He
walked into the dark, empty apartment, loosening his tie and looking stressed.
The workday was really hard, and the weekend seemed far away. He put the key down
and opened his boots. He opened his socks and threw one to his left and
the other to his right. Then he remembered, if you don’t keep your socks with your shoes, how will you find them tomorrow? A
smile appeared on his stressed face as he picked up his scattered socks and
placed them in his shoes.
He walked into the dark bedroom and
switched on the dim lights. She had always loved the dim-lit rooms. He had
learnt to live without lights now. Sitting at his bedside table was her ever-smiling face. He put his watch beside her picture.
“Happy
Birthday, Tinni.” He was smiling at her with a cake in hand. Her face lit up at
the surprise. “Thank you, Dev, I thought tumi bhule gecho.” ( I thought you forgot) He hugged her, “No
matter how busy I am, I will never forget your birthday ever in my life. What
gift do you want?”
“Let’s
go on a vacation, Dev, away from the city, somewhere quiet.”
”
As soon as I get my promotion, we can go.”
“You
and your work, I feel so lonely.” She was sad.
“
It’s only three more months, please wait, baby.”
She could never have that holiday. The
next month, that accident. It was all over.
He looked at the calendar. The date was
marked in a red circle. Her birthday, without her, for the first time. He picked
up his phone.
“ Hello, Vishal Tours and Travels? I want
a ticket to Manali. Yes, for one. The day after tomorrow. Yes, for two days. And a
hotel booking…”
He went into the kitchen. Opened the
fridge. He always had leftovers for dinner. He closed the fridge door. Promise me you will always spend my birthday
happily, even when I am not there. He was angry that day at her. Today, that
thought came like an arrow and filled his eyes. He wiped away the tears
quickly. Picking up the phone, he ordered. “One pizza, Medium, extra cheese. One
chocolate cake, small. That will be all."
He sat in the dark bedroom with a beer
in hand. Her laughter, her smell, her memories. That corner where she read her
books, the writing desk where she made beautiful cards, the wardrobe full of
her dresses. She would always say I need
another wardrobe for my shoes and bags. “ Or you can stop buying them.” He
would tease.
He walked up to the wardrobe and opened
it. He took out a scarf. Do you know what
this is, Dev? The first gift you gave me in school. He kissed it. And broke
down. Never in the last few months had he cried so loudly, how much it must have
hurt. The phone rang. He wiped away his tears and picked up.
“ Hello?”
“It’s me, Babu, Ki korchish?” (What are you doing, babu?)
“Maa, I'm fine. I just ordered pizza.”
“Babu… ami ki aj jabo?” (Should I go to meet you?)
“Am fine, Maa, am celebrating Rini’s
birthday.”
“Tinni’r ma esche amar bari aj.” (Rini's Mom came home today)
“You want me to go?”
“Naa, toke janateo boleni. Aj eka
thakte chaichilo na tai …” (No, she told me not to inform you, she did not want to be alone today)
“Okay, maa, you two take care.”
He put down the phone, and the bell
rang.
The Pizza delivery guy came. He took
the delivery.
He sat at the table. Opened the small
cake. Took out a matchstick. Setting it, he quickly blew it off and whispered, “
Happy birthday, Tinni.” He had a piece of cake.
He got so drunk that he could
remember nothing, but the more he tried, the more it hurt him. Her laughter
and Dev played in his mind all night.
He could not get a wink of sleep. He could not pick himself up as he lay on
the floor, and tears rolled down his face.
He woke up with a heavy head. Her
things lay scattered all around him. He called his Boss, “ I need a holiday till
Monday, sir. Tinni wanted a holiday … “
“Dev, are you ok? Tinni could not…”
“Last year, Tinni wanted a vacation on
her birthday; yesterday was her …”
“Okay, go…”
He was packing his bag. Her words
played in his mind. Don’t forget your
shaving kit. Take your purse. Keep an extra pair of socks. He took out her
pocket diary. She always kept a list of what to pack on trips. He checked the
list, ticked the things and closed the suitcase.
In the elevator, he met his friend and
another flat owner, Anil, with his wife.
“Where are you off to?”
“Manali. Tinni wanted a holiday there. I
promised her we would go after my promotions.”
“Dev, are you…?”
“ Yes, I'm okay, Anil. She helps me
survive. Everything I do, from what I wear to what I eat, her voice is in my
head; she guides me. I know I sound crazy…”
“ Are you happy with this, Dev? Her
voice in your head?”
“I am content, Anil. It’s like she is
around me all the time, in everything I do. Just like she was since our teens.”
“Then don’t worry about what people
will think.”
“And sometimes when the thoughts hurt, I
remember she did not want me to suffer.”
They waved at each other, and Anil got
out on his floor with his wife.
“Your friend Dev…”
“Tinni lived her whole life compromising
her happiness for him; he never noticed it. Today, when she is not there, he
lives his life for her.” Anil told his wife.
With a smile on his face and a bag full of
memories beside him, Dev was on his way to the railway station. He called his
mother to inform her that he is on a trip for a few days. He cut the phone and closed
his eyes. He felt her hand grab his arm, and her head on his shoulder; she was
smiling.
“Dada pouche gechen.” ( We have reached Dada)
He opened his eyes, and he was alone.
Paying the fare, he picked up his luggage and made his way toward the platform.
