Stepping Out

Aapno ko rokne yahan

Aapne khare hai saare.

Binoy stormed into the Roy Chowdhury Mansion as the rain poured heavily outside. Trilochan was sitting in the hallway with the newspaper as he looked up at his brother’s urgency.

“Aniruddha? Aniruddha!” Binoy’s voice echoed through the house. Koeli exchanged a look of fear with Ashapurna, who sat up in her bed in the room. Bihari rushed to the study at Binoy’s voice to call on Aniruddha, who had already stepped out and Somnath and Batuk walked towards the sitting area where Binoy stood, visibly angry, his hands on his waist. Bondita stood fixed to the threshold of the kitchen. She expected this.

“What is wrong, Binoy? Why are you shouting like that?” Trilochan frowned.

“Ask your pampered eldest what he did. Ask Him!” Trilochan frowned at his words. For most of the day, Aniruddha was with him, busy working, except for when he came home to fetch some files.

“What did he do?” Trilochan asked. Before Binoy could answer, he spotted Aniruddha at the threshold.

“There you are. The owner of this house. The Zamindar. We are all your slaves, aren’t we?” Binoy taunted. Aniruddha inhaled.

“Baba, you only know half the matter.” His voice was calm and firm.

“Somebody tell me what is going on.” Trilochan was losing his patience.

“Take me downstairs.” Asha insisted. Koeli shook her head.

“I am sorry, Bourani, but Choto Malkin said, no matter what happens, you should be in the room,”

“But Shoshur Moshai is…” Asha frowned. Bondita knew the Roy Chowdhury house to its core. She knew this would happen.

“Your pride as a son insulted the Mukhopadhyay women.” Binoy was fuming, “I had to hear so many insults from him, and many other prominent men of the village, whose wives were present today. They said the wife invites them, then the husband insults them. Do you know how big an issue it is if you insult guests, especially women?” Binoy shook his head. “He has always been a rebel; this is now beyond me.”

“What? Dada, you insulted my in-laws? Asha’s family? How could you do that?” Somnath spoke out of turn as Aniruddha stared at him. Batuk suddenly looked scared and intimidated by the look the two brothers shared.

“Wait a minute,” Trilochan spoke rather calmly, like he didn’t even believe the allegations. “Aniruddha insulted women? That’s not possible.” He shook his head. “There has to be some misunderstanding.”

“Tell him.” Binoy pointed his finger at Aniruddha “Tell him you didn’t?”

“Dada, say something.” Somnath frowned.

“Wait a minute.” Trilochan raised his hands “Stop accusing him without…”

“I did. Okay? I did.” Trilochan looked wide-eyed at Aniruddha, who stepped forward to face his father.

“But do you know what they did? Do you know why? Or they simply omitted that?” He shook his head, visibly angry.

“I don’t care. You get that?” Binoy shook his head. “I don’t care what they said. I only care that nobody has ever been treated this way in this house. First, you did this to Pishima, compelled her to leave, and now this!”

Trilochan stared at Aniruddha in shock at his admission and kept staring at him.

“Aniruddha. My child.” Trilochan shook his head “Why?”

“Because they kept insulting your Grihalakshmi, Jetha Moshai. They kept saying things about our marriage, about her.” Aniruddha eyed his father “You can’t tolerate the insult of guests, but they can come over to your place and insult the women of your family, and you will be okay with it?”

“So you will go about giving it back to every person who has an opinion of you?” Binoy raised his voice. “Is that even possible?” He frowned, “Are you out of your mind?”

“He is right, Aniruddha. You can’t stop people from talking. You can’t confront or stop them. You tell them something here, they will gossip outside the house.” Trilochan spoke calmly again, “That is how society works.”

“What does he know of society, Dada?” Binoy rebuked, “He lives in his own bubble of privilege and dreams. He has no idea how hard it is to run a house, a career or even do half of what he does today, without our family backing him. Who gave you this life? I did. You had no right to leave London and your promising career, whimsically, without asking me. I invested in you.”

“Oh, that's what I am then?” Aniruddha rebuked, “An investment gone wrong?”

“Yes, you are, none of this would have happened had you not had this craziness of making her a barrister.” Binoy raised his voice again, facing Aniruddha. “None of this would have happened. You caused it all. You came back, and I accepted. You work for those revolutionaries for free, causing me enough trouble with the government, I accepted. You refused the best possible alliance I got you for marriage, and I accepted that also. But I will not accept you doing anything to tarnish the family name. You have to apologise.”

“Oh, really?” Aniruddha smiled sarcastically, “What about them tarnishing your family name? Besides, I apologised to the only person I should. Ask Ashapurna and she will tell you…”

“What will she tell Dada? She is the daughter-in-law here. She will definitely agree to whatever you say because she has no other choice.” Somnath stepped in.
“Really, Som?” Aniruddha shook his head “She is voiceless? I wonder why. Who made her like that?” His taunt made Binoy look wide-eyed at his sons. Somnath inhaled.

“ I am sorry, Dada, if you feel everyone in the world will send their wives to work and be willing to give up their own priorities for it, you are wrong. Women are needed to make a house a home. She is doing just that. I don’t need a lecture from a man who treats his wife more like a student on how to treat mine.”

“ Now I know exactly why these people think the way they do.” Aniruddha’s eyes drilled into Somnath, who looked away “My own sibling speaks like them.” Somnath stepped back and walked up the stairs, fuming.

“Have you gone mad?’ Binoy rebuked, “Why would you talk to your sibling like that? You make us sound like your enemies. There is a limit to everything, Aniruddha.”

“Yes, there is Baba, and this has gone beyond it.”

“Everyone is angry.” Trilochan raised his hands up to defuse the matter “I suggest we talk about it calmly tomorrow.”

Binoy shook his head. “No, Dada, there is a fine line between dreams, passion for goals, craziness and obsession. He is so absorbed in his dreams that he refuses to see the world for what it is. We have to live in that world.  I will not tolerate this in my house.”

“Then I shall not trouble you any longer.” Aniruddha's words made everyone look at him wide-eyed. Even Binoy was taken aback for a brief moment.

“Bondita! Bondita!” Aniruddha shouted as she rushed to the sitting area, all eyes on her.

“Pack your things, we are leaving for Calcutta tomorrow.” She opened her mouth and stared at Trilochan, who spoke, “Aniruddha. What is this? Binoy?” Binoy looked away in silence. He had no intention of stopping his firstborn. Trilochan looked scared. “Stop him,” he said the words aloud, as Binoy walked away, much to his shock.

“Aniruddha. Listen, whatever your father said in anger…” Trilochan made him look up “You are not going anywhere, this is my house too.”

“I am sorry, Jetha Moshai. My responsibilities towards Bondita are now greater than staying here. I can’t let her face rebuke and insults for absolutely no fault of her own every day.” His words made Trilochan look at Bondita with the hope of her making him understand. She stared back at Aniruddha in silence as he added, “And I don’t think Bondita is knitted to stay in a place where she can be insulted. I promised you I would not leave home.” Aniruddha looked away. He folded his hands “I am sorry I have to break that promise for a vow I made to protect her.” Bondita shook her head, teary-eyed. She didn’t want to be that woman who broke a household. But he was right, she couldn’t stay somewhere where the priority was not the respect of the women of the household, either.

“Bondita.” He stared right back at her, and she, for the first time, realised he was hurting “Pack everything. We are leaving tomorrow.” He walked away to the study room. Trilochan sank back on the couch, and worry swept across his face.

Batuk followed Bondita inside and up the stairs. 

“You can’t just leave like that. Boudi? You can talk to him. Please.” He insisted. 

“You think I can Batuk?” Bondita asked, wiping her tears as she reached the room. “Was he wrong?”

“No, he wasn’t. But they need to understand. Neither of them is wrong from their side. I don’t know what is wrong with Som Dada, though.” He shook his head.

“Study hard, Batuk. Be a good man. Like your Dada. And write to me. When you are done studying, come visit me.” Bondita spoke as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Boudi.” Batuk was teary too. “Everything will heal with time, you will see.” He ran to his last hope to stop this mess.

Somnath sat on the couch as Ashapurna sat with her feet dangling from the bed. 

“If you don’t apologise to Dadabhai, I will.” She spoke firmly. He looked up at her authoritative tone. Never had she dared to speak to him that way. Even his look didn’t intimidate her. 

“You have no idea what you are saying, Woman. I stood up for you.” He fumed.

“Did you?” Ashapurna’s voice was amused, “Or you stood up to impress your father and reinstate how right you are and how wrong Dadabhai is?” He looked up at her face, intimidated by how accurately she read him. 

“You stood up for all the things you believed in, and the hope that your impressed father and my impressed family are going to pass on some heirloom and property to you.” Ashapurna looked away.

“You are getting too much affected by them.” Somnath shook his head “Even if that is true, who do I do that for? My children. Our future.”

“That is not what standing up for me means, you should have seen what it means and you wouldn’t have dared to…” A knock resonated as Ashapurna opened the door of their bedroom. Koeli stood at the threshold. “Zamindar Babu has called you to his room, Bourani.” Somnath got up as Koeli added, “Only you.”

Bondita entered Trilochan’s room, teary-eyed, to find Ashapurna there. Eyes met as she sighed, and Ashapurna walked up to her to hold her cold hands reassuringly. Trilochan looked up from the carpet to them.

“I don’t know what to say.” Trilochan spoke, almost choking, “All my life, I have been scared of this. Of a family feud. And I thought it would be issues about money and property. I spend half my time deciding who gets what so that nobody is offended, and now… it became about ideals and egos.” He hid his face with his palms as Bondita rushed to sit on the floor at his feet.

“Kakababu.” Bondita looked worried. In a few hours, the man looked weak and aged.  She had never seen him so helpless and sad.

“Bondita. Bouma?” He looked up at Asha as she sat down on the chair beside him. “I don’t know what to do. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t worry so much, you will fall sick,” Bondita spoke teary. 

“And you will not be there to nurse me. Bouma will need you during her …” He stopped as Ashapurna nodded “I will.”

“I promise you, I will be there,” Bondita reassured him. “Let me get settled there, and I will write to you and Asha. We will fix this together, the three of us.” She stared at Ashapurna, who nodded.

“I promised you I won’t let this family break, and I will keep my promise, Kakababu.”

“But how will we…” Trilochan looked up at the two women of his household, grateful that they were still a unit.

“ I will convince him, too. My husband may not listen to me, but he will care when it's about his child.” Ashapurna spoke. “His child needs everyone. Even their Jetha and Boroma.” Bondita smiled, placing her hand on Asha’s.

Bihari knocked on the door, looking worried “Choto Malkin, should I serve dinner?” He asked.

“Serve it in everyone’s room.” Bondita got up. “Tell them Kakababu’s rule for the house. Nobody sleeps hungry.” Trilochan looked up at her words.

“But Aniruddha Babu is in his study.” Bihari looked intimidated. “Do you want me to…”

“I will take his food there.” Bondita turned back and touched Trilochan’s feet.

“The struggles won’t be easy, Kakababu.”

“You will always have my blessings,” he reassured her.

Aniruddha saw Bondita walk into the study room and was quick to wipe his tears. He sat on the edge of the coffee table, looking away, his back to her. Bondita placed the plate down on the side table as the aroma of the home-cooked meal filled the air of the room. He sighed. Bondita stopped calling out to him, a little unsure. Maybe he was angry. Maybe he was sad. Maybe he wanted to be left alone. She turned to leave. The sound of her anklet alerted him.

“Bondita?” His soft call stopped her at the threshold as she turned.

“Why are you leaving if you wanted to talk?” He asked, staring at her with his puffy eyes, and she knew he had cried. She walked up to stand beside him and cleared her throat.

“I thought you wanted to be alone with your thoughts.” She said, gathering her thoughts, “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“When do you ever disturb me?” he looked up at her, “Do I have anyone else to talk to?” A teardrop rolled down his cheek as he looked away. Bondita sat down on the couch, looking at him, her hand on his.

“Barrister Babu, you only told me we should be strong if we choose to be unique. I can’t see you being weak.” Her eyes swelled.

“I am not… I try not to be… I always thought… this is my home, my own people, Bondita. I never imagined I would have to fight against them for…” He sobbed, holding her hand in his.

“I know.” She agreed, “But you are not alone. You will never be alone. We are in this together.” She made him look up. “And you will see, someday, Baba, Dada, everyone in the village will see what we see. They will understand our vision too.” She slipped her hands from his and held his shoulder firmly “Until then, we have each other to love, respect and share with.”

He nodded, agreeing as he tried hard to control his sobs. Bondita took the corner of her anchol and wiped the tears off his cheeks. Aniruddha held her hand over the anchol and touched it to his lips. She gave him a reassuring smile and kissed his forehead in gentle affection. Aniruddha looked up and wiped her tears away, cupping her face.

“I am sorry you had to face all of this,” he whispered.

“No, Barrister Babu, I am sorry you have to fight the world for me.” She shook her head.

“I don’t ever regret that.” He shook his head.

“Will you help me pack?” She asked, hoping not to leave him alone. He nodded, taking one last look around the study. The memories of the place were all they could take with them. Memories of lost childhood and innocence, dreams and hopes, people they lost, people they love and themselves.

If there was something that spread faster than news, it definitely was gossip, and the house help's quarters were a hub for it. By dawn, the entire village knew that the Roy Chowdhury house was being split up over Aniruddha Babu’s ambitious dreams for his wife. The entire house was awake all night, and the lights already suggested so. When dawn broke the next day, it was gloomy. Grey, dark clouds covered the little sunlight that was escaping from in between every now and then, and it looked like midnight. Strong gusts of wind blew as Bihari brought a bullock cart up to the gates of the Roy Chowdhury House. The villagers stood outside their houses, eager to know if the rumours were right. Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury had refused to take the family car to the station. They were indeed headed for Calcutta.

Bondita hugged Asha in tears as both brothers stood in silence and looked away.

“Take care of yourself.” Bondita reminded Ashapurna, who smiled faintly, “You too.”

As she handed over the keys to Trilochan and touched his feet, Bondita just didn’t dare to look up at his face for fear of breaking down. 

“I have kept the heirloom jewellery back in the locker. I am only taking what you gave me with me. I don’t want to lose any of it.” She spoke, looking away as Trilochan nodded in silence.

Batuk ran to hug Aniruddha, who gently reminded him to study well. Binoy was locked in his room as Somnath stood in a corner looking away. Bondita walked up to him as Trilochan hugged Aniruddha and sobbed.

“Som Dada.”She said almost in a whisper, “You have been a good brother to me ever since I came here. I don’t know what changed in the past year, but I will keep sending you Rakhis as I will to Batuk. I hope you can see me as a sister.”

“Boudi…” he looked up at Bondita, and for the first time, Bondita could see the remorse on his face. She sighed with a faint smile. “Take care of Asha.”

“I will. Write to us.” He spoke as she nodded.

“Bondita,” Aniruddha called from the threshold as she turned. He gave her his hand, as Bondita looked a little taken aback. He nodded reassuringly. Bondita walked up to him, gave her red-painted hands in his, as they held each other’s hands firmly and stepped out of the threshold of the Roy Chowdhury house.

And thus the journey begins... Barrister Babu (Part 2)