Turmoil of Her Heart

“I’d be smart to walk away, but you’re quicksand.” - Treacherous.

“You think I didn’t know already?” Shakti’s words startled Ajabdeh. They were sitting with their feet dangling in the pool in the common lawn area between the mansions of the Punwars and Sisodiyas, and he was gorging on the carrot cake when she gathered all her courage and brought up the topic. Ajabdeh thought he was bluffing, but then Shakti proceeded, amused, to tell her all the telltale signs of her apparent crush on his brother, and Ajabdeh was left embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, I am not telling him, but I fear Varun will when he gets back.” Ajabdeh nodded with a sigh as he continued. “Isn’t it better if he hears it from you first?” Shakti’s suggestion made her heart skip a beat. Had he lost his mind? She discarded his suggestions. She could never imagine walking up to Pratap and saying she had a crush on him. It sounded so silly even in her head. And what was the point? He would probably laugh it off or be angry with her. 

“You know what’s funny!” Shakti suddenly broke her chain of thought, “Someday, when Dad steps down, you will be the CEO, and he will be the MD of the company, and you can boss him around!” Shakti’s eyes sparkled. “Oh, we will get back at him for all the childhood bullying!” Ajabdeh frowned at Shakti’s revenge plan, slightly giving him a disapproving glance. “What?” He shrugged, “Have you forgotten how he locked us up in that storeroom in the farmhouse?”

“It was because we hid his camera first.” Ajabdeh shook her head.

“Oh, are we now on his side?” Shakti shook his head. “Is that what is happening?”

“Nothing of that sort is happening, Shakti.” Ajabdeh suddenly got up, splashing water around Shakti with her feet, and started walking away. “It is a crush and crushes go away as soon as you see the person is flawed.”

“And where have you heard this ridiculous idea?” Shakti taunted her.

“I read it in a book!” Ajabdeh squinted her eyes, sparing him one last glance before striding off towards home.

“What if he is not just a crush?” Shakti’s question stopped her in her tracks. “I mean, you have known him all your life and… maybe you like him even after seeing his flaws. Doesn’t that make it…” Love? 

“Stop screwing with my already screwed-up head, Shakti! We are not discussing this. We are fourteen, and Maasa says we should only think of our careers.” Shakti shrugged at her words with a smile, “That wasn’t the answer to my question.”

“I give up. This was a bad idea.” Ajabdeh was overly defensive as she almost ran out of his sight towards home. “You will never understand!”

Ajabdeh spent most of the night contemplating what Shakti had said. Maybe he was right about Pratap hearing it from her first. But what would she say? What about, she admitted she felt something, and it was in the past now… what if she made up the fact that she had another one or several other crushes like those girls in school? But… she stopped looking at her reflection in the mirror. This was Pratap. She couldn’t fool him with a lie. He had known her all her life to say that she was lying. She shook her head. There had to be something else she could do. Who should she even talk about it with? Her phone pinged, and it was Shakti. Much to her horror, he informed her that Pratap was calling his friends over the next day, and Varun’s brother was one of them. Ajabdeh’s hands were cold as she sat down on her bed. Well, sooner or later, this would happen. She gathered that she needed to tell him before he heard it from anyone else. Be it even half the truth of the reality she felt.

Pratap never invited his friends to his home, and now that the term exams were over and a lot needed to be done for the school fest, he found it best to gather the members of the fest at his house after school. Much to his annoyance, at the breakfast table, he found his mother telling Shakti to call his friends over as well.

“What would they do? Maasa, we are going to work on something important. They will disrupt us…”

“So, your thing is important and calling my friends over isn’t?” Shakti retorted, “We aren’t kids who are interested in what you are up to. I want to call my friends too!”

“But if anyone even dares to disturb us, I will throw them out,” Pratap warned.

“Oh, how can you? This is my home too, so they are welcome here, as are your friends.” Shakti retorted.

“And who are these friends? You only have one!”

“I do NOT! I have a lot of friends,” he lied.

“Enough!” Udai Singh scolded his sons, “Don’t start this at the breakfast table. Maasa is right. If Pratap’s friends come over, so can Shakti’s. And you can decide where you stay so that the others don’t disturb you.”

“I will take the roof!” Pratap spoke in a hurry.

“I will take your room!” Shakti was quick to follow.

“Why my room? Take yours.” Pratap frowned.

“Because mine is smaller. I will have lots of friends over!” Shakti spoke as Pratap shook his head, “Of course, you will,” he said sarcastically, making Shakti complain again.

“Maasa, scold him.”

“Pratap!” Jaivanta looked at her firstborn sternly, “Stop bullying your brother. So, what if he has one friend? Our Ajabdeh is better than having plenty.” She stopped at Pratap’s displeased face as Shakti flashed a smile.

“I am not giving him my room.”

“Shakti would take the gaming room, is that not nice?” Udai suggested as Shakti nodded reluctantly. “It even looks over the pool.”

“Now that it is done, give me the names of your friends so I can arrange snacks and lunch.” Jaivanta reached a truce. “And inform their parents.”