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Colours of Life

Thaam kar mere haat ko
Kadam sang barha le...

Bondita stared wide-eyed as Saudamini arrived in a white ball gown. 
"You look like a princess." She exclaimed. "So pretty."
Saudamini pressed her right cheek and asked, "Where is Aniruddha?"
Bondita shrugged. She hadn't seen him all day. It was Bihari who told them that he told them to wait in the Jalsa room. Bondita's eyes lit up. She had only heard of the Jalsaghar. She was never allowed there. But today, Kakababu himself gave permission to follow Saudamini and Aniruddha along.

On entering the Jalsaghar, the first thing Aniruddha noticed was Bondita, in her braided hair and light blue saree, twirling right in the middle of the dance floor. Her anklets made music and added to her giggles as Saudamini smiled at her.
"This place is huge!" She smiled as her voice echoed around the empty walls.
He then noticed Saudamini, who had taken an effort for a proper ball look. Her eyes travelled to him to catch him in his usual attire, and she frowned a little.
"I sent you the attire, Aniruddha." Saudamini's voice made Bondita stop twirling. She looked up at Aniruddha, frowning at Saudamini. He seemed to be in a bad mood. She adjusted her hair and stepped back. 
"I thought it was for the party. Anyway, should we start? I don't have the whole evening." Saudamini nodded. 
Bondita stood at the corner where the gramophone was kept. 
"Let me teach you how to play this." Aniruddha approached her with a rather serious face.
"Oh, I know." She smiled intelligently. "I observed you." He was impressed. "Very well. You can start and stop the music then." She nodded.

When Saudamini stepped on his foot for the third time, Aniruddha lost his patience. They had no coordination, and Saudamini wasn't even trying hard. At first, she wanted him to hold her waist while he held her back instead. Then she was staring. It intimidated Aniruddha. He looked away, keeping a straight face. Then she started tripping and stepping on his shoes. 
"What are you doing, Mini?" He stepped away, frustrated. "How will you learn like this?"
"It's very difficult." She looked confused. "I am trying."
"Then try harder." Aniruddha snapped. "It is very easy." 
He closed his eyes to regain composure. "Okay, let's try again."
"If it's so easy, why don't you teach Bondita?" Saudamini snapped. "Maybe I can watch and learn for a change."

Bondita looked up with hopeful eyes. Honestly, she found it easy. 1.2.3.4. forward and backwards.
"She is too young for this." Aniruddha shook his head. "She can learn it later."
"She is not ." Saudamini rolled her eyes. "Bondita, come here." She called Bondita to her side. 
"But she is in a saree," Aniruddha spoke again. "You can't dance in a gown, how will she…"
"It's okay, Pari Didi." Bondita made Aniruddha look up at her. "I have a lot of work. You continue, I should go." She almost walked past him in a hurry. Bondita knew he was avoiding it. She didn't know why. Only she felt bad. Was it because she wasn't one of them? Or worse, she was not talented enough for such grooming. She inhaled and walked away from the Jalsaghar.
"Look. You hurt her." Saudamini spoke the minute she left. "What's wrong with you? What's the harm if she learns?"
"She has better things to learn at her age." Aniruddha snapped. Saudamini inhaled and shook her head.
"It is so difficult to understand you."
"I think we should do this some other time, Mini," Aniruddha suggested. 

He suddenly felt guilty. Perhaps he had pushed Bondita away more rudely than he intended to. Perhaps she was hurt. Perhaps she understood he was avoiding it.
"Yes, that's a good idea. I'd better leave." Saudamini smiled politely, shook her head and walked away. Aniruddha too walked out of the Jalsaghar and went to look for Bondita. He checked the sitting area, the kitchen, the dining room, and the balconies, and even peeped into her room. She was nowhere. He frowned. Where was she?

"Rakkhosh Babu Ekta!"
Bondita sat under the table in the study room, savouring the Rosogollas she got from the kitchen. This had become her habit. Whenever someone scolded her, or she was hurt or angry, she would sit under the study table and savour a few rosogollas to make her feel better. What she forgot is that with Aniruddha around, the study room was not the best empty corner of the house anymore. 

Aniruddha stepped into the study as his eyes fell on the colour of her saree, under the table. He frowned. Bondita looked blissfully unaware. He tiptoed to the table and stood in front of it, pretending to think aloud.
"Now, where did Bondita go?" She stopped at his words. "I was looking for her everywhere. If I found her, I would have asked her…." He wondered, "But how can I…"
"Asked me what?" Bondita sprang up from under the table, eager to know. Aniruddha hid a triumphant smile.
"Ask you what you are doing there?" He raised his brows and crossed his arms. 
"You knew I was here?" She frowned on realising. "You tricked me!"
"I didn't trick you. I was just speaking to myself.  By the way, why are you here?"
"I am eating." She shrugged.
"Under the table?" He asked, "Hiding?"
"I am not wanted around so… " She stopped and looked away. Then she looked up at him again. "Ask me what?"
Aniruddha smiled.
"Would you like to learn dancing?" 
Her eyes went wide. "Shotti?" 
"Shotti."
"But what about the saree?" She looked perplexed. "You said…"
"If you can climb trees in that, dancing is quite easy." He made her smile. "Let's go." She nodded and followed him back to the dance room.

"Where is Pari Didi?" She asked, looking around.
"She went home." He said, setting the gramophone.
"Were you rude to her, too?" Her words made him look up. He shook his head. "I didn't mean to be rude to anyone. I just feel some things should be age-appropriate."
"I am not a child." She frowned. 
"You are the youngest in the house." He shrugged.
"I am older than Batuk, I think. That doesn't make me a child." She shook her head. "Everyone treats me like an adult. Bihari Babu and Koeli Didi call me Malkin."
"Actually, they call you Choto Malkin. That means you are small."
"No. It means smaller than the rest." She sounded irked.
" I don't want to learn. You are the Shikshak Babu. If you don't feel right…"
"Place your hand here." He tapped at his shoulder, making her stop.

Bondita stepped forward, putting her right arm over his shoulder gently. She was a bit shorter than he was; her head hardly reached his shoulders, so she had to extend her arm a little more. Aniruddha cupped her left palm into his right one. He then gently placed his left arm across her back, almost feather-touching her blouse.
"1.2.3.4. forward. Back." He explained, "Keep up with the foot movement. Let me lead. I step back, you will step forward, I step forward, you will go back. Understood?" She nodded with an excited smile.  She was concentrating on her feet.
"Also, you shouldn't look down. Always chin up." He adjusted her chin with his left hand before placing it back on her back. She looked up at him and nodded.
"Ready?" He asked. She smiled.

They glided through the dance floor. His eyes caught hers. His grip on her hand, holding it, tightened naturally with the movement. 
"If I am a child, so are you." She said, her eyes sparkling in mischief as he narrowed his eyebrows.
"And how is that?" He asked, his eyes not leaving hers as they danced perfectly to the beat. 
"Because they call you Choto Malik too." She giggled.
"Bondita!" He made an angry face, although his eyes gave away the fact that he was impressed by her intelligence.
"Turn." He instructed. 
"What?" Bondita looked clueless. He tapped at her shoulder, making her turn as he rotated her hand in his. Bondita lost her balance and started giggling.

"What's wrong?" Aniruddha asked to stop. "You were doing fine."
"That felt ticklish." She laughed, backing away from him, as he let go of the grip on her hand. Aniruddha suddenly felt conscious. He looked away.
"Oh. I almost forgot. Not only did I do the allotted homework, but I also learned 3 more letters from the book. I will show you." She looked excited as he nodded. She walked away, talking to herself out loud about where she must have kept her notebook. Aniruddha stood at the empty Jalsaghar and sighed. He had no idea what he was doing. 



Dol Purnima was a day of subtle celebrations for the Roy Chowdhury family. The morning puja of Radha Krishna was done by Zamindar Trilochan Roy Chowdhury at the temple, and it was followed by the Bhog and clothes distribution to the poor. Then the young men loitered around the lawn, smearing each other with colours. The women played with abir on the rooftop, away from the gaze of men. 

Bondita took out an old orange saree she found apt to play colours in after the morning prayers were over. But she was soon called on by Koeli to be present on the temple premises before she changed her puja attire.
She nodded, walking across the crowd, which still looked disapprovingly at her, to where Trilochan and Aniruddha stood.
"Today, I will not be distributing the Bhog and clothes. Aniruddha will give away the clothes while Bondita will offer the blog." He declared. Aniruddh looked up at his face, suspiciously. Why them? The poor people stood in a line one after another, first receiving the clothes, then the Bhog, before they thanked and blessed the duo and went their separate ways.

"I remember Baba and Maa used to do this every year." Somnath's words made Aniruddha glance over to Bondita. She was busy asking a child his name. "Don't you remember Dada?"
"I do." He nodded.
"Wouldn't it have been better if she were still here?" Somnath sighed. Aniruddha placed his hand gently on his brother's shoulder.
"I understand that you miss her."
Bondita looked up at the brothers at his words.

Soon, Bondita greeted the ladies on the rooftop in her old orange saree. It was Ashapurna who first smeared her with colours before they hugged each other and giggled.
"Dada, come, let's play." Batuk invited Aniruddha to walk into the study, but he looked reluctant. "I will be there in a while." He said. He waited for Batuk to leave, shutting the door of the study from inside. He then shut the windows too. 

Bondita noticed she had missed bringing a packet of colours from the study. She went over to the spiral staircase in a hurry and ran down. Aniruddha was at the bottom of the staircase, staring at a picture of his mother that hung on the wall. 

"Aaaah." Bondita shrieked as she almost stumbled in the semi-dark study, tripping over him. He jolted away, scared, screaming as well, as they stared at each other.
"You!" She sighed.
"Bondita!" He took a breath. "What is wrong with you?" 
"I just came to… why are you here?" She frowned at the lack of colour on his face.
"I don't… ever since…" he managed to look away. He shouldn't have opened his mouth.
"I heard it was her favourite festival." He looked up at Bondita's words. "You must miss her "
He nodded. 
"But what would she have done if she saw you here?" Bondita asked, looking for the misplaced packet, her back to him.
Aniruddha smiled. "She would have smeared me with colour. She hated seeing anyone without it." He remembered.
"Then what is stopping you now?" Bondita turned, holding the packet in her palm. "You have to start somewhere. She will be happy."
He looked up at her words and back at the packet. It was a magenta colour. Bondita raised her eyebrows. 
"I am waiting." She said, Aniruddha took a deep breath.

"You won't let go if I just say no, I guess." He inferred.
"Absolutely not." She shook her head.
"Very well then." He took some colour from the packet and put it on his own cheek. "There you go." Bondita frowned.
"Oho, Barrister Babu." She shrugged. She took some colour on her hand and smeared it on his cheek before he could react. "It's meant to colour others. Not yourself." Aniruddha was a little taken aback by the touch of her soft palm on his cheek. Bondita smiled and walked away with the packet, up the spiral staircase, as he watched her go.


Words"
Jalsaghar: All Zamindar/Royal houses had a room for entertainment, mainly meant for dancers and singers, where women were prohibited from going. 
Dol Purnima: Originally started because of Vaishnavism, Holi in Bengal is celebrated as Dol Jatra, with the worship of Lord Krishna and Radha and smearing of colour under Vaishnava traditions that got incorporated into mainstream Bengali Hinduism.




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