Aaja shamil ho isme zara thoda muskura de
Seven months into her pregnancy, Bondita realised, almost to her amusement, that there were certain prejudices that even Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury gave in to. Ever since Koeli arrived, to help her out, as instructed by Kakababu, to her utter surprise Aniruddha gave in to Koeli putting a kajal tika behind her ear every time she stepped out, to avoid bad omens. He even willingly gave up the bedroom at one phone call from Trilochan insisting that the woman needs her space during her pregnancy. He ended up having a makeshift mattress as a bed, in the middle of the living room in the apartment, and he was more than willing to sleep there while Koeli stayed with Bondita. Although she liked to have the entire bed to herself, she sometimes missed their pillow talks. Aniruddha also made sure the household never ran out of supplies of pickles and sweets. Koeli didn’t lose a turn to tease Bondita about how the child hadn’t even arrived yet and had managed to change Choto Malik and divert his attention to more worldly things. Bondita also realised that as soon as she started showing, people were more careful around her and she had a lot of unwanted attention as if she was sick.
In between her morning sickness and Aniruddha’s futile attempts to help her, she was glad Koeli was there to take care of her and even talk to her about home. Koeli often told her about similar symptoms Ashapurna had and subtly put the idea in that perhaps her child too was an heir. Bondita would just smile. She knew in the deepest corner of her heart that Aniruddha wanted a daughter. She wanted a daughter. A daughter they can raise out of the bindings of society. Aniruddha took her to college every day and she had to sometimes wait for him to take her back home as he got late from work. Although Aniruddha didn’t want to show it, Bondita found him managing time, juggling between overwork, sleeping less and her mood swings with a smile on his face even when it was quite difficult for him. Although she never said it out loud, Bondita admired his gestures. All the changes in routine, the constant cravings every two hours and the regular visits to the doctor sparked a lot of unwanted attention around them. Be it the neighbours who helped her with drying the clothes when Koeli went to the market or Latika being kind enough to cook for her sweet cravings now and then, to them asking about home, making her miss her family more, and the friends in college who suddenly became aware of her changes. Although some of them were married, with children, many suggested she skip the year, examination and stress and rest. Something she was not going to do. During the examinations, Bondita found her palms sweatier than usual. The littlest of changes felt huge to her as she kept noting them in her mind to tell her doctor who eventually smiled and said she need not worry. The only thing that motivated her to keep going apart from Aniruddha’s support, was her will to return home.
Ashapurna’s warm hug teared up Bondita at the threshold as she realised how much she had missed home. The examinations were tough and it was tougher not to be stressed out about it. She let go of all her exertion in that one hug. Her yellow saree’s red anchol was wet with tears as she wiped her eyes making Aniruddha look worried. Trilochan instructed Ashapurna in a rather hurried manner to not keep her waiting at the threshold.
“Ki Kando, Bouma.” He shook his head “She is exhausted enough from the long journey, take her to her bedroom. Bihari? Put Choto Malik’s bag in Malkin’s old bedroom.” Ashapurna nodded as Bondita stepped in and her eyes fell on the Thakur dalan.
“But first take her blessings.” Trilochan insisted “Both of you.”
Aniruddha followed Bondita’s carefully measured steps to the Thakur Dalan where they stood hands folded in front of the Goddess. Lamps were lit all around the courtyard with fresh coats of Alpona drawn at every threshold.
“We held a small home (havan) for your arrival,” Ashapurna added before Bondita asked. “Come with me. Dadabhai, you go separate ways from here.” She smiled a little amused.
“Oh yes, I was just the guard who happened to bring her here.” He nodded, making Ashapurna pull her anchol over her face as she smiled and took Bondita’s hand. “I have been ousted from my own room.”
“Batuk?” Bondita asked as Ashapurna nodded. “ He will be here next month. But I am very angry that both Khoka’s Kaka and Jetha missed his annaprasan.”
“Oh we will make it up to him on his birthday,” Aniruddha promised. “Where is he?”
“His father took him out for a walk.”
“He can walk?” Aniruddha stared in disbelief.
“He tries to.” Ashapurna’s eyes shone with pride “Tries to talk as well.” Bondita smiled at her words. Soon, perhaps she would be talking of such primitive human behaviour making it sound like an achievement. Her eyes met Aniruddha’s to realise he was thinking the same as he looked away with a smile. He took their leave as Asha helped Bondita up the stairs.
“Sampoorna Boudi will be coming tomorrow, so will Bina Mashi, Malati Jethima and oh, her daughter-in-law is expecting a third child.” Bondita eyed Ashapurna as she read Bondita’s unsaid words and added “Yes, this soon.”
“I went to visit Didi, almost six months back.” Bondita sighed, “It will be good to see her.”
“Oh yes, and I haven’t seen the baby yet. Niladri, isn’t it?” Ashapurna smiled as Bondita's eyes fell on her bedroom. It had been revamped.
“At home, they call him Tapan.” She added.
“Shoshur Moshai insisted that the walls were painted and furniture polished before you arrived.” Ashapurna smiled. “That cot has been imported.” Bondita looked up at her words a little wide-eyed. The Roy Chowdhurys always went out of their way to express happiness. She spotted the Gramophone in the bedroom.
“Shoshur moshai also insisted you need it more than Dadabhai does, now.” She giggled. “Get changed and freshen up, I will see you for lunch. Also, don’t bother coming downstairs.” She warned, “It is now my responsibility to see that you are well rested Didibhai.”
Bondita shut the door behind her as her eyes fell on his portrait above the doorway. She stood in the exact spot where she stood imitating his posture years ago. She smiled faintly as she walked up to the cot and ran her fingers on the new piece of wooden furniture drawn with angels and a permanent mosquito net over it. Must have cost a fortune. She saw that her luggage had already been opened and kept, ready for use. The perks of being homemade her glad. She changed into a simpler cotton saree and the rumbling thunders caught her attention. She stood with her hands on the vertical iron rods of the open window as the fragrance of the freshly rain-soaked earth hit her nostrils. Bondita closed her eyes as the droplets hit her face and the wind played on her open locks. The smell and feel brought back memories. From paper boats and dancing in puddles, to being scolded by Kakababu for running around the house with her muddy feet. Bondita opened her eyes and smiled. Another such rainy day had brought Aniruddha closer to her. She placed her hand gently on her bump and smiled. She had begun to feel the child move inside her. The doctor said that was reassuring of her baby’s health. The child kicked, right where she had placed her hand, as though to tell her it could read her thoughts. A soft knock made her tie her hair up in a bun, pull the anchol over her head and open the door.
Ashapurna was on the threshold with Ashutosh and Bondita gasped at the chubby child looking at her with eager eyes. Ashapurna placed him down on the bed, giving him a wooden elephant to play with as she sat down beside him and Bondita faced them.
“He is all grown up.” Bondita admired, running her hand through the child’s curls as he looked up and smiled at her.
“Tell me who he looks like. I have a constant fight with your Dada over it.” Ashapurna shrugged.
“His eyes are like yours.” Bondita was quick to conclude. “But his other features are like the Roy Chowdhury genes.” Bondita shook her head “I can’t believe he is all grown up.”
“Well, there is another surprise.” Ashapurna picked him up and placed him on Bondita’s lap. “Khoka.” She clapped her hands to get the child’s attention. “Who is this? Whose lap are you on?” The child smiled at his mother, soon to realise he was on a stranger’s lap and stared at her face making Bondita kiss him on his chubby cheeks.
“Boroma. Yes. Khoka, say it, say Boroma.”
Bondita was about to stop Asha as Ashutosh tried to read his mother’s face.
“Bomma!” He managed with a little spit of saliva as the ladies gasped.
“Oh.” Bondita smiled as Ashapurna clapped her hands. “Yes, you did it!”
Ashapurna took Khoka on her lap and hugged him, making Bondita stare with a smile.
“So how long are you staying here?” Binoy asked in between his morsels as Bihari offered Aniruddha more fish curry and he refused. Somnath looked up at his words.
“Definitely till the child comes, I hope?” he asked as Aniruddha shook his head.
“I am just here for the weekend.” he made Trilochan stop at his food and look up at him, as did Binoy and Somnath with frowns on their faces. “I will come back in time” He was quick to add “with the doctor.”
Binoy shook his head.
“Dada, why will you go back?” Somnath spoke on behalf of everyone. “Stay for some time.”
“I wish I could, Som.” Aniruddha shook his head “There is an important case coming up and… the client is getting tortured in jail.”
“And he is more important to you than your wife and us?” Trilochan frowned, pushed his plate away and walked back to his room.
“Jetha Moshai?” Aniruddha looked perplexed “Baba?” Binoy shook his head.
“I am with Dada on this one. Bondita needs you here.” He spoke before he left.
“Can you please check on Khoka?” Ashapurna offered Aniruddha a paan he refused while she talked to Somnath, “I need to check on some preparations for tomorrow’s Sadhpuron.” Somnath nodded. “Are we expected to be out of the house?” He asked, eyeing Aniruddha as Ashapurna nodded again “That would be convenient.”
“Great, Dada you must come with me, I will show you around the new factory for handlooms.” He insisted as Aniruddha reluctantly agreed.
That night, Aniruddha twisted and turned in Bondita’s bedroom, sleepless. The unfamiliarity of the room and bed added to the guilt feeling his father had managed to put in his heart for leaving Bondita alone here, but what could he do? A man needed help. His work can save his life. A man, wrongly acquitted, could go back to his wife and children. He couldn’t let them down. But Bondita? Was his father right? Did she expect him here even though they probably couldn't be together? Did his mere presence or absence from the scene make a difference? Aniruddha couldn’t sleep. He walked down to the study room and turned on the lights. He inspected the books and awards, with a faint smile. Among them, newly put on the shelf where the certificates and awards of Bondita and Batuk were kept. He smiled proudly as he ran his hand through her name on the framed certificate on the wall. “Bondita Roy Chowdhury.” He sat down on the couch with a book in hand and turned a leaf to find it bookmarked with a receipt, of the book itself. He had bought it for her after her matriculation. He smiled at it and started reading. He didn’t know when he fell asleep on the couch.
The ladies had gathered around Bondita who was decked up in a maroon saree, gifted to her by Trilochan and the jewellery she had inherited. Flower garlands of Jasmine and tube roses with red roses were put around her neck and braids and Chandan was drawn on her forehead along with her sindoor. Bondita looked surprised at the spread in front of her and then at the crowd. Apart from her in-laws, there was her Kakima, Ashapurna’s mother, Biraj Kakima and a few of the ladies she once taught in school. They all came one by one to bless her with gifts and then the spread of her favourite dishes was offered to her. She missed her mother, who had skipped the occasion as widows didn’t attend them.
“I will feed her first.” Ashapurna gushed as the ladies smiled. After taking a spoonful of the payesh from her hand, Bondita turned to Sampoorna.
“Didi?” Sampoorna looked a little awkward as the ladies of the village still eyed her judgmentally but Bina and Biraj pushed her with a smile.
“Go on Bouma, feed her.” Bina insisted.
“They have always been like actual sisters,” Biraj added.
“More than that.” Sampoorna’s eyes swelled up with tears as Bondita smiled and took a bite of the bhaja she offered. “She had never ever given up on me,” Sampoorna spoke as Bondita hugged her tightly.
“Bouma?” Trilochan appeared a little awkward on the threshold as Ashapurna made way for him to come forward. The ladies pulled their ghomta and moved away as Sampoorna wiped away her tears and drew away from Bondita who looked up at Trilochan with questioning eyes.
“Actually, your Shashuri Maa is supposed to give you this.” He smiled faintly. “But since … Shubhra Boudi would have been so happy with both of you.” He made Ashapurna and Bondita exchange glances and smiles. “This is a blessing from her.”
The women in the crowd let out a little gasp and exchanged glances as Trilichan opened the velvet box and asked Ashapurna to help. The naulakha haar shone on Bondita’s neck as Trilochan smiled. “ This goes down from one Boro Bou of the Roy Chowdhury house to another.” He smiled, “It is now your responsibility to pass it on.”
Bondita nodded and turned to Ashapurna “Get Khoka married fast so that I can do what I am supposed to and be responsible.” The ladies chattered and laughed.
“He is just one and a half, hold on to it.” Ashapurna smiled. Trilochan shook his head.
Bondita was sitting on the bed, watching Ashapurna and Sampoorna complain of their lack of sleep and children’s issues as the two boys played with the scattered blocks on the mat of her room. For the first time, she had seen mothers speak so fondly of the tiniest things the boys did. Like their first words, crawling, surprising them with gestures, etc. Bondita looked up at the clock. A few more hours and Aniruddha would leave for a month or so. She hadn’t managed to have a conversation with him ever since they arrived home. She excused herself and tiptoed out of the room.
Aniruddha was packing his bag when the sound of anklets on the threshold made him stop. The boxes lay open on the bed he didn’t turn and smiled to ask “How was it?”
“Tiring.” Bondita sighed as she traced out her name on the wooden door with her painted hands, not looking at him. Aniruddha glanced over his shoulder at her face. She looked sad.
“So Bondita is sad even after getting to have payesh and rosogollas?” He asked, trying to lighten the mood. She looked up at him, smiling faintly.
“I am not sad, just tired.”
“Bondita.” Aniruddha shook his head as he stepped forward and pulled her closer to the bed making her sit down with a questioning frown on her face “I know you. I know when you walk, from the sound of your anklets, if you are sad, or happy, or curious, or nervous or scared.” He smiled faintly.
“You do?” She asked looking up at his face as he nodded.
“I also know you are upset that I am leaving but you won’t say it because you don’t want to hamper my work. I feel terribly guilty...” He sat down beside her, making her look away. “But before you know I will be back with you. With both of you.” He placed his hand gently on her belly making her smile.
“Go and make me proud by winning the case. And don’t be guilty of doing your job. Save the man. He needs you more than I do.” She said, as her eyes sparkled. Aniruddha cupped her face and kissed her forehead.
“I will. In the meantime take care of my Bondita. And make sure she picks up the phone when it rings.” She frowned at his words.
“I am not allowed downstairs.”
“I know.” Aniruddha smiled “That is why Somnath will install a phone upstairs. I told him to.”
“Barrister Babu…” Bondita suddenly looked embarrassed.
“What? You really thought I would go without talking to you for a month?” He asked as she shook her head.
“I have another piece of good news for you.” He smiled as she looked up at him “You wouldn’t miss me at all. Sampoorna is staying back and Batuk will be here soon too. He called.”
“Even if the house is full of people, I would still miss you.” Bondita shook her head. Aniruddha hugged her tightly. Bondita was suddenly amused as she remembered something.
“You know Koeli didi was cleaning out the room, making it ready.”
“Hmm?”
“Guess what I found.” The excitement in her voice was inevitable. Aniruddha frowned.
“Should I be scared?” She giggled as she walked up to the cupboard and opened it to take out a diary. Aniruddha immediately recognized it. He ran up to her and almost snatched it.
“That’s mine.”
“I know, I read your poetry. You are quite talented.” Bondita made him frown.
“This is a personal thing.” He shook his head. “Not a word to anyone.”
She giggled.
“Then let me hear some of it in your own voice.” She insisted. Aniruddha exhaled. He knew she wouldn’t let it go easily.
“Fine, choose a poem, This was so long back I even forgot what I wrote.” He shrugged. Bondita was not a person to give up that easily.
Bondita turned the leaves of the scribbled diary. She smiled, “This one.”
“I see the sky turn red at dusk,
It reminds me of your face.
The red of vermillion smeared on your cheeks,
Why couldn’t I forget that day of distress?
If I were one to believe in fate,
I would call it Destiny’s Game,
That your eyes radiant as the setting sun,
And that Sindur ranga face in the crowd
Reminds me of Godhuli or is it the other way around?”
Aniruddha looked at the date below the poem as he read it out loud. It was written right after he had come home from Britain. He looked up at Bondita, a little embarrassed as she smiled.
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