Ajabdeh felt weird. That night for the first time in the last three months they exchanged no words. No texts. No coffees. Nothing. Yet he kept the connecting door wide open, humming a tune and going about his routine like nothing had happened. She was buried in a lot of last-minute check-ups for the morning wedding and his indifference irked her. Did he expect her to apologize? For what? She took a deep breath and resumed work.
Pratap paced his room, humming a tune he couldn't seem to get off his head, acting busy. While he folded his clothes or checked his attire his eyes kept hovering around the door. Was she looking at him? Was she angry? Did Ranima tell her anything? He should apologize. But would a mere sorry be enough? He had never expected Phool would come back to his life with so much drama. But then every time he had imagined her coming back and apologizing, this woman was never in the picture. But she was now. And he realised how things never were the way one imagines them to be. His hands stopped at the coffee mugs. She was too angry. He needed to apologize right. He sat down on the edge of the bed, from where her couch was visible. She had her legs up on the couch. A smile curved his lips. Ranima would call that unroyal. But she looked so comfortable in her surroundings. A pang of sudden guilt worked in him. He had lifted her off her own comfort zone into this life in exchange for a name that perhaps ensured her protection. But what else could he have done? Wasn't Hansa the one who wanted this? He looked up at her again. All these months of knowing her, he couldn't figure out what she wanted, for herself. The little she talked of herself was devoid of the words expectations, wants and wishes. Unlike him, she barely showed her expectation and disappointment as easily. It intimidated him more. Her straight face. His inability to decipher what she was thinking, feeling or planning.
Ajabdeh felt his eyes on her and looked up straight at him. He immediately looked away as though he was busy making his bed. He turned off the lights but left the door open as he crawled into the bed. The light from her room illuminated his side. He didn't know when while rampaging the ideas of apology he fell asleep. Ajabdeh peeped in to see whether or not he was asleep. She then tiptoed to his side of the room and noiselessly took away her coffee mug. It was going to be a long night.
The wedding went as planned. As much as Ajabdeh wanted to share the happiness of her success with everyone she found him keeping his distance. She hadn't told him about her conversation with Jaivanta either. Never had she felt so much information being bottled up inside her. Or was it emotions? Ajabdeh couldn't tell. Shakti congratulated her. Udai blessed her. Jaivanta gave an approving smile when she and Rukaiya were thanked by the couple. Rukaiya was happy that this wedding could fetch them some good clients. Why wasn't Ajabdeh happy? She looked across the crowd at Pratap who looked indifferent talking to some of the guests. He didn't even look in her direction once when the bride thanked her. Why did she expect him to? Ajabdeh cursed her thought. She went back inside with a chilled bottle of water she gulped down in one go. She had excused herself after lunch on the pretext of fetching something from her room. She now had her thoughts clear as she approached the elevator. She needed to call him to the room and have a proper conversation. He was acting too weird.
She placed the keycard on the doorknob and turned it. As soon as she entered the room she stopped. There were a bunch of sunflowers on a vase on the coffee table that wasn't there. Approaching suspiciously she saw a box and a note. Opening the box she smiled. There was a small chocolate cake with "I Am Sorry" on it. She opened the note. It was handwritten.
"I didn't know how to apologize for the big mess I had created yesterday. I didn't do it intentionally and I didn't mean your deal wasn't important. I was just pissed at being wrongly accused. I am sorry. I hope we can share this cake as dessert after lunch and eat and make up for yesterday?" She smiled.
Pratap opened the door of his room and placed his watch and wallet down on the dresser. He loosened the buttons of his Bandhgala and felt like he could breathe again. After a really long time, he attended a wedding. He failed to understand how the rituals went on for so long. He had received a text that had made him smile. As the crowd began to disperse post lunch to get rest for the last and final event in the evening, the reception party, he excused himself and was here.
He peeped into her room to see her in her Pajamas. He had never seen her in her pyjamas during day time. His questioning eyes were met with a shrug.
"Rukaiya has the reception duty." She looked relaxed. "I am just an attendee. She insisted I shouldn't boss her around." She sulked "Not that I ever boss anyone around."
"I am sure you don't." He had a hint of sarcasm in his voice that made her narrow her eyes. "You just give people a good cold stare."
She didn't protest. Instead, her eyes lit up in a smile. None of them said it but they knew there was a lot to talk of.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" She asked settling down in the middle of her bed as he sat on the couch. He looked surprised.
"You mean at the theatre?" He asked.
"No silly. Netflix and cake." She pointed.
"Oh, I thought nothing was left of it for me." He smiled. "Wine?"
"We can't charge that on them." She said alarmed.
"It's on me. For your big success." There was a hint of pride in his voice that Ajabdeh liked. She nodded.
They were gorging on the cake, from the box itself with two forks, talking and commenting on the movie scene when the waiter arrived with the wine. Pratap took it in and turned to see her on the bed, licking the chocolates that had melted on her fingers.
"If Ranima saw this unroyal way of murdering a cake she would faint." Pratap smiled. He was about to open the wine bottle when Ajabdeh stopped him.
"There is something else that happened yesterday." She smiled. His eyes were questioning.
"Ranisa congratulated me and said I can call her Ranima." Her eyes shone with excitement and emotion as she said it.
Pratap was genuinely happy that the tension at home had been subdued. Truth be told he never liked the way Ranima behaved coldly with them ever since that day. He missed the warmth of home.
"This is great news." He said holding her hand in his. "You did it."
It wasn't long before he realised that her hand was in his on her bed nearby. He let go.
"Let me pour some wine on this occasion then." He smiled concentrating on the glasses. "And you owe me a treat." He added, "At a place I choose."
"Done." She readily agreed. "I will ask Shakti when he's free and we can go."
For a moment Pratap wanted to say he didn't mention Shakti. He was hoping to dine out with her. They had never been on any outing alone. He had been on dates with his past girlfriends and even on vacations with Phool. Something he never shared with Ajabdeh. Yet. Pratap smiled to himself watching her laugh at a scene in the movie. Life is too long. And this was just the beginning of a journey. Something told him this was going to be a long one. So he was in no hurry to rush anything with Ajabdeh.
Over the past few months, their relationship had blossomed into a deep friendship. They waited for each other at the end of the day to share their good and bad, achievements and insecurities. Their conversations had grown from business talks to about their childhood and families. And the distances over the last one month made him realise he missed having her around. She had become a habit. A face he expected to see at the end of the day. He liked that feeling even though he hadn't quite placed what it was yet. Perhaps attachment to a habit.
Ajabdeh was getting ready for the reception when Shakti came knocking at her door. Pratap peeped in at his voice and he duly ignored his sibling to show Ajabdeh the two options he had for the evening. Shakti did notice the bouquet on the table but didn't enquire about it.
"You aren't ready yet?" Pratap shook his head. "Are you ever on time?" Shakti ignored his presence as Ajabdeh scrutinized the attire and picked one out for him.
"Thank you. You look beautiful in that dress by the way."
"Thank you for appreciating my efforts to dress up." She smiled.
Picking up her purse she looked over her shoulder at Pratap. He waved as she left.
Ajabdeh sat near the bar counter with Jacob as Rukaiya looked after the event. "She is turning into you." Jacob smiled.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ajabdeh asked, "Do you want to get fired?"
He laughed at that. "That. That is exactly what I mean." She shook her head and walked off to a secluded part of the lawn separated from the rest by a hedge. There was a garden bench there and Ajabdeh sat down and looked up at the rustling leaves of the tree above her head.
"Oh, she bagged quite a fortune."
"Indeed. Such an average-looking girl like her."
"I bet he fell for her seduction."
"Oh did you see how tanned she is?"
"What are you saying? That's her skin colour." A group of ladies were gossiping and giggling just on the other side of the hedge. Ajabdeh shook her head.
" After all she is not a royal." Someone said
"Oh, but she is. Of a much lower rank of course. Bijoliya."
"Where on earth is that now Aunty?"
Ajabdeh listened alarmed. They were talking about her. That was a first. She remembered Shakti's words. Don't let them get to you. She inhaled. But somehow she was fixed to her spot. As much as she wanted to get up and walk away, her curiosity grew.
"He had frankly run out of options after whatever happened with Phool."
"Oh yes. She said he had anger management issues. He could very well be a potential domestic abuser." A gasp went around.
"Really?" They sounded alarmed "You can't tell by seeing people."
Ajabdeh clenched her jaws. Not only were they very expectedly questioning her intentions, but they also had an image of Pratap that was far from true.
" Heard they ran away and got married."
"Obviously. Jaivanta would never approve of her wholeheartedly. She doesn't belong to our circle."
Ajabdeh suddenly felt claustrophobic. Clinging to her purse she walked away through the winding garden path. Away from the party. To the poolside. Her hands shivered a little as she dialled a number.
"Baisa?" Sajja asked worriedly. "Are you okay?"
"Sajja ma. " She sounded like she would cry.
"What happened, my dear? Are you alright?"
"Yes." She lied "Everyone's talking of…"
"You." Sajja seemed calm "I know." She breathed into the phone. "Look child, the more you pay attention to them the more they will affect you and rumours will be considered truth. Some things come as part and parcel of life. These are just…"
"But… but they are right Sajja Ma." She looked pale in her own reflections as she sat by the water. "I don't belong to the circle."
"And why does it matter to you?" She asked. Ajabdeh was tongue-tied. " If Kunwarsa doesn't care, he is happy with you, why do you care? These random people don't know your life." Ajabdeh nodded. She gulped and blinked a few times rapidly to make the coming tears go away.
" Nothing matters more than what Kunwarsa and you feel. Baisa, it's you two who make this work. Not the rest of the world."
"How do you sound so sorted Sajja ma?" She asked, surprised.
"It is part of my job dear." She smiled.
"So you are telling me what I want to hear?" She asked.
"Absolutely not." Sajja added " I have never seen Kunwarsa this content with someone. And I mean it." Ajabdeh sighed. She disconnected the call thanking Sajja and calling up Heer.
"Jija. Aren't you at the big wedding?" She asked, surprised. "I was going to call you tomorrow."
"I just called to say I miss you." Ajabdeh smiled. "I miss home too."
"Are you alright Jija?" She asked, a bit concerned.
"I am." She smiled. "I got to go now. Don't worry."
She was about to leave the poolside through the garden path when she spotted Jaiwanta approach her. Ajabdeh forced a smile.
"Are you alright?" Jaivanta's words of concern surprised her. She nodded.
"I was hoping to talk to you about something before we went home and started over." She said, indicating one of the garden benches. Ajabdeh nodded and sat down at one end as Jaivanta sat on the other.
"You see Ajabdeh." Jaivanta cleared her throat. "I am a bit traditional. I had an orthodox upbringing and not much exposure to the world before I got married. I handled most of my businesses and charity as Udai directed and I barely had a mind of my own. I was taught that's how it should be. But times have changed and you, children think differently. I know that." She paused to look at Ajabdeh who nodded. "So there are a few things I want to tell you about the Sisodiya house." Ajabdeh inhaled. She sensed this was something serious and bad. Jaivanta decided to talk to her because she knew talking to Pratap would be futile.
"You see, the reason for marriage is simple. Partnership and procreation. For clans like ours who have survived ages first through war, then through building a business empire, it is most important to ensure an heir to the clan. God forbid if something was to happen and we are left heirless, the business and family properties that have been ours through ages will pass hands. We won't want that. You understand?" She asked. Ajabdeh nodded.
"You can take your time. Two years should be enough. But by your second anniversary, everyone will be expecting some good news." Ajabdeh looked alarmed at her words. Three months into the marriage and only knew Pratap enough to barely call him a friend she was expected to conceive.
"But I…" she wanted to speak her mind. She wanted to tell her about her priorities.
"I know you are ambitious and career-oriented. It is okay. You can obviously continue with work. Once you have the child we have a palace system to take care of him. I am there, so is Sajja and we hire nannies…" Ajabdeh felt a sudden hot flush on her skin. She remembered how her mother always said children should be planned only when someone was ready to be a parent.
"We need to run some tests on you. It's just protocol. To check if you are fit and fine. Nothing alarming." Jaivanta smiled. "It's a normal procedure. I will contact the family doctor and fix an appointment and you can go with Sajja. And you don't need to share this conversation with Pratap. He overreacts." Jaivanta got up as though she had had the last word and gracefully walked away. Ajabdeh sat there blankly for a moment.
A day before she was nobody. And now suddenly the weight of producing an heir was on her. Did she even want it? She never pictured a family. She never pictured them in the future honestly. She thought genuinely that Jaivanta's words would come true. Sooner or later Pratap would realize she wasn't worthy of him. And he would do the right thing. It was a different thing that she didn't take the term worthy as they did. If they had asked Ajabdeh a few years back, she would have said someone who made a living on his own than under the wings of a name, would perhaps be worthy of her. According to that Ajabdeh perhaps Pratap wasn't that. But what about this Ajabdeh? She felt suffocated again. As though there was a tight restraint on her chest making it hard for her to breathe. So many insecurities clouded her mind. She turned to walk towards the crowded party.
It took Pratap one glance to know something was wrong with her. He had even asked her in gesture when their eyes met. She shook her head and forced a smile. Only her smile didn't reach her eyes. He was worried. He pulled her aside when the crowd began to disperse and asked in a genuine voice of concern, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am." She lied "This is just stress. I need to rest."
"You are going home tomorrow and taking a few days off." It sounded more like an order much to her dislike.
"I can't. A night's rest will be fine." She looked away. "Excuse me." Pratap watched her go. He realised she wasn't sharing something and he had no idea what it was.
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