Aniruddha tapped his black loafers on the Italian marble floor of the entrance as he eyed his watch. It was almost half past five. He checked himself in the full-size mirror beside the coat hanger, looking fresh as he shaved and bathed, set his hair, chose a white summer blazer over his black shirt and trousers and abandoned the idea of a tie. He cleaned his glasses with the handkerchief, contemplating whether he should knock at Asha’s door, telling Bondita to hurry. He wondered what the women were doing there for such a long time. He could hear them giggling and gossiping as he walked past the room. He wondered what huge deal a party was that a woman needed another to help her dress up. He took out his phone and wondered if he should call her downstairs instead to avoid the awkwardness of knocking on the door. It was then that Aniruddha heard footsteps on the stairs and looked up in a reflex. He would give her a piece of his mind for wasting precious moments, especially when they had to travel to Kolkata.
Aniruddha looked up as she appeared on the corner of the staircase, and his thoughts seemed to fade. Bondita’s heels tapped on the stairs as she could now spot him, his left hand in his pocket and his right one on the phone, as he looked a little startled at her. Bondita was aware of how Asha Boudi dressed her up. Perhaps because she had never dressed up in such a way, she feared he would not like it. She was going with him, so it was only justified if he judged how she appeared. After all, she had never attended such parties. Bondita, in a reflex, adjusted the pleated thin anchol over her shoulder, held together by a brooch. Her saree was blue, one of Asha’s collection of Satin silk, with a thin golden border, and she wore a black sleeveless blouse with it. Asha offered her all the jewellery she had, but Bondita had chosen a sleek gold chain that hung around the nape of her neck and a pair of simple earrings. She chose to wear her bracelet and use the eyeliner for a Teep. Asha also did her eye makeup, with eyeliner and brown eyeshadow, even when she protested, and she suggested a nude lipstick with it. She refused the blush Asha wanted to put, and she joked that Bondita did not need a blush because she would be blushing anyway. On one hand, she held a black sequin purse close to her abdomen, and with the other hand, she held her Kuchi, to lift it as she walked down the stairs, pushing her long, straightened hair over her right shoulder. Aniruddha’s mouth opened involuntarily as he inhaled and could smell her perfume as she came closer and avoided staring back at him.
“I’m sorry.” He looked clueless at her words, as his eyes wandered to her glossy lips, and Bondita looked up at him, forcing his eyes to move from her lips to her Kohl-drawn eyes as Bondita could sense something different in his Zade Black pupils staring back at her. She cleared her throat, hoping he would look away.
“I mean… I am late…” She looked away as he nodded and walked ahead of her to the car. Bondita was surprised that he held open the door for her as she stepped in, and he closed it before walking over to the driver’s side. She fastened her seat belt as he started the car.
“Jyatha Moshai was suggesting that you should have taken a driver.” She said almost like a murmur, staring out of her side of the window as he smiled faintly.
“It’s because he thinks I would drink and drive.” He said rather monotonously. Bondita glanced at him. “Do you?” He shook his head. “I drink occasionally.”
Bondita wondered if she should ask to turn on the music to avoid hearing herself breathing or worse, his occasional sighs. He was not much of a talker, especially when he drove. Her recently manicured nails tapped on the sequence of her purse as he eyed her. “Music?” He asked, eyeing her briefly as her head was turned away from his view, towards the window. She nodded. Aniruddha turned on the radio.
This is Mirchi 98.2 FM, and you are listening to Love Station. The next song is for everyone who knows the feeling of falling in love…
“Ishq Hua” played on the radio as Bondita decreased the volume, making Aniruddha eye her. He extended his hand to increase the volume as she stopped changing the channel.
“I don’t like this song.” Bondita drew her hand away from the volume key while he increased the volume and let the music play.
The car entered the gates of the Royal Calcutta Golf Club, and Bondita could see the Colonial Bengali structure with the date 1914 etched on the beige walls and red roofs. A valet came to take their car as Aniruddha walked up the stairs to the entrance and waited for her. The wooden staircase led upstairs to a large ballroom with chandeliers, turquoise-themed curtains, and paintings.
“Aniruddha!” The moment the wooden door opened for them, an older man in a grey suit welcomed them as Aniruddha shook hands. His eyes fell on Bondita as Aniruddha turned to introduce them.
“This is Sir, I learnt everything I taught you from him. And this is Bondita; she is my prodigy.” Bondita eyed his formal introduction as the man shook her hand. “Well, I am glad you came by with someone for a change.” Bondita smiled faintly at the man’s words as Aniruddha introduced her to some of his colleagues as a future partner of the firm.
“Bondita?” Bondita had just chosen a non-alcoholic drink from the tray of colourful ones offered to her when she turned at the familiar voice. “Deb!” She exclaimed as Debarghya noticed her well-dressed avatar. “What are you doing here?”
“Sir used to be my boss in the firm.” He shrugged. “What about you?” Bondita smiled. “He is my Sir’s senior.”
“Ah, I see, Aniruddha Sir is here?” He asked, looking around as Bondita nodded. “What are you doing in a corner alone?”
“He… went to mingle.” Bondita shrugged. “I really don’t know anyone so…”
“You know me.” He smiled. “Come, let’s sit there.” He pointed at two couches in a corner. Bondita looked at him a little reluctantly as she glanced over her shoulder to find Aniruddha busy chatting with some men with a drink in his hand. She nodded at Debarghya.
Aniruddha shook hands with the people who left and turned to find Bondita in the crowd. He had been dragged away by a friend he had made during his internship days before he could tell her to wait. She was not in the corner he had left her in, and Aniruddha reached his pocket for his cell phone when the crowd parted, and he found her laughing at someone’s joke. His brows narrowed as he abandoned half his drink on an empty tray and walked up to her to find Debarghya there. Watching him approach, Debarghya stood up to greet him.
“What a pleasant surprise.” Aniruddha smiled as Debarghya shook hands. “You seem to be everywhere now.”
“The pleasure is mine.” Debarghya smiled. Aniruddha eyed his blue jacket that matched Bondita’s shade of blue.
“I was just telling her about my promotion.” Debarghya beamed. Aniruddha eyed Bondita. “Then she told me about the partnership, so I congratulated her.”
“That was something to laugh about?” He wondered out loud as Bondita’s smile faded as she eyed him. “Umm… no. It was a joke.” Debarghya shared a glance with Bondita, who looked uncomfortable at Aniruddha’s enquiring tone. It did not escape him that she mentioned to Debarghya only her work promotion.
“A joke? Care to share?” Debarghya looked reluctant. “It was something about her choosing a shade of blue. It's my favourite colour.”
“Ah, nice.” Aniruddha smiled at Debarghya and turned to Bondita. “It is my favourite colour too.” Colour flushed from Bondita’s cheeks as her eyes widened and she looked busy, fluttering her eyes and looking away as she sipped her drink, “But she knows that, right?” Debarghya looked awkward as Bondita seemed too engrossed in her drink to hear him, and Debarghya excused himself to meet an acquaintance. Aniruddha turned to Bondita.
“Since you are bored, why not have dinner and leave?” He suggested. Bondita shook her head with a polite stare. “No, that is fine, we just arrived. It will be impolite.”
“Well, they will start dancing soon. I don’t think you would be comfortable if someone randomly asks you to dance.” His tone was commanding, and Bondita frowned. “You told me it's a good place to make connections, what harm could a dance do?” Aniruddha pressed his lips as he looked up at her words, nodded and shrugged. “Fine, we can stay one more hour then.” Bondita nodded at his words as the couple took the centre and toasted to their marriage. Aniruddha was about to find someone to talk to when the dance began, and the wife of one of his seniors asked him for a dance. Aniruddha obliged. It did not escape Bondita how she, despite being significantly older, ogled him. Aniruddha smiled, perhaps as she complimented him. Bondita watched from her corner, her eyes following him across the dance floor.
“Dance?” Debarghya tapped on Bondita’s shoulder as she nodded. She smiled as he led her to the dance floor. “I see that you are feeling out of place here.” He said with a reassuring smile, putting her hand on his shoulder while holding her back gently. The music was loud and Bondita could not hear him over it.
“What?” She gestured. Debarghya leaned in to repeat his sentence as Bondita nodded slightly, smiling back at him. “Thank you for noticing.” She whispered into his ear. Aniruddha excused himself from the senior’s wife and found Bondita whispering into Debarghya’s ear as he stared at them, sharing a smile. He felt like something was stuck to his throat as he looked away and picked up a drink. He sat down on a couch beside some unknown people and stared at the dance floor. Debarghya twirled her once as Bondita shook her head, telling him not to. He tilted his head and said something to which Bondita nodded with a chuckle. Her hand was in his, the other one on his shoulder. She looked so comfortable. They looked good together. Aniruddha grunted inwardly. They looked more like a couple than many on the dance floor. Aniruddha’s eyes fell on his reflection in the mirror pattern on the wall as he could not help but think that to them, he was another generation. His generation was about silence, respect, care and action. Her generation was about expression. Life to them was fast-paced, like emails and sms. Not about waiting years for a letter, or for someone to turn up while they waited. They moved on faster than falling in love. All the doubts he had once discarded came back to him. Aniruddha’s jaws tightened as he eyed his watch.
The song stopped, and Bondita looked around the hall to find him sitting in a corner. She excused herself from Debarghya and walked up to him.
“Umm… Sir?” She found no response as he was busy eyeing his drink, whirling it a little in the wine glass as she sat down beside him, grabbing his attention as she pushed her hair back. Her forehead and locks were mildly sweaty from the dancing as she exhaled. “We should have dinner. It’s getting late.” Aniruddha looked up at her words as she stared at his unreadable face.
“I am not hungry, you can have yours.” Bondita frowned at his words and then at his drink. “You said you don’t drink.” She shook her head with a disapproving glance. “Maybe that is why you aren’t hungry.” She smiled faintly as he put the glass down on the table. “Either have dinner, or let's go home. My head is throbbing.” Worry swept across Bondita’s face as she asked, “What? Why did you not say anything?” She stood up. “You were busy.” He murmured. Bondita did not hear him. “Let's go home then. Will you be able to drive?”
“If I don’t, who will?” He shrugged, looking up at her from his seat.
“We can stay the night at some hotel…” Bondita bit her lips. “I mean…” As soon as she said it, Bondita feared she sounded bashful.
“If you want to stay, you can; I am going home.” Aniruddha stood up abruptly, making her brows shoot up. He looked angry, and she had no idea why. He walked up to the host to say that they were leaving, and he did not bother to ask her to come along. Bondita quietly followed him down the staircase, trying hard to keep up as Aniruddha almost ran to the valet. The car arrived, and Bondita got in as he took the wheel.
“Should you not check umm… your alcohol level?” She sounded worried as he shook his head. “I am not drunk, I won’t kill you.” Aniruddha opened his blazer and tossed it to the back seat, opening the top two buttons of his shirt as he suddenly felt warm.
“There is some paperwork in the back of the car. Take it to the study before you leave.” Bondita did not respond as he sounded angry.
He drove the car out to the main street. Soon they were on the highway outside Kolkata, and Bondita tried to start the music, which he turned off. Bondita exhaled.
“What’s wrong?”
“Why would anything be wrong?” Aniruddha did not look away from the empty road.
“Then why are you angry?” Bondita frowned.
“Oh, am I?” He sounded amused. “So you can see that.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Bondita eyed him.
“Well, you seemed to be engrossed in socialising…” Bondita eyed his words. His jaws tightened.
“You told me to mingle.”
“Not with one person in particular.” Bondita inhaled his words and shook her head.
“Wow.”
“Excuse me?” Aniruddha frowned. “You don’t get to taunt me. Your generation may think it's all … what do you say, cool and stuff, but these parties are not your clubbing. People are very traditional and such things…”
“Such things?” Bondita raised her brows and gasped. “What things?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t.” Bondita shook her head. “All I know is that I felt terribly out of place there.”
“Did not seem so in the way you smiled and giggled at his jokes,” Aniruddha grunted. Bondita shook her head.
“I can’t believe this. Is this a Roy Chowdhury thing?” He could not understand what she meant and did not ask. Bondita waited and continued. “You see what others do, not what you do.”
He shook his head. “My generation believes in taking things slow and respecting…”
“Shut up with this generational taunt.” Bondita surprised him with her rebuking tone. “I don’t care what you think of an entire generation. But I will not sit and hear you accuse me of things I did not do.” Aniruddha did not respond. Instead, he honked at the empty road, increasing the speed of the car. Bondita looked away and sniffed. “You ignored me like you are embarrassed by me.” Aniruddha was suddenly alarmed by her exhaling as she tried hard to hold back her tears. “You can’t see how that feels, can you?” She shook her head. “All you see is someone who did not treat me as someone invisible.”
“Bondita.” His voice was calmer and reasoned as she shook her head and looked away.
“Don’t use that tone on me like I am ten.” She snapped. “I will not take that. Not anymore.”
Aniruddha inhaled as he heard her sniff again.
“I did not treat you as invisible. I was telling a few friends and acquaintances about how you handled your first case, about your work.” Aniruddha sounded calmer. “Stop crying.”
“I am not crying. Why should I?” Bondita discreetly wiped her tears from the corner of her eyes before they fell. “Boye Geche.” Aniruddha suddenly found his anger melt away into a faint smile at her tone. He exhaled and decreased the speed of the car, giving himself time to look at her through the corner of his eyes. He turned on the music, and the FM channel played Rabindrasangeet.
O Je Maane Na Mana, Akhin Firayile Bole Na Na Na.
“You know, when you get older, you seem to lean towards Rabindrasangeet more.” Aniruddha sounded calm, trying to make small talk, but he got no response from Bondita. “It resonates more with the soul. Maybe it's a Bangali thing.”
Bondita tightened her jaw as her hand clutched her purse tightly.
“I am sorry.” He eyed her. “Alright?”
“No, you are not. You think I casually flirt with random people…” Bondita shook her head, still looking away. “You look down upon me for it.”
“Don’t be silly.” Aniruddha almost scolded. “ Debarghya is not a random person.” He had an amused tone, but Bondita was not in the mood for it. She eyed him, “Right, so I led him on?” She sounded irked.
“I said I am sorry.” Aniruddha shook his head. “I… can never look down upon you.”
“But you did, your sorry means nothing to me.” Bondita refused to spare him a glance. Aniruddha smiled faintly at her words. Bondita suddenly felt the cold nudge of his metal wristwatch band against her wrist as his hand found hers. She resisted in vain as he held her hand firmly in his. She tried to shake it off twice but found her hand too small and powerless in his strong grip as he pulled her hand from over her purse and placed it on the gear, putting his hand over it. Bondita still refused to look at him as he moved his thumb gently over her hand in soothing circles and held her hand to change the gear. Bondita let him, without another word, exchange. The FM continued ad-free songs.
Ki Naame Deke Bolbo Tomake, Mondo Koreche Amake Oi Duti Chokhe.
As the car entered Chandannagar, Bondita tried once again in vain to free her hand from under his as his grip tightened and he cleared his throat. Bondita looked unsure of what he was doing. She knew Bihari would be awake and waiting for him; it was not that late. What if he… Bondita looked unsure as the car entered the gates, and he let go of the gear, briefly, allowing her to take her warm hand back and rub it with her cold one. The car stopped as Bihari came out, and Aniruddha was instructing him to go home as Bondita got down from the passenger side and remembered the papers on the back seat. She opened the door and took out the bunch, tucking her Anchol carelessly on her waist as she took them inside. Aniruddha let her walk away before he grabbed his blazer from the back seat.
Bondita had reached the study room when the light went out, making her look puzzled as she called Bihari Babu. The light from outside the house was enough for her to know that part of the house was in darkness.
“It must be the fuse, Didimoni, the rest of the house has electricity except the downstairs living room and study. I will go check.” He insisted.
“Give me a lantern before you go,” Bondita asked. Bihari ran to the kitchen with a torch in hand, grabbing a lantern as Aniruddha walked up the steps with questioning eyes.
“What happened, Bihari?” Aniruddha asked, removing his glasses and putting them in his shirt pocket.
“The fuse blew up I am going to the motor house to check. Didimoni wants the lantern.” Aniruddha nodded at him, “You go check, I will take the lantern.” He took it from Bihari’s hand as the man rushed outdoors towards the motor room near his quarters.
Aniruddha increased the light of the lantern as he entered the study room and found her silhouette near the desk. Bondita did not look back at him as she instructed Bihari Babu to keep the lantern on the desk as she emptied her hands, keeping the paper in a space she found in the light of the lantern. As she did that, she freed her anchol from her waist. Aniruddha stepped towards her and extended his right hand over her arm to keep the lantern on the desk. Bondita could smell his musk perfume as she froze in her place briefly as he kept the lantern, and she turned in a hurry to leave. She found herself trapped between the desk and him as her hand almost toppled a paperweight. He caught it with his left hand and leaned in to keep it back in place. Bondita tilted her head back, in a reflex to maintain a distance from him, but found that she could not move. Her waist was touching the edge of the desk. His arms were on either side. She did not dare to look up at him as she could feel his gaze on her. Bondita’s cheek flushed. He placed his hands on the edge of the desk, bending slightly to get a better view of her flustered face in the light and shadow of the room. Her anchol fell over the desk as she had turned, and he collected it with his left hand and pulled it around her waist to the other side, tugging it with his right hand near her waist. Bondita shuddered at his cold touch on her waist, and she gasped involuntarily. “Careful.” His voice sounded hoarse. She was suddenly aware of his measured breath near her, the silence of the night, the sound of crickets outside the window and Bihari Babu waking up the guard at a distance to check the motor room fuse. The house was asleep, and the world had stopped around her. Bondita’s lowered gaze could now see his black shirt, inches away from her; the carpet vanished from her view as he leaned in further, and Bondita felt weak on her knees. His gaze followed her parted lips and unsure eyes as he used his left hand briefly to lift her chin, forcing her to stare back at him, before his arms were back on either side, restricting her. Bondita could see the flickering light of the lantern shine in his eyes, holding her gaze like they had hypnotic power. Bondita gulped as his nose was inches away from hers. She feared that even her breathing would draw her closer to him. Aniruddha had a faint smile on the edge of his lip as he eyed her lips quiver. “I truly am sorry, OK?” Bondita nodded slightly at his hoarse whisper as he leaned further, tilting his head a little as he kissed her left cheek. He observed her eyes close briefly before she fluttered them nervously. Bondita held her breath as his nose touched her, and she felt too weak to stand there as if she would melt into his arms. Yet she could not move, not even for her arms to reach out for him, even when she had a sudden urge to hold him. Aniruddha touched her nose with his gently, as he breathed on her lips, smelling her lipstick, anticipating the taste. Bondita exhaled, perhaps because she was holding on to her breath too long, and his soft lips found the edge of her lower lip, which touched softly. Bondita did not know how to react or respond as she felt her mind go numb. He lowered his head, his nose finding its way to the nape of her neck as Bondita found herself tilting her head away, giving him the space to manoeuvre. His lips touched the nape of her neck as she shuddered, her right hand reaching for his shoulder near his collar as he reached the edge of her collarbone and planted a kiss. Bondita gathered all her strength to open her eyes and look at him, as Aniruddha’s eyes lifted slightly to meet hers as he tried to read her reaction to his audacity. Bondita’s rapid breathing was answer enough as he found himself lifting his head slightly as she moved her tilted head nearer, and their noses touched. Bondita suddenly found the strength to let her other arm find its way to his shoulder, locking behind his neck, as he closed his eyes and her lips found his. Like pieces of a puzzle, they fit, tasting, suckling and exploring each other’s mouths as she breathed in, as he sucked at her lips, taking her breath away, and the gleam of their wet lips against each other alarmed them of the involuntary sound their lips made against each other. Aniruddha stepped back, drawing away from her, fighting a strong urge to hold her, explore her and salvage her. He knew better. He knew he was supposed to take his sweet time. He knew she deserved more than just his impulses. His hand wrapped around her waist, drawing her nearer than she was, her waist against the buckle of his belt as he watched her flustered face, and he held her face with both hands, gently planting a kiss on her forehead. The warmth of his breath against her sweaty forehead brought a rush of emotions into Bondita’s being. She leaned in, allowing his arm on her waist to manoeuvre to her hips as she hid her face in his chest and hugged him. Her hand travelled from his neck to his back as she held on to him, and Aniruddha found his other hand resting on her done-up hair as he smiled faintly, placing his chin on her head, swaying her a little gently as he breathed in. Bondita could hear his racing heart and wondered if he felt hers. She wanted to stay that way, in his reassuring, protective arms. Like they needed no words beyond that moment to tell each other how they felt. Aniruddha was suddenly aware of the fact that her mere presence, the features of her femininity against his body, her smell and taste, aroused him in a way he had never felt before. He found himself uncomfortable with the thought of Bondita judging him for it. He tried to draw away, but she held on to him, her eyes narrowing slightly as she held on. Aniruddha found the courage he needed in her gesture as his hand manoeuvred from her hip up her waist and stopped right below her bosom. He exhaled as she leaned in, as if to allow him the privilege of holding her and making love to her. As she moved an inch away from his embrace, eyes met briefly, and Bondita’s eyes travelled to his parted lips as she bit her lower lip involuntarily. Aniruddha drew her closer into his embrace, as her hands found his shoulders and his lips found hers again. This time it was quicker, wetter and deeper as she parted her lips and allowed his tongue to taste her mouth. His hand travelled to her waist while the other one manoeuvred the silky material of her blouse over her bosom. Bondita let out a soft moan as Aniruddha stopped as their lips parted against each other’s heavy breath, and his hand stopped moving against the cleft of her bosom against the blouse. The light came on, suddenly snapping them out of their desire to hold on a little longer. Aniruddha was suddenly aware of his surroundings, the servants, the house and most importantly, his need to make her feel respected despite his sudden primitive urge to explore her.
Bondita looked a little confused as he drew away. For a moment, she felt embarrassingly inexperienced and aware of her age as she let go of his shoulders and turned around, to pace her throbbing heart as he turned on his heels and made his way upstairs. Bondita’s fingers lingered on her wet lips before she could catch her breath. She smelled of him, tasted of him. The nape of her neck still had the tingling sensation of his touch against her skin. She had never felt like that before. She picked up her purse and tried to put the lantern out. Bihari interrupted from the threshold that he would do it, and she should go home instead. Bondita left in a hurry.
Aniruddha let the cold shower run as he stood under it and breathed in. He leaned, placing his arm on the wall to balance himself, and as he closed his eyes, he could visualise her shuddering under him; his eyes could hover on her features for as long as he wanted in his imagination, and he did not fear upsetting her with his suggestive glances. He remembered the feeling of her soft skin, the fabric of her blouse and let his imagination take over what was beyond it. Aniruddha felt an uncomfortable yearning, primitive, hard and urgent, as his desires made his mind travel to places he refused to let his heart sway before. In his innermost secret thoughts, he allowed himself to lust after her in a way he had never lusted after any woman. He allowed himself to imagine what would happen had he not stopped, had the bindings of their surroundings not been in question. He gulped as his hand travelled to relieve himself; he could not help imagining her touching him, feeling him, her lips on his skin, shyly at first, then with demand and right, with audacity and submissiveness blended into her desires. He saw it for the first time in her eyes. The desire to submit to him in every way he wanted her to. Those eyes, her stares, her gestures and her response made all his doubts melt away. She wanted him as fiercely as he wanted her.
Aniruddha felt relaxed as he made his way to the bed, tiredness giving way to happiness as he wondered about the day. He had never been so brave in his life, not even when he saved her. A smile formed on his lips as he remembered her responding to him. The moment he had crossed his limits and she had closed her eyes, anticipatingly, Aniruddha was scared of upsetting her. But his heart gave in to his mind, ready to accept the consequences of the risk he was willing to take. Her response, her desire to hold him, taste him the same way he wanted, was all the reassurance he needed, a reward for his bravery. Aniruddha lay on his back, wondering about the future. Would Bondita be thinking of a picture of their married life, the way he did? They would have a small wedding, nothing too extravagant. They would travel to places, see the world together. Aniruddha murmured the name in his head twice, Bondita Roy Chowdhury. Would she prefer Bondita Das? He did not care what the name was. They would work together, come home and have dinner together. He would take her with him to the villages he helped at, and she would volunteer too. They would have silly arguments and romantic make-ups. Aniruddha realised he was getting ahead of himself. He had yet to ask her if she would like to wait for the marriage to happen at a more suitable time in her career. Aniruddha did not know when he fell asleep, lost in his thoughts.
Bondita stared at herself in the mirror as her finger lingered over her collarbone while she removed Asha’s chain. She blushed at her reflection as she hid her face in her palms and sat down on the edge of her bed, wondering. She had imagined what it would feel like more than once, for more than a decade. She had imagined his reciprocation of her love in words. But somehow she felt like she did not need that after his actions. His gaze made her feel like he was piercing into her soul, reading her, inch by inch, scar by scar, like nobody else ever had. His voice was hoarse, and there was something in it that made her feel a funny throbbing at the pit of her stomach. His touch was different from what she had imagined. Her arms broke out in goosebumps as she shivered. He was more demanding and more warranted than she had expected. It was like he was claiming her as his. There was something extremely attractive in that. He did not seek her approval in words, yet his eyes did before she closed her eyes, anticipating and accepting his advances. Bondita breathed in. She had never felt this way before. She always believed she had loved him in an old-fashioned, platonically pure way. Even the imagination of a kiss would often make her feel like it was a sin to imagine something like that with him, in a bond as pure as she felt for him. Yet, in that moment, Bondita wanted to be held, loved, and admired, the way he wanted to show her his affection. She admitted to herself that she was a little disappointed when he moved away. She had no idea what more she expected, but she did not care where they were, who would walk in on them; she wanted more. She wondered what he was thinking, if he found her gestures too bashful or surprising, or if her reciprocation was welcome. She eyed the light turned on in his room from her window and was somehow satisfied that she was not the only one having a sleepless night after their little adventure. The mere admission of her desires made Bondita blush profusely as she hid her face in her pillow and smiled. Everything was so different from what she had imagined, yet it was more beautiful than she ever thought it would be.
