“I… made tomorrow’s schedule.” Bondita cleared her throat. She was about to leave the study room after she had made the next day’s schedule for Aniruddha to check when he entered the house. He seemed preoccupied, as he did not notice her presence and walked towards the study room, only to stop at the threshold and spot her pretending to arrange the files. Aniruddha moved away from the threshold towards his desk, making space for her to leave as he removed his glasses and placed them down.
“You should take that job in Kolkata.” Bondita stopped but did not turn as he continued. “It's a good opportunity to make contacts in the High Court and get paid well.” Bondita’s throat dried as she did not respond. “Thamma can stay here, you can visit on weekends.”
He wanted her to leave; what more could she say? She walked away without exchanging any words. Aniruddha sat in the high chair, watching her leave as he sighed. He clasped his hands together, realising they were sweaty. He suddenly felt hot and sweaty and walked up to the window to open it. A gust of wind hit his face, making him realise spring was around the corner. He was sure he had pushed her away enough to make her leave again. This time, he acknowledged it was his choice. It was for her best not to be entangled in his cursed life. What would she benefit from him? A career at a district court? Taking care of a family that was not hers to begin with? Indulging in his expectations, which he had no right over? Aniruddha knew that although Bondita pretended otherwise, she was rattled by how Som addressed her. She had it in her mind that she was nobody, not enough to question him about his aloofness. The old Bondita would demand to know why he was being rude and cold. The new Bondita did not seem to care. As if she expected nothing more. Aniruddha suddenly felt a heaviness in his chest as he drank some water from the glass. It did not help. He let the music drown out his thoughts as he put on his headphones and decided to work. The radio was playing the latest hits.
Kaise Bataye Kyun Tujhko Chahe Yaara Bata Na Paaye
Baatein Dilo ki Dekho Jo Baaki, Akhein Tujhe Samjhaaye… Tu Jaane Na…
Bondita sat on her bed and breathed heavily. She had run home from the study room, hoping not to let her tears fall before she reached her room. Her hands clasped the bedsheet as she ground her teeth to make sure she did not sob aloud. It was a bad idea to come back. She should have stayed back in Kolkata because, no matter what he said in his vulnerability, he made it amply clear that he did not like having her around. It seemed now that he wanted an excuse to get her back to Kolkata and found it in Debarghya. For the first time, his words made it feel like he hated her. His actions felt cold and calculated. He was not the man she knew. She could not understand what she had done wrong to get this kind of treatment from him. There was no point going over it. But Bondita was a woman of her word. She was stubborn enough to prove to Aniruddha that she kept her promises even if he wanted otherwise. She would not disappear from his life again; she had promised him she wouldn’t. Even if he could not stand having her around. Her blurry eyes fell on the desk where the pamphlet Trilochon had handed her was. She stood up and walked up to it, wiping the teardrops from her cheeks. The places and dates of programmes were all in it. The nearest one was in Alamethi. Bondita ran her finger over the name and picture of the Santhal village.
Should she go back? Could she? A part of her wanted to mend old ties. No matter how it was, it was home, where her parents' memories were, where she had a childhood. A place where she still had her blood family. She knew Thamma would be scared about her going there. But Bondita was tired of running. She sat down to write a resignation letter. She would not delay it any longer.
Aniruddha was summoned to Trilochon’s room early in the morning, even before he managed to bathe. Aniruddha assumed Bondita had told him about leaving, and he was being summoned to talk about the matter. Aniruddha had thought it through; he would convince Trilochon that it was the best career move for her than being stuck in the district court of Chandannagar with him. But when he entered Trilochon’s room, he was surprised to see a box of jewellery with its contents out on his bed while he made a list. Trilochon looked up as he entered and put the list away.
“I needed to talk to you about something since you are the eldest.” Aniruddha nodded as Trilochon gestured at him to take a seat. He took the chair and waited as Trilochon put the jewellery back in the box. Aniruddha eyed a pair of earrings and wondered aloud, “Those belong to Ma.” Trilochon nodded with a smile. “It all does. Belongs to her and your grandmother.”
“I see.” Aniruddha looked unsure.
“Look, I will talk straight with you. I did not like how you and Som fought…” He shook his head as Aniruddha interrupted, “We know, it was stupid, it won’t happen again.”
“Well, I don’t want to wait till something bigger happens or worse, I am not there when it happens.” Trilochon looked troubled as Aniruddha protested.
“Listen to me.” Trilochon did not let him. “Your mother instructed me to divide her jewellery among her three daughters-in-law.” Aniruddha stopped at his words.
“I want to make a Will of three shares, give Som’s to Asha Bouma, keep Batuk’s share for his wedding and give your share to you. In case of my absence, I want Bondita to make sure Batuk’s share reaches his bride.” Aniruddha looked up at his words.
“Why is she not part of the share?” his question startled Trilochon.
“Your mother was specific about whom she wanted to possess her things.”
“Yes”, Aniruddha nodded, “But she did not know her. Had she known…”
“Look.” Trilochon shook his head, “I have her instruction, and am bound to do what I was instructed to do.”
Aniruddha looked amused. “What will I do with women’s jewellery?”
“You are entitled to your share.” Trilochon eyed him, “Whether you give me the happiness to see you married or not.” Aniruddha stood up. “ Then give my share away.”
“Give it away?” Trilochon raised his brows in disbelief. “To whom?”
“I don’t know.” Aniruddha shrugged. “To… Bondita?” Trilochon eyed his nephew as Kalindi’s accusations about his intentions came to his mind.
“Why will I give away our heirlooms to Bondita?” Trilochon stood up. “When she gets married, I will make sure she has all the jewellery she wishes for.”
“Well, she will have more use of it than I…” Aniruddha put his hands in the pockets of his lounge pants as Trilochon glared at him. “She would like to have something belonging to Ma; she will honour it.” He stopped at Trilochon’s stare and looked away. Trilochon sighed.
“I am making a Will, giving your share to you, and you can give it to whoever you want.” Aniruddha missed the suggestive tone in Trilochon’s voice as he suppressed a smile. “Do you understand?”
“I don’t think I can make the Will if I am one of the beneficiaries.” He shook his head. “You should let Bondita do it.” Trilochon nodded at his suggestion. Aniruddha walked away from the room as Trilochon eyed him. Was Kalindi right about Aniruddha’s feelings?
Bondita barged into the room, dressed for work, as Trilochon looked up from his newspaper. “I have decided. I will leave…” Trilochon folded the newspaper as he asked, “What? Where?” Bondita frowned.
“To Alamethi, you said…” Trilochon looked a little confused.
“You told Aniruddha?” He seemed to be in shock. “He allowed you to leave?” Bondita looked irked but was quick to hide it.
“Why will he allow me to do anything? It's my choice.” Trilochon stood up, eyeing her, “Did you two fight?” Bondita looked a little startled at his accusation and shook her head. “No, why will… Did he tell you something?” She narrowed her brows suspiciously. Trilochon raised his brows and shook his head. “No, he did not. I assume it will take some persuasion for you to go to Alamethi. Kalindi and he will not like it.” Bondita’s jaws tightened as she watched him pace the room with his hands behind him.
“I am not asking anyone’s permission. You told me to go; that is enough.” That made Trilochon look alarmed.
“Ma, you will land me in trouble.” Trilochon shook his head. “I only suggested a few…” He stopped. “But how can you go without letting Aniruddha know? You need holidays for…” Bondita waved an envelope in the air, making him stop.
“I am quitting. I will take up the NGO thing as a full-time job.”
“What?” Trilochon almost gasped. “It won’t even pay you half of what he will.”
“I am aware.” Bondita nodded. “I want to do this.”
“Your Thamma will say you need the money.” Trilochon reminded her gently.
“And I need my peace of mind.” Bondita bit her lip as Trilochon glanced at her. She added, “I don’t want to do a job that doesn’t make me feel like I am contributing something meaningful.” Trilochon smiled as he shook his head. He could not help but remember how she sounded like Aniruddha did some odd ten years back. “Fine, I will ask someone to make arrangements. You remember the village Pradhan?” Bondita looked a little pale as she nodded, “he is the one who…”
“Well, his sons live in Bangalore and Noida. They have sold off the house in Sonakhali to me. I was thinking of turning it into a guest house…” He seemed to wonder aloud. “I will tell the caretaker to arrange for you to stay there. The men from the NGO and my party will ensure your safety.”
“Jyatha Moshai.” Bondita seemed reluctant. “I want to meet my family.”
“Did they also not…” Trilochon frowned. Bondita nodded. “They were compelled, but Kaka did shelter Thamma and me when we had nowhere to go.” She lowered her gaze and inhaled. “I need to see them once.”
“Are you asking for my permission?” Trilochon stopped pacing as she shook her head.
“I am just wondering… If I am making the right choice by going back.” Bondita made Trilochon smile as he patted her head. “You are brave, Ma. I know you can face the people and proudly say you fulfilled your dreams and they were wrong.” Bondita smiled, a little overwhelmed.
“It is good, you can come back home over weekends or have time off in between schedules…” Trilochon nodded. “Kalindi and I will get more time with you.” Bondita nodded.
“And this time, don’t leave without telling Aniruddha; he was so disappointed last time.” Trilochon eyed a disbelieving stare from Bondita. “You can tell him now, he is in his room.” Trilochon urged. “He was here just a while ago…” Bondita looked hesitant as he proceeded to tell her about the Will he wanted to make. She agreed to help.
“Give me the list of items, and I will get to work.”
“And talk to Aniruddha once. He wanted to give you his share.” Bondita’s heart skipped a beat as she looked up at Trilochon, a little confused.
“Why would he do that?” Trilochon shrugged, eyeing her pale face with a hint of amusement. She reacted the way he expected her to. But unlike Kalindi, who seemed disturbed by the idea, Trilochon embraced it for two reasons. One was his lifelong dream of seeing Aniruddha settled; who else could tame him if not Bondita? The second reason was more personal, a latent desire to establish a relationship between the Roy Chowdhury and Das families, a hope of having any kind of relationship that would keep Kalindi close for the rest of their lives. What would Binoy say? Trilochon stopped his amused thoughts from running ahead as he watched Bondita, who still stood frozen in her spot, looking confused.
“You can ask him why he wants to give you his mother’s jewellery.” Trilochon pushed his agenda suggestively. Bondita shook her head.
“I know why; he pities me.” She snapped. “Tell him I want nothing from him.” She shook her head. Trilochon’s heart skipped a beat, for in that moment, he saw a glimpse of the stubbornness Kalindi had in her. Once a thought established its roots in her mind, it was impossible to sway her from it.
“Tell him that yourself when you hand in your resignation in person.” Trilochon watched her grip on the envelope tighten as she walked out of his room and headed towards Aniruddha’s. Trilochon discreetly walked to the threshold of his room as he watched Bondita knock on his door thrice.
“Thank God, Bihari, I can’t find…” Aniruddha stood in the middle of the room, in his wet hair, vest and towel, with a shirt in his hand that was missing a button. His things seemed a little scattered as he expected Koeli at the door with an ironed shirt, but Bondita’s eyes widened at the mess he had created in his room. There were discarded papers scattered around the bin, the desk was stacked with paperwork, the bed sheet was wrinkled, the pillows were on the floor, and clothes were heaped on the bed. His window, which looked over her house, remained closed, making the room feel stuffy. Aniruddha was a little startled to find Bondita there, and Bondita looked shocked at the state of the room as she tried hard to ignore looking at him. Aniruddha was suddenly aware of his towel as he picked up his pants to head to the washroom.
“You… what are you doing here?” He asked with a hint of surprise. Bondita eyed him because his voice lacked the irritation with which he talked to her lately. Bondita inhaled as he turned towards the washroom, and she picked up the shirt he had discarded on the floor. Aniruddha wondered what made her come to his room as he changed into his pants and stepped out of the washroom to find her on the edge of the bed, mending the button on the discarded shirt.
“Koeli will…” He protested feebly.
“I can, too.” She did not look up as she bit the string to detach it from the needle and knotted it. “Here, you can use this.” She handed the shirt as he murmured thanks, avoiding a glance as she straightened her waistcoat and the bedsheet and opened the window. A heap of paper was scattered across the room as Aniruddha looked alarmed at the sudden gust of wind.
“Bondita!” He stopped buttoning the shirt and started collecting the papers. Bondita murmured an apology as she arranged the desk in a hurry. He was kneeling on the floor as he eyed her by the desk, straightening the picture of her with the brothers that he had toppled over when Trilochon walked back into his room. He placed the papers down and eyed the envelope in her hand.
“What is that?” He asked, leaning to check as the scent of his soap reached Bondita. Her eyes involuntarily travelled to his open-top buttons as she looked away. She stiffened, making him straighten himself and step away as she tightened her jaw and breathed in, “My resignation.” He stopped buttoning his shirt, and his heart skipped a beat as he eyed her grim face, looking at the envelope in her hand. Aniruddha forced a smile.
“So you took the offer so soon…” He sounded surprised. “Debarghya insisted?” He took the envelope and placed it carelessly on his desk without opening it. Bondita turned to leave but stopped to pick up the pillows from the floor. He placed his hand in his trouser pocket, his shirt buttoned but not tucked in, as he turned to watch her and something churned in his stomach.
“You… found a place to stay in Kolkata?” She stopped folding his discarded clothes and looked up. “I am not going to Kolkata. I told him I was not interested.” Aniruddha frowned. “Then what…” She dropped the clothes as the clock struck eight and was about to leave. Aniruddha, in a reflex, was about to block her way when she said, “And I don’t need your pity. You should keep your mother’s jewellery.” She made him frown as he shook his head and opened his mouth. “Wha…Jethu…”
“I don’t have any use for it. I am going to Alamethi.” She walked down the stairs towards the study, and he looked a little shocked and followed her.
“What? Why will you go to Alamethi?” He followed her into the study.
Trilochon shook his head, seeing Aniruddha run down the corridor after Bondita as Asha brought him milk. Asha noticed his amused glance follow them as he stopped at her observation and sat down with the newspaper again. Asha stared back at the study where they seemed to be arguing. She entered Trilochon’s room and cleared her throat.
“Are they fighting?” She looked unsure as he looked up. “Who?”
“Dadabhai and Bondita.” Asha looked unsure.
“Oh, they will come around.” Trilochon looked amused. Asha was unsure of what more to ask as she cleared her throat again. “Should I… intervene?” Trilochon picked up the paper and shook his head.
“Bouma, I don’t think you will like it if she intervenes in your argument with Som.” Asha’s eyes widened as Trilochon added. “Neither will you interfere with Aniruddha and Som fighting, you know what I mean.” He shrugged.
“Yes, of course.” Asha pressed her lips with half a smile. Trilochon caught her as she turned to leave.
“Answer me.” He stopped a few feet away as Bondita felt cornered between the desk and him.
“What is this about… going back?” He frowned. “Why will you not go to Kolkata?” Bondita inhaled.
“Because I want to come back from work to take care of Thamma and Jyatha Moshai whenever they need me.” She seemed angry, “I am not leaving again, even if you want me to. I have my responsibilities…” Aniruddha seemed a little confused.
“But you said you are going to Alamethi.” Bondita frowned at his words.
“Yes, for a few days.” She shrugged as he let out a sigh of relief and licked his dry lips. “Then I will stay here and work for an NGO.” Aniruddha frowned.
“I think the Kolkata offer was good for your career.” He tried hard so that his voice would not tremble. “Don’t you understand…”
“I don’t abandon people for that…” Bondita made him look up at her words as she looked away.
“Then why did you resign?” he inquired.
“Because you don’t want me working with you.” She snapped.
“What? When did I say that?” Aniruddha frowned. “The Kolkata offer paid better… So I…”
“Jyatha Moshai offered me a job at an NGO that works in villages.” She interrupted.
“Did he? Why do I not know of this?” he taunted.
“You know now.” Bondita shrugged indifferently, straightening her waistcoat over her shirt. Aniruddha could not take her tone.
“And you had no place to go in the world except Alamethi?” He taunted, “You are not going there.” His commanding tone made Bondita angry.
“And why should I listen to you? It's my choice. I am not your slave.”
“You will listen to me because it is not safe for you to go there.” Aniruddha pointed his finger at her. “You know that very well, Bondita.”
“Jyatha Moshai will keep me safe.” She retorted.
“If you are stubborn, so am I.” Aniruddha shook his head. “I will make sure you are not going.”
“And how will you do that? Tie me up?” Bondita sounded sarcastic.
“I will go ask Thamma if she thinks it's a good idea.” He turned as she ran to block the threshold. “You will not do that. I will talk to her.”
“You resigned without telling her about Alamethi?” He gasped. “I will not accept the resignation.”
“What?” Bondita stammered. “What kind of unprofessional behaviour is this?”
“My firm, my will if I don’t accept your resignation.” He shrugged, folding his arms to his chest as Bondita eyed him, confused. “What is your problem?” She snapped. “I want to go home.”
“You are home. You want to go to a place where people can hurt you.” Aniruddha said calmly. “I can’t let you…”
“Oh, I can be hurt here also.” Bondita bit her lower lip as she looked away, and Aniruddha looked awkward. “You… you know what I mean… the villagers…” He stammered.
“Jyatha Moshai said, if I am not wrong, why should I run away?” She looked up at him as his jaws tightened. “He is right.” She said in a low voice. “I am tired of running.”
“There is no way you are going back alone.” His words made her heart skip a beat. He shook his head. Bondita was suddenly overwhelmed by his tone of protectiveness that she had missed. She tried hard to hold her composure as she said, “I will, this is my job.”
“You may still need help,” he shrugged. Bondita smiled faintly. “Yes indeed.” Aniruddha stared at her eyes, which sparkled as she looked away. “ If I need help, I will ask someone for it. Please don’t bother.” Her tone hit Aniruddha as he smiled faintly. “I guess you have other people to call when in need, then…”
“I do.” She snapped as she returned to collect some paperwork. “You are getting late …”
Aniruddha stood at the threshold, watching her as he ran his hand through his dry stubble. Bondita collected the paperwork and was about to leave. “See you at work.” Aniruddha eyed her as a faint smile appeared on his face. He shook his head, hopeless about what more he could do. He tried everything, and it did not work. She seemed adamant about being present around him. Aniruddha wondered if she did that purposefully for him or if he was putting more importance on his presence in her life and her promise than he should. She was ready to accept a demotion in her career to stay at home because she thought he did not want her to work for him. How could he make her understand…
