Dear… Guy to whom I am writing my last letter,
It’s been
a long time since I wrote to you. I was busy. But I am sure you have no
complaints since you don’t reply to any of my letters anyway. No, I am not
disappointed. I am stopping here. There will be no more letters. Not to you or
anyone, anymore.
The day
you left, I feared you leaving me more emotionally than physically. You made me
believe that was impossible. I trusted you. I am glad I did. At least now I
don’t regret anything. I will never need to look back and think “What if I gave
myself that chance?”
I am glad
we shared a wonderful journey. From being complete strangers to a beautiful
bond of friendship and understanding that ultimately bloomed into the feeling
I feared the most… Love.
I still
remember the day you left. It was pouring heavily. The sky did what I couldn’t
as I smiled strongly, holding back my tears. You were chasing your dreams; I
couldn’t be your weakness. You had
promised me nothing would change. Well, you didn’t. Your hug did. I heard what
you never said. Assumed you were not good with words.
The first
few months were the toughest. I was getting used to life without you. I wrote down
everything I felt, saw and experienced in the letters to you. Your first letter
made my heart dance. My friends teased me, saying we were old-fashioned lovers.
It was rare and perfect. The way it felt. Maybe too perfect. As I feared.
I kept
reading the letter until each one of the punctuation marks was vivid in my memory.
Like it was the only thing to keep me going, my reason to live.
But I
didn’t know that it was your last one as well. I waited religiously, every
month, for replies that never arrived. All that I got were excuses. People
around me had started speculating. Friends, family. They were sure you had lost
interest. Why wouldn’t you? The world was such a large place full of options.
I had to
face it; you had drifted away, and eventually, the calls decreased in the name of work.
I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I didn’t want to confront you from miles
away. So, I waited.
I didn’t
know that one phone call could change my life forever. Make me question myself.
My senses and feelings. My doubts and expectations. I met you after two years.
Yes, you had changed. You appeared more calm and composed. Perhaps nervous
about what you were about to say. Your face scared me. I felt like my worst
nightmare was coming true.
It’s been
almost a year since that day. I have been busy in life. The way it shaped and
turned out to be. You have been busy in a different country. You had travelled across half the world for your work, perhaps. I was busy making a home
for myself, the way I wanted.
This is
my last letter to you. Because I moved on. I moved on from being in a long-distance relationship, endless waits, and being the girlfriend you never ever spoke
to about your feelings. I moved on from being the girl who waited while you
travelled the world. I am done waiting for you.
Today onward, we start a new journey. And looking back, I am glad we met. I am glad
you came into my life. As my lesson, experience, and love. I am glad you called that day. And I had left all the uncertainties to see you.
Because…
From this
day, we start afresh. We travel. Together. Stay Together. Dream together. We
build a home together. I am glad you gave me everything and more.
Yours,
always.