Love Found

It was late at night when Shehzaade Shahryar put down the book he had just finished and walked up to his window. The gentle breeze blowing from the Yamuna smelled like wet soil and Jasmine flowers. He looked across to the moon-lit Harem engulfed in darkness and frowned. One chamber was still illuminated like his; he knew it was Ladli Begum’s. He had a strong urge to check on Ladli Begum, but instead, decided to send her a message. What Shehzaade Shahryar didn’t expect was for her to come to his chambers, herself.

As soon as he had heard footsteps at his threshold, he was hoping she had sent a reply to his simple “How are you? I just saw the light burning still and wondered.” Instead, her figure on his threshold prompted him to request his servants to light the remaining candles in his room and leave. As soon as they dispersed, Ladli Begum removed the veil over her face and sighed. She looked distraught. Shehzaade Shahryar offered her water and made her sit on the cushion beside his bed.

“What’s wrong?” His question was met with a faint smile. His bows arched up.

“He refused?”He asked as Ladli Begum nodded, “Why?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I don’t want to know.” She said, looking away, outside, at the waters of the talab glittering in a moonbeam. He sat beside her in silence.

“I... understand.” He said almost like a murmur, looking down at the carpet at their feet.

Ladli Begum smiled, “Oh, do you?” He nodded. She frowned. “Who broke your heart, Shehzaade?”

He took a heavy breath and looked up at her face with a faint smile. She could see something different in his eyes today; a sense of sadness or perhaps abandonment, rather than the usual taunts and jests. Ladli Begum’s brows shot up like an arc of a rainbow as realisation dawned. He looked away.

“I... am so sorry... I didn’t realise...” She stammered. 

“It’s alright.” He was quick to dismiss her guilt, “We all have our hearts broken someday. Don’t we?” He asked, staring into her shining eyes as she nodded, “Today, we deal with yours.”He reassured. Unsure and scared, Shehzaade Shahryar made the bold move of holding her cold hands tightly between his palms. She didn’t resist. Instead, she sighed. A silence followed.

“What would you want to be if you weren’t a prince?” She asked. Shehzaade Shahryar thought a little, narrowing his brows that made the skin of his forehead ripple. 

“Perhaps become a merchant!” He said.

“Why a merchant?” Ladli Begum asked, surprised.

“That’s how I could travel the world, see places and meet new people.” He said, “The world here is pretty small.”

“But soon you will be out on expeditions and wars, see new places, and meet new people.”

“It’s not the same. War, politics, and homesickness are different experiences.” He shrugged.

“How do you know?” Ladli Begum frowned. “You never went to war.”

“I will soon. And you will be glad; I won’t be around to taunt you.” He said with a smile.

“That’s not true!” Ladli Begum shrugged with a protest, “I never wanted you to go away.”

“Oh, is that so?” Shahryr now looked amused. “I tried hard to be friends again.”

“I just have a problem with forgiving and forgetting.” She shrugged. “I can’t help that.”

“Will you be able to forgive Shehzaade Shah Jahan?” He asked. The smile disappeared from her lips.

“He did no wrong to me. Both he and Mumtaj Mahal had been extremely kind to me.” She said plainly.

“Then why did you send the handmaid away with those scented papers? Will you not write to your sister anymore?” He asked. Ladli Begum looked at him in suspicion. 

“How do you know that? Do you keep an eye on every move of mine?” She asked. Shehzaade Shahryr laughed.

“What do I do? The heart doesn’t stop hoping.” Ladli Begum took her hand away from his palms at this. Shahryr cursed himself under his breath.

“I apologise. I didn’t want to make you feel weird.” He said. 

“No, it’s okay.” She sighed. “I will write to her once I am healed. I will take a day or two. But she is, of course, my sister. She was there when nobody was.”

“I think you should be honest about your feelings with her.” Shahryar said, “She should know.”

“No. Some feelings aren’t supposed to be shared with everyone.” Ladli shook her head. “Can I ask you something?” He nodded.

“I... even after knowing that I...” She looked awkward.

“Do you love Shehzaade Khurram?” He finished.

“Why... did you...?” She asked, looking up at him.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, “Some things are beyond rationale and reason. Don’t wrap your head around it too much and overthink!”

“I should go.” Ladli Begum walked away as Shehzaade Shahryr blew out the candles.

That night, Nur Jahan sat sleepless at the window as Jahangir woke up, seeing her by the windowsill. He looked worried as he wrapped his gown around his body and walked up to her. 

“Sleep now.” He said, placing his hand on her shoulder as she looked startled.

Ladli Begum lay awake in her bed, looking at the ceiling. Tonight, all of a sudden, she had grown out of her innocence and into a woman of substance.

Shehzaade Shahryar had just completed his archery lessons and had attended court with his teachers, who told the emperor that he was now ready for his first expedition. The emperor was glad to hear the news, and the empress presented him with congratulatory gifts. A few courtiers looked at him with doubt. They had heard rumours of his womanly ways. He wasn’t a deft warrior. He was interested in more womanly things since his childhood. He even played with dolls with the princesses for fear of being beaten up by boys. No matter how competent an archer he became, he was particular about his attire and was feminine to their scrutinising glances. Shehzaade Shahryar was used to these judgmental looks. Yet he was happy that today his father had noticed him. 

“He will be going on his first expedition, and before that, we will look for a bride fitted for him.” The Padshah had declared. Some of the people present at court exchanged amused glances, wondering which woman would marry this lady-like man? Shahryar could see the smiles and amusement. He kept mum. He didn’t have the heart to protest. He wasn’t that brave.

He was on his way back to his chambers when Ladli Begum met him in the courtyard. Ever since that night, he hadn’t had a conversation with her, and she, too, avoided him. He assumed she felt awkward around his presence and never tried to force a conversation. It’s been a week.

“Congratulations on your first expedition.” Ladli Begum smiled. Shehzaade Shahryar nodded, “Shukriya.”

“So when do you leave?” Ladli Begum asked. 

“In a few weeks, maybe.” He said with a shrug and walked past her.

“Shahryar.” Ladli Begum made him stop and turn. “Have you... chosen a bride?”

“A bride?” He frowned. 

“Yes, I heard that you can’t leave unless you are betrothed to someone.” Ladli Begum spoke.

“Oh, the emperor did mention that. I don’t think they can find someone that soon.” Shehzaade Shahryar let out an amused chuckle, “You know the kind of rumours they have about me, liking men!”

“The family knows those aren’t true!” Ladli Begum shrugged defensively.

“You know for sure. Bazaar gossip is powerful. Anyway, it doesn’t matter to me.” Shahryar started walking away again.

“Will you marry me?” Shahryar thought his ears were ringing as his heart skipped a beat.

“What?” he asked, half turning towards Ladli Begum. “Will you marry me?” She repeated. 

“Ladli Begum.” He reasoned, even when his throat dried up, and his heart raced. “You know such a decision can’t be taken in haste.”

“Why not?” Ladli frowned “You like me.”

“I love you.” He corrected, “But that’s not enough.” He shook his head, “I don’t want to put you in any position, nor would I want people to think I am choosing you for who your mother is.”

“Do you think I care for all of that?” Ladli Begum looked irked.

“You deserve better.” He shrugged. “And you wouldn’t have known any of it had you not come that night. It was a moment of weakness I had and...”

“I deserve love, don’t I?” Ladli spoke, taking a step towards him. “I have lost love once, I don’t want to lose it again.”

Shahryr looked up at her words, “What?”

“You going away is something I can’t take until you promise to return to me,” Ladli spoke, her eyes shining, as she took another step towards him. His lips dried up. 

“But... your mother won’t agree.” He reasoned.

“Then we will run away and live like merchants.” Ladli smiled. “I think I will like that.”

“I think I will like that too.” Shahryar smiled back. 

“Come with me then.” Ladli Begum tucked her hand under his arm, taking him by surprise as he looked around.

“Where to?” He said.

“To meet the Padshah Salamat and Padshah Begum.” She said, “And tell them what we decided.”

Shahryr looked taken aback “Now?”

“Yes!”

“You are a very dangerous woman. If the Padshah Begum decides to take my head...”

“I will save you.” Ladli Begum laughed. Shehzaade Shahryr stared at her and asked.

“Are you sure? Do you love me?”

“I am.” She smiled. Her mother’s voice rang in her ears, “We should always choose to marry the one who loves us, rather than the one we love. Life is more beautiful then.”

Jahangir was pleasantly surprised by the development, while Nur Jahan looked shocked. All eyes were on her when she looked at her husband, waiting for her decision, and caught a glimpse of Ladli’s happy face. She nodded. Nothing else mattered now. Ladli Begum had found what she wanted: love.