Most of you have read this collaboration between me and Kamya on her India Forum account. If not, here we are. A major throwback to 2015 with a collaboration with Kamya Singh.
The raindrops were making patterns on the glass of the window pane. She sat on the windowsill, looking out of her 17th-floor apartment at the sky brewing up a storm. A storm brewed inside her, too. It's been two years. Two years after that day, she felt like the happiest girl in the world. He had overcome his shyness to express his feelings to her. For the first time, thinking of that, it was the last time as well. He never liked to be expressive. She heaved a sigh. It was her day, their day; she wanted to be with him, to go out and see him. But like he said, " We can not tell anyone about this Ajab. About us."
"But why, Pratap? Am sick and tired of hiding what I feel. We are not wrong! But you make me feel we are!"
"Ajab! Your father is my Dad's employee; you are mine! According to company policies, I can't date you! You may lose the job, and so can Ram Uncle!"
Truth be said, Ajabde never cared for the job or her career. He always came before everything else for her. But today she doubted what he felt.
That faithful day, she entered the Sisodia's Office and was directed to a chamber, where she knew her life would change. The Owner's son was a trainee and now a PR too, her father had said. She was about to knock when he opened the door, and their eyes met. Her almost-shaped eyes, lined with Kohl, always grabbed his attention.
Pratap shifted uneasily in his chamber. Ajab had taken the day off. Without notice. Without her help, he seemed completely lost in his papers and files. She was always there to arrange his things.
Yes, he remembered the day. He wouldn't forget it till his last breath. She was his first love. Never had a girl made him smile at her silly jokes and childish simplicity like she had. No one knew his unexpressed feelings and thoughts better. He was never good with words and actions. He expected her to understand that. He expected her to know him. He closed a file and looked out at the pouring rain.
"All I want is a little proof that he cares, he can show as a friend if not more." Ajab was thinking aloud. She was hiding this relationship from her closest people, her friends, and her family, and playing with their trust for his sake.
Pratap smiled at the photo on his desk. That success party for the tender they got for Ram Uncle. Although his father's employee, he was always like a family friend since childhood. He wondered why they had never met before. In the frame, he stood beside a pretty Ajab in a gown, with all his employees, friends and their families. That twinkle in her eyes. That happy face, he couldn't take his eyes off it the whole evening. That twinkle was not there anymore. He had made her unhappy. Guilt made him feel claustrophobic in his chambers.
Ajab felt like a bird trapped in a cage of social norms, rules and duties. Her heart desired to fly free at times. His love had tied her down. Was this the life she wanted?
She had once told him, "You know I'm in my 20s and soon my parents will start looking for a groom."
They were friends then, he had laughed and made a joke, even when his eyes said he feared losing her. His fear had made him come and confess, maybe. She was taken aback as a lone teardrop fell from her eyes. Today, two years hence, he had always said he was hers forever, but never talked of tying the knot. She sensed he feared his father's rejection and hers... She had led herself to believe one day, someday, he would hold her hand and say,
" Ajab, let's fight for love together!"
She waited so long for that day. Not anymore. Her heart wanted answers.
She dialled the number. It was not saved on either of their phones. He was startled at the ring. The number flashed on his screen. He had a lot of questions as well. But he couldn't pick up the call, because he was in a Meeting. He decided to call her later. But he was so lost in his work that he forgot to call her altogether. Ajabde expected a text on the second anniversary, but there was none. Not because he was busy, but because he didn't like to express these things openly. She was ok with it, she was ok with all the circumstances he kept in front of her. But today she was frustrated, she was angry. She wanted to be with him. Wanted to scream ... Why so many restrictions in their relationship? She was suffocated. She wiped her tears and decided to meet him the next morning.
She entered the office, greeted everyone, kept her files in her cabin and headed towards Pratap's cabin holding a file in her hand, so that she could talk with her, making the excuse of file work. She knocked on her cabin and he said ''Come in."
She went inside and saw him staring at some papers on his desk. He spoke without looking up as soon as she closed the door behind her. ''You should not be here in my cabin so early, Ajabde. What will the others think? Gossip is already there that I favour you. Go back to your cabin and do your work. I will talk to you later."
But she was standing there, staring at him with so many questions in her eyes and tears.
'Can I get your precious five minutes, Sir?" Her formal voice made him look up worried. She wiped away the tears quickly.
'Are you all right?''
" No, I'm not!"
"Are you ill?" He frowned, his worried eyes met her teary ones.
" No, Pratap, or should I say yes. Am just tired, drained, and frustrated."
" Listen, we are in the office right now. We can ..."
" I know where we are! I waited too long, Pratap. I can't do this anymore." She sobbed, making him turn pale. His Ajab was strong. She never cried.
" Wha... Why are you..."
" You heard me, I don't have the strength. Two years have passed, and we are like this, Pratap, and it seems like you want to stay like this forever. Talking formally in front of people. Not meeting alone. Not even saving each other's numbers. You want this to continue for how long? Till we get married to other people?"
" You know I am serious."
" I don't, Pratap, I really doubt it now. Look at you, we are alone in your chambers and yet you are being formal!"
He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. She was right. He couldn't help being extra conscious all the time.
"You know I am serious and I want this, it's just that..."
"Just what?"
"I am helpless." He had no strength to fight her words; he knew she was hurt, angry and right!
"I'm done being tied down! Love sets you free, Pratap; it gives you freedom and happiness. I'm dying inside each day, I see how girls see you as a potential groom, and I keep mum, I see Udai Uncle talk of marriage alliances, and I don't see you look me in the eyes to say you won't do it."
"Ajabde!" His stern voice interrupted her.
"No Pratap No! You cannot do this. You have to choose. Things can't go on like this."
"Give me some time. Please." He begged her, controlling his tears. He couldn't lose her, but he couldn't face his father all of a sudden with this, too.
"No, Pratap. I gave you two years, not any more. I loved you, and I always will. You said not to tell this to anyone. I agreed. I didn't tell this even to my Mother. I hide it from my friends, my closest friends, with whom I used to share my feelings. You told me to be formal with you in front of all. I did the same. You kept your conditions, and I agreed to everything. But sometimes, Pratap, I need that love, affection and care from you. Yesterday I called you; you didn't pick up the call, nor did you wish me. What the hell is happening, Pratap.''
'Enough!!!! Enough Ajabde. You think you are trapped. You think you are not free. Fine! I free you from this. You are free to leave me.''
She looked at him with shock in her eyes. ''What? Say it again.''
She wiped her tears and smiled sarcastically, 'Thank you! For this. Thank you for everything. I won't say a word against you ever. As usual, I will agree with whatever you just said. I am going. But I will never forget us, Pratap. Have a nice life.''
Before Pratap could speak, she left the cabin, a fake smile on her face for the world outside.
"Ajabde, I... I..." He could sense her disconnect from the other end. Angry at himself, he banged his hand on the table. He could not have lost her. This was just a nightmare he hoped would be over soon.
A resignation arrived at his desk a few days later. Her handwriting. He brushed his hand over it. His face was pale from all the tears and sleepless nights. Ajab was in her room, looking out at the gloomy sky. A downpour was coming. She wished to drench her heart and tears in it. Two people, two hearts, one soul... and a thousand man-made barriers.
And they stopped talking to each other :)
The raindrops were making patterns on the glass of the window pane. She sat on the windowsill, looking out of her 17th-floor apartment at the sky brewing up a storm. A storm brewed inside her, too. It's been two years. Two years after that day, she felt like the happiest girl in the world. He had overcome his shyness to express his feelings to her. For the first time, thinking of that, it was the last time as well. He never liked to be expressive. She heaved a sigh. It was her day, their day; she wanted to be with him, to go out and see him. But like he said, " We can not tell anyone about this Ajab. About us."
"But why, Pratap? Am sick and tired of hiding what I feel. We are not wrong! But you make me feel we are!"
"Ajab! Your father is my Dad's employee; you are mine! According to company policies, I can't date you! You may lose the job, and so can Ram Uncle!"
Truth be said, Ajabde never cared for the job or her career. He always came before everything else for her. But today she doubted what he felt.
That faithful day, she entered the Sisodia's Office and was directed to a chamber, where she knew her life would change. The Owner's son was a trainee and now a PR too, her father had said. She was about to knock when he opened the door, and their eyes met. Her almost-shaped eyes, lined with Kohl, always grabbed his attention.
Pratap shifted uneasily in his chamber. Ajab had taken the day off. Without notice. Without her help, he seemed completely lost in his papers and files. She was always there to arrange his things.
Yes, he remembered the day. He wouldn't forget it till his last breath. She was his first love. Never had a girl made him smile at her silly jokes and childish simplicity like she had. No one knew his unexpressed feelings and thoughts better. He was never good with words and actions. He expected her to understand that. He expected her to know him. He closed a file and looked out at the pouring rain.
"All I want is a little proof that he cares, he can show as a friend if not more." Ajab was thinking aloud. She was hiding this relationship from her closest people, her friends, and her family, and playing with their trust for his sake.
Pratap smiled at the photo on his desk. That success party for the tender they got for Ram Uncle. Although his father's employee, he was always like a family friend since childhood. He wondered why they had never met before. In the frame, he stood beside a pretty Ajab in a gown, with all his employees, friends and their families. That twinkle in her eyes. That happy face, he couldn't take his eyes off it the whole evening. That twinkle was not there anymore. He had made her unhappy. Guilt made him feel claustrophobic in his chambers.
Ajab felt like a bird trapped in a cage of social norms, rules and duties. Her heart desired to fly free at times. His love had tied her down. Was this the life she wanted?
She had once told him, "You know I'm in my 20s and soon my parents will start looking for a groom."
They were friends then, he had laughed and made a joke, even when his eyes said he feared losing her. His fear had made him come and confess, maybe. She was taken aback as a lone teardrop fell from her eyes. Today, two years hence, he had always said he was hers forever, but never talked of tying the knot. She sensed he feared his father's rejection and hers... She had led herself to believe one day, someday, he would hold her hand and say,
" Ajab, let's fight for love together!"
She waited so long for that day. Not anymore. Her heart wanted answers.
She dialled the number. It was not saved on either of their phones. He was startled at the ring. The number flashed on his screen. He had a lot of questions as well. But he couldn't pick up the call, because he was in a Meeting. He decided to call her later. But he was so lost in his work that he forgot to call her altogether. Ajabde expected a text on the second anniversary, but there was none. Not because he was busy, but because he didn't like to express these things openly. She was ok with it, she was ok with all the circumstances he kept in front of her. But today she was frustrated, she was angry. She wanted to be with him. Wanted to scream ... Why so many restrictions in their relationship? She was suffocated. She wiped her tears and decided to meet him the next morning.
She entered the office, greeted everyone, kept her files in her cabin and headed towards Pratap's cabin holding a file in her hand, so that she could talk with her, making the excuse of file work. She knocked on her cabin and he said ''Come in."
She went inside and saw him staring at some papers on his desk. He spoke without looking up as soon as she closed the door behind her. ''You should not be here in my cabin so early, Ajabde. What will the others think? Gossip is already there that I favour you. Go back to your cabin and do your work. I will talk to you later."
But she was standing there, staring at him with so many questions in her eyes and tears.
'Can I get your precious five minutes, Sir?" Her formal voice made him look up worried. She wiped away the tears quickly.
'Are you all right?''
" No, I'm not!"
"Are you ill?" He frowned, his worried eyes met her teary ones.
" No, Pratap, or should I say yes. Am just tired, drained, and frustrated."
" Listen, we are in the office right now. We can ..."
" I know where we are! I waited too long, Pratap. I can't do this anymore." She sobbed, making him turn pale. His Ajab was strong. She never cried.
" Wha... Why are you..."
" You heard me, I don't have the strength. Two years have passed, and we are like this, Pratap, and it seems like you want to stay like this forever. Talking formally in front of people. Not meeting alone. Not even saving each other's numbers. You want this to continue for how long? Till we get married to other people?"
" You know I am serious."
" I don't, Pratap, I really doubt it now. Look at you, we are alone in your chambers and yet you are being formal!"
He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. She was right. He couldn't help being extra conscious all the time.
"You know I am serious and I want this, it's just that..."
"Just what?"
"I am helpless." He had no strength to fight her words; he knew she was hurt, angry and right!
"I'm done being tied down! Love sets you free, Pratap; it gives you freedom and happiness. I'm dying inside each day, I see how girls see you as a potential groom, and I keep mum, I see Udai Uncle talk of marriage alliances, and I don't see you look me in the eyes to say you won't do it."
"Ajabde!" His stern voice interrupted her.
"No Pratap No! You cannot do this. You have to choose. Things can't go on like this."
"Give me some time. Please." He begged her, controlling his tears. He couldn't lose her, but he couldn't face his father all of a sudden with this, too.
"No, Pratap. I gave you two years, not any more. I loved you, and I always will. You said not to tell this to anyone. I agreed. I didn't tell this even to my Mother. I hide it from my friends, my closest friends, with whom I used to share my feelings. You told me to be formal with you in front of all. I did the same. You kept your conditions, and I agreed to everything. But sometimes, Pratap, I need that love, affection and care from you. Yesterday I called you; you didn't pick up the call, nor did you wish me. What the hell is happening, Pratap.''
'Enough!!!! Enough Ajabde. You think you are trapped. You think you are not free. Fine! I free you from this. You are free to leave me.''
She looked at him with shock in her eyes. ''What? Say it again.''
She wiped her tears and smiled sarcastically, 'Thank you! For this. Thank you for everything. I won't say a word against you ever. As usual, I will agree with whatever you just said. I am going. But I will never forget us, Pratap. Have a nice life.''
Before Pratap could speak, she left the cabin, a fake smile on her face for the world outside.
"Ajabde, I... I..." He could sense her disconnect from the other end. Angry at himself, he banged his hand on the table. He could not have lost her. This was just a nightmare he hoped would be over soon.
A resignation arrived at his desk a few days later. Her handwriting. He brushed his hand over it. His face was pale from all the tears and sleepless nights. Ajab was in her room, looking out at the gloomy sky. A downpour was coming. She wished to drench her heart and tears in it. Two people, two hearts, one soul... and a thousand man-made barriers.
And they stopped talking to each other :)
