The Letter

Dear… Guy to whom I am writing my last letter,

It’s been a long time since I wrote to you. I was busy. But I am sure you have no complaints since you don’t reply to any of my letters anyway. No, I am not disappointed. I am stopping here. There will be no more letters. Not to you or anyone, anymore.

The day you left, I feared you leaving me more emotionally than physically. You made me believe that was impossible. I trusted you. I am glad I did. At least now I don’t regret anything. I will never need to look back and think “What if I gave myself that chance?”

I am glad we shared a wonderful journey. From being complete strangers to a beautiful bond of friendship and understanding that ultimately bloomed into the feeling I feared the most… Love.

I still remember the day you left. It was pouring heavily. The sky did what I couldn’t as I smiled strongly, holding back my tears. You were chasing your dreams; I couldn’t be your weakness. You had promised me nothing would change. Well, you didn’t. Your hug did. I heard what you never said. Assumed you were not good with words.

The first few months were the toughest. I was getting used to life without you. I wrote down everything I felt, saw and experienced in the letters to you. Your first letter made my heart dance. My friends teased me, saying we were old-fashioned lovers. It was rare and perfect. The way it felt. Maybe too perfect. As I feared.

I kept reading the letter until each one of the punctuation marks was vivid in my memory. Like it was the only thing to keep me going, my reason to live.

But I didn’t know that it was your last one as well. I waited religiously, every month, for replies that never arrived. All that I got were excuses. People around me had started speculating. Friends, family. They were sure you had lost interest. Why wouldn’t you? The world was such a large place full of options.

I had to face it; you had drifted away, and eventually, the calls decreased in the name of work. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I didn’t want to confront you from miles away. So, I waited.

I didn’t know that one phone call could change my life forever. Make me question myself. My senses and feelings. My doubts and expectations. I met you after two years. Yes, you had changed. You appeared more calm and composed. Perhaps nervous about what you were about to say. Your face scared me. I felt like my worst nightmare was coming true.

It’s been almost a year since that day. I have been busy in life. The way it shaped and turned out to be. You have been busy in a different country. You had travelled across half the world for your work, perhaps. I was busy making a home for myself, the way I wanted.

This is my last letter to you. Because I moved on. I moved on from being in a long-distance relationship, endless waits, and being the girlfriend you never ever spoke to about your feelings. I moved on from being the girl who waited while you travelled the world. I am done waiting for you.

Today onward, we start a new journey. And looking back, I am glad we met. I am glad you came into my life. As my lesson, experience, and love. I am glad you called that day. And I had left all the uncertainties to see you.

Because…

From this day, we start afresh. We travel. Together. Stay Together. Dream together. We build a home together. I am glad you gave me everything and more.

Yours, always.

Mrs. Ajabdeh Pratap Singh.

My Everything

Kunwar Pratap stormed into the Mahal at Gogunda amidst uncertainty and chaos. Happy faces of the chieftains and soldiers welcomed him as Rawat Chundawat, and some other chieftains stopped the ongoing Raj Tilak. A visibly scared Kunwar Jagmal looked clueless at a visibly angry Kunwar Pratap. Rani Dheerbai Bhatiyani hadn't expected Kunwar Pratap to show up, that too, despite her conveying to him his father's last wish of crowning Kunwar Jagmal. Twenty-one days after Udai Singh's death, she was finally close to a dream she had dared to dream since Jagmal was born. He was not informed about the Raj Tilak as per Dheerbai's instructions. She eyed Rawat Ji. He must have assembled the chiefs to this revolt against her son, against the dead king. No one except them knew where Kunwar Pratap was staying. It was for the safety of his family. " What are you doing, Chotima?" A disappointed voice was directed at her. She could stoop down so low? For the first time, an anger...

Purnota: Chapter Thirty Six

Bondita opened her door in the usual hours of the morning and found Thamma and Jyatha Moshai on the couch in their living room, sipping tea. She had half sat on her bed, leaning against the pillow all night, imagining her plight when she faced Aniruddha in the morning. What if he did not think of it as much as she thought of his actions? What if that was his uncomfortable way of comforting her because she was upset? But what about his eyes, his gestures? Had she misread all of it? Bondita blushed to herself the moment she remembered how his eyes followed her around for the past two days. Bondita was hurrying through her daily chores, eyeing the clock, for she would be late for work and overheard Trilochon lament about things not changing since Binoy left. He thought that things were getting better at home, but as soon as Aniruddha had left for Sunderban, Binoy informed him that he had changed the attorney in charge of his case. Bondita frowned slightly as her hand stopped at wearing th...

Purnota: Chapter Thirty Five

“The bride is older than the groom.” Aniruddha heard one of the older villagers speak in a judgmental tone. “No wonder the higher castes don’t attend such atrocities.” He eyed the younger man he was talking to, who smiled. Aniruddha was sitting beside them on a bench in the open courtyard of a house where the wedding rituals were taking place. Tirio and Tumdak were playing rhythmically in a corner as some women danced to the tunes surrounding the new bride and groom. The men sat on the other side of the courtyard. “Forget about the Brahmins, we don’t expect them to come.” The younger man shook his head. “As for traditions, what is wrong if the bride is older?” He smiled sheepishly at the older man. “What’s wrong? Everything. Master Moshai, you can be educated, but our ancient traditions have reasons. The groom must be older than the bride. It has some reason.” He shook his head. The teacher, in turn, educated the man that it was a perfectly normal Santhali ritual to marry older wo...

Purnota: Chapter Thirty Seven

“Why will Bondita not come for Holi?” Asha asked as she inspected the colours, Abir, Pichkiri and balloons Somnath had ordered from Baro Bazaar. He shrugged. “She is scared of colours, I think.” Asha smiled, a little amused at her clueless husband. “She is not ten anymore.” He looked up at her words with a sheepish smile, “Well, I never saw her play Holi, perhaps Dadabhai knows the reason.” Asha contemplated her husband’s words. She did not share a relationship with Aniruddha frank enough for him to share things about Bondita. It would be easier for her to ask Bondita instead. “If you wish for her to come,” Som said, like he could almost read her mind, “Perhaps you can invite her. She won’t say no to you.” Asha nodded. “It will be good to have the whole family together. It's not been so since the wedding.” She smiled. Som agreed as he matched the list with the things. “Yes, and Baba will be coming too, he told me not to tell Jethu, but I was surprised by that.” “Maybe because he an...

Purnota: Chapter Thirty Eight

Trilochon was so overwhelmed that Binoy came for the Pujo and Kirtan on Dol Purnima. Their neighbours, friends and acquaintances had all gathered in the Thakur Dalan, first for the pujo when the idol of Sree Radha and Sree Krishna were worshipped in the Dalan, and Horir Loot of Batasha and Naru were distributed. Unlike in the village, people here, especially children, did not fight over the Horir Loot . Bondita and Batuk took part in the ritual like they used to as kids, counting the number of Batasha each of them had, amusing the elders who reminisced about their childhood and how Batuk snatched Bondita’s share and ran as she chased after him, shouting. The Kirtan followed the pujo, the tales of Sree Krishna’s prowess, his Leela and Radha’s sacrifice were sung with the sounds of Dhol and Khanjani . It followed the devotional songs praising Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and his praises to Lord Krishna. Bondita not only liked the stories of Kirtan but also how the crowd joined in the singing and...

Towards You

The Afghans, after Sher Shah Suri's untimely demise, were at loggerheads for power. Their troops near Mewar were now led by Mehmood Shah. They secretly captured territories in the forests and waited to attack Mewari camps when the time was right. Rawat Chundawat and his spies had confirmed the news, and Udai Singh sent a warning to Mehmood Shah to withdraw his troops from Mewar in vain. Now that it was out in the open, it was time they declared war. Mehmood Shah had limited resources in Mewar. His internal rebellion against his commander did not help his cause. His spies clearly suggested that in no way could he win, especially with Kunwar Pratap leading his troops. He was having second thoughts about the war. It was then that one of his aides suggested a perfect plan. Maharani Jaivanta Bai had decided to go to the Mahakaleshwar Temple near the outskirts of Chittorgarh, in the forestlands of Bhilwara. They had travelled a long way and across the Gambhiri river that meandered during...

Endless

Kunwar Pratap reached the Dangal. Ranima had ordered Ajabdeh to practise regularly. She was nowhere around since he woke up that morning. He had assumed she was with Ranima for the morning prayers, but then she was not in the Dangal on time, either. Ajabdeh was never late. He felt a little uneasy as he picked up the sword. A thunder made him look up at the gloomy sky as he felt the first drop of rain. A little wet, he ran through the corridors. Ajabdeh had woken up feeling unwell. He was sleeping after a tiring day, so she decided against calling him and, more, worrying him. She bathed, hoping to feel better, performed her puja and went to the gardens for some fresh air. Still feeling uneasy in the gloomy weather, she decided that playing with Parvati might make her feel better. After some talk with Bhago and playing with Parvati, she stood up from the floor and felt dizzy. Bhago caught her hand. " Are you all right?" " I just felt a little dizzy. I don't know why...

The Difficulties

“The best of our characters are often reflected in our children.” Kunwar Shakta had visited the court at Udaipur after a Turk marriage offer was turned down by Rana Udai Singh for the third time for one of his Princesses. The Ranimahal at Chittorgarh buzzed with rumours of him warning his father about the consequences of enemity with the Turks and also about the impending doom of Mewar. He had apparently irked Kunwar Partap by suggesting a peace alliance with the Timurids was beneficial to Mewar. Rana Udai Singh, in his anger, had banished him from his court. Kunwar Shakta had sworn not to be associated with the royal family any further and to join allies with the Turks. Rawat Chundawat was calm enough to pacify the angry prince and offer him to shift to Bassi and give his decision a second thought. However, Kunwar Partap had refused to abandon Chittor, defying his father’s orders for a shift to the newly founded capital with his Ranimahal. He wanted to stay at Chittorgarh, which...

His Wife

" Where is the Kesar, Rama? And the Kalash?" Ajabdeh looked visibly displeased at the ladies who ran around. " They are at the fort gates, and nothing is ready yet!" She exclaimed. She was clad in a red lehenga and the jewellery she had inherited as the first Kunwarani of the crown prince. Little Amar ran down the hallway towards his mother. " Maasa Maasa... who is coming with Daajiraj?" His innocent question made her heart sink. " Bhanwar Ji." Sajja Bai called out to him. " Come here, I will tell you." Amar rushed to his Majhli Dadisa., " Ajabdeh." She turned at Jaivanta Bai's call. "They are here." " M... My Aarti thali..." Ajabde looked lost like never before. Jaivanta Bai held her stone-cold hands, making her stop. She patted her head and gave her a hug. The hug gave her the comfort she was looking for as her racing heart calmed down. Jaivanta Bai left her alone with her thaal. " Maa sa!" ...

Purnota: Chapter Forty One

Kalindi stood looking at the Ganga in the distance as Trilochon watched her. It was later in the night, and the stars were veiling the clear summer sky. A cool breeze blew from the Ganga, relaxing Kalindi’s restless heart as she took a stroll. Trilochon had spotted her in the garden from his balcony and walked up to her. She did not turn as he came up behind her and cleared his throat. “I apologise for storming off like that.” He was the first to speak. Kalindi inhaled. “Have you heard that she went to borrow a saree from Bouma to wear to some party?” Kalindi spoke rather monotonously. “Yes, Bouma said so.” Trilochon cleared his throat. He left out the part where Asha enthusiastically told him about Bondita blushing and her idea of telling Bondita to confess her feelings. Instead, Trilochon added, “The senior is very influential. He can have some good contacts for Bondita. Perhaps enough for her to get a job in Kolkata, like you wanted.” Kalindi could hear through his unconvincing...

RAABTA

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