Jalal's Story

I’m hanging on every careless word, hoping they might turn sweet again - Better Man.

Jalalluddin Mohammad was a practical person in his head and heart. He wasn’t someone who would claim lofty ideas of love, put his bet on destiny or blame the Almighty for his misery. He worked hard and had his feet on the ground. Yet it did take time in his rational mind to sink in when Ajabdeh, almost sounding impulsive, asked him if they could give dating a try. She didn’t promise a relationship, love, or the label of being a boyfriend. She just wanted to go out with him and see how it went.  Jalal was no fool; he knew very well that Rukaiya must have told Ajabdeh that he liked her, not that he ever wanted any form of reciprocation. He also knew her timing was impeccable, a month after Pratap left for London. Was she hurting so much? But why all of a sudden would she want him to date her when she already had him around as a friend? Was it a silly attempt at making Pratap jealous? If so, she wouldn’t have hidden it from him. She said she wanted to move on and stop her parents from finding her a match and focus on her work, and didn’t sugarcoat it as an attempt to fall in love, but somewhere, Jalal’s heart had hope for it. He had observed both of them acting quite weirdly ever since Samaira broke up with Pratap. 

Despite asking him a thousand times, Pratap never revealed his last conversation with Samaira or the exact issues of the relationship to him, and Jalal assumed it was because Pratap, who was so used to being the flawless person around, was really at fault this time. He just didn’t want to perhaps admit it even to his best friend. Samaira moved on rather quickly from their two-year relationship and started dating Rohan, while Pratap seemed to be on the edge for quite some time. He wasn’t interested anymore in Jalal’s jamming sessions or cared to sit down for a chat. Everything seemed to irk him. He looked restless, and no matter how much Jalal tried, he could never get it out of him. When he did improve briefly, during the summers, he had, by some miracle, befriended Ajabdeh. Things seemed to be fine for a while. Then Pratap was cold once again. He was even more surprised that Pratap decided to do his MBA course abroad and not together as they had always planned. Was he trying to get away from something? Or someone?

For the time, Pratap dated Samaira during the last two years of his school life. Jalal noticed how Ajabdeh talked of everything under the sun except for Pratap, who was perhaps the first link between them. They had become quite close, especially when Jalal had to spend most of his time alone now that Pratap was busy with Samaira and the gang. He helped Shakti and Ajabdeh with their board examinations and hung out with them most of the time. That way, he could also keep an eye on Rukaiya, who had, according to his observations, developed an unhealthy crush on Shakti and was inevitably going to experience heartbreak. He wanted to be there for her when it happened. The more Pratap got busy with Samaira, the more Jalal started hanging out with Ajabdeh. Bonding with her was easy because they shared a love for music and travelling. 

Soon, he was inviting her to his jamming sessions, and the boys of his band, too, took Ajabdeh’s opinions and criticisms seriously. She was the one who later gave him his first camera and urged him to take photography seriously. He was the one who encouraged her to sing her first solo performance at the school fest. They lifted each other and supported each other. But somewhere in his heart, Jalal knew he did like her more than she would ever like him. A part of him wished he could somehow make her hurt less about Pratap and maybe give them a chance. So, when she wanted to, although Jalal was aware of her reasons, he couldn’t refuse to take a chance of feeling what it would be like to be Ajabdeh Punwar’s boyfriend. 

He was most relieved when Rukaiya seemed to be doing well and getting over Shakti without his intervention. She was smarter and way more practical than he assumed she was. All he wanted now was for one of his mother’s attempts at fixing a match for Rukaiya to pay off; she deserved someone as good as the soul she was. Although their process bothered him because of the constant scrutiny Rukaiya went through, he tried his best to reassure her that she was beautiful inside and out. The more he got busy planning impromptu weekend trips with Shakti and Ajabdeh, or spending time jamming on his favourite songs with Ajabdeh, little did he realise he was spending less and less time with Rukaiya. When he was, Rukaiya seemed to have gotten used to the idea of matchmaking and seemed fine. He wanted her to settle down soon, for he knew she wanted to. But that would also mean that his mother would soon turn her attention to him, and he was the last person who needed that.

Pratap and Samaira’s breakup was rather public, and Jalal had broken the news to Ajabdeh before people started gossiping. He had stared at her face keenly, trying to observe her and figure out what was going through her head. Did she still care? He wished he hadn’t seen any reaction in her eyes that would shatter the hope in his heart, but she instantly looked worried for Pratap, urging him to be a friend and be with him. Oddly enough, for the next few months, he observed how Pratap’s ludicrous behaviour towards everyone he held close increased if he was trying to push everyone away before they hurt him, Jalal included, and Ajabdeh oddly avoided him. Then he struck up a sudden friendship with Ajabdeh, and Jalal once again felt left out. It was when Pratap decided to leave that he had his first conversation with Ajabdeh in months, and Jalal immediately sensed there was something they were both not saying. He didn’t push the matter and decided to be the friend Ajabdeh wanted him to be, while Pratap seemed to be rather excited in his social media posts about his new life at the university.

It was Ajabdeh who spoke about the prospects of a relationship rather transparently. She opened her heart to him over the possibilities of the relationship, if it worked and if it didn’t. It amused Jalal how Ajabdeh always had a list. She had one for them, too, perhaps. But he didn’t ask her about it, for in his head he imagined she would add more cons to it than pros. He didn’t expect Pratap to react the way he did when, one day, as a prank, he told Pratap that he thought Shakti was interested in Heer. He had called Jalal up in the middle of the night and ranted for an hour about how inappropriate the relationship would be if they had a break-up and how awkward things would get for them as family friends and business partners. Jalal gathered that Pratap was still cynical about love and didn’t bother to defend his ideas. A part of him wanted to tell Pratap that he was dating Ajabdeh, but would Ajabdeh like that? They never discussed telling him, nor did Pratap ask about her. So, Jalal let it slip. He gathered that once Pratap was here for the much-hyped wedding of her cousin, he would see for himself. 

Now that the day was here, Jalal was nervous about Pratap’s reaction, and he couldn't tell why. It wasn't like Pratap forbade him from dating her, nor did he take his life decisions for him, but he was sceptical about disappointing his friend. Somewhere deep in him, he feared Ajabdeh’s rejection as well. Jalal knew that the day would come sooner or later when the music would stop, but he didn't want it to be so soon. Maybe a little longer with her could change her heart? He smiled, amused at his tomfoolery. Who was he kidding? Weren’t all these years and all his gestures enough if she could ever love him? He smiled, remembering how Rukaiya, who almost blindly worshipped Ajabdeh since the day she met her, was somehow angry at Jalal’s one-sided attempts to preserve the relationship. Although she never said it out loud to him, Jalal knew her well enough to know that she cared for him enough not to indulge in his agreement to a relationship. She would perhaps be the only one knowing how much he hurt.  Jalal lowered the camera he was fidgeting with, while reminiscing about the thoughts, and looked outside at the garden looking over the window of the room allotted to him. A silhouette appeared to be walking down the garden path towards the orchards, and Jalal could even, blindfold, tell it was Ajabdeh. Of course, she was sleepless that night.