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Trust

Ishaan Dev woke up at the sound of the hourly bells and trumpets and found himself alone in bed. It took him some time to realise that he had perhaps overslept as he looked confused, half asleep first at the hourglass and then at the sun rays coming into the chambers through the swaying curtains. He sat up to suddenly remember the happenings of the night, as his eyes travelled to the blood stain on the sheet and he sat in contemplation for a good few minutes. He finally had his moment with Priyambada and it was nothing like he had imagined it to be. A part of him that yearned to touch her and taste her was satisfied enough to realise that his longing for her was not only physical. When bodies entwined in the union, and he had pushed himself in, as he had with a hundred other women before her, something in him felt a different sense of completeness and fulfilment that he realised was missing from his life. He had seen Priyambada react to the sensations that were completely new to her, moaning at his touch as the pleasure reflected in her eyes. Yet unlike all the time he had proudly flaunted his preference for older women, her age, her identity, and even her name didn’t matter in the moment of union. The feeling that took over every nerve in his aroused body was phenomenally new. Ishaan Dev suddenly jolted from his thoughts remembering it was the morning of Nayantara’s farewell. He hurried to get dressed. 

Maharani Priyambada had walked into the corridor, struggling a little with her pace. 
“Are you alright?” She was suddenly taken aback by Sumedha’s question as she nodded.
“Yes, why?”
“You are limping,” Sumedha said rather monotonously as her face flushed. 
“I… must have hurt myself…” She looked away as her eyes fell on the Maharani of Suryapali sitting away from the crowd of women in the garden on a bench.
“Excuse me.” Priyambada tried hard to normalise her pace as she walked up to the Maharani who looked absent-minded.
“Don’t worry, she will be fine.” Maharani Trinayani Devi was surprised as her cold hands were touched reassuringly by Priyambada’s warm ones. She looked up at Priyambada who smiled faintly. She controlled her tears with a sigh, acknowledged the queen of Neelambargarh and walked up to the ladies to play host. It was then that Sumedha took her to meet Nayantara.
Rajkumari Nayantara was being dressed up by the ladies gifted to her by her in-laws in a bridal trousseau as they walked into her chambers. The things she would take with her were neatly packed in the trunks as she smiled faintly, spotting the ladies. Sumedha and Priyambada walked up to her side and sat down as she dismissed the maid.
“How was the night?” Sumedha teased as Nayantara smiled faintly.
“Are you alright?” It was Priyambada’s words that made her eyes sparkle. 
“Just scared.” She confessed with a feeble voice. Sumedha looked at her with concern as Priyambada cleared her throat.
“I am sure the Raja will be supportive of you.” She was reassured as Nayantara’s smile faded. 
“He wasn’t much yesterday for sure.” Nayantara’s words made Sumedha gasp as Priyambada looked concerned. Nayantara could sense their worry as she quickly added “I mean we didn’t talk…” Sumedha teased her again reassuringly before leaving them to go look for her daughter when Priyambada held Nayantara’s hand in hers.
“Whatever happens, always remember that Neelambargarh’s doors are always open for you. Never give in to anyone, especially with your self-esteem.” Priyambada reminded her firmly. Nayantara shook her head with a faint smile.
“Not everyone is the queen of Neelambargarh.”
“Not everyone is the princess of Suryapali either.” Priyambada reminded her. “And I repeat if anything is wrong, anything at all, you know your brother and I are there and Neelambargarh is always ready to welcome you even if... others don't.” Nayantara nodded and hugged her as Priyambada sighed. Oddly enough, Priyambada found her eyes teary as Nayantara wiped away her tears. Gulabi Bai interrupted them with a bow. It was time to leave.
Amidst the overwhelming emotions, when Nayantara bid her family goodbye, Priyambada found herself with an empty feeling. As she saw Nayantara approach Ishaan Dev on the other side of the courtyard as he placed his hand over her head, barely able to smile reassuringly at her, Priyambada couldn’t stand there any longer. She didn’t know exactly what stirred her. If it was Nayantara leaving, whatever transpired the previous night that was supposed to be her stepping into womanhood or the fact that seeing Nayantara with her brothers reminded her of old wounds. Priyambada wiped away her tears as she stepped back discreetly in the crowd and moved away from the scene where the entourage was leaving slowly with the blow of drums and trumpets, elephants, horses, and chariots in a line. She walked down the corridor, to an empty part of the wing and wiped her tears before anyone saw her.
“Such an overwhelming moment, isn’t it?” The unfamiliar voice made her glance over her shoulder with a frown on her face. It was Trishaan Dev. Rarely had she seen him except for in public appearances yet she could never forget that face. That man killed Kumar Prithvi. He was the last person she wanted to see now. “I apologise, did I disturb the Maharani?” Trishaan Dev smiled from a distance. Priyambada’s jaws tightened as she silently shook her head.
“Well, my apologies again, for not all princesses are as lucky as the one of Suryapali to get such a farewell.” She looked up at his words. The lingering smile refused to leave his face. Priyambada inhaled and smiled.
“Well not everyone selfishly thinks of themselves in every situation.” She shrugged. “It is alright, you won’t understand.” Trishaan Dev’s smile faded at her words. What did she know about him? Was it possible that she was aware of his deeds or simply bluffing her way through? He smiled again. 
“Yes, some people think of nothing but their states and subjects. So much that they can emotionally manipulate situations to their favour. I am not so talented.” He nodded. Priyambada smiled wider.
“You should learn then, might help you make your way to wherever you want to reach.” She turned to leave.
“I have reached where I want to. I killed the heir and prince of the age-old rivals, like a true Suryapalian. I will proudly flaunt that to my ancestors on the other side.” Maharani Priyambada inhaled to compose herself. This was no time to be weak, not with the enemy trying to intimidate her.
“Ancestors?” Priyambada almost chuckled. “I thought you had no pedigree, born in the Kothi of the Rajadhiraja's palace.” Trishaan Dev’s face changed from serious to agitated. Priyambada could feel that.
“Oh, you have grown a pair of wings since he has taken a liking to you, haven’t you?” Trishaan Dev rebuked, “I think it is time I remind him to show you your place.” Priyambada’s heart skipped a beat as he continued “From where I see, you are the sorest loser I ever set eyes upon, and no title of Maharani can ever make it right. You think he likes you?” Trishaan Dev chuckled. “Oh, your naïve self-obsession makes you believe what he wants you to believe. You are a conquest, that is what you will always be. Even if you have heirs, they will always be known for their father’s blood, not yours. Your dynasty is doomed.” Priyambada stepped back, in silence, her face still not intimidated by the looks of it. Her silence was enough to make Trishaan Dev continue, “You don’t loath us, you are jealous, for you know exactly who you are and have been to him. You will never be one of us.” Trishaan Dev came forward a few steps as Priyambada stood fixed to her spot as her heart raced and throat went dry.
“He just wanted to conquer the whole of Neelambargarh and that he has.” 
Priyambada could take it no longer as she turned and left without sparing the man even a single glance. He was not worthy of her time. No matter what he said, he was a nobody and she… she was the queen, his co-regent, his wife.
Priyambada sat down on the edge of the bed as she felt suffocated. Vrinda rushed to her, seeing her distressed and offered her water. “Leave me alone.” She commanded as the intimidated maids left. She shut the door and locked it from the inside as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. 
He just wanted to conquer the whole of Neelambargarh and that he has. Priyambada sat down on the carpet, tears running down her cheeks and perspiration appearing on her forehead as she let out a muffled cry. She could see the bedsheets had been replaced. Sooner or later, the news would reach the Maharani of Suryapali. They had finally conquered Neelambargarh. Priyambada suddenly remembered his words I will have you, as I want when I want… Priyambada’s face turned pale. Had she made a mistake? Was it all about the politics and heir? Was all the feelings she felt the previous night wrong? Priyambada shook her head confused.
“No that can’t be.” She said aloud as if to herself. She couldn’t be that wrong about him. She remembered Trinayani Devi’s words. Some people didn’t want them to be together. But Trishaan was his closest aide and friend. Why would he say something like that? Because he hated her for who she was? He killed her brother. Priyambada’s jaws tightened. She imagined if this was Neelambargarh. She wouldn’t have thought twice before taking her dagger out of her waistband and striking him. Or perhaps she would have? She wasn’t sure whom Ishaan Dev would trust if it was her words versus his. She wasn’t even sure of Ishaan Dev’s intentions. The weather outside was suddenly gloomy, as a sign of an impending storm. Clouds were gathering on the horizon. The same could be said about her heart. Her thoughts were scattered. Her eyes fell on the Churamani on her head. He never told her, in words, about it. He tricked her, didn’t he? 
Priyambada let out a frustrated cry as she pulled the bed sheet and cushions closer to her chest and scattered them across the floor. Whom should she believe? Whom should she trust? Priyambada’s throat felt dry. What if she was pregnant with his child? What if that was all he needed before he sidelined her for another marriage, another wife… Advika? Priyambada felt disgusted at her thoughts. What more did Ishaan Dev need to do to make her feel otherwise? She was convinced till a while ago. Was their relationship so fragile to be shredded by doubt in moments by anyone else? Even the person who killed her brother?
Ishaan Dev had found Priyambada missing from the luncheon and the evening dance presented by Suryapali's best dancers. Some of the guests were still there and he found no time to enquire about her. But he was worried. Had his actions upset her? Hurt her? Perhaps she wasn’t feeling too well after the night and it was all because of him.
“Her Highness has sent her apology, she has a headache,” Vrinda whispered when he sent her to know why Priyambada was absent from the feast. It was then that Ishaan Dev was sure that she was lying. He suddenly felt scared and guilty. In his mind, he tried to revisit the night and think of which of his actions might have made her feel disturbed. Was it when she complained of pain? Or told him to stop and he didn’t? He needed to talk to her. But with Trishaan Dev insisting on yet another drink it was impossible to leave, especially with an excuse of checking on his wife.  He was already overwhelmed with Nayantara’s farewell.
Priyambada sat silently, watching the rain lash through the balcony and fall in patterns on the waters of the Talab as she sat on the cold stone floor watching the thunder and lightning. Her mind was perturbed. She had fallen asleep in the middle of her thoughts and sobbing, tired. After a long time, she saw the nightmare once again. The nightmare where Trishaan Dev laughed as he mutilated Prithvi. Prithvi was crying for help. Priyambada couldn’t reach him. Every time she tried, the highchairs of Neelambargarh rose higher and higher, away from Prithvi and all she could see was Ishaan Dev’s smirking victorious face. She had woken up with a gasp like she couldn’t breathe. Was it a message Kumar Prithvi was giving from the afterlife? Reminding her that she has betrayed him with her emotions? There was nothing she could do. Who would she tell what she heard? Confide in? She had nobody. Priyambada crossed her arms closely around her knees, hugging herself reassuringly and exhaled.
Ishaan Dev walked into the chambers and frowned as she was not on the bed. He glanced over the dimly lit room, towards the balcony overlooking the Talab and gasped.
“You will fall sick.” His voice jolted her as she looked up at his frowning face calmly. “You are getting wet.” He was quick to look around the room for a dry cloth to wrap around her cold arms. Priyambada looked away and shifted.
“I am fine, leave me alone.” He frowned at her words.
“Priya.” He said almost unsurely “What is…”
“Leave me alone.” She said rather sternly, her eyes still on the patterns falling in the Talab.
“I am not going to leave you alone. You know better than that, Priya. I hope you do.” His voice was stern as she looked up at him with a melancholy smile.
“Why? Because the Princess of Neelambargarh is a captive with no say?” The hint of taunt in her voice was inevitable.
“What?” Ishaan Dev sat down on the floor, beside her, not caring about the stones being wet from the rain. “Did someone say something?”
“You did it, didn’t you?” She retorted with a taunt “Told your friends about your feat?”
“What are you talking about?” Ishaan Dev shook his head “Don’t riddle me.”
“Oh, am I riddling you or are all of you playing me?” Priyambada looked up at him with a hint of disgust in her voice. “I don’t know whom to trust anymore.”
“Priya!” Ishaan Dev held her resistant hands firmly in his. “If there is anything that makes you feel you can’t trust me…” Priyambada shook her head and let out a chuckle, making him stop with a frown.
“You did it, Yuvaraja.” She shook her head. “You conquered Neelambargarh, all of it. And boasted to your friends!” 
“Enough.” Ishaan Dev was suddenly agitated as he held her upper arms and pulled her to closer proximity, jolting her. “You are saying things that make no sense.”
“Am I?” Priyambada’s eyes were fixed on his, as Ishaan Dev saw tears she was trying hard to fight away. 
“Didn’t you want me to surrender? That was all you…” Priyambada suddenly sobbed as Ishaan Dev let go of her arms, a little taken aback. “You did it.” She hid her face in her hands as she sobbed “You defeated Neelambargarh. I let you win over Prithvi.” Priyambada’s sobs turned to a wail as she mumbled “He came to my dreams again. He… he…” Ishaan Dev suddenly pitied her dilemma. He could see that Priyambada was hurting herself with her guilt when she had no fault of her own. Ishaan Dev suddenly hugged her tightly, placing his hand over her head firmly. Priyambada exhaled as she found herself in his warm protective arms, as he embraced her tightly as if to say he wasn’t letting go.
“Nobody is blaming you for anything.” He spoke firmly “You can’t live your life over what dead people might think. The truth is, Priya, they are dead, they can’t think of you anymore. You can. I can.” Priyambada pushed herself away from his chest as his arms tightened around her.
“If you think I would let you go so easily you are mistaken. You are stuck with me for life.” Ishaan Dev made her look up at him. “I don’t know what happened and I don’t know why you feel this way. I was scared I had offended you yesterday. Perhaps overstepped my boundaries. But Priya…” He cupped her face and wiped her tears as Priyambada tried to pacify her heavy breathing. “I might have told you I wanted you for the sake of conquering Neelambargarh, but then you were the enemy, the prize and the captive. I wasn’t in love with you, as I am today, and I will be forever.” He placed a gentle kiss on her temple as he continued, while Priyambada’s wails turned to sobs “I know it is difficult to trust me, but if Prithvi was here, even if we were rivals, he would have been happy because he would know the truth. The only truth that matters to me. Not who we are, what positions we hold, our history, ancestry, rivalry or past. Just that I, Ishaan Dev Varman, am in love with my wife, Maharani Priyambada, and I can do anything to make her trust me enough to reciprocate my love.” Priyambada stared at Ishaan Dev’s eyes sparkling in the lamp of the room as she sighed. He hugged her again. 
“You are wet. I will send Vrinda in to help you change. Then get some sleep. You need it.” He rose from the floor, as Priyambada glanced up at him, her doe eyes still pained as he looked away and composed himself. He walked away as Vrinda came in and Priyambada pulled herself together to compose herself. Whatever he said, the way he said it, left no doubt in her mind that she was letting Trishaan Dev play his games and win. She remembered Ishaan Dev’s words. They were supposed to fight the world together. Priyambada wiped away her tears, promising herself never to distrust him again over someone else’s words.
Ishaan Dev walked back into the room, unsure, as her words played in his mind. He saw Priyambada curled up on her side of the bed, still sleepless, and teary. Ishaan Dev walked over to his side and lay down. He glanced over at her curled-up figure, shivering a little as the stormy wind entered the cold room. He pulled the blanket over her as she held onto his hand. Ishaan Dev inhaled. He sank back on his pillow, closer to her body, and hugged her from behind as she held onto his arm. He could sense Priyambada sobbing as he tightened his hug around her and waited till she fell asleep.

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  উত্তর   সারাদিন কাজে মন বসেনা অনিরুদ্ধর। বাইরে অঝোরে বৃষ্টি হতে থাকে, ঝোড়োও হওয়ায় ঘরের পর্দা দোলে , জিনিসপত্র এলোমেলো হয়ে যায়। কয়েলি আসে ছোট মালিকের জিনিস গুছিয়ে দিতে, তিনি কিছু খাবেন কিনা শুধোতে কিন্তু তাকে চলে যেতে বলে ঘরে খিল দেয় অনিরুদ্ধ। একা থাকতে চায়। তার মনে আনাগোনা করে অসংখ প্রশ্ন এবং আশংকা। যে ভাবে বন্দিতা স্বেচ্ছায় মায়ের কাছে গেল আজ, সেরকম সে কোনদিন যায়না । বরং বছরে একবার জামাই ষষ্টিতে যাওয়ার আগেও একশো বার বাড়ির কাজকম্ম দেখে শুনে যায়। বটুকের পরীক্ষা, কারুর শরীর খারাপ হলে তো কথাই নেই। সেই বন্দিতা আজ হঠাৎ বাড়ি যাবে বলে কি তাড়াতাড়ি পোটলা গুছিয়েছে। এতই কি দূরে চলে গেছে সে অনিরুদ্ধের থেকে? তা কি তার নিজের দোষে? ভাবতে থাকে অনিরুদ্ধ। সে দূরে সরিয়ে দিয়েছে বলে অভিমান না কি তাকে স্বামী রূপে গ্রহণ করতে পারেনা বন্দিতা? অনিরুদ্ধ পশ্চাতাপ করে। সত্যি যদি বন্দিতা সব জেনে তাদের সম্পর্ক অস্বীকার করে, তাকে কি দোষ দেওয়া চলে? তবে কি তাই সেদিন রাত্রে জেগে থাকা সত্যেও ঘুমের অভিনয় করছিল সে? কি ভেবেছে সে অনিরুদ্ধের ব্যাপারে? কেন চারিদিক বাছবিচার না করে এমন করল অনিরুদ্ধ? নিজের প্রতিজ্ঞ...

Adornment

The rainy night had given way to a rather pleasant summer morning in Suryapali. The temperature was no longer soaring and a gentle breeze blew through the plains of Suryapali. The sun peeped out through the floating clouds occasionally. Priyambada walked into her chambers after a luncheon to find trays laid with drapes and jewellery, waiting for her. “The Maharani sent this for some celebration in the evening,” Vrinda spoke, bowing at her mistress who nodded silently. Priyambada eyed the trays and exhaled. She wasn’t sure if anyone talked to Ishaan Dev about the rituals. She dismissed Vrinda and decided to read the scripture. As Priyambada sat down on the edge of the bed, scripture in hand, her thoughts travelled to the happenings of the night and she inhaled as her throat felt dry. Why did he stop? Did he feel that he had offended her? Priyambada wondered. She walked up to the attire laid down for the evening and picked up the drape wrapped into a bodice and wrap-around skirt. They w...

Ghore Fera

  ঘরে ফেরা   বন্দিতার মামা মেয়ের সাথে দেখা করতে আসেন তুলশিপুর। গরিবের ঘরের ছা পোষা চেহারা তার, পরনে খাটো ধুতি ও ছিটের জামা। মেয়ের শশুরবাড়িতে খালি হাতে আসা অন্যায় তাই দুটি মিষ্টির হাড়ি সাথে। অনিচ্ছা সত্তেও রায় চৌধুরী বাড়িতে যেতে হয় তাকে। তারা তুলশিপুরের জমিদার, সম্পূর্ণার শ্বশুরের মনিব, তাদের সম্মান করে চলা মঙ্গল। তা ছাড়া যে বোন  ও বোনঝিকে আশ্রয় দেওয়া নিয়ে দিনরাত কথা শোনাতে বাঁধতো না তার, সেই বোন  এখন মাস গেলে তার হাতে টাকা তুলে দেয়, অনিরুদ্ধ বাবুর দয়ায়। হাতে আসা লক্ষ্মী পায়ে ঠেলার বিলাসিতা করার মত মুরোদ নয় তার। অগত্যা বোনঝির সাথে দেখা করতে জমিদার বাড়ি আসা। এদের বাড়ির চাকররাও  তার থেকে ভাল পোশাক পরে; ভাগ্য দেখো মেয়েটার। কোথায় কোন বুড়োর বাড়ির এক কোণে পরে থাকার ব্যবস্থা করেছিল সে, এখন বন্দিতা রাজরানী।  জমিদার ত্রিলোচন রায় চৌধুরীর যাকে পছন্দ নয় তাকে তিনি সেটা বুঝিয়ে দিতে দ্বিধা বোধ করেন না। বন্দিতার মামা তার তেমন এক অপছন্দের পাত্র । বৌমার মুখে তিনি যা  শুনেছেন তারপর বৌমার তাদের প্রতি টান দেখে আশ্চর্য হন ত্রিলোচন বাবু। কিন্তু কুটুম্ব তারা। হাতে কর...

Gratefulness

Aniruddha did not return home that night, he informed on the telephone that he was stuck in urgent work so he would return home the next day after spending the night at the client's house. Bondita spent a sleepless night. What would she tell Barrister Babu? And why would he believe it? She was lost in her thoughts twisting and turning in bed all night. She was hurt. Was her husband so reluctant towards their relationship that he did not wish to return home because of her? Once he was busy with some work and was pacing in the study room. Bondita was a child. Her Jetha Shoshur Moshai had taught her to serve her husband. She used to see Bihari take a cup of tea to the study room every day. Despite Bihari's resistance, she picked up the cup of tea that day.  "Don't do this, Ginnima ," Bihari was terrified. “Barrister Babu does not like to talk or be disturbed during his work. If he gets angry, I will lose my job.” Bondita ignored his words and entered the study room w...