Understandings

After counting days, Ajabde was happy that she was going to Bijolia. She knew how eager her mother and Ratan would be to know about her new life. She couldn't wait to hug her mother and feel like... Home. She was selecting gifts for her parents and her siblings as per Ranima's instructions. Then suddenly an idea struck her mind. Her new family welcomed her with so much love and support. Especially Ranima and Majhli Maa Sa. She wanted to give them something. Suddenly she remembered that Ranima had loved her embroidery work on dupattas back in Bijolia so she called a Dasi and ordered some plain Chunris and embroidery threads. She had a lot of work to finish in a day before leaving.

 

Kunwar Pratap came back into the room to see her on the floor, right in the middle of the room with red, green, yellow, and pink all sorts of dupattas scattered.

" What's all this?" He asked not sure if he should be asking.

" I am making gifts. For Ranima, Majhli ma, Rani Dheer Bai ji and Rani Veer Bai ji." She said without looking up at him.

" Gifts? Why?" He frowned. It's not like she was not going to come back or stay months in Bijolia. 

" Because I want to thank them for..." She stopped.

" You don't need to thank them for anything." He said with another frown. She is clearly formal with everyone here.

" I know." She said still not looking up. He left her alone at her work.

 

Ajabde walked up to the threshold of Rani Dheer Bai Bhattiyani's room as Dasi declared her presence. The Bhatiyani queen was sitting with the jewellery box that she quickly shut as if some thief had entered her room she smiled saying " Ayiye Kuwaraniji."

" Ummm... Ranisa... I... " Ajabde looked down at the floor.

" What is that?" Dheer Bai pointed at the green dupatta in her hand. " It's so pretty, where did you buy this?"

" I... I... Made this Ranisa. For you."

 

Something around the Bhatiyani queen always scared Ajabde. She was not as warm or helpful as the others. Sometimes she felt that being a Samant Putri she was hated by the queen, or maybe that was just her misunderstanding. She saw how the queen always doted on Kunwar Pratap who in turn respected her a lot. Or so it seemed. Ten days in the Palace had made Ajabde realise one thing for sure. People here were all pretentious. No one was what they actually were. All except Ranima. That is why she loved Ranima. And Kunwar Pratap? She was not sure what he actually was, what went on in his mind or why he acted the way he did.

 

" You made this?" Dheerbai was shocked. " Why?"

" I ... wanted to thank you for accepting me." She looked a little uneasy.

" You know Kuwaraniji. Here, we only wear things made by the Royal Tailor!" She turned her back to Ajabde who stood like she was going to cry out of fear. " We don't sew. We order. I think you need to learn more ways around the palace. Because in Samant homes you may make your own things but in..." Dheerbai stopped as she turned around spotting Kunwar Pratap at her door. Ajabde looked up at her confused then followed her gaze to the door and her face changed from sad to shock.

 

" Kunwarsa! When did you... I... Sit down please." Dheerbai was scared about what he might have heard.

" No it's okay, I was here to see Jagmal, I heard he was unwell Chotima." He said in an indifferent tone. Ajabde was looking at the floor, confused.

" I was just.... praising Ajabde's handwork, right?" Dheerbai looked at Ajabde who nodded in approval. Kunwar Pratap looked at the queen and then Ajabde and said with a smile,

"Of course Chotima, we should always praise people's talents right?" Ajabde's eyes went wide and so did Dheerbai. Did he just praise me? That too in front of Queen Dheerbai?

" Ji." Dheerbai seemed disappointed.

" I should take your leave." Ajabde softly addressed Dheerbai as she walked out, while Kunwar Pratap carefully moved out of the way.

 

" Kuwaraniji, suniye!" He seemed to have run a little to catch up to her as she stopped at the corridor.

" You called me?" A surprised tone came from her voice seeing him breathless.

" I ... Need to talk to you about something."

" Ji?"

" Kuwaranisa Maharanisa is calling you." Daasi interrupted.

" Ohh, Let's go." She said before turning back at him and adding " I am coming from Ranima's chambers. She needs me."

" I will... err.... be in the room." He gulped down the word wait as he spoke. She nodded before leaving.

" Ajabde is here." Sajja Bai was excited as always. " Look, I wore your gift." She flaunted as Jaivanta smiled.

" You were looking for me, Ranima?" A soft voice came after a smile at Sajja Bai.

" Yes, I am sorry to disappoint you but you have to come back in a week from Bijolia. It's Teej next week. Your first Teej." She explained as Ajabde nodded understandingly.

" How can I help with the preparations, Ranima?"

" By enjoying your stay in Bijolia." Jaivanta smiled. " I will not worry for you then, all the preparations will be done... Kunwar Pratap ?"

 

Jaivanta's gaze travelled to the door, which was to Ajabde's back as she spoke.

" Do you need anything?" Jaivanta asked.

This time Ajabde did not turn back. She could sense him walking up to them, almost beside her a few feet away.

" I... am ..." He seemed to think. " What's happening here?"

He looked around his mother's room filled with newly bought clothes and pieces of jewellery for the ladies.

" It's Teej in a week," Sajja explained. " Ajabde's first Teej. She will fast for you." She gushed as Ajabde blushed.

"Ohh Pratap I almost forgot!" Jaivanta stopped Sajja before she pulled his leg.

" Ji Ranima?"

" You have to take Ajabde to Bijolia tomorrow, you stay there for a night, it's the Pagfera ritual and then you come back. You have to go there to bring her back on the sixth day."

" She is going for a week?" Ajabde was not sure if his question spoke of happiness or disappointment. He bit his tongue for even asking that as Sajja laughed saying " Why? Is it too soon or too long?"

 

" I need to talk to Rawatji." He walked off as Sajja laughed and Jaivanta made a scolding face at her and Ajabde blushed.

" Aree, Kunwarsa didn't say why he was here." Sajja giggled, staring at Ajabde who smiled and walked away fumbling " I ... should go Ranima."

 

Ajabde was in her room after lunch. She sighed at the familiar sight she faced daily. His morning clothes were scattered around, She picked them up like she always did and started folding them up. When she came back from Ranima's room in the morning hoping he was there, he was not. Either he really did have some work or he left too embarrassed after asking what he asked. She smiled a little. Kunwar Pratap entered the room a little earlier than the other days, post lunch. He saw her absentmindedly folding his clothes with a smile. She must be happy about leaving.

" Why are you folding clothes? Daasi? Daasi!" He startled her.

" No No No!" She stopped him. " It's okay, I do it every day. " She seemed a little embarrassed that she folded his clothes without his permission each day before he arrived. He was shocked that she did it all and he thought the Daasi...

" You don't need to do all these." He spoke up. " There are people for..."

" I like to do whatever little I can, without help. If you want me not to fold your things I'm sorry..."

" It's not that." He cut her off as eyes met briefly. " Even I like to do my things on my own." Yes, Kunwarsa,  you fold your clothes and keep your things in the right place every single day! Her mind taunted.

" You...wanted to talk of..." She reminded him. I hope he doesn't stay back in Bijolia. Her heart skipped a beat.

" Yes, umm... whatever Chotima told you today, I... heard." He confessed looking down at the carpet as her eyes went wide once again before she spoke up calmly.

" It's all fine, she was not wrong, I really don't know a lot of things around here."

" I know sometimes Chotima can be a little... " He looked confused as to how to put it.

" Dhanyavaad." Her words made him stop his thoughts as he looked up at her smiling face.

" For what?"He asked, confused.

" For defending me there." She seemed happy that he defended her although he hadn't realised that until now. He realised it soon enough and left with a nod.

" You are not taking the Ramayana?" He asked, pointing at the Granth as she checked her packed trunk that night.

" No, it's a condition... besides, Ratan talks so much that I won't have time for it there. " She closed the trunk.

" Hmm... I will read it then." He said in a strange tone.

" You can if you have time." She smiled as she checked her jewellery box without looking at him.

" True." He agreed. " I have some work coming up in a month with Rawat Ji. "

" Kunwarsa I have a request." Her voice was low, as if unsure.

" Ji?" He asked, narrowing his eyes a little. Her first request.

" Umm... when we reach Bijolia, I want you to hand over the gifts I chose on Ranima's order to my Parents. They will be... happy." He nodded a yes. " And umm... don't ... umm... talk about our priorities and vows to anyone there... they will be worried..."She seemed uncomfortable with the topic.

" Kunwaraniji, no one except you and I know what we talked about in the Hall of the Ancestors. So, you don't need to worry about that." He reassured her. She nodded before walking up to the bed.

" Wait!" His order stopped her.

" Do I look like your servant?" His serious face scared her.

" What... I... What... I mean..." She fumbled. Kunwar Pratap could hold his serious face no longer as he chuckled, making her more confused.

" I mean, once in a while take turns to blow the lamps." He smiled. " Shubh Ratri." He went to his side, leaving her a little shaken.

 

The next day Ajabde was suddenly sad as she touched Ranima's feet before leaving the Ranimahal. Ranima's warm hug made her feel sadder. " Come home soon." however made her smile as she nodded. Kunwar Pratap entered the room and frowned. His Ranima was in his room but to meet Ajabde. The servants were taking her trunks to the carts.

" Ranima, we are ready to leave." He touched her feet as Ajabde pulled her dupatta over her face.

Ranima blessed him before smiling at Ajabde and leaving them alone. The moment she left he heard what he thought was a sniff from beside him. He looked confused.

" I thought... you are happy..." He started.

" I am..." She replied. Oh, Happy tears then! He nodded his head before walking out as she followed.

 

Bijolia was all decked up to welcome their favourite daughter and Mewar's Kunwarani. She peeped out and waved at the people and saw Kunwar Pratap fold his hands humbly at the subjects. She smiled at his humble nature. Unlike most at the palace, he is like Ranima in some cases. Except for his Ego. He got down at the Palace gate where Hansa Bai and RamRakh Panwar waited with the aarti thali and before going towards them he turned back to wait for her to get down from the Palanquin. Hansa and Ramrakh smiled at each other. They walked up together as Hansa did the aarti and put the tilak on Kunwar Pratap's forehead. He bent down to touch her feet as she protested.

" Why not? If Kuwaraniji can touch Ranima's feet I have the right to take your blessings too." He had clearly impressed her parents. Ratan dragged Ajabde by her hand to her old room as Kunwar Pratap sat with Raoji. He had started talking of Bijolia's administration the moment they sat.

 

" Jija, see we have redecorated the room for you and Kunwarsa." Ratan gushed as Ajabde pulled back her dupatta. She saw how much effort Ratan had put in to impress the Prince. She appreciated it.

" Ajabde." Her mother came and hugged her tight. " You look so pretty. Chittor has made you beautiful"

" Or Kunwarsa's love." Ratan giggled as Ajabde stared at her wide-eyed. There was suddenly an empty feeling inside. She shook it off before it came on her face and she told her mother " Chaliye, Rasoighar!"

" No No No!" Hansa protested. " I am not going to let you work."

" Maa, I forgot to say, I am here only for a week and have to return for Teej. And Kunwarsa will leave tomorrow morning."

" I know, Ranisa wrote to me."

 

At dinner, Kunwar Pratap was being pampered a lot by his mother-in-law with all his favourite dishes. As the kheer came, he was unsure since he never liked kheer not made by his mother and now... Ajabde also... and he stared at the Katori as Ajabde bent down before him to serve dal. She whispered, " You can have that, I made it." before walking up to Balwant with the daal. He was a little embarrassed at how she read his mind. He resumed eating.

 

He walked into the bedroom to spot her standing on the balcony absentminded. Her hair blew in the wind and her dupatta had fallen off her head. Hearing his footsteps she hurried to cover her head as he stopped her.

" It's all right, this is not Chittor, you don't need to..." His words stopped her as she bunned up her hair and walked toward the bed.

" Were you born here only?" He asked. She nodded a yes.

" I was born in..."

" Kumbhalgarh. I know." He looked at her as she shrugged, " Everyone in Rajputana knows." That made him smile. She stopped on the bed worried. She had totally forgotten that, unlike the palace at Chittor, her bed didn't have extra pillows. There was only one extra pillow on her bed. He noticed what the cause of her worry was as she quickly walked towards the closed door saying " I am going to get some extra...."

" Stop..." Her hand stopped at the hatch as he called. " I don't think you should call ...err... Maasa for pillows at this hour... She might think..." Did he just say Maa sa? 

" Maybe it will be odd asking for ..." She agreed.

" We will manage." He concluded as he walked up to the bed and placed the single pillow in between. He was waiting for her to come to her side before he blew the lamps.

" I will blow them out." She replied, reading his thoughts as he nodded.

 

Ajabde was sound asleep, tired from her journey and happy in her old bed. Kunwar Pratap was a little uncomfortable and sleepless in the new environment. Suddenly he was thinking how quickly Ajabde had adapted to Chittor and as he stared at her back turned to her, strands of her hair, on the back of her choli he quickly looked away back at the ceiling. She turned in her sleep and her hand was on the pillow in between as he jumped up.

" Umm... Kuwaraniji?" He called softly. " Your hand... Kuwaraniji?" She was in a deep sleep. His hand stopped before touching hers and he looked around. Then using his pillow he pushed her hand back to her side as she moved in her sleep. Kunwar Pratap sighed in relief before straightening the pillow in between once again and turning his back to her trying to sleep.

 

" Mann Mohana, Tum Bin Paau kaise chain

Tarsu Tumhiko Din Raainee."

He woke up to her Bhajan as he shifted to spot her at her puja. He sat up and realised he needed to leave for Chittor. He hurried to do his daily chores as Ajabde got up from her puja. She neatly kept his khanjar, talwar and pagri along with the brooch on the table before the couch before walking out. He came back and put his khanjar, talwar and pagri in place before walking out of the room. After eating some delicious puri prepared by Hansa, Kunwar Pratap got up, hands folded to Raoji saying

" I will take your leave."

" Wait for a little." Hansa urged, " Let Ajabde come for the aarti."

 

Ajabde walked with small measured steps, her face covered with the dupatta, towards him as he waited at the entrance. Something in her wished the walk didn't end. But it did as she did the aarti both of them stared at the aarti thali.

" Chalte hai." He smiled at Hansa and Ratan though it was not for them. He thought he heard a sniff but maybe he heard wrong. He walked to the horse and got up. When he turned around she was not there. He started Sarang off with a " Hah!" and he started galloping. When he was at the main gate he turned back one last time and he didn't know why he felt so uneasy. From a jharokha inside the palace, Ajabde watched him go, making sure he had no visibility of her. Her vision blurred with sudden fear. What if he didn't want her to go back? What if he didn't come to get her back? She gulped.

 

Back in Chittor, Kunwar Pratap walked into his empty room, trying to get accustomed to its sudden emptiness. He stopped at the Pujaghar, where the Ramayana was neatly kept, one of its pages bookmarked with a feather. He sat down and opened it.

" What you don't know Ravana is that you have given us strength, the trust and love that grows with this separation is more than what we achieved in the twelve long years together. So, I know my Lord will come for me and when he does, our Love will win over your Ego. Love always wins over Ego. I wait for him..." He read aloud before stopping and closing the book, looking up at the idol of Lord Krishna, as the lamps flickered in the silence of the room.

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