Agra, Rainy Season, 1611
Ladli Begum sat up alert, keeping aside her painting brushes as Hoshiyar Khan announced the arrival of Empress Nur Mahal. She stood up, brushing her colour-stained dress a little, noticing Hoshiyar Khan’s glance at her. Nur Mahal arrived at Ladli Begum’s well-lit chamber, visibly smaller than the others in the quarter but enough for her. Nur Mahal smiled as she bowed. With a wave of her hand, she dismissed Hoshiyar Khan and her handmaids, as well as those of Ladli’s and sat down on the bed, dragging Ladli by her hand on it.
“I had written to you but you didn’t answer any of my letters.” Nur Mahal put her hand on her daughter’s ruffled hair as she shook her hand off and stood up.
“Pardon me, Nur Mahal Begum, will I be punished?” Ladli’s voice made Nur Mahal feel a lump in her throat. Clearing it away she said, “Ladli, I am still your Amma, you can call me....”
“I have been taught to address royals by their titles in my grooming classes.” She said plainly.
“But you are my daughter. You are...”
“Not a royal. I know.” Ladli nodded “Is there something you need from me?” She stared at her half-done painting “I am in the middle of something.”
“Why are you...” Nur Mahal sounded hurt.
“Me?” Ladli let out a sarcastic laugh. “Do you even have an idea what happened to me here while you were away enjoying your life with your husband?”
“Ladli Begum! Watch your tone, Lady.” Nur Mahal clenched her jaws. “You are talking of the Padshah. Your father would have never approved of this behaviour.”
“Would he approve of yours?” Ladli Begum looked up at her mother, her eyes moist “He killed my father!”
“No, he did not!” Nur Mahal shook her head. “You think your mother is that lowly to...”
“Oh no. No no no.” Ladli Begum shook her head “My mother is so beautiful and intelligent. She knows how to get her way. And she is training me well, they say.”
“Who said that?” Nur Mahal fumed. “Who told you all this? Give me names and I'll see to it that...”
“Everyone! Everyone says so. How many will you stop? Please leave me alone.” Ladli Begum walked out of her room leaving Nur Mahal baffled while Rukaiya Begum, sitting in the courtyard, watched her go.
“Pardon me, Nur Mahal Begum, will I be punished?” Ladli’s voice made Nur Mahal feel a lump in her throat. Clearing it away she said, “Ladli, I am still your Amma, you can call me....”
“I have been taught to address royals by their titles in my grooming classes.” She said plainly.
“But you are my daughter. You are...”
“Not a royal. I know.” Ladli nodded “Is there something you need from me?” She stared at her half-done painting “I am in the middle of something.”
“Why are you...” Nur Mahal sounded hurt.
“Me?” Ladli let out a sarcastic laugh. “Do you even have an idea what happened to me here while you were away enjoying your life with your husband?”
“Ladli Begum! Watch your tone, Lady.” Nur Mahal clenched her jaws. “You are talking of the Padshah. Your father would have never approved of this behaviour.”
“Would he approve of yours?” Ladli Begum looked up at her mother, her eyes moist “He killed my father!”
“No, he did not!” Nur Mahal shook her head. “You think your mother is that lowly to...”
“Oh no. No no no.” Ladli Begum shook her head “My mother is so beautiful and intelligent. She knows how to get her way. And she is training me well, they say.”
“Who said that?” Nur Mahal fumed. “Who told you all this? Give me names and I'll see to it that...”
“Everyone! Everyone says so. How many will you stop? Please leave me alone.” Ladli Begum walked out of her room leaving Nur Mahal baffled while Rukaiya Begum, sitting in the courtyard, watched her go.
Ladli Begum was surprised as the dowager queen called her to her private chambers. She hoped she hadn’t displeased the intimidating lady again.
As she bowed in front of her, Rukaiya Begum smiled at her. Ladli Begum took a seat at her feet.
“I see your mother paid you a visit.” Rukaiya Begum spoke carefully, slicing the betel nuts into thin pieces.
“Did she tell you?” Ladli asked unsurely.
“No, I just saw her leave. She seemed upset.” Rukaiya Begum said in a wondering tone “You seemed upset.”
Ladli Begum hung her head a little in silence.
“You know, let me tell you a secret.” Rukaiya Begum smiled, offering her some slices of watermelons “I was as awkward in the rules of the harem as you are.” Ladli looked up amazed, “But you were a princess.”
“And princesses are human beings after all.” Rukaiya Begum sighed in nostalgia. “I felt like you once, lonely and lost. I heard things and reacted to them, they hurt me.”
“What did you do then?” Ladli Begum asked. Rukaiya Begum smiled. “I learnt that the world is not ready for strong and intelligent women. They are not ready to accept women who can compete with men and win, like your mother.” Ladli Begum’s face looked grim.
As she bowed in front of her, Rukaiya Begum smiled at her. Ladli Begum took a seat at her feet.
“I see your mother paid you a visit.” Rukaiya Begum spoke carefully, slicing the betel nuts into thin pieces.
“Did she tell you?” Ladli asked unsurely.
“No, I just saw her leave. She seemed upset.” Rukaiya Begum said in a wondering tone “You seemed upset.”
Ladli Begum hung her head a little in silence.
“You know, let me tell you a secret.” Rukaiya Begum smiled, offering her some slices of watermelons “I was as awkward in the rules of the harem as you are.” Ladli looked up amazed, “But you were a princess.”
“And princesses are human beings after all.” Rukaiya Begum sighed in nostalgia. “I felt like you once, lonely and lost. I heard things and reacted to them, they hurt me.”
“What did you do then?” Ladli Begum asked. Rukaiya Begum smiled. “I learnt that the world is not ready for strong and intelligent women. They are not ready to accept women who can compete with men and win, like your mother.” Ladli Begum’s face looked grim.
“She is fighting against the world for who she is, unapologetically, I admire that.” Rukaiya Begum smiled “Don’t side with the world in her battle. She needs you by her side.”
“Will things ever go back to the way they were?” Ladli Begum asked. Rukaiya Begum smiled “Life only gets harder. But we learn to love, live, and hold on to those we trust and love, even if there are very few.”
“Will things ever go back to the way they were?” Ladli Begum asked. Rukaiya Begum smiled “Life only gets harder. But we learn to love, live, and hold on to those we trust and love, even if there are very few.”
Ladli looked away at her words and wondered. She had gotten used to the palace life and its diplomacy and learnt to ignore those who intimidated her. But could she forgive her mother for the sense of abandonment she felt?
“We feel what we want to feel.” Rukaiya Begum smiled, almost reading her mind. “We feel people will abandon us, for things we can never give them. We live a life fearing that they will leave us. And when they are truly gone, we often realise they were with us after all, all their lives. But it is too late to rewind and relive the moments we could have enjoyed than worry.” Ladli Begum walked out of her chambers with a changed perspective. She stroked her brush on the half-done painting, of a horse rider, and made the rider a woman. She then wrapped it in a velvet cloth with a handwritten note and called for Hoshiyar Khan.
“We feel what we want to feel.” Rukaiya Begum smiled, almost reading her mind. “We feel people will abandon us, for things we can never give them. We live a life fearing that they will leave us. And when they are truly gone, we often realise they were with us after all, all their lives. But it is too late to rewind and relive the moments we could have enjoyed than worry.” Ladli Begum walked out of her chambers with a changed perspective. She stroked her brush on the half-done painting, of a horse rider, and made the rider a woman. She then wrapped it in a velvet cloth with a handwritten note and called for Hoshiyar Khan.
“No matter how far the trees rise, away from the soil, they are always stuck to the roots. You are my roots.” Nur Mahal brushed her hands over the painting and smiled. She didn’t know what made Ladli change her mind; she was just glad that she did.
The only friend Ladli Begum had made in the harem was Shehzaade Shahryar. However, the incidents of that day had pushed her away from him. Something in him and his behaviour that day disappointed her. She had started ignoring him, and the safest way to do that was to stay in the parts of the Harem where he was not allowed. Shahryar however had sent his apologies, via letters, apples and even an ivory pin. Nothing changed Ladli Begum’s impression. Shahryar realised that like her mother Ladli too was stubborn.
Arjumand Banu ran into her chambers and shut the doors, smiling as Asaf Khan arrived back from the Dakkhans with a sealed letter from the Padshah. The Padshah had addressed that Shehzaade Khurram would be returning to the court soon and had already sent his harem back, as they spoke. Soon, they would finalize a date for the wedding which was going to be held at their home. Arjumand blushed as she remembered the contents of the letter. She had waited so long for this day. But now she didn’t know what to feel. She heard her father remind her mother that Nur Mahal made it happen. He even said how Arjumand should follow protocol and visit Qandahari Begum with gifts for her child when she arrives. Nothing seemed to register in her mind now.
Rukaiya Sultana Begum had ordered a feast and decoration of the Turkish Harem on the occasion of the arrival of the new princess. When Qandahari Begum stepped out of the caravan hoping to find no grand reception for a daughter she was pleasantly surprised to see Jagat Gossain and Rukaiya Begum at the entrance. She had taken Shehzaadi Perhez from the wetnurse and handed her over to Jagat Gossain who admired the child.
“She looks like him.” Jagat Gossain gushed “Doesn’t she?” Rukaiya Begum hugged Qandahari Begum and blessed her.
It was till late afternoon that gifts filled up Qandahari Begum’s chambers as everyone congratulated her and came to see the Princess who played quite unaware in her golden cot. It was almost evening when the crowd dispersed.
Arjumand had dragged a reluctant Ladli Begum with her, to present Qandahari Begum with gifts. She had even knit a quilt herself much to her mother’s opposition. Qandahari Begum smiled seeing her familiar face at her threshold.
“Come in.” She went ahead to greet Arjumand with a hug. “How are you, Ladli Begum?” Her words were met with a bow.
Qandahari Begum had held her child and placed her carefully on Arjumand’s lap. Arjumand looked at ease with the child who was fascinated by her neckpiece by now.
“Shehzaade will be here in a few weeks, and then we will all prepare for your wedding.” Qandahari Begum spoke in jest “Won’t you like that Ladli Begum?” A silent nod. Arjumand exchanged glances with her.
“I was waiting for you to come. There is something I need to do and I want you to go with me.” Qandahari Begum spoke.
“What is it?” Arjumand looked confused.
“Come in.” She went ahead to greet Arjumand with a hug. “How are you, Ladli Begum?” Her words were met with a bow.
Qandahari Begum had held her child and placed her carefully on Arjumand’s lap. Arjumand looked at ease with the child who was fascinated by her neckpiece by now.
“Shehzaade will be here in a few weeks, and then we will all prepare for your wedding.” Qandahari Begum spoke in jest “Won’t you like that Ladli Begum?” A silent nod. Arjumand exchanged glances with her.
“I was waiting for you to come. There is something I need to do and I want you to go with me.” Qandahari Begum spoke.
“What is it?” Arjumand looked confused.
Rukaiya Sultana Begum was surprised to see the Qandahari Begum followed by Arjumand at her door. Her heart felt overwhelmed as Qandahari Begum placed little Perhez Banu on her lap. Rukaiya Begum kissed the child’s forehead.
“Shehzaade wants you to be her official guardian.” Qandahari Begum smiled. “I am here to give you my daughter. Raise her like you raised him, Sultana Begum.” Rukaiya Begum smiled with a nod at Qandahari Begum.
“Shehzaade wants you to be her official guardian.” Qandahari Begum smiled. “I am here to give you my daughter. Raise her like you raised him, Sultana Begum.” Rukaiya Begum smiled with a nod at Qandahari Begum.
“But you must stay close to me then and not travel with Shehzaade anymore. I am too weak to travel and Shehzaadi needs both her mother and guardian in her growing years.” Qandahari Begum nodded. “With Arjumand here after the wedding, she can travel with him while I stay here with her.” Arjumand Banu was a little taken aback but nodded.
Coming out of the chambers and taking their leave, Arjumand Banu went to Ladli Begum’s room. Seeing her Ladli frowned slightly “What’s wrong?” She asked.
“Will you be able to give your child away?” She asked. Ladli looked confused then she thought a little. “No.” Came a short reply.
“Qandahari Begum was happy with Sultana Begum taking all decisions for her child.I somehow can’t comprehend that. I can not have a say in...” Ladli giggled at her words. Arjumand Banu frowned at her.
“The wedding date isn’t fixed and you are planning children already?” Ladli Begum giggled some more “Wait till I tell the Shehzaade!”
“Don’t you dare!!” Arjumand warned chasing her around the room, while both of them giggled.
“You and Shehzaade Khurram are the only people I can trust.” Ladli Begum’s words made Arjumand stare at her as they half lay on her bed. “And every time you fight, I will take his side!”
“Why?” Arjumand looked disappointed “You are my sister!”
“I am his friend too. And he has always been nice to me.” Ladli Begum smiled.
“That he is because you are my sister,” Arjumand smirked but Ladli’s smile faded at this sudden realization.
“Is that true?” She frowned, wondering “Did he never care for me had I not been your sister?”
“Oh, you overthink so much!” Arjumand shook her head dismissing the idea “He is your friend. He will always be.” Ladli Begum sighed.
Coming out of the chambers and taking their leave, Arjumand Banu went to Ladli Begum’s room. Seeing her Ladli frowned slightly “What’s wrong?” She asked.
“Will you be able to give your child away?” She asked. Ladli looked confused then she thought a little. “No.” Came a short reply.
“Qandahari Begum was happy with Sultana Begum taking all decisions for her child.I somehow can’t comprehend that. I can not have a say in...” Ladli giggled at her words. Arjumand Banu frowned at her.
“The wedding date isn’t fixed and you are planning children already?” Ladli Begum giggled some more “Wait till I tell the Shehzaade!”
“Don’t you dare!!” Arjumand warned chasing her around the room, while both of them giggled.
“You and Shehzaade Khurram are the only people I can trust.” Ladli Begum’s words made Arjumand stare at her as they half lay on her bed. “And every time you fight, I will take his side!”
“Why?” Arjumand looked disappointed “You are my sister!”
“I am his friend too. And he has always been nice to me.” Ladli Begum smiled.
“That he is because you are my sister,” Arjumand smirked but Ladli’s smile faded at this sudden realization.
“Is that true?” She frowned, wondering “Did he never care for me had I not been your sister?”
“Oh, you overthink so much!” Arjumand shook her head dismissing the idea “He is your friend. He will always be.” Ladli Begum sighed.
“I can’t thank you enough.” Asaf Khan smiled offering the gifts he had brought for his sister “The wedding preparations are ...”
“Don’t worry about that.” Nur Mahal smiled. “It’s for my Arju.”
“She is blessed indeed. How can I ever repay you?” Asaf Khan smiled. Nur Mahal smiled back at her brother. “By offering me your loyalty.”
Asaf Khan frowned “Who else would I be more loyal to than my own sister?” Nur Mahal smiled “You taught me power knew no kins.”
“Do you never forget anything?” Asaf Khan wondered. “The power in concern here is the Padshah and my loyalty to him is forever.”
“That’s what I needed to know.” Nur Mahal nodded. Asaf Khan sat down with his sister.
“Is anything wrong?” He asked.
“I am not sure...” Nur Mahal said a little absentmindedly.
“Speak to me; it shall not leave this room.” Asaf Khan urged.
“Well, the other day, I was helping the emperor with some papers and letters and...” Nur Mahal walked up to a chest and took out a bunch of letters with royal seals. “I noticed these. The numbers don’t match.”
“You had been accounting for the Padshah?” Asaf Khan’s brows shot up “He has people to do so.”
“Those people are clearly not efficient.” Nur Mahal gave her brother the letters. “Hence the emperor cross-checks them often, and I offered to help.”
“Whose territory is this?” Asaf Khan asked.
“Mahabat Khan. Or rather Shehzaade Pervez. I think he is planning something against the emperor.” Asaf Khan dismissed the idea “No way. Mahabat Khan has been here long enough to gain the emperor’s trust. I suggest you not bring this to the Padshah’s notice until we have enough proof. This can go against you.”
“I am not telling him, that is why I am telling you. Find out what you have to do when the wedding is done.” Asaf Khan agreed and took her to leave. Nur Mahal went back to the papers.
“Don’t worry about that.” Nur Mahal smiled. “It’s for my Arju.”
“She is blessed indeed. How can I ever repay you?” Asaf Khan smiled. Nur Mahal smiled back at her brother. “By offering me your loyalty.”
Asaf Khan frowned “Who else would I be more loyal to than my own sister?” Nur Mahal smiled “You taught me power knew no kins.”
“Do you never forget anything?” Asaf Khan wondered. “The power in concern here is the Padshah and my loyalty to him is forever.”
“That’s what I needed to know.” Nur Mahal nodded. Asaf Khan sat down with his sister.
“Is anything wrong?” He asked.
“I am not sure...” Nur Mahal said a little absentmindedly.
“Speak to me; it shall not leave this room.” Asaf Khan urged.
“Well, the other day, I was helping the emperor with some papers and letters and...” Nur Mahal walked up to a chest and took out a bunch of letters with royal seals. “I noticed these. The numbers don’t match.”
“You had been accounting for the Padshah?” Asaf Khan’s brows shot up “He has people to do so.”
“Those people are clearly not efficient.” Nur Mahal gave her brother the letters. “Hence the emperor cross-checks them often, and I offered to help.”
“Whose territory is this?” Asaf Khan asked.
“Mahabat Khan. Or rather Shehzaade Pervez. I think he is planning something against the emperor.” Asaf Khan dismissed the idea “No way. Mahabat Khan has been here long enough to gain the emperor’s trust. I suggest you not bring this to the Padshah’s notice until we have enough proof. This can go against you.”
“I am not telling him, that is why I am telling you. Find out what you have to do when the wedding is done.” Asaf Khan agreed and took her to leave. Nur Mahal went back to the papers.
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