In Love??

Ajabdeh was bedridden over the next few weeks. She was too weak to sit up or do things on her own, and the medicine men insisted she needed complete rest to heal. Kunwar Pratap insisted on staying by her side, which Ajabdeh firmly refused. She did not want to cause a distraction from his work. That would break her vow, she said. Kunwar Pratap just smiled, knowing she was so adamant and that she could convince people with the right words. Ajabdeh was never bored, though. The Queens and Princesses constantly came to check on her and keep her company. All except Dheerbai, who only came once, when Ranaji visited her. Ajabdeh was getting better each day as the Vaid came to check on her and suggested it was time she could start leading a normal life again. Her wound still hurt a little, and sometimes she felt dizzy due to the weakness, but the Vaid said that too would go in two or three days. Ajabdeh was a fighter. Jaivanta Bai was proud when the Vaid said that Kunwaranisa had the strongest willpower he had ever seen.

 

Kunwar Pratap was busy with administrative work again. There was a village called Kheri on the Chittor Bijolia route that was facing some revolts against Udai Singh. Apparently, the Afghans had looted them thrice, and somehow, the news did not reach Chittorgarh. But the villagers were made to believe that Rana Udai Singh ignored their calls of woe, so they decided to revolt against the king. Udai Singh wanted to suppress the rebellions with force, but Rawat Chundawat disagreed.

" It will act as a catalyst to their belief, Ranaji, that you don't care. It's a delicate situation that should be handled calmly. Whoever is trying to create these issues will have to be suppressed smartly."

" I have a plan." Everyone stared at Kunwar Pratap.

 

Ajabdeh was being helped out of bed by the ladies-in-waiting. She put her feet on the ground and tried to get up by herself. The maid gave her support as she got up.

" Try to walk a little, Kunwaranisa." She was suggested.

" I... I can't." She felt her legs were weak, and she was too scared of falling.

" You can, the Vaidji said... Try, please." The ladies insisted.

Kunwar Pratap had stopped behind the large curtains of the main door, watching her try. Her face still winced a little as she took each step. He stood watching in worry. She was still not fully recovered. After three steps, she felt dizzy and lost her balance as the Daasi caught her.

" Ajabdeh!" He whispered her name, and almost like a reflex, he extended his hand towards her. She managed to balance herself when she felt as though someone called her name, and she looked up at the door. He hid from her view in time.

" Try again, Kunwaranisa." The ladies diverted her attention as he peeped in again, watching her walk.

 

Jaivanta Bai had silently witnessed her son's activities, sneaking around his own room. She had smiled and thought of walking away, but the moment he hid from Ajabdeh, her smile faded. She decided it was time he needed a lesson on expressing himself. She walked up to him and slowly called his name. " Pratap." His eyes widened as he looked embarrassed, caught in the act by Ranima.

"I..." He was still looking for a valid explanation for the awkward situation.

" Pratap." Jaivanta's voice was stern as he looked up. "Sometimes, expressing our care in words and actions is very essential. It doesn't reveal your weakness, but uproots the bases of misunderstanding and makes a relationship stronger." He nodded as she smiled and walked away. What did Ranima mean? Should I tell her I was scared of...Losing her? He walked away from his room.

 

" I heard you are going to Kheri in three days, Kunwar Pratap," Jaivanta spoke as he entered his room after dinner. He had gathered that she was here to see if Ajabdeh had her dinner, but this question made him look up at his mother.

" Yes... umm... in disguise..." He answered a little guiltily because he hadn't yet told either of the ladies present in the room.

 

" And when were you planning to tell us?" Jaivanta Bai frowned. As soon as I heard, I thought Ajab knew, but she too is clueless." He stared at Ajabdeh, who was also clearly disappointed.

" I ... I didn't want to worry you..." He said, looking straight at his wife and then turning to his mother, adding, "Both."

" So you are going alone?" Jaivanta Bai asked as he stared at her. She hoped he wanted Ajabdeh to go too, but he, being the way he was, nodded yes, much to her disappointment.

" Who will look after you there? You are not taking anyone." She almost tried to point out what he needed to say. Ajabdeh seemed lost in her own thoughts, rather worriedly.

" I will manage Ranima." Made Jaivanta Bai shake her head when he added, " You just take care of her here."

This made Ajabdeh look up, and this was what Maharani Jaivanta Bai needed.

" No, I can't take care of her. She is your responsibility, right?"

" Ranima?" He was shocked at what she said.

" What, Ranima? You are going there on your own, making us worry about you. You are leaving her here, and you will worry about her. Why don't you take her along that way? Your worries will be less, and so will mine. Because you two will be there to take care of each other." Jaivanta Bai's words made Ajabdeh look confused as she stared at Kunwar Pratap, hoping for a positive answer.

" Ranima, I'm going there under disguise. How can she..." He reasoned.

" Ajabdeh can be a great help. People can look at a single man with doubt if he suddenly starts living in the village, but a family man is an easier camouflage." Kunwar Pratap knew his mother had her answers ready until he was convinced.

" Do you want to go?" The question he asked was to his bride, who looked up wide-eyed and a little confused.

"Umm... whatever you say, Kunwarsa." She replied, looking away.

" I will arrange for your departure then." Ranima left smiling, ignoring Kunwar Pratap's "But.. Ranima.. listen..."

 

She stared at him and then back towards the door before she got up to make the bed.

" What are you doing?" He frowned.

" Making the bed." She seemed confused by his question.

" Let me do that, you go and have your medications." He shook his head.

" Ranima gave them... umm... Kunwarsa, can I ask something?" She stopped on the edge of the bed.

" Yes." He turned to face her.

" What is wrong in Kheri?" He smiled happily to know that she wanted to really contribute to the mission as he sat to tell her the details.

 

Preparations were made in the next few days. Kunwar Pratap's friend Veni Das had a house in the village. They would go there, saying he was looking for a job, so they took the place on rent. They were from Bijolia. The palanquin and procession left them at the outskirts of Chittorgarh. Now all they had was a bundle of clothes, his weapons hidden in a carrier and Sarang. Kunwar Pratap wore a simple orange angrakha and a yellow pagri, while Ajabdeh wore a simple green lehenga with silver jewellery. Only her golden bangles, gifted by Ranima, did she refuse to part with. In the simple attire, she looked so elegant and dignified. Kunwar Pratap was sure that it would be very difficult to be in disguise. She was holding her Kanha, which she brought along for the house.

" You .... Ride Sarang, I will walk. You are weak." He said. She had her face hidden with the dupatta as she asked softly, " How far is Kheri?"

" An hour's walk."

" So if we both ride Sarang..." She stopped. What am I saying? Why will he ride with me? She had no clue how he had taken her from the forest to the fort.

" We will reach it in half the time." He added to her thoughts.

 

" If you want to..." they spoke in unison as eyes met, and he nodded before getting up on Sarang. He thought she needed help, but she didn't as she sat in front of him.

" You also know how to ride a horse?" His voice had a hint of surprise.

" That's part of learning warfare, isn't it?" She smiled.

 

"So we need to have names, right?" She asked as they rode. More than once, his chest had brushed against her back as he carefully avoided hurting her wound as he held both the reins around her. She sat there with her hands on the reins as well, carefully away from him.

" Yes, names... Do you have any suggestions?" He asked.

" Me?" She asked, surprised.

" Yes, you read so much, so come up with an apt name, Ajabdeh." He gave her a challenge she silently accepted.

" Umm... Pinaki, the one with the bow!" She impressed him clearly as he smiled.

" Read your Puranas well. " He praised, adding, " Yours?"

" Aparna!"

" What does it mean?"

" Umm... Someone who fasts."

"Wasn't it her name when Uma fasted in the Himalayas?" He asked as she nodded. "Suits you." He teased as she ignored him.

" We are here!"

 

They were in the small hut, which had three rooms, a kitchen, a small area in the front with the Tulsi Manch and a stable at the back. He led Sarang to the stable while she looked around the well-stocked house. She decided to use the extra room for her Kanha ji as she sat cleaning the room. Her cough made him frown and walk up to her as she sat there coughing in the dirt.

" Get up, let me clean it."

" It's all right, Kunwarsa." She insisted.

" Get up and stop calling me Kunwarsa here." He sounded alarmed.

" Even in the house?" She asked, surprised.

" Yes, someone might be spying." He sat down to clean as she brought the Lord.

 

Together, they picked up flowers from the backyard and decorated the Puja Ghar with incense and lamps. He followed her instructions on what to keep, because he didn't want her to overstress herself. By evening, the place was well decorated and fit for living. Ajabdeh decided to cook an early dinner, as in their haste to decorate the place, they had skipped lunch. He was out to mix with some villagers who would actually help the mission when he came back in, looking for her as she was looking at the kitchen.

" There is this very nice temple across the river from here. The people were saying." He smiled at her.

" A temple?"

" Yes, do you want to go?" He asked.

" I ... But ... I am supposed to make dinner now, we skipped lunch and ..."

" Let's go, Ajabdeh, we will eat something on the way, and then we can come back for dinner." She agreed.

 

The boats ferried people across the river. Ajabdeh, in her own warm nature, had befriended an elderly man and his wife.

" I am Parvat Das, and this is my wife Aarti Bai. We are locals, but we haven't seen you around."

"I am here from Bijolia." She smiled.

" What's your name?" The wife asked.

" I am..." Ajabde fumbled, not used to lying. " Aparna."

" I am her husband, Pinaki Singh Shekhawat." Pratap quickly added to divert their attention from her hesitance.

" Wah Shiv Parvati!" The old lady exclaimed.

" Ji?" They asked in confusion.

" Your name. Of Lord Shiva and Mata Parvati." The old man smiled.

" They are made for each other." The lady concluded at Ajabdeh, and Pratap looked away.

 

At the other end of the bank, the magnificent white marble temple stood tall. They got down and went inside. A priest sat in a corner saying, " Buy this Dhaga from any four gates of the temple, then tie it to the Banyan tree in the backyard, and your partner will be yours for every life on earth."

" This is a very famous place for this Dhaaga." The old lady informed Ajabdeh as she urged her husband to buy her a Dhaaga. Ajabdeh smiled at the old couple, so much in love. She walked up the stairs, unaware that Kunwar Pratap had stopped at the gates. She prayed to the lord and turned to see that he was walking up the stairs.

" I was looking for you." She said as he smiled, " I was watching something."

" What?"

" Nothing." She gathered it was something to do with the mission.

 

Kunwar Pratap was talking to a man when she sneaked to the back gates to buy a Dhaaga. She was looking for the Banyan tree when she found it and tied the Dhaaga to the branch, taking his name in silence. People lived with the hope that they were not going to die so soon. It's been only three months; they had a lifetime. She was asked for directions by an elderly lady whom she escorted to the side gate, and when she walked up to the front, Kunwar Pratap was not there. She looked around and went back to the back as her heart skipped a beat. He was in the Banyan tree area. Did he tie a Dhaaga too? No No! That can't be. Why is he there? He turned around and spotted her looking at him wide-eyed.

" I was looking for you."

" So was I", she replied, unsure if she should be asking what he was doing there.

" Let's go back." He said in a hurry. On the way, knowing she was hungry, he bought Jalebi and handed it to her to eat on the boat ride, although he ate most of it, unknowingly.

 

The bank was a little steep and away from where the boat was stopped. Every man was helping their wives up on the steep bank as Kunwar Pratap thought What should I do? When he got up on the bank, he looked back at her reluctantly. Ajabdeh expected him to give his hand, as she had surely felt him hold her hand before she became unconscious that day. He looked reluctant as the woman behind Ajabdeh commented, " These two look newlywed," and giggled at her husband. Ajabdeh stretched her left hand towards Kunwar Pratap, surprising him. He took it with his right hand and pulled her up. She winced a little as he feared her wound would hurt.

" Are you all right?"

" I am." She nodded, smiling at his worried face. They realised their hands were still in each other's as they let go, looking away. She followed him to the house slowly, her eyes on his shoes, as unknowingly her left foot left a synced imprint on the soil with his right one.

 

Later in the day, Kunwar Pratap was busy checking the surroundings for clues if someone was spying on them or had the chance to. His eyes stopped as a few feet away from his hut, Ajabdeh had befriended some children and was playing marbles with them and smiling at their innocence. He stopped in his tracks, watching as she smiled and talked to them. A smile unknowingly curved her lips as he stood there watching how happy she was with the children. She seems happy; maybe she misses her siblings. He stared at her, his eyes following her everywhere as she played with the children.

 

Ajabdeh was ready to cook a simple meal. It's been days since she cooked, and she was a little nervous, as everywhere, be it Bijolia or Chittor, the Daasis helped her and the mothers supervised. Today, she was alone, cooking a meal for him. She was ready to cut the vegetables when Kunwar Pratap came in. He decided he should help her with the cooking since she was unwell. He sat down as she protested.

" Kunwarsa! What are you doing?"

" I... am helping you cut the vegetables." He replied, holding a kitchen knife like a dagger, as she couldn't help her laughter.

" War Daggers and Kitchen Knives are different, Kunwarsa! These are vegetables, not your enemies." She managed to smile as he looked at her seriously. Her face changed from amusement to fear as she fumbled "Shama kijiye," which made him smile.

" Ajabdeh, I reminded you this morning not to call me Kunwarsa."

"Should I call you Pinaki?" She asked, expecting a nod.

"Call me Pratap." She looked up in shock as he thought if he had said something wrong.

" I ... I can not call you by the name Kun..." She stopped.

" Why can't you?" He frowned. " If I can call you by name, why can't you?" He was following her around as she cut the vegetables and put them to fry.

" I can't. Why are you..."

" Aree... We are friends, aren't we?" His question suddenly made the empty feelings creep back into Ajabdeh's heart as she shook them off, saying, " I should check the Dal," and moved away. Kunwar Pratap realised that he had upset her. He shook his head, disappointed with his choice of words.

 

She was standing tiptoe to get the wheat box as he walked up behind her, saying, "But you said Kunwar Pratap!" pointing his finger like he had caught a thief.  She was so startled that she leapt, and the box tilted, and her head, her hair and her clothes were filled with wheat.

" Ahahahahaha!" His laughter was the most informal one she had seen. She stared at him as he continued.

" You called me when they caught you."

" I called you because... because I needed you to know it's me." She looked away, brushing the wheat off her hair.

" You think you need to call my name for me to know it's you? Isn't your voice enough?" That made her stare right into his eyes as they twinkled and smiled at her. Her round, wide eyes looked adorable as she looked shocked. Some more wheat fell on her head from the half-tilted box above, breaking the moment and making him laugh some more.

" Kunwar Pratap!" She was irritated with his childishness that was coming in the way of her cooking the meal. As soon as she spoke, she realised it and looked embarrassed as he looked pleased.

" Ajab...."

" I... I am... going to clean the wheat off me." She ran away as he smiled.

 

It was raining heavily as he put down his letter and looked out of the window. He then walked to the main porch and found Ajabdeh standing there, looking up at the rain on the porch. Her hair was open, and the dupatta over her head blew in the stormy wind. He stared at her, absent-mindedly looking away at the rain. He followed her glance to the road, where a couple was enjoying the rain. Although Ajabdeh smiled at the couple in love, her eyes spoke of a longing that once again made him feel guilty. He walked away inside and spotted the Ramayana in the Puja Room.

" Ajabdeh!" He called out as she replied, " Ji?"

" Come, let's read."

She read aloud as he smiled happily. He felt it had been years since he had heard her read the epic.

" Sita said, Like the Veena is without its strings, like the chariot is without its wheel, I am without him." She was reading aloud as he stared at her, and it made her feel nervous under his stare.

" ....Ram said with care comes a sense of understanding. With care comes love." The sentence caught his attention and made his heart skip a beat.

 

He was unusually quiet at dinner and while she was preparing the bed. She felt he might be preoccupied with his mission.

" How was the food?" She asked as he was staring out of the window at the rain.

" Accha." He ended the conversation as she prayed and went to sleep without disturbing him.

 

She didn't know how disturbed he was inside, and that had nothing to do with the mission. With care comes love. The sentence played in his mind again and again. He stared at her sleeping figure as she shivered a little, and he pulled the blanket over her, watching her sleep peacefully. He is Lord Ram, he is never wrong, she said to him all the time. He went back to the window and stared out, thinking about the hell he had been through when she was fighting for her life.

" I care." He said to himself, aloud, without a doubt. " But am I...." He looked at the sleeping figure on his bed again. In love?? He feared to say that out loud, to himself even, as of yet.