“So the question is, do the slum dwellers get their dues to relocate, or do they protest on the road, grabbing media attention? If one of them mentions the sewage project where all this started, we can’t guarantee not dragging certain names then. It will be beyond our control.” Bondita breathed in as she eyed everyone at the table. The conference hall of ARC & Associates had an oval table with a whiteboard, projector and podium and sitting around the table were a stenographer, Bondita’s secondary attorney, Debashish Ghosal, the contractor and his attorney Biswas, the representative of the NGO with the Union leader of the slum, Trilochon, Somnath and Aniruddha. The people of the NGO appreciated her strategy with a nod. Ghoshal looked perplexed as his lawyer whispered something in his ear. Somnath did not look up from the table as Aniruddha passed a note to Trilochon in writing.
“Now the decision is yours.” Bondita continued. “We are keen on out-of-court settlement if our basic demands are met.” She looked around the table for reactions, and her eyes stopped at Aniruddha’s admiring ones. There was a hint of pride on his face that she did not miss.
“Ghoshal, can I have a word?” Trilochon stood up and made the man nod as they walked out of the conference hall and into Aniruddha’s chamber, followed by their lawyers. Once they left, Bondita sat down and exhaled. The man from the NGO hoped it would work. She did, too.
After nearly an hour of deliberation, Trilochon walked into the conference room with Ghoshal in tow.
“We are ready to negotiate if the union members of the slum are ready to forget the details of the sewage project.” Bondita smiled. “It's a deal.”
As the clients were leaving, Trilochon stopped at the office entrance and turned to Bondita, who was shaking hands with the man from the NGO.
“You did well. I appreciate your intelligence.” Trilochon put his hand on her head, surprising Bondita as she smiled. “You have the brains to be a politician, unlike…” He murmured as he eyed a visibly angry Somnath, asking the driver why he had taken so long to bring the car. Bondita shook her head. “I am doing what I love doing. I am glad you did not take it personally.”
“Why will I? I appreciate a good competition.” Trilochon nodded before he turned to Aniruddha, “I have a meeting to attend for the election in Kolkata. I will be back tomorrow morning.” Aniruddha nodded as he opened the door of the car for Trilochon.
“So…” Aniruddha had a smile on his face as soon as Bondita entered the chamber. “I think you need a cubicle outside the chamber soon. You will be done assisting me if you handle cases this way.” Bondita smiled back, eyeing her desk as she kept down some of the files he had asked for.
“I think I am more comfortable learning for some time…” She made him nod.
“Here.” She held out the pen from the shirt pocket “Thank you.”
Aniruddha took the pen and nodded at her. “Now get back to work; your case has left a lot of backlog here.”
“Yes, sir. I will catch up over the weekend.” Aniruddha shook his head at her words. “Don’t let anyone blame me for making you work hard.” Bondita smiled.
Somnath entered the bedroom like a storm as Asha looked up from the book she was reading. He looked agitated as Asha stood up, keeping the book down.
“What’s wrong?” She barely managed to ask as Som attempted to pour water from a jug into a glass, and the glass overflowed, flooding some papers on the desk, making him angry as he toppled the jug. Asha gasped.
“What is wrong with you?”
“What does she think of herself?” Som seemed least bothered about the mess Asha sat down to clean. “After everything we did for her… she thinks she will get away with screwing me over…”
“Who…” Asha stood up with the jug in her hand as Som faced her. “I am warning you, don’t try to be friends with her. There is no need. Baba was right. Jethu adopted a snake, feeding her milk…” Asha eyed the finger he pointed at her and narrowed her brows in displeasure.
“Don’t talk to me in that tone.”
“Now you will show me attitude?” Som stepped forward as Asha stood her ground. He was breathing heavily as Asha calmly asked again what was wrong.
“She blackmailed Jethu into giving in to her demands using my name.”
“How can she do that if you did nothing wrong?” Asha’s question infuriated Som as he pushed her aside and walked out of the room and down the stairs, and Asha followed him to the living room. Somnath stopped at the sight of Aniruddha and Bondita entering the house as his jaws tightened.
“You screwed me purposefully, didn’t you?” Bondita looked perplexed at his accusations. “What?”
“You crossed a line, and you did that fully aware that you would potentially hurt me.”
“Dada… Listen…”
“Oh, don’t call me that.” Bondita was angry at his words.
“If it bothers you, you should have made sure not to be entangled in this. It is me, so I did not mention Ghoshal giving a percentage of profit in your name, as any other lawyer would.” Bondita inhaled. “Besides, you had your advocates guiding you… Jyatha Moshai…” She stopped as Somnath smiled sarcastically.
“My advocate guiding me? No, Madam. I told Jethu not to trust him.” Aniruddha raised his brows at his brother’s choice of words. “He was helping you, I am sure he was. His little project always came before us.” Som made Aniruddha come forward and ask him what he meant. Asha stood at the last stair as she watched her infuriated husband accuse his brother of staging a coup, actually helping Bondita. Bondita interfered, reminding him, “It's your grievances against me; don’t drag others into it.”
“I will if they help screw me.”
“She did not need my help, thanks to all your lies.” Aniruddha shook his head firmly without losing his cool.
“I was doing my job, Dada; it was not personal,” Bondita tried to reason.
“It is personal. It has always been personal. You have always tried so hard to be his favourite. His little pet project. His friends called you that behind your back. And you proved it. You always wanted to prove you are better than anyone. Even if that meant walking over us.” Bondita opened her mouth to protest, but Som did not let her. “Baba was right, outsiders can never be family.”
“Somnath.” Aniruddha stepped in between him and Bondita, making her look up over his shoulder at Somnath. “Enough, go to your room.”
“I am not a child anymore, Dadabhai.” Somnath shook his head. “For the first time, Jethu would have been proud of me, and she had to come and screw it up. Prove to him that I am not a worthy prodigy; maybe she is.”
“I had no intention to…” Bondita protested.
“You shut up, I am talking to my brother.” Som eyed her, and then Aniruddha. “He promised my mother that he would never put anyone else before Batuk and me. What happened?” Aniruddha’s throat suddenly felt dry at his accusations. “I… I represented you.” He shook his head.
“And suggested we give in to her.” Somnath shook his head. Bondita eyed Aniruddha, frowning. He looked angry.
“Yes, because it would be less humiliating than being dragged to court, then your political career would have been finished. She gave you a way out.” Aniruddha looked agitated.
“That’s what she hopes for, so Jethu chooses her.” Bondita shook her head. “I have no desire to…”
“Oh, stop your crap, you are nothing without us…” Bondita looked a little pale.
“Somnath,” Aniruddha warned him.
“She is nothing without Jethu or you. She was a filthy…”
“Stop!” Bondita shrieked as Aniruddha stopped his raised hand from slapping Somnath, and Asha gasped, covering her mouth.
“What are you doing?” Bondita scolded as Aniruddha froze. “He is your younger brother.” Their eyes met as she gestured at Asha. Aniruddha lowered his hand and stepped back. Somnath stormed out of the house, giving one final glance to Asha, and Aniruddha turned and walked into the study room, shutting his door noisily.
Bondita stood for a while before she approached a visibly rattled Asha.
“I… am sorry…” She lowered her gaze as Asha’s jaws tightened.
“What did he do wrong?” Her question made Bondita shake her head. “It's not something huge, Boudi. Many politicians…”
“What did he do, Bondita?”
Asha spent the rest of the evening locked in her room. She had been a fool to think her husband would never give in to immoral ways to be someone recognisable in the political field. The lines of morality faded with the profession. She always imagined she knew him well. Yet, in the years of knowing him, Asha was not familiar with this side of him, the side that could not accept defeat or understand others. The side that was angry and scared her. And what did he say to Bondita? His choice of words for someone he claimed to love like a sister shocked her. It made Asha wonder if he could easily turn on Bondita after so many years of knowing her; what would his reaction be to Asha if she took a stand against him? Asha was perplexed. Did Som have a grudge against Bondita because Aniruddha favoured her? Did he see her as a threat because he put Aniruddha and her relationship on par with the siblings? Asha skipped dinner when Som did not return for the night. At first, she thought she would call him and enquire about his whereabouts, but then she let it be. Perhaps her not enquiring would make him realise his mistake and the way he behaved irrationally. He had lied to her about the case. He had claimed he was going to help Ghoshal as a favour. He did not mention anything about his vested interest in it. Did he get a commission from the mall project as Bondita suggested? Asha would not be surprised if he did. Her eyes fell on the picture of the siblings and Bondita on the wall. Asha’s attention shifted to how Aniruddha reacted. Was he overprotective of Bondita because he felt responsible, as Som claimed? Was there more to it, like she saw? Asha wished someone else would see it as she did, so that she would not feel her idea was absurd anymore. He listened to her. He respected her. They understood each other without words. Was that not what Asha expected of a relationship? Something told her that she would never have that kind of relationship with Somnath. She wiped the tears from her eyes. It's not even been six months since they were married. Was she having her doubts? The very thought scared her.
Bondita shared with Kalindi her guilt of causing a fight in the Roy Chowdhury house.
“It was not your fault.” Kalindi raised her head by her chin and reassured. “I am sure Trilochon Babu understood that.”
“He is not home, and Som Dada left. Boudi is alone…”
“It's Aniruddha Babu’s fault.” Kalindi shook her head. “He said he would stay out of it, and he should have.”
“How could he say no to Dada?” Bondita defended. “He is not someone who sabotages his clients even if they are wrong.”
“It's not about that.” Kalindi looked perplexed. “Today it's Som, tomorrow it will be someone else.” Bondita stared at her worried face. “Do you want your successes to be attributed to him?” Bondita contemplated.
“Well, I have an offer from a senior in Kolkata. One of his juniors is my batchmate.” She said as Kalindi placed her hand on her shoulder. “I can move with you.” Bondita looked unsurely at Kalindi. She did not want to leave, not after she found out about Trilochon and Kalindi. They had spent their entire lives putting others before themselves. Kalindi looked at her unsure face, scared. Today, it was an accusation of favouritism that had rattled Bondita. What if tomorrow someone had deeper accusations? With the way Aniruddha was overprotective of her, it was only a matter of time before people started talking. What would become of Bondita’s future then? Kalindi wanted her to settle down and have a happy life. She could not let Aniruddha be a hindrance to it. Somehow, Som’s words put a seal of approval on her worry.
Bondita walked into the quiet, dark house around eleven at night and found the food untouched. Bihari was cleaning up, and he informed her that nobody had eaten. Som was not back home, and Aniruddha had not stepped out of the study. Asha Boudi’s door was locked, too. Bondita thought for a while. She felt extremely guilty ever since the confrontation. She had never seen Somnath engage in any argument with Aniruddha. She had never seen him raise his hand at Somnath. Was she trying to do all that Som claimed? Seeking his approval the way fifteen-year-old Bondita did? Had she not learnt? Bondita had never thought of her actions in the way Som described them. But that did not make her feel less guilty. She knocked at Asha’s door in vain, as she refused to eat. Bondita took a plate of food, walked up to the study room, and knocked. Once, twice, thrice.
“Go away, Bondita.” She pushed at the door at his words. The study was dark, with one study lamp lit by the desk, and it took her some time to figure out where he was. He was sitting on the couch, legs up, holding his knees as she approached him. His hair was dishevelled, and his eyes looked puffy. He looked away from her as Bondita’s throat felt dry. Had he been crying? She had never seen him cry. Did he blame her, too? Hate her for it? She cleared her throat and placed the plate down on the coffee table. He looked away. Bondita pushed the plate towards him, but he ignored it. She sat down on the chair, tore the Ruti, dipped it in Dal and held it out as he looked up at her briefly. His eyes were red, and Bondita gestured at the morsel she pushed into his mouth. “Thamma says we can’t be angry with food for people.” He did not respond as she proceeded with the second morsel. “Maa Annapurna has blessed us with it.”
“Has Asha…” He managed as she shook her head. “He did not come home.”
“Because of me?” He murmured. Bondita did not respond as she held out a morsel, and he pushed her hand away. She placed the plate on the coffee table and walked to the table to wipe her hands with the napkin from his napkin holder.
“I have decided, once Jyatha Moshai comes… I will ask his permission to leave.” She looked away as he shot a glance at her.
“For god’s sake, is that all you can do? Leave?” He looked displeased. “I warned you about this.”
“I did not know Som Dada was so involved.” Bondita stopped at her defensive tone. “I did not want to cause any conflict between you and…”
“Why did you not tell me he took a commission from Ghoshal?” Bondita looked away at his words and did not answer.
“I asked you something.” He said sternly.
“Because you would be hurt if you knew the full extent of his involvement.” Bondita eyed him briefly as he shook his head hopelessly. “I am sorry.”
“Why are you apologising?” He scolded again. “I should be the one … he was not wrong when he said I promised Ma I would put them before everything. I failed to give him her values.” He grunted. Bondita shook her head. “You are being harsh on yourself. Now get up and go to your room. I will make sure you two talk it out tomorrow. I will not let either of you stay angry because of me.” Bondita used her stern voice to appeal to him in vain. He did not move. Instead, he inhaled and pulled his knees closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as if to comfort himself.
“Fine. If you don’t move, we are spending the night sitting right here on this couch. I am not leaving.” She sat down abruptly beside him on the couch and crossed her arms. “If you all are stubborn, so am I…”
“What if he leaves? Everyone I care for does.” His words came out in a trembling, low-pitched voice, worrying Bondita, who eyed him.
“He is not going anywhere.” She said firmly. Her words did not seem to reach him as he swayed slightly as if to comfort himself.
“First, Ma left. I had to grow up when I was supposed to be a child because I knew Som and Batuk needed me. They needed me to make sure they never forgot her. I was barely twelve.” He cleared his choked throat and continued, “Baba distanced himself from me when I needed him the most. He never understood me or that I needed him.”
“He does understand you more than you know. He just doesn’t express it; he told me he is proud of you. He did.” Bondita knew he would not believe Binoy told her that. He eyed her with a faint smile and sniffed. “Mini was the first friend I made… she misunderstood me.” Bondita was unsure of what to say. It sounded like he regretted losing her, and she found it awkward to comment on their relationship. “And you…” Bondita’s heart leapt to her throat as he shrugged, “You left when I needed a friend.” He put his feet down on the carpet and half turned towards her. “Why?”
“I am sorry I did. I truly am. If I knew…” he shook his head.
“The point is, Bondita, everyone leaves. It's the rule of the world. The moment something goes wrong…” He shook his head and looked away.
“I will not leave. I promise you, I will never leave.” Bondita shook her head as she found her hand on his arm reassuringly. He stared at her, nodding with a smile and felt overwhelmed at her reassurance as he watched her eyes sparkle.
Bondita stiffened as he put his head on her shoulder; her hand travelled from his arm to his palm to clasp it reassuringly. She reminded herself to breathe as she felt his sigh on her neck. His eyes were wet, and a teardrop trickled down his cheek to her shoulder, wetting her shoulder. She tightened her grasp on his hand, reassuringly.
“I am scared.” He whispered, almost like it was a curse. “Scared of being vulnerable, scared of getting hurt.” Bondita nodded, the little her head could move, avoiding touching his, “I know.” She whispered back. He could suddenly feel her breathe heavily, her chest move, as he lifted his head a little, worried that he made her cry. Bondita tilted her chin as he moved to make sure their heads did not touch and their eyes met, noses inches away from each other.
Bondita was suddenly aware of herself, him, the surroundings and everything she had heard from Kalindi, Binoy and Som. She removed her hand from his, turning her face away, forcing him to sit up and exhale as the grandfather clock struck twelve. He looked away, briefly wiping the teardrop from his cheek as though he was hiding it from her, and Bondita stood up to leave.
“I will check on Boudi before I go.” She wrapped the shrug tightly around herself and walked away.
Aniruddha watched her go as a sudden sense of lack of warmth hit him. He was alone in the cold, damp room, and she was his only source of warmth. He stared at his hand that had held hers, unmindfully, as his eyes fell on the mixture of Tulsi honey she had left in a bowl on his desk in the morning. Aniruddha was suddenly overwhelmed, realising that he depended on Bondita for things that were not her duty towards him in the first place. He expected her to step in and arrange his room, make his coffee, and keep his work in order. He liked it when she was concerned for his health. He liked it when she was at a loss for words with his intimidation. Som’s words came back to him. His Little Project. He had no idea that was what his friends thought when they asked about her.
Bondita rushed back home and shut her bedroom door behind her. She lay on the mattress, watching the stillness of the ceiling fan as she breathed heavily. Had she crossed a line, or did he not see things the way she did? Maybe he did not. To him, she was still someone like Batuk; someone who grew up in front of his eyes. Bondita had walked up to him, determined that she would move away from it all. She would stop seeking his approval. What she did not expect was to promise him the opposite. What could she do? She had never seen him so vulnerable. Bondita shook her head and punched her pillow. Could she have ever imagined him needing her the way he did? It was all she ever wanted, once upon a time. Now, she dreaded it for different reasons altogether. She was not his little project anymore. She needed to get out of his shadow and prove her worth. How could she do that without Aniruddha misunderstanding her?
