Tujhko ambar naapna tha
Aa gayi tu zameen pe.
Bondita had earned the right to welcome Ashapurna into the household, as Malati put it. Though the Boron Dala was heavy, Bondita managed to somehow keep it straight as she went around the faces of the blushing new bride and groom seven times. Koeli then placed the plate of Alta.
"Welcome home, Choto Boudi." Batuk smiled.
Sadhana came down to sit among the ladies for the rituals as she lifted the veil up from Ashapurna's face and inspected it. The ladies sat in a circle around the new bride as the men gathered on the lawn.
"Hmm… She is fair." Sadhana smiled, cupping Asha's face. Asha lowered her gaze coyly as Sadhana looked impressed.
"Ah. She knows not to stare into the eyes of elders, unlike some people." She shot a glance at Bondita, who was talking to Prabhavati, and stopped.
"Can you cook? Clean? Sew?" Asha nodded affirmatively.
"Can you read ?" She nodded. "Do you wish to study?" Asha shook her head. Sadhana Debi glanced over at Bondita. "Good. Nothing escapes me in this house. Over-ambitious women ruin homes." She flashed a smile.
"Very well groomed by the Mukhopadhyays." Sadhana nodded.
"Has to be Pishima." Malati added, "After all, they are Kulin."
"Yes. Pedigree matters." Sadhana agreed as a few others nodded. "Binoy chose better than Trilochan. What to say about fate? Som's is better than his brother." Bondita suddenly found judgmental eyes fixed on her. She looked away awkwardly.
"Pishima." Prabhavati walked up to her. "Let me see the bride, too." She sat down to give Ashapurna a bracelet.
"I am Mashi." She made Ashapurna smile. "Welcome home."
"Tomorrow is the Bou Bhaat," Sadhana said to nobody in particular. "In our house, the new bride cooks for the guests. How many will be there?" Bondita widened her eyes at Sadhana's statement. "Nearly a thousand." Someone else said.
"Very well. Let her cook breakfast for the immediate family, then. Surely she can do that?" Sadhana looked hopefully at Ashapurna.
"But… Thakuma… It's a hundred people." Bondita spoke up, drawing her saree over her face. The women looked at each other. How could she talk over the eldest?
"So?" Sadhana Debi retorted angrily, "We all did that. Subhra Bouma used to cook for two hundred people." Bondita fought back a strong urge to ask when. "The traditions of this house have gone topsy-turvy in incompetent hands. Haven't you heard, Sangsar sukher hoy romonir gun e? What does it mean? A house becomes a happy home because of the competency of the wife." Every woman in the hall nodded. Sadhana Debi smiled. "Kids these days! When I was her age…"
"But Thakuma…" Bondita looked up with a smile. She was in no mood to back down.
"You didn't say the entire phrase." The women looked clueless. Entire phrase? That is the phrase.
"Songsar sukher hoy Romonir Gune.
Gunoban poti jodi thaake tahar shon e."
Bondita made them look up. "It means, yes, it becomes a happy home, not only if there is a competent wife, but also if her husband is equally competent to run the home." A buzz went across the room.
"Malati? Malati." Sadhana Debi raged.
"Yes, Pishima." She asked.
"Make sure she cooks alone tomorrow. And nobody, I repeat nobody, will help her. A competent wife knows how to run a home by herself." She stormed out. Ashapurna looked scared. Bondita suddenly felt guilty that she had perhaps landed Asha in trouble.
"Don't worry. " She whispered when she hugged her. "I will find a way to help you." Ashapurna smiled.
Aniruddha was about to walk up the stairs to the room he shared with Batuk. He had fallen asleep on the couch with a book. He stopped at the light coming from the kitchen. Looking at the time on the grandfather clock, Aniruddha frowned. Who was it?
Aniruddha stopped at Trilochan, hiding behind a pillar and watching with a smile. Frowning, he reached the pillar and tapped on his shoulder. Trilochan leapt.
"Aniruddha!" He exclaimed. "You scared me."
"I scared you?" He frowned. "What about you, Jetha Moshai?" He shook his head "Why are you lurking around your own house?"
"Hush." He hushed him. "Look over there."
Aniruddha spotted Bondita in front of the ignited oven, writing something.
"What is she doing?" He asked, pulling Trilochan away from the view.
"Pishima told Choto Bouma to cook the entire breakfast alone. Bondita is helping her by making the masala for all the items and writing down the recipes on paper that are kept for lighting the fire. Isn't that genius?" Trilochan smiled proudly. "She is, in a true sense, our Grihalaxmi. She will never let anything ruin our name."
"But Jetha Moshai, why didn't someone say anything to Thakuma?"
"Oh, someone did. Hence…" Trilochan nodded.
"What are you doing here?" Both of them almost shrieked to find Bondita behind them, with her hands on her waist, giving disapproving glances.
"Hush." She raised her finger to her lip.
"Kakababu, you had sleeping medicine. What are you doing here?" She looked bossy.
"I was… Bouma…. Bondita…" Trilochan looked intimidated.
"Then you will fall ill and Thakuma will blame me." She slapped her palm on her forehead and shook her head. "Nobody listens to me here. I will go mad."
"No… no… I… is your work done?" Trilochan asked eagerly. Aniruddha looked amused as Bondita shot another motherly warning glance.
"That's between me and Asha. Go to sleep." Trilochan smiled sheepishly and patted her head lovingly. "You are…" he stopped at her stare again. "Okay, I am going."
"You too." She turned to Aniruddha as Trilochan walked up the stairs. "Why are you up so early?"
"I didn't sleep. I was reading." He shrugged.
"For this long?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Um… sleeping with Batuk is a pain. He kicks." Aniruddha's sheepish smile and confession made Bondita giggle. He shot her a warning glance.
"Goodnight, Barrister Babu." She walked away.
Early at dawn, Aniruddha woke up, his head heavy from lack of sleep and back pain from Batuk's kicks. He walked down to the hall and near the kitchen to find Bondita and Trilochan at the door again. Bondita was gesturing at someone inside to open something and read. Trilochan nodded.
"Ahem." He crossed his arms across his chest and looked at them. Bondita and Trilochan stared back at him.
"Now what?" He asked.
"Asha is cooking." Bondita shrugged.
"But I need my coffee." He frowned.
"Not now, Aniruddha." Trilochan snapped. "Can't you see, Pishima is sitting with her. Bondita can't go in."
Before they could blink, Aniruddha was in the kitchen; Asha pulled her saree more over her head, and Sadhana Debi frowned.
"What is he doing?" Trilochan exclaimed in a whisper to Bondita.
"What are you doing here?" Sadhana Debi asked. "It's no place for men."
"I am here to make coffee." He shrugged. "I heard Bondita isn't allowed here, so I thought…"
"She can make it." Sadhana pointed at Ashapurna. "Can't you, girl?" Ashapurna shook her head.
"Fine. Let your wife come in. But dare she help or do anything, or you come back, I will not tolerate it." He nodded.
Bondita walked in and sat beside Ashapurna, exchanging a glance. While making the coffee, Bondita swiftly tasted the curry and added salt.
"Thank you," Ashapurna whispered. She nodded and walked away with the cup.
"Thank you." Aniruddha looked up from the morning paper as Bondita placed the cup down on the table. "You found a way to get me in there." She smiled.
"I really needed the coffee." He shrugged indifferently.
The guests were to start pouring in soon after. Bondita was getting ready in the room, taking out the new blue saree she had bought. She painted her hands and feet and put on her jewellery. Then her eyes fell on the packet on her dressing table. Ira and Prabhavati had already got ready and gone downstairs, and she wondered if it was theirs. Aniruddha walked out of the washroom, dripping wet, in his pyjamas, and the towel across his bare shoulders and stopped at her sight. He had chosen this saree. Bondita looked away, carefully, trying to find the hairpin of gold for her hair. She had no idea he was in the washroom all along.
Aniruddha walked up to the dressing table and took his perfume. He sprayed it and took his comb, carefully avoiding touch with her. He then looked at the folded paper packet.
"I didn't find tuberoses. Got you a jasmine garland instead." He said, unfolding to reveal the garland. "Is that okay?" Bondita nodded. She took the garland from the unwrapped paper and clipped it to her hair. Then she drew her hairline with sindoor, making him stop unbuttoning his shirt and stare. Bondita cleared her throat to make him look away, and she walked away silently. Aniruddha smiled.
The first person Bondita greeted among the guests was Saudamini. The very moment she saw her, she ran for a hug. Saudamini smiled at her married look. It was then that Bondita realised perhaps things would be different with Pari Didi henceforth.
"I have lots to talk to you about." Saudamini smiled while holding her hand. "Once the ceremony is over, let's go sit by the jheel." She nodded.
Aniruddha was happy to see his school friends after so long. All of them had families, children and secure jobs. But their hugs still felt the same.
"You got married and you didn't even invite us." Akashdeep rebuked. "Forgot your desi friends for London?"
"What are you saying?" Laughed Tapash. "We were at the original one. Remember?"
"Oh yes. The one he denied." Akashdeep smiled. Aniruddha looked awkward.
"So tell us, how is married life?" Tapash patted him. "What to hide from friends?" Aniruddha's eyes travelled across the courtyard to Bondita, standing with Saudamini.
What were they talking about?
"Has anyone seen Nikhil?" Bina looked across the crowd. "Bouma? Have you?" Bondita shook her head. She hadn't seen Nikhil in a long time since morning.
"Come, let's go to the jheel." Saudamini held her hand. Bondita nodded.
"Asha." She whispered. "Is it okay if I go away for a bit?"
"Don't worry, Boudi. I am here." Ira smiled. Bondita nodded.
"Saudamini?" They stopped at the call of Sadhana Debi. "Is that you?"
Saudamini walked up to Sadhana Debi and touched her feet.
"Oh, how you have grown!" Sadhana Debi gushed. "And so beautiful." She cupped Saudamini's smiling face. "If I were given a choice, I'd have made you this house's daughter-in-law." Saudamini's smile faded as she looked at Bondita, who looked away.
"Excuse us, Thakuma." She held Bondita's hand and walked away.
The jheel side of the back of the mansion was relatively secluded. It overlooked the rooms often used as washrooms. Bondita's eyes stopped at the shade of a tree. She could spot Sampoorna. Her heart skipped a beat. Nikhil was there too. They were talking about something. Nikhil was moving his hands, explaining something.
"Bondita?" Saudamini tapped on her shoulder "Where are you lost?" She frowned. "I asked how you are."
"I am well, Pari Didi." She smiled. "I…Just…"
"Are you bothered about Thakuma? Please don't be." Saudamini reassured her.
"So, Aniruddha. The one who wanted to bring change." Chittaranjan spoke, hugging him. He was one of Aniruddha's old friends. "Are you back permanently?" He raised his eyebrows as the others smiled. "Left London?"
"Aree Bhai, why won't he?" Tapash smiled. "After all, his heart was here." He joked.
"Oh yes. Can you believe it?" Chittaranjan spoke, "The guy who stopped talking to me because I married a six-year-old, gave long speeches about child marriage… How old is your wife? Accepted the child marriage right?" The others looked at each other as Aniruddha looked pale. Opening his mouth, he was about to speak.
"Yes, yes, we understand, she must be pretty. You must be attracted." Chittaranjan joked, " Such a hypocrite."
"Stop pulling his leg." Others laughed.
"How are things with Aniruddha?" Saudamini smiled. "Are you happy?"
Bondita nodded. "Pari didi… It's not like… we are… he wants me to study. He will help me fulfil my dreams."
"And he cares, right?" Saudamini asked. Bondita nodded. "He cares for everyone."
"But you are not everyone, Bondita. You are his wife. Sooner or later, you will know the difference." Saudamini reassured her.
"The difference?" Bondita asked.
"Yes. I am not experienced enough. But, you will find things that would belong only to the two of you, away from the rest of the world." Saudamini smiled. "And you will fall in love."
"Love?" Bondita suddenly remembered their close proximity when she put on his buttons and gulped.
"Yes, Bondita." Saudamini chuckled. "Why are both of you so afraid of the word?" She teased. "And if you ask me, I think you are already in love." Bondita blushed slightly.
"But Pari didi. Everyone here says I am not fit enough to be…"
"Bondita." Saudamini shook her head. "Everyone in the family loves you. These relatives will barely stay for a month."
"But… Pari didi…" Bondita blushed.
"He loves you enough not to expect or force anything on you. You are lucky, Bondita. Men generally show their love, and expect women to show it too."
"You don't understand. I married her only because I want her to study and her family…"
"That's just your excuse." Chiitaranjan interrupted. "How long will you not act on your husband's rights? Sooner or later, you'll act on it. You are no sanyasi." The others agreed.
"Besides, Aniruddha, you may treat her differently. What about your family?" Tapash added. "She does everything our wives do. And live up to your expectations, too. If you were against all this…"
"Moral of the story is, Aniruddha, you can't go beyond society and do anything. You have to accept and comply with its rules."
"But you don't understand…." Aniruddha shook his head.
"Do you?" Chittaranjan spoke. "Can you cross your heart and say that you never ever liked her as a wife?" He shook his head. "It doesn't work that way."
Aniruddha walked away fuming.
"Aree, you got angry again, did you?" Chittaranjan shook his head. "Come back here."
"If I could, I'd have chosen Saudamini for Aniruddha. He's a London returned Barrister. Deserves better than that poor Das girl." Sadhana spoke as Malati and Bina exchanged glances. "Even if not her, there are so many good women out there. Young girls."
"I agree with Pishima. I once told Dewordada about my niece. She would have been perfect for Aniruddha." Malati spoke. "No wonder he refused. This girl trapped him."
"I was saying…" Bina looked around and shut the door of Sadhana's room behind her. "Men marry twice all the time. If Pishima wants, they can't deny it."
"But the other one will always be the Choto Bou." Malati shrugged. "Bondita will always have the upper hand. "
"Not if she can become Aniruddha's favourite." Sadhana smiled. "Good suggestion, Bina."
"Dadabhai. I was looking for you." Nikhil spoke as Aniruddha looked up at him. Aniruddha was sitting on the spiral staircase of the study, away from the crowd, when Nikhil came looking for him.
"I want to stay a few more days at Tulsipur. Help with your girls' school." Aniruddha looked up at his face.
"Are you sure? Will Pishi be okay with it?" He asked.
"I don't know. She shouldn't have a problem with me staying in Mamabari longer." He shrugged. "Where is boudi?" Aniruddha shook his head as Nikhil walked away.
Bondita blushed as Saudamini's words came to her mind, as she lit the lamps in the evening and folded her hands in front of Maa Durga. She slid a letter in when nobody was watching.
Maa,
I don't know what love is. But all I know is that, if this is how it feels, it is what I want to feel with him for the rest of my life. Thank you for bringing him to me. You gave me all the strength I needed. His support to make my life significant is all I need. His care is all I seek. I will treasure all the smallest things in my life. Bless our dreams. Your daughter.
She was glowing with new hope. The next day, when all the guests would be gone and they would be back to their old routine, Bondita planned to observe him, like others did. And try to reciprocate. She blushed at the idea.
It was evening, and the study was dark. Aniruddha still sat in the spiral staircase, hearing the bells and conch shells in the Thakur dalan. He closed his eyes. The lingering touch of her soft fingers haunted his feelings. He tried to shake it off, and her smiling face appeared. Could they be right? Would his attraction ultimately hamper her future? Was he actually like the rest of them? Was Bondita really like the rest of the women? Her dreams were bigger than these four walls, the kitchen, gossip and jewellery. Was he putting her down? Aniruddha was in a dilemma.
"He said he will stay a few more days. So unlike him." Bina's words made Bondita look up from the coconut she was breaking. "Nikhil hates to socialise."
"This is his Mamabari. And family Bina." Sadhana Debi held her rosary and spoke. "Let him stay."
"We are leaving tomorrow," Malati said. "Kadambini should get home. In comfort. What about you?"
" My husband will pick us up in a week or two," Prabhavati said.
"Stay till the Durga Puja." Sadhana Debi smiled. "I will. Now you have two Boumas to take care of us." She made Prabhavati nod.
"That reminds me." Bina got up. "Boro Bouma, take Kadambini with you and help prepare Asha for tonight." She suppressed a giggle. Bondita looked up at her words. "And tell her what she needs to know." Bondita glanced over at Prabhavati, who gave her a sympathetic smile as she walked away.
Aniruddha wiped away the tears that blurred his vision. He was angry. With the world and himself. Bondita was right. They did indirectly support the very thing they were against. She had the brains to realise that. He didn't. And love? What did she even know of it? Or the implied complexities of a relationship between a man and a woman. She was pure. She was full of hope. And she was facing constant scrutiny because he could find no other way than this, a marriage. Aniruddha didn't want her to be compelled to choose him ever. Bondita was always opinionated. She should have chosen who she wanted to be. Not compelled into a marriage because of her dreams. He had put a cost on her dreams.
Bondita held Asha's cold hands reassuringly as she led her into Somnath's room. Kadambini gushed.
"At first, it's scary and painful. Then you learn to enjoy it." She said, making the new bride look wide-eyed.
"Tell her, Bondita." Asha looked at Bondita with hope. She appeared scared. Bondita gulped.
"Don't do anything you are uncomfortable with." She managed. Kadambini shrugged.
"No. No. Don't say no to him today. You have the rest of your life for fake headaches." She giggled. "Bondita? Does Dada let you go that easily?" She raised her eyebrows. "Lucky you."
"She is very lucky," Asha said. "I have never seen someone care as much as he does." Bondita blushed.
All this while Aniruddha had imagined he was the string that made Bondita's kite of dreams fly higher. Was he really? Or was he the cage holding her back? Chittaranjan could see through him. Did that mean she could, too? Would she be compelled to choose to be his wife over everything else? He suddenly remembered Trilochan's praises for her household skills, Thakuma's taunts, and everyone's prying eyes. All the time, he was proud of his Bondita being effortlessly skilled, but it haunted him. She was just a teenager. Society had stolen away her childhood. He was in some way coming in the way of her dream. Aniruddha made up his mind. He couldn't let his heart rule his mind. He couldn't let himself fall for her. Was it too late? He couldn't come between her and her dreams. He had to make up his mind.
