His Wife

" Where is the Kesar, Rama? And the Kalash?" Ajabdeh looked visibly displeased at the ladies who ran around.
" They are at the fort gates, and nothing is ready yet!" She exclaimed. She was clad in a red lehenga and the jewellery she had inherited as the first Kunwarani of the crown prince. Little Amar ran down the hallway towards his mother.
" Maasa Maasa... who is coming with Daajiraj?" His innocent question made her heart sink.
" Bhanwar Ji." Sajja Bai called out to him. " Come here, I will tell you." Amar rushed to his Majhli Dadisa.,
" Ajabdeh." She turned at Jaivanta Bai's call. "They are here."
" M... My Aarti thali..." Ajabde looked lost like never before. Jaivanta Bai held her stone-cold hands, making her stop. She patted her head and gave her a hug. The hug gave her the comfort she was looking for as her racing heart calmed down. Jaivanta Bai left her alone with her thaal.
" Maa sa!" Amar exclaimed as she hid a tear.
" Yes, Amar?"
" She is my Chotima?" He asked with a smile. The word made Ajabdeh's heart skip a beat. She sat down on her knees and straightened the boy's turban.
" She is your Nayi Maa sa." She replied with a smile. " You won't ever call her or anyone Chotima." The boy nodded cluelessly.
Kunwar Pratap was sure no man had a wife like Ajabdeh. She literally took a promise in Amar's name from him for the alliance. In a way, he always knew she was not like the others, but he expected a little possessiveness attached to love; instead, he found the Kunwarani of Mewar preparing to bring his other wife home. He hadn't spoken to her in the last three days; she had avoided his glances and spent most of her time with relatives and Amar. She was making this more difficult. Only, she didn't see the pain in his eyes when he left with the Baraat. He had searched the Jharokhas in vain as the Mahal faded behind him.
 
Rajkumari Pur Bai Solankhini was a niece of Sajja Bai. When Rani Jaivanta Bai first walked into the Solankhinipur palace with Kunwarani Ajabdeh Baisa, one look at the ladies mesmerised her. She had heard of how the Maharani had chosen a Samantputri for Mewar's crown prince and even about the heir, Amar Singh. Her father's kingdom was not strong enough to protect itself from the constant attacks of the Mughals and Afghans. She was just a token of appreciation given to Mewar for saving Solankhinipur. She knew the moment Kunwarani hugged her and called her Behena that this person was going to be her only friend in the strange land of Mewar. Ajabdeh Baisa had an aura of goodness around her. She, like any princess, was scared to death at the news that she was going to be Kunwar Pratap Singh's wife. Ajabdeh Baisa had held her hand, saying, " I am there." She was not sure what she would have done in this lady's place. It increased her respect for herself.
 
When the antarpath was dropped between them, he hadn't looked up. She knew in her heart and soul that she was no match for the Kunwaranisa Ajabdeh she had heard of. Now she was sure. But when she was supposed to be sad and cursing her fate, she found a smile appear on her lips at his dedication to the one she now called Jija. She never had sisters; her overprotective brothers were giving her away to the man who would never love her, and here was the lady, who was giving her a part of her life, smiling as she got down from the palanquin, ready to welcome her. The aarti seemed to be the longest ever as his eyes hovered around Ajabdeh's face. There was no hint of... what he looked for. She was really convincing to people. But he knew her soul was crying. Like his. She placed the Kalash and said in a low voice, "Please come inside, Baisa."
 
The ring game had always excited the smaller ones, the Rajkumaris and Rajkumar. Kunwar Pratap really didn't care anymore. He felt empty. He wished these rituals would be over soon. He had always had strong opinions against marital alliances, and here he was trapped, in a marriage he could never respect. Maan was about to drop the ring when Jaivanta Bai stopped them.
" Someone, look for Ajabdeh. She should be in this game too." Ajabdeh had moved away from his view as he continued to stare at her. She feared his look would break her. That was not ideal for Mewar's Kunwarani. Ranima's call prompted her to step up on the dais. She sat next to the new bride and smiled at her as Kunwar Pratap looked at her coldly. She felt his look as Solankhini noticed it.
" Nayi Maa sa." Amar ran to his mother's lap as everyone smiled. His call made Kunwar Pratap look up at Ajabde again, who once again successfully ignored his glances.
" Behena, this is Bhanwarji." Ajabdeh smiled.
" Bhanwar Amar Pratap Singh Sisodia." The boy spoke as Solankhini smiled.
" You have a sword too." Solankhini smiled at the little sword he kept copying from his father. Only his one was a blunt wooden.
" Yes, Nayi Maa sa, I will show you my sword skills." He replied happily.
" Bhanwarji, come stand with me. There will be a game now. Between your Maa sa, Nayi Ma and Daajiraj." Jaivanta Bai called him.
" Daajiraj always wins." Made Kunwar Pratap smile at his son. Ajabdeh was happy that at least something made him smile.
 
The ring was dropped, and three hands went into the bowl of milk. Eyes met as Solankhini witnessed the scene. Her hand wandered, realising he was holding Jija's. Not letting it move. Again, a smile curved her lips. If someone else told her that they smiled in such a situation, she would have felt that they were mad, but today she smiled seeing them. Ajabdeh's eyes wandered from his to the crowd as she struggled to free herself from his grip. Suddenly, she spotted Kunwar Shakti in the crowd, visibly disturbed. She wondered what was wrong. Kunwar Pratap loosened his grip, unsure of her worried face. She came back to reality as her hand brushed something cold while the other two looked frantically.
 
" Kunwarani Ajabdeh Baisa won again!" Saubhagyawati declared, smiling.
" But Daajiraj never loses." Amar frowned.
" Your Daajiraj always loses to Maasa. Always will." He said the latter part softly as he stared at her. Solankhini Bai noticed Ajabdeh blushing. They were the only ones who could hear what he said.
" Solankhini Baisa, I feel sad for you." Dheer Bai spoke up. " Now Ajabdeh will rule over both Kunwarsa and you!"
" Chotima." Ajabdeh smiled before Kunwar Pratap could say something. "Ranima and you both are equally important to Ranaji, too; we will divide our importance, too. Hai na, Behena? Besides, Amar already loves his Nayi Ma more, don't you, Amar?" She smiled as the boy nodded. Solankhini realised that her Jija was protective of her family too. She was so thankful to the Lord for this.

That night, Ajabdeh retired to Amar's room after she had taken Solankhini Bai for a tour of the Hall of Ancestors and made sure that the guests had their dinners. Kunwar Pratap had left with Rawat ji as soon as the ceremonies ended, and Maan and Chand took up the job of taking him to his new bride that night. Alone beside the sleeping boy, she caressed his hair. Then hugged him tight and let the silent tears flow. In the closed doors of the room, she was only his wife.
He came into the decorated room where Solankhini Bai sat. She was awestruck at how Ajabdeh Baisa talked of her early days in the palace as she dressed her for the night. She left, saying some words of advice she would never forget. She looked up as he looked away. Jija had said he would. 
" I...."
" I know what you want to say, Kunwarsa." Her words made him look up as she smiled. Maybe I can smile because I am still not in love with this stranger. 
"Ji?" He asked, surprised.
" I am not Jija, I can never be her, I don't even want to. She is so..."
" Perfect." He added. She nodded. " She is a living Devi." He smiled as the praises seemed to be for him.
" Woh..."
" She is in Bhanwarji's room, Kunwar Sa." She smiled again. He was grateful. Genuinely grateful. He was not sure if this princess was genuinely this good or if it was Ajabde's effect on everyone. But he thanked his stars. The last thing he wanted was a family like his father's. He turned to leave but stopped at the doorway.
" Kunwarani ji... Dhanyavaad." She nodded as he left.
He creaked open the door and dispersed the Daasi. Ajabde sat up, wiping away her tears as she felt his presence.
" Kunwar Pratap?" She asked, surprised.
" I am here to see my son, not the one who readily shares with me." He looked away.
" Kunwar Pratap, do you realise..."
" Do you realise you are making things more difficult by pushing me away, Ajabdeh?"
" You have some responsibilities towards..." His hand stopped her.
" I don't want to be reminded of that again. Please let me be here. Please." His eyes shone as hers couldn't hold back the tears. He was happy that she was finally showing her emotions. He hugged her tightly in reassurance. Although she was happy in his arms, thinking about Solankini made her feel guilty. Guilty of being his irreplaceable everything.
 
"Promise me, Ajabdeh, you will not let Amar be raised in a family where brothers hate each other and mothers fake love just for a throne." He looked worried. " I don't want him to go through what I..."
" I promise Kunwar Pratap, it is my duty to make sure your family is a unit, where brothers are like Ram and Laxman, and there is no lust for power. I will teach Amar..."
"I know he will never be wrong; he is a part of you, of us. I worry about..." He stopped.
" Not every second wife is like your Chotima. I promise you, Amar will never have a Choti ma."
She held his hand, reassuring him as the dawn broke in Mewar. Amar woke up at his mother's Bhajan, spotting his father fixing his turban. Kunwar Pratap smiled at the boy as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. Solankhini was helping Ajabde with the garland as Ajabde continued to look guilty. Amar rushed to the Puja room and received a warm hug from his Nayi Maasa.
 
" Baojiraj, Ranaji is calling you urgently." A Sevak came as he rushed out with a frown. As soon as he left, Ajabdeh called the Daasi to get Amar ready. Alone, she now held Solankhini's hand.
" Behena... I..."
" Jija, you have no idea how happy I am." Her words surprised Ajabde.
" I don't even know Kunwarsa, and frankly, I'm a little scared of him, too, like you said." This made Ajabdeh smile.
" But you gave me a son, that too like Bhawarji Jija." She smiled happily. " I can take care of him and feed him and play with him..." She continued in childish enthusiasm as Ajabdeh looked on. " Only if you let me." She added softly.
" Behna, he is as much yours as mine." Ajabde smiled. " You can feel free to..."
" Maa sa." Amar interrupted. " Attach my broach!" He looked helpless.
" Let your Nayi maa help." Ajabdeh smiled. Solankhini happily did the honours as Amar hugged her. Ajabdeh looked at the duo, thinking, ``This was perfect until she would finally be able to push him a little towards..."
" Ajabdeh!" He walked in, forgetting she had company. He felt awkward. Solankini picked up Amar, saying, " Show me some sword skills, Bhanwarji," and left.
 
Ajabdeh looked at his worried face.
" What is it?"
" He is leaving." He sounded helpless.
" Who?" she asked, surprised.
" Bhai Shakti. I don't understand ... what happened between them... is it my fault again, Ajabdeh?"
" No, it is not. Go and talk to him. I am sure you can stop him." Her words made him leave.
 
" Bhai Shakti." He called.
" No, Dadabhai, this is my problem with Daajiraj, don't get involved."
" Running away is not a solution, we can..."
" We can do nothing, Dadabhai; he will keep on being partial; he is spineless."
" Shakti!" Kunwar Pratap scolded.
" That's the truth, Dadabhai, he never loved or respected my Ranima, why should I respect him?" Kunwar Pratap was at a loss for words.
" I promise to come to you whenever you need me, Dadabhai, but not ..."
" Where will you stay?" A worrying question came.
" With me," Rawatji reassured. " As my son."
 
Ajabdeh walked into a sobbing Sajja Bai's room holding Amar's hand.
" My Shakti, where will he go..." She sobbed.
" Behna..." Jaivanta Bai consoled. Ajabdeh noticed Solankini standing in a corner, visibly scared. She walked up to the new bride with a reassuring smile.
" Kunwarsa is talking to him, I am sure he will convince...." Her words faded as Sajja smiled at the door.
" Kunwar Pratap! Tell me you convinced him." Kunwar Pratap looked helplessly at the sobbing mother, then at Ajabdeh, and replied,
" I'm sorry." Sajja Bai broke down as Kunwar Pratap moved back a few steps and walked out as Ajabdeh followed. Amar was about to follow her when Solankhini stopped him.
 
" Kunwar Pratap." She called out as he ran through the corridor to their room. He never felt this helpless; his brother, Shakti, was more than a sibling. No matter how much they fought, they were always a unit.
" What did he say?" Ajabdeh asked softly.
" Is this what people call family, Ajabdeh? So much hatred and misunderstanding. I don't want the throne, Ajabdeh; I want a family that would not be like this with me. I feel I am cursed."
" Kunwar Pratap! You are not cursed. You have me, you have Amar." he looked up at her face. " And Solankhini Behena," made him look away again. " Your family will not be like this, our family will never be..." He hugged Ajabdeh tightly. He needed the reassurance that things could be fine. He badly needed her trust.
 
A few months later...
A court session was being held in the wee hours of the night. The ladies sat worried in their rooms, waiting for news. Akbar's army was camped at a distance, visible from the fort. Kunwar Pratap stormed out mid-session, surprising the guards. The news reached a worried Jaivanta Bai. She had expected this; she was proud that her son was not like his father.
He walked into the room where Ajabde sat on the couch, reading the Gita while Solankhini was putting Amar to sleep.
" We ... are moving..." He spoke up angrily.
" Moving? Where?" Ajabde asked, shocked. Solankini always got up to leave, but he stopped her.
" Daajiraj is moving to Gogunda, but I wanted to stay back and fight, but I can't. They won't let me. But I feel morally wrong enjoying the safety at Udaipur, so I decided we will leave for Bhilwara and stay with the Bhils at Kelwara until I find a way."
" We are going with you," Ajabdeh reassured as Solankini nodded.
 
He bid adieu to his mother and the subjects of Chittor, teary-eyed as he promised to come back stronger. He remembered how he and Ajabde had vowed for their motherland; it was time their vows were tested. He promised to take Jaivanta Bai with him as soon as he got settled. Ajabde hugged Sajja Bai in tears. Rana Udai Singh lost another son for his ego, while Dheerbai rejoiced in her victory, one last time.
 
The Bhils welcomed them with open arms as they were given a hut in the village. Kunwar Pratap decided to live amongst them like a commoner. Rajkumari Pur Bai never stayed in a hut in a village. She was as excited as Amar was. She was amazed at how Ajabde mixed in every situation with ease, like she belonged there. She helped with the housework as much as she knew and could. She was thankful that Ajabde was tolerant towards her. The loyal generals of Mewar decided to help Kunwar Pratap, as he was the future. The Jhalas, Hada and Jhatis were in constant aid to them.

Three years hence, 
Chittorgarh had fallen. Yes, the dream was over. Kunwar Pratap was devastated; he remembered how much the people of Chittor loved him. Yet, when the time came, he was ordered to abandon them. They faced a massacre because of Udai Singh's lack of foresight. He could never forgive that. The more he thought of it, the more his angrier he grew over the Mughals. They had killed thirty thousand innocent civilians. What had they done?
Ajabdeh Punwar proved to be worthy of a Maharani. She handled her family in the tough times well. She hadn't pushed him towards Solankhini, Champa, Jasoda or Phool Bai, but instead reminded him to keep the responsibilities he could. Guilt worked wonders. But another guilt crept in to take its place. The guilt of hurting Ajabdeh time and again. He was restless, not at peace with himself, personally and patriotically. When the first princess was born to Solankini Bai in the Bhils village, Ajabdeh was happy to have a daughter, while Amar's happiness knew no bounds. It would be wrong to say he was not happy. Kunwar Pratap loved all his children equally, unlike his own father. He had sworn not to be another Udai Singh. He was only unhappy that he couldn't give the Princess the royal life. They were sacrificing too, unknowingly, for the motherland. He had brought his mother out of that hell. He was happy to do that at least. Ajabdeh was the last word in the house; he respected her decisions, and his wives loved her. She was the overprotective elder sister, hiding their mistakes from him. His bad moods were best understood and soothed by her.
 
The children played in the courtyard. Amar was being a protective brother to his three sisters. He watched them absent-mindedly. Ajabdeh was singing a lullaby to Chand Singh, son of Phool Kanwar. He looked up at her soothing voice as she smiled. She was in a simple lehenga and village jewellery, yet she looked so elegant that she reminded him time and again of his mother.
 
" Kunwar Pratap. " Her voice broke his thoughts. " Hold him, please."
" Where are the others?" He asked, surprised as she looked tired. She seemed to be doing everything herself.
" Everyone is preparing for Gangaur." She smiled.
" Ajabdeh, you remember our Gangaurs in Chittor....''His voice faded.
 
She looked away at the children playing. Then she held his hand, the one that was beneath Chand's sleeping body and said
" We will make new happy memories, Kunwar Pratap. Don't you worry!"
Her eyes shone with hope and trust.
 
Sometimes he thought that if it was not for her hope and trust, he would have quit the world. He thanked her for everything she did. She kept her promise and made his hut a home. She made his family a unit. Unlike the family he had witnessed here, Ajabdeh made sure the children were protected and cared for each other, and the mothers loved everyone equally. With Ajabdeh around, it was hard for anyone to pretend to care and love.
" Dhanyavad Ajabdeh." He spoke up.
" You remember what Maata Sita said when the Lord asked her why she wanted to accompany him?"
" Yes, I can never forget what we learnt together."He smiled.
" I will be his protection in the rain, his sunshine in the clouds, I will provide for him when hungry and be his balm in injuries...." She spoke like she remembered everything, like a vow.
" I will be his partner in good times and bad, that is my Dharma. I am not his queen if I stay back and enjoy the luxury while he suffers. I am ..."
" His wife." Kunwar Pratap completed her sentence as they looked at each other and smiled.