Love Struck

A new dawn was about to break in Mewar. Kunwar Pratap shifted in his bed as the lamp shone in the darkness. He was now facing her sleeping figure. Her hand rested on the pillow between them, the pillow he chose to keep there in the first place, but now it seemed like the symbol of the distance he wanted to bridge between their hearts. He stared at it, lost in thought. I promised myself to make you mine, but how? What if you... He stared at the sleeping figure, admitting in silence that no one, even the bravest enemy, scared him like her calm, composed self did. I am thinking like a typical husband. He smiled. What to do now, Ajabdeh? I am terrible with my words, unlike you. Pratap Singh! You need to learn a few things! He looked back at the ceiling in his thoughts. What if I drop hints? She knows me so well, maybe she will understand without me actually speaking for myself. The thoughts made his face light up. Yes, yes, that will be perfect. Let's try this. But... First things first... something needs to be done to this... 
Kunwar Pratap surely knew that actions speak louder than words. What he didn't know was how it could confuse his wife even more. He held her hand and pretended to be asleep.

Ajabdeh woke with the first light of dawn and stared at his pretend sleeping figure-looking content. She was about to get up when her eyes widened at her hand and then stared right at his face. I wish I could see the nervous face now. He thought with his eyes closed. Hey Eklingji. Ajabde's heart beat faster. She checked if she was feeling cold again. It was so humid that they didn't even need a blanket. Then why is he... She gulped. She slowly tried to pull her hand out as he tightened the grip. It's so hard not to laugh. Let's see what you do now, Kuwaraniji. She looked around. Now, what will I do? If I wake him? No No... 
CLANK! Kunwar Pratap jolted up by the noise, letting go of the hand, as she quickly shut her eyes, pretending to be sleeping. Then she slowly opened it and looked surprised by the Lota on the ground and him staring at it.
 
" Umm, what happened?" She asked with a tone of surprise. He stared at the Lota that had fallen from her bedside table and back at her.
" Your Lota, how did it fall?" He asked, scrutinising her face.
" My Lota?" She pretended to be thoughtful. " I was in a deep sleep. Maybe my hand fell on it by mistake." She was rubbing both hands together as she lied to him, looking away.
" How could your hand..." He stopped. Smart played Ajabdeh, really smart!
 
She was singing when he walked up behind her and folded his hands in front of the Lord.
" Today is very important." He spoke as she went about keeping his things in place and making the bed. " Today, Daajiraj will select the leader for the war against the Afghans if it happens, and I want to lead. I want to deal with Mehmood Shah personally." His words made her hands stop as she looked up.
" This is exactly why I think you shouldn't lead." Her words made him frown.
" You don't think I am capable?" He asked, a little disappointed.
" Kunwar Pratap, no one in Rajputana can deny your capability, but a leader should not have any personal grudges at the war; it's a war between Mewar and them, not you and him. Maybe, just maybe your anger can come in the way of...."
 
" Ajabdeh." He stopped her. " Nothing like that will happen, I promise."
She shrugged as if to say, If you say so not very convinced. He shook his head, regretting why he told her about dealing with Mehmood Shah personally, knowing very well that she was not wrong.
 
" Ohho!" His irritated look made her walk up to the dressing table. " Where  is my..."
" Brooch..." She picked it up from right in front of his eyes, where it was placed, as he smiled sheepishly. Then he decided to go a little ahead with his plan as he added, " Don't know, there is something strange today. That Lota fell down on its own." He stared at her as she looked away. " Then my brooch does not fit!"
" Can I ... help?" She was surprised that he readily agreed and sat down in front of the dressing table as she pinned it to his pagri. He stared at her, making her feel uncomfortable as he said, " Ajabdeh?"
" Ji?"
" Can you... Do my aarti? Like Ranima does on Daajiraj's important days?" His words made her look at him, a little speechless and shocked.
" Me?" She doubted if she had heard right,
" Yes, you, who else?" he said as she nodded at his smile.
She brought back a thaal and did his aarti and nazar uttaran as he kept staring at her. Keeping the things on the table, she was about to touch his feet when he stopped her, both his hands on her shoulder.
 
" Ranima does this too." She smiled. He shook his head, saying " Not you," as he removed his hands from her shoulder. He means I'm not supposed to do that much of a wife's duty? She thought. I can't let you do this until you accept me and all your rights. He thought as he nodded to leave.
He stopped at the door and turned back to see her wearing her jewellery and pulling her dupatta on her head. As she glared back at him, wondering why he was still there, he quickly replied, " The Dagger I forgot." And walked back to take it.
 
They stepped out together and were walking in opposite directions, he towards the Darbar and she towards Ranima's chambers, as both stopped and turned around. They were both happy and awkward to see the other do the same as they smiled and walked away from each other again. At the turn, they both looked back once again as he nodded and left.
 
" Can I come in, Ranima?"
" Ajabdeh! I was waiting for you." Jaivanta Bai smiled. " Here, help me with this stitching. I am making a chunri. And tell me about the trip also, how you caught the man?"
" Yes, Ajabdeh! I want to hear that too." Sajja Bai walked in with a smile as she began.
" ... I told him I trust Aarti Bai, but Kunwar P... Kunwarsa... didn't believe me." Jaivanta Bai and Sajja Bai exchanged smiling glances. " He spied on our conversation to make sure she was safe to be alone with. I was so sad about Aarti Bai Sa Ranima..." She was lost in her thoughts.
 " Ranima?" Kunwar Pratap interrupted the conversation, fully aware he would find both the ladies together.
" Ajabdeh was telling how you spied on her and that man's wife." Sajja Bai spoke up as he frowned.
" Are you here early in the morning to complain to Ranima about me?" He asked.
" No, I didn't..." A protest came.
" Really? What good words come from not trusting you and spying?"
" Umm... If you did that, I can't lie." She was ready with answers.
" You are twisting my reasons." He narrowed his eyes at her.
" No, I am not." She shook her head.
 
Jaivanta Bai and Sajja Bai stood witness to this as they smiled.
" Do you see that behna?" Jaivanta Bai was happy as she whispered.
" What Jija?" Sajja whispered back.
" They are fighting. You know what it means?"
" What? They are not getting along?" Sajja was confused.
"No, they are starting to behave like a couple." She smiled.
 
" Haan! Haan! Haan!" He was firm.
" Na Na na!" She was clear.
" All right, Kunwar Pratap." Jaivanta stopped them before it turned more serious. " Why are you here?"
" Ranima." He smiled happily. " Daajiraj said I can lead the troops."
 
" That is great news, congratulations, Kunwarsa." Sajja smiled.
" Unlike some people, he doesn't think I am incapable." He taunted as she looked up.
" Ranima, let me help you decorate the Puja Ghar." She walked away as he smiled. Jaivanta looked at the duo and followed Ajabde to the Puja Ghar as Kunwar Pratap walked out.
Sometimes he is so rude with his words, and sometimes he is so caring, that I fail to understand him. What does he think? What does he want? 
" Ajabde." Ranima's call startled her. " Kunwar Pratap is in the Dangal at this hour. Can you take the prasad to him?"
" Ji Ranima."
 
The guards stood away as he practised blindfolded. There were three dummies and a moving target placed before him, and they had two swords, one in each hand. He tried to listen to the movement of the object that was suspended from a pole before swinging his sword. What he heard was the sound of a known payal. In the last two days, he had noticed something he had never bothered to before. Every pair of Payal, or Kamar bandh, had a different sound. She was always soothing and soft like herself. Ranima's voice was a little louder. Majali Ma's Kamar Bandh and Payal together made a very different sound. He could feel the sound approach as he ordered, " Ekanth," and the guards walked away.
 
Ajabdeh entered the Dangal, unaware that even with the blindfold, he could feel her presence. She looked around to see if no one else was there, so she unveiled her face. He was swinging the swords in both hands and turning to the moving target. He never missed it every time he swung his swords. He looks so different once he is with a sword; he looks so determined and focused, but in the room, he can not find even the simplest of things. She stared, smiling at his moves, mesmerised. He could sense her watching him. Someone doubted my potential. Let me show her some potential. A smile curved his lips as he flaunted his best moves, making her gasp in awe. He heard it right; she just gasped in amazement. She realised she was standing there like a fool and would have no explanation for her position and expression if he suddenly opened the blindfold. She slowly tried to move away. Prasad can wait until later. He is busy. He frowned a little as the sound of her Payal began to fade. He quickly removed his blindfold and called " Ajabde." She stopped in her tracks, shocked. How does he know I am here? She turned around. He had by now kept his swords and walked up to her. He smiled at her, asking.
" You Here?" He asked with a smile as she turned.
" Haan... woh... I..." She fumbled, red.
" So you like it?"
" What?" She asked.
" The talwar baazi, whatever you see right now." Her eyes went wide. He knew I was standing here like a ...
" Umm... I need to go..."
" When you are free, you can come here and I can teach you some, like I did here." He smiled, hoping that she would sometimes accompany him to the Dangal.
" I... I don't think so..." It's better to stay away than get hurt all the time.
" Accha?" He frowned." Thik Hai... give what you came here for...."
" Ji? What I..." She looked up at his face, confused.
" Prasad." He reminded her, indicating with his eyes.
" Yes." I am being such a fool today. She handed it to him and hurried away as he watched her go. Someone does get affected by me. He smiled, remembering her red face.
 
" Today, Kuwaranisa and Jaivanta Jija cooked lunch." Sajja Bai declared to the Princes as Kunwar Pratap looked up at Ajabde, looking embarrassed.
" Bhabisa makes the best Ghewar, doesn't it, Dadabhai?" Shakti praised the food.
" No, Kheer." he bit his tongue for being loud as she looked at him, blushing.
" Chalo..." Jaivanta Bai stared at the duo, " Kunwar Pratap likes someone's Kheer more than mine!" Her tease made the princes laugh as Kunwar Pratap protested, " No... Ranima... I didn't mean...." Ajabdeh walked away murmuring, " I will bring the..."
 
After lunch, Ajabdeh was sitting absent-mindedly feeding the pigeons. He is praising me just as a formality, or does he really mean it? Did I offend him by my comment on ... oh, Ajabdeh, why did you need to give your opinion? Now he thinks you don't think he is capable...
" Ajabdeh." His voice startled her as he sat beside her.
" Kunwar Pratap? What are you..."
" You were not in the room, so I gathered you will be here... " He smiled.
" Umm... I was feeding the..."
" I can see."
" I wanted to tell you something, Kunwar Sa." She looked scared as his heart skipped a beat. Tell me something? Did she get the...
" Say." He calmed his racing heart.
" I... believe in your potential." What? Potential? What is she saying? " I didn't mean that you can't lead the army or anything."
" I know." She is thinking of that and not... Ajabdeh! Seemed more intelligent. He stared at her confused face. " I was just teasing you, I know you mean well." She smiled, relieved at him.
 
A giggle in the garden made them stare at one of the Princesses with her friends. The ladies were constantly eyeing Kunwar Pratap, which even Ajabde noticed. Usually, he was uncomfortable with these stares, but today they might help him get something out of her. He looked at Ajabde, eyeing them.
" I should go meet them." He pointed to getting up.
That surprised her as he usually ran away as soon as such guests came to the palace. She also got up and walked inside. He was walking towards the garden, and he turned back, hoping to see some jealousy, only to find that she was not there.
 
With a frown, he ran after her. He found her in the room, neatly folding his clothes. His appearance made her look up. Is he following me? No, No Ajabdeh! What are you dreaming of? 
" Why did you walk away?"
" I was done feeding." He felt stupid to ask that.
" Umm... Ohh. I was thinking of going to Kheri and checking once."
" That's a good idea, Meet Aarti Baisa and give her my regards." She was still folding the clothes as she spoke. He sat down on the couch, scrutinising her as he said
 " Yes, I am thinking of visiting Lolita too; she was so helpful when I asked about the villagers." Her hand stopped at the clothes, but she didn't look up.
" That is good, Kunwarsa, everyone in Kheri is your subject, so you must ask about their well-being." She walked inside to keep the clothes, once again failing in his attempts as he shook his head, clueless. He wants to ask about Lolita's health. That village is full of people, but her, of all the people?
 
Now, what do I do? How do I ... I praised her, I teased her, I tried to make her feel jealous.... doesn't she understand anything? Or is she ignoring me because... He was sitting in the garden alone and a little disappointed. Maybe she doesn't like me... how can she not? Everyone likes me. And she is my wife. No, no, she likes me. She is scared? Of what?

What is wrong with him, Lord?  She sat in her puja Ghar seeking some answers. Since the trip, he has been acting like... like a husband... is it all my imagination? Because I want to think that? A few good praises from him made me weak. I had made a vow. He had clearly said that he didn't want distractions. He is always a man of his word. He will never... Why do his actions now contradict his earlier words? Is it all in my mind?

" Baojiraj." Chakrapani broke his thoughts.
" Chakrapani." He was disturbed. " Tell me. Do I need to say everything I want to say?"
" Huh?" He looked confused.
" If one can understand what is in my mind, why not what's in my heart?"
" Baojiraj, I can not understand what is in your heart or mind or what you are saying." He looked up at his friend and said, " It's not for you. What do I do now?"
" What?" Chakrapani was clueless. " Are you talking about Bhabisa?"
" No, No. Nothing. Leave it. How is Parvati?" He changed the topic.
 
He walked into his room and saw her reading while she waited for him. He kept his pagri and urged her to continue. She was reading in silence as he came and sat in front of her, asking, " What is this?"
" Poems. On Siyaram and Radhe Shyam."
" Which story inspires you more?" He asked. " Siya Ram or Radha Krishn."
" Ram Sita. Because they were always with each other, no matter what. Even the distances didn't matter. Radha ... had one-sided love. It... Hurt her." She chose the words carefully.
" Krishna also loved her. He loved her beyond social barriers." He protested.
" So he did to many others. "

" They were not the same to him. He is still worshipped with her, isn't that proof enough?" He asked.
" I don't know, he never said he loved her. Radha's love made her weak and vulnerable. It hurt her." She was lost in her own disturbed thoughts. He felt like every word was directed at him.
" The pain of love itself makes you stronger, I feel. It helps you know how much a person matters. Some things are meant to be understood, not said aloud always." His words made her look into his eyes, as they twinkled, and her heart skipped a beat. What does he mean? Her eyes questioned. I mean what you are thinking, Ajabdeh. He smiled. No, no, that cannot be. She concluded.
He lay awake. Thinking, What's next? He looked at the pillow in between and gathered that he needed to do something about this first. Will that be enough for you, Ajabdeh? He stared at her sleeping figure. He turned his back on her as she opened her eyes. What does he mean? What does he want? Isn't it all too good to be true?