Loss Time
“I was tired of waiting, wonderin’ if you were ever coming around, my faith in you was fading ~ Love Story.
Ajabdeh took a deep breath as she adjusted her microphone on the podium with her newly done nails, careful enough not to breathe into it. She cleared her throat, stared at the paper she had put down and then briefly at the shadow of the crowd sitting in front of her. Just in front of her eyes were her father and Bade Papa. Udai Singh smiled briefly at her as if to nod and say, “Go on.” Ajabdeh started addressing the gathering. She had been on the stage so many times before, in front of cheering school kids at their school functions or even at the rowdy judging college crowd at fests, her guitar slung across her shoulder as she sang her heart out. Never had she imagined that speaking would make her so nervous, especially in front of these corporate people whose eyes seemed to judge her every move. The media presence did not help either. Was she going to be confident? Would she slip up and become a meme? Could she be the CEO of the future? She could just imagine their economic page covers. She started.
“My colleagues, peers, members of the board and staff members, I know the name I carry and the position I hold is that of age-old heritage, reputation and goodwill.”
Pratap adjusted his watch as his eyes oddly caught the way her hair shone in the limelight. Did she have those highlights before? Were they new? He could not remember. She was nervously going through her speech, trying to control the pace at which she spoke. Once she was done, she looked up at the crowd, a little flushed, a little drop of perspiration on her forehead. He clapped, and so did the audience, some of them looking visibly pleased at the prospect of their company’s future being in good hands. He straightened his tie a bit. Now that her speech was done, it was his turn. He did not even prepare the way she did with a heap of paper. He took out the pointers from his pocket as his name was announced. The crowd clapped again as he rose from his seat, nodded at the fathers and headed for the stage. Ajabdeh was getting down, holding the drape of her mother’s saree elegantly in between her fingers as she looked up at him, and he moved away just a bit to make way for her. Eyes met as they nodded a quick acknowledgement. Of what? He couldn’t tell. He suddenly remembered her on the day of the school farewell. She wore the same shade of blue drape that day. Something in that colour enhanced her beauty. What was he thinking? He was already on the podium. He straightened the microphone and then the paper and began his speech.
It was the afternoon luncheon where the new CEO and MD of Punwar Sisodiya groups met the board of directors formally. They knew them personally, of course, from the various parties hosted by their parents that they attended, yet this was different and professional. Once the luncheon was over and they were introduced, Udai Singh called both of them to his chamber at the office. Ramrakh Punwar popped the bottle of champagne as the fathers raised a toast to new beginnings. Ajabdeh sipped her drink, eyeing Pratap's smile faintly, acknowledging the stories of their grandfathers starting the business, which he was hearing for the umpteenth time from his father. She wondered as she gulped the drink down how she was supposed to communicate as a team. They barely talked.
“You are leaving at dawn?” Her father’s words made Pratap nod.
“Actually…” She spoke as Pratap glanced over at her. “I was thinking of going tonight. That way I will reach by dawn and…”
“But Ranima is planning a farewell dinner for you two.” Udai Singh frowned just a bit at her suggestion.
“I will talk to her.” Ajabdeh sounded like she had made up her mind. “I need to go fix up the place. Make it… liveable.” Udai Singh nodded. He went on to lament how things were different, and those mansions were still home as long as their mothers were alive.
“You are staying for dinner, at least?” Udai asked his son instead.
“Is it safe for her to take the drive alone at night?” Pratap was glad Ramrakh said it instead of him. He was thinking the same, but he did not want to sound intrusive.
“I will send Bahadur with her.” Udai Singh nodded. “She is the boss. Can we stop her?” He chuckled. “Besides, Bahadur's job is to be the bodyguard of the CEO, huh?” He patted Ajabdeh’s head as she smiled faintly. Pratap inhaled. If it was her attempt at telling him they were going their separate ways, even if their destination was the same, she was successful. He would carefully stay out of her way.
Ajabdeh reached home to find that Heer had managed to pack her belongings and was rechecking the list with the housekeeper.
“I am not going seven seas away to a forestland. If you miss something, you can always send it over.” Ajabdeh made Heer stop checking the list with a sheepish smile.
“I will miss you.” She hugged her sister and surprised her. Ajabdeh patted her head and smiled. “It is only a few days.”
“We have never stayed apart that long, Jija.” She frowned. Ajabdeh agreed. They had not. Hansa interrupted them with a smile.
“What will you do when you two get married and go your separate ways?” She asked as Heer frowned. Ajabdeh lowered her gaze, proceeding to pack her handbag as Heer spoke to her mother. “We will stay in this house.” Her words made Hansa laugh.
“We used to say the same. Your Mausi and I. Now look at us, we barely get to meet once a year.” She sighed. “Ajab, you could stay for dinner?” Ajabdeh shook her head. She wanted to start early. Hansa nodded.
“Be careful there. And if you need anything…”
“Dadabhai will be there; it is not like she will be alone.” Heer interrupted as Ajabdeh picked up her handbag. She was good to go.
Pratap stood on the balcony of his room, looking over the pool and beyond at the room whose curtains were now pulled shut, and lights off. His thoughts travelled to how the entire day went by without them sharing a single word. How were they going to work together? He suddenly remembered how she kept adjusting the pleats of her saree so many times and even stopped, alarmed when he noticed it.
The day of Shakti and Ajabdeh’s school farewell was much anticipated. Pratap offered to drop them off, hoping to see her and perhaps even talk. But Shakti informed him that Jalal was already driving the three of them to the venue. He was on Rukaiya’s supervision duty. Pratap’s parents were going to Sarangpura over some property dispute for two days, and by midday, Pratap was left alone with the house help and guards in their large mansion. He was bored. He thought of asking Jalal if he could accompany them, but there was no way he could talk to Ajabdeh in front of him. So what was the use? Instead, he took a book out of the Punwar library and spent his leisure time reading. It was around midnight that the car was heard near their gates, and Shakti’s voice was recognisable. He put on his night robe over the pyjamas and tee-shirt and walked up to the porch to find Ajabdeh standing there in a blue saree she probably borrowed from her mother with her heels in her hand, along with her designer handbag and Shakti frantically waving Jalal’s not visible car down the road. His brows shot up with a slight frown, questioning gesture as Ajabdeh, who looked amused till now, stared at him, a little aware. She gestured that Shakti was drunk.
“Dadabhai.” Shakti was louder than usual with his wide smile as he ran to hug his brother. Alarmed that he might wake the Punwars, both Pratap and Ajabdeh shushed him.
“What did you have?” Pratap asked with a disapproving tone.
“Have? Umm… food… umm… there was…” Shakti wondered aloud. Ajabdeh’s palm was on her forehead as she gushed, “He meant what you drank. We went to a friend’s place from there. She was hosting the afterparty. I saw him with the Rum, and then I was with…”
“Could you not supervise him?” Pratap’s disapproving voice irked Ajabdeh.
“Excuse me? I was not there to babysit him. Jalal was. I was with Rukaiya, and I am sorry I thought he could handle himself.”
“When has he…” Pratap stopped as Shakti stood between them with his fingers in his ears.
“Urgh, not so loud, guys.” He looked annoyed.
“Come inside right now. I will fix you a hangover drink.” Pratap commanded.
“Ajab?” Shakti turned to Ajabdeh, who was still looking at Pratap with disapproval. “Come with me. Or else he will scold me.” Shakti pouted as Ajabdeh nodded and held his arm.
“I will see who scolds you. Come with me.” She murmured reassuringly.
“What the…” Pratap watched them stomp across the lawn into the house as he frowned a little. They were barely out of school and seemed to have stopped fearing him. He followed them into the kitchen area, where Ajabdeh tucked the end of her saree drape to her waist and took out cold water from the freezer as Shakti sat down in the high chair. Pratap proceeded to give her the ingredients to mix as the sound of the juicer prompted one of the servants to come to their service.
“No, thank you, we will manage.” Pratap dismissed him as he watched Ajabdeh pour the contents of the juicer out on the glass and hold it near Shakti, who looked like he would puke from the smell.
“Drink this and go to sleep.” She had a commanding tone as Pratap watched them. Shakti listened. But he was barely through half the glass when he ran to the nearest restroom due to nausea.
“Should we inform Ranima?” Ajabdeh asked, a little worried as Pratap shook his head.
“Absolutely not.” He shook his head. “It is supposed to work like this.”
“I am sorry.” Ajabdeh looked perplexed. “I didn’t know he would get himself drunk.”
“I wish he acted more mature at times,” Pratap confessed. Ajabdeh shook her head, “He will when he grows up.” Pratap stared at her judgmentally at her words. “You know you are the same age, right?” His words made her smile. “Yes, but girls are more mature than guys their age, it’s a fact.” Pratap was about to say something when he heard Shakti rambling. He was at the threshold and was talking in gibberish about some girl.
“Oh, don’t be such a Devdas.” Ajabdeh snapped. “Big deal, she refused you.”
“But I liked her.” Shakti sulked.
“You like everyone.” Pratap and Ajabdeh said in unison as Ajabdeh chuckled a little.
“You all are my enemies,” Shakti concluded as he sank into the couch.
“Not there. Off you go, to the bedroom.” Pratap shook him to no avail. He stood over his brother’s figure and shook his head. Then he turned to watch Ajabdeh put the heels on.
“I should go too.” She said as she picked up her purse, “Will you be fine taking care of him?”
“Don’t go, don’t leave me. Even Ranima is not home. I am all alone.” Shakti sulked, making Pratap frown. “I am here.” He reminded his kid brother rather irked. Shakti frowned again.
“Don’t leave me with him. Please, Ajabdeh.” He made her chuckle a little before she stopped at Pratap’s glare.
“You can stay if you want.” Pratap offered. Shakti nodded. “See? Let's all have drinks… I mean coffee.” He glanced over at Pratap’s face to study it a little “I swear I meant coffee.”
“I will make some. But you will only have water.” Ajabdeh dropped her bag and heels with a sigh. “It's gonna be a long night.”
It was almost 3 AM when Shakti passed out on the couch, and Pratap and Ajabdeh heaved a sigh of relief. The constant vigilance had worn them out. Pratap poured some now-cold coffee into his mug and gestured at Ajabdeh as she refused a cup.
“So you are looking forward to college?” He asked as she rubbed her hands a little from the cool breeze coming from the large window. She glanced over at him. Was he trying to make polite conversation? A smile appeared on the tip of her lip in amusement and disappeared.
“Umm… why not? There will be new people…and books.” She shrugged. She could notice his glance at her as she cleared her throat, hoping he would look away. Instead, he turned towards her from the window and folded his arms, hoping she would continue. “Umm…” Ajabdeh was at a loss for words. “What about you?”
“I… yes, once I narrow down the university, I am hoping to start an internship at the office too.” He shrugged. “You and Shakti will have a nice time in college.”
“You sure did,” Ajabdeh murmured.
“What?” Pratap’s brows rose as she shook her head. “Nothing, we have a lot of fun anyway, but this year I think…” Ajabdeh glanced over at Shakti’s sleeping figure and smiled. “We have a lot of growing up to do, after all, this is the threshold to something big.”
“Yes indeed.” Pratap agreed. “Jalal was telling me you suggested he take up photography instead of an MBA. He seems excited about it.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice that made Ajabdeh narrow her brows. “He is passionate about it.”
“It is a good hobby. But … I think I have told you this before…” he shrugged. “We have come here with pre-decided purposes. He is to run his company. He is an only child.” Pratap’s words made Ajabdeh press her lips. She wanted to tell him a lot of things, give him a piece of her mind, but she knew that just like her sister, he was a realistic person to whom dreams were just dreams.
“He also told me that you don’t want to go abroad anymore.” She said instead. “I thought that was the pre-decided plan.” Her voice was monotonous yet suspicious, and it suddenly made Pratap’s heart skip a beat. “Why?” She asked again as he looked away briefly. She remembered how he mentioned people having crushes on him in college.
“The plan was for both of us. I don’t want to go alone.” He looked up from the carpet at her. “I don’t want to leave everyone behind.” Ajabdeh’s throat suddenly felt dry as she looked away and found a spot on the windowsill to sit on. Pratap quietly followed her there, contemplating whether to sit opposite her or stay the way he was.
“Everyone leaves people behind.” She said in a distant voice as she looked outside at the silhouette of trees in the orchard. “That is how people move on.” Pratap looked up at her words and smiled faintly. “What if people don’t want to move on?” His words made Ajabdeh narrow her brows again. Was he still in love with Samaira? Was he staying back because of her? She did not need to look at him to understand that he was waiting for her answer.
“Sometimes, no matter how much it hurts, one has no choice.” She looked up at his face, and Pratap could see her eyes sparkle in the starlight as she looked away. The air around him suddenly felt thick and hard to breathe as Samaira’s words came back to him almost like a bolt of thunder. He tried to shrug it off before Ajabdeh observed him.
“I was reading something before you arrived.” He tried to change the subject as he walked across the room to pick up the book from the counter and hand it over to her. Ajabdeh’s brows shot up at the title. “Layli Majnun?” She sounded shocked and amused at the same time. “Isn’t it a …”
“Love story?” He cut her amusement short with his serious tone. “Yes, not like the ones you read.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Ajabdeh felt offended. “How can you judge a book by its cover?” Pratap looked amused at her reaction.
“You liked Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, right?” He asked. Ajabdeh frowned. “Not like that… It's a masterpiece… Layli Majnun is called the Romeo and Juliet of the East.”
“Well, that is where you are wrong.” She watched him push the book into her hand, “You will know why.”
“Tell me now.” She insisted in a childish tone. Pratap smiled. Although she looked quite grown up for her age in the saree and messy bun, her antics often reminded him that she was still in school. She was mature for her age, no doubt, but she was also a dreamer.
“Well.” Pratap sat down beside her to explain. “Do you know about Sufi love?” He had no idea that the conversation would roll into the early hours of the morning, and the first rays of the sun would make both of them realise that they had shared a sleepless night.
“So it is the purest form of love when it is beyond identity or qualities. To Majnun, as he became more delusional and immersed in the idea, Layli became more than a person. She became love personified, the love he worshipped as his god.” He shrugged as Ajabdeh listened keenly.
“Like Meera Bai and her Girdhari? She thought of him as the symbol of her love and treated him like her husband.” Ajabdeh made him nod. “It is so scary to think what love can make you do.” She murmured almost to herself.
“Why scary? It is beautiful.” Pratap felt a little conscious as Ajabdeh’s tired, kohl-smudged eyes suddenly looked up at him. “It takes a lot to love someone without expectations and reciprocation, and not stop if not reciprocated. That kind of love deserves respect.” Ajabdeh suddenly became awkward as he looked right at her with a faint smile as he spoke about it, and she decided to leave.
“Shakti seems fine now. I should go get some rest.” She did not even let him say another word as she picked up her shoes and purse and decided to leave.
“You can come by anytime if you need help with filling out college forms…” He offered as she murmured a thanks before she left.
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