Catching Feelings

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this - Paper Rings.

Sometimes life becomes too good to be true; happy and peaceful, and problems seem to vanish overnight. Usually, that is the calm before the storm life throws at you. Ever since their vacation at Sarang Pura and their eventual return to the city, Ajabdeh couldn’t help but notice a welcome change in Pratap. Not only was he friendly with her since their vacation, but he also spent time with Jalal, Shakti, Heer and her by the pool on lazy afternoons when Jalal strummed his guitar, and Ajabdeh hummed along. Jalal observed that he must be healing from his breakup for the better. Shakti noticed it too, but none of them pointed it out to make him conscious. But Ajabdeh was confused. She was used to his cold aloofness towards her, for as long as she could remember. He wasn’t a fan of her antics, and even his pity was understandable, but she couldn’t quite place what he was doing this time around. At times, when she laughed too much at one of Shakti’s silly antics or Jalal’s dry jokes, she eyed him subtly to find him staring at her laughter. It made her conscious and awkward, and often a knot in her stomach refused to go until she walked away from his following gaze. Could she tell this to anyone without being misunderstood as a daydreamer who still had hope? They were just starting to be friends, and the last thing Ajabdeh needed now was to once again ruin it with emotions! 

She was well aware of Pratap and Jalal’s plan for higher education post-college. Although Samaira was in the same college as them, Jalal often suggested that she now acted like a stranger with Pratap, perhaps hurting him more. He wanted to finish college as soon as possible. Jalal told her they are already looking at universities abroad as planned, but Pratap doesn’t want to go away from home. That meant he would be there for her graduation and finally join the business before she did. The thought of seeing him every day at work had yet to sink in. Ajabdeh often wondered why he chose not to leave home for college like most people did in their circles. Many of them were relieved to get the freedom they found abroad, away from the prying eyes of their parents. When she, out of curiosity, pointed it out to Shakti, he chuckled with a “What is it to you? He’s not staying for you.”

“I am saying he has better opportunities…”

“Maybe he doesn’t trust me with the parents alone, I will become their favourite son.” Shakti’s childishness sometimes annoyed Ajabdeh. She wanted to ask Pratap, but decided against it. 

It was Pratap who brought boxes of books from Sarang Pura with them, and now that Ajabdeh’s grandmother accompanied them home reluctantly, the farmhouse of Sarang Pura would be left empty. That meant even if they did visit on vacation, things wouldn’t be the same. Pratap didn’t want to leave the books his grandmother loved so dearly behind. But homes in the city didn’t have so much space. His stubbornness made Ajabdeh’s parents offer their library to him to keep his books. After all, they didn’t have time to attend to it; if the children did so, they encouraged it. That meant it fell on Ajabdeh to help him bring the books over and arrange them on the shelves of their library. It was then that Pratap suggested they continue reading.

Their reading sessions almost smoothly shifted to the Punwar Library. As if neither of them wanted to let go of it yet. Ajabdeh found it strange how secretive he was with the reading sessions. Whenever Jalal or Shakti made plans for Friday afternoons, he would always say, “Oh, I have a thing.” She gathered that he probably was a private person who was aware of the kind of misinterpretations Jalal and Shakti could make out of them spending time alone, so she played along. The spiral staircase behind their house led to the library room her father had set up, and one could reach there without disturbing the people in the house. Every Friday afternoon, Ajabdeh found herself returning home from school and going about her usual routines, and then, when Heer and Hansa would take their afternoon siestas, she found herself stealing the key to the library room from the bunch of keys Hansa kept in her father’s private study. She would lock the door to her room, careful enough not to wake Heer, and tiptoe down to the back and wait at the staircase for Pratap. 

Pratap, since he was in college, had a car at his disposal. He would drop Jalal home, park the car a few metres from their homes and instead of going home, he would briskly walk into the Punwar’s like he was expected there as the guard saluted him, and walk to where Ajabdeh usually waited with the key in one hand and a book in another. They each took a book and finished it in a week or two, and ended up discussing it every Friday. Sometimes they would recommend books to each other and discuss what they liked in them. Unknown to the other, both of them were clinging to the little bit of memories they could make together, and the library and its stories seemed like a safe place for them.

“College life is nothing like these books.” Pratap shut his half-finished book noisily, making Ajabdeh glance over to his side across the table, raising her head slightly from her reading. “There are mean seniors and people full of attitude.” He grunted. He looked tired after running around the entire day on his assignment, and Ajabdeh frowned slightly.

“Are you alright?” She asked a little unsurely. “I mean college life…” He seemed a little aware of not sharing his issues with her as he nodded with a faint smile. “I mean that college isn’t all rosy romance and…” He stopped as a smile now appeared on Ajabdeh’s lips.

“Did you expect it to be?” Her question made him narrow his brows. It was like she was amused at him. “Of course, life is not a Karan Johar movie where you drive a sports car to college and the hottest girl crushes on you.” She let out a chuckle.

“Really?” He cupped his chin between his fingers and rested his elbow on the table, looking at her keenly. “How do you know that?”

“I mean, look at the depictions of school in movies. School is hell to some of us.” She smiled faintly, shaking her head a little as he looked at her intently.

“I am sorry.” His voice sounded genuine. “We didn’t make life easy for you in school.”

“Oh, I am not bothered about bullies. Everywhere you go in life, there’s some. I am bothered about the education system and its cinematic depictions.” 

Pratap sighed, bracing himself for the long lecture coming his way. This was Ajabdeh in her element. She tied her hair up carelessly in a bun, as she moved the pencil in the air almost like a magic wand, putting forward her points as he listened. The books lay unattended for quite some time as his gaze made her fumble. The knot in her stomach was back, yet she tried to brush it off, avoiding eye contact as she finished her debate.

“So? Am I right?” Her heart made a funny leap as his eyes were still fixed on her. He nodded silently with a faint smile on his lips.

“But it is very high of you to assume that the hottest girl doesn’t crush on me.” His tone was teasing, but Ajabdeh missed that as she frowned, watching him sigh and get back to his book. So he found someone so soon? How was that surprising to her?

“Does she? Good for you.” The formality in her tone made him look up to find her concentrating on her book. Silence filled the room once again.

Jaivanta threw a party for the children the day their exams ended, where Ajabdeh steered clear of Pratap and his friends for most of the time, while Rukaiya needed her attention. Her introverted self was still not used to such events, and it was Jalal who jokingly said Rukaiya had the spirit of a tortoise who crawled back to her shell once she caught sight of any unfamiliar things. Shakti, on the other hand, seemed over-excited for the farewell party due in a week. Ajabdeh knew she just had to follow him there and supervise him because, unknown to the parents, the schoolmates had planned on a cocktail night after the official farewell. 

The fathers suggested that Jalal and Pratap should do their MBAs abroad and help the companies. Humayun was almost boastful of his plans towards the future of the company in Jalal’s hands, and Ajabdeh found his face grim at the idea. Jalal was sitting in a corner adjusting his guitar strings when she approached him with a smile and offered him a drink he refused.

“What’s bothering you?” He looked up at her words, almost surprised as he smiled faintly.

“Who said I am bothered?”

“Your face.” Ajabdeh’s words made him stare as she smiled. “I know you that much. Don’t I? What’s wrong?” Jalal kept aside the guitar and turned his chair to face an empty one, offering her a seat. She sat down facing him, her brows still raised in anticipation as he said, almost amused, “You tell me first, what is going on here.” He eyed Pratap at a distance, giving college advice to Rukaiya, who heard him ardently and back at Ajabdeh, whose ears grew warm.

“Wh…what do you mean?” She managed to fumble.

“Well. He wanted to go to college here instead of in London. I mean, I am thankful he did, but… What’s up?”

“How am I supposed to know…” Ajabdeh shrugged, avoiding his glance.

“Is there nothing going on that makes both of you act so strange around each other lately?” Jalal raised his eyebrows suspiciously as Ajabdeh inhaled.

“Jalalluddin Mohammad! You are seeing things you wish to see.” Jalal shook his head at her words, adding “Not what I wish, but anyway…” She glared at his amused smile as she continued.

 “We have become friends who would perhaps work as a team someday, without killing each other. That is it.”

“Are you sure?” He asked as she nodded firmly. “Your turn?”

“You remember I told you I have a thing for photography?” He asked as she nodded. “I want to learn it professionally.”

“That is great.” Ajabdeh almost jumped from her chair, her eyes twinkling a little. “Then do it, talk to Humayun uncle.” She was about to get up with “I will tell him,” when Jalal stopped her almost in a reflex by holding her hand back. “Don’t!” He sounded alarmed as he let go of her hand, and Ajabdeh stopped with a frown. 

“I was thinking of doing that with the MBA and not letting him…err… know yet. I want to see the prospects of a career before…” Ajabdeh nodded understandingly. 

“And have you chosen a college?” He asked as Ajabdeh nodded. “Shakti did.”

“What about you?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“I am going to be the boss someday.” She made a face that made him smile.”Everyone will follow my orders.”

 “Yes, Boss.” He bowed, making her laugh.

Pratap’s eyes travelled almost involuntarily to watch Ajabdeh laugh at Jalal’s conversation. Although he was nodding his head to Rukaiya’s words, his mind was elsewhere. They had become pretty close lately, and Jalal’s liking towards her wasn’t alien to him. Was something cooking between them? His thoughts were interrupted as Rukaiya stopped with a frown to ask, “Are you listening?”

“Yes.” Pratap nodded, “I think you are right. Go ahead with your plan. All the best.” He seemed to be in a hurry, and Rukaiya thanked him before going to join Heer and Shakti elsewhere. Pratap approached Jalal and Ajabdeh and overheard them talking.

“I will have to marry rich if I have to sustain my lifestyle in that career,” Jalal spoke as Ajabdeh frowned.

“Or you can be the best at what you do, or change your lifestyle.” She suggested.

“Why are you so boring, Punwar? I am giving you the prospect of marrying a photographer someday.” Jalal’s words made Ajabdeh laugh a little awkwardly. 

“Oh!” She shook her head, “Why should I when I am the Boss Lady?”

“Because then you will get your pictures clicked for free, you can have as many portfolios as you need for promotions, plus you can travel the world and make vlogs too!” He raised his brows as she appeared to be thinking.

“Well, I like the sound of that.” She smiled as Jalal, who was fiddling with a tissue paper in his hand, said, “It's a deal then.” 

Before Pratap could react, he saw that Jalal had rolled the paper into the shape of a ring, offering it to Ajabdeh, who laughed as she took it from his hand.

“Hey.” Pratap looked reluctant to get in between the conversation as Ajabdeh and Jalal stopped. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing.” Jalal shook his head as Ajabdeh opened her mouth to tell Pratap his plans, “Just joking around, come sit.”

“No, I am going to see some of the guys off, and Ajabdeh.” Pratap turned to her almost casually. “Your mom has been looking for you everywhere! Go get some food for Dadi.” Ajabdeh sprang up almost like she had forgotten about it and rushed to the food counters as Pratap walked away briskly. Jalal was about to pick up his guitar again when his eyes fell on the grass. He picked up the paper ring that had fallen from Ajabdeh’s lap and smiled at it before putting it in his pocket.