The Letter

Dear… Guy to whom I am writing my last letter,

It’s been a long time since I wrote to you. I was busy. But I am sure; you have no complaints since you don’t reply back to any of my letters anyway. No, I am not disappointed. I am stopping here. There will be no more letters. Not to you or anyone, anymore.

The day you left, I feared you leaving me more emotionally than physically. You made me believe that was impossible. I trusted you. I am glad I did. At least now I don’t regret anything. I will never need to look back and think “What if I gave myself that chance?”

I am glad we shared a wonderful journey. From being complete strangers to a beautiful bond of friendship and understanding that ultimately bloomed into the feeling I feared the most… Love.

I still remember the day you left. It was pouring heavily. The sky did what I couldn’t as I smiled strongly holding back my tears. You were chasing your dreams; I couldn’t be your weakness. You had promised me nothing will change. Well, you didn’t. Your hug did. I heard what you never said. Assumed you were not good with words.

The first few months were the toughest. I was getting used to life without you. I wrote down everything I felt, saw and experienced in the letters to you. Your first letter made my heart dance. My friends teased me saying we were old-fashioned lovers. It was rare and perfect. The way it felt. Maybe too perfect. As I feared.

I kept reading the letter until each one of the punctuation was vivid in my memory. Like it was the only thing to keep me going, my reason to live.

But I didn’t know that it was your last one as well. I waited religiously, every month, for replies that never arrived. All that I got were excuses. People around me had started speculating. Friends, family. They were sure you had lost interest. Why wouldn’t you? The world was such a large place full of options.

I had to face it; you had drifted away, and eventually, the calls decreased in the name of work. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I didn’t want to confront you from miles away. So, I waited.

I didn’t know that one phone call could change my life forever. Make me question myself. My senses and feelings. My doubts and expectations. I met you after two years. Yes, you had changed. You appeared more calm and composed. Perhaps nervous about what you were about to say. Your face scared me. I felt like my worst nightmare was coming true.

It’s been almost a year since that day. I have been busy in life. The way it shaped and turned out to be. You have been busy in yours in a different country. You had travelled across half the world for your work perhaps. I was busy making a home for myself, the way I wanted.

This is my last letter to you. Because I moved on. I moved on from being in a long-distance relationship, endless waits, and being the girlfriend you never ever spoke to about your feelings. I moved on from being the girl who waited while you travelled the world. I am done waiting for you.

Today onward, we start a new journey. And looking back, I am glad we met. I am glad you came into my life. As my lesson, experience, and love. I am glad you called that day. And I had left all the uncertainties to see you.

Because…

From this day we start afresh. We travel. Together. Stay Together. Dream together. We build a home together. I am glad you gave me everything and more.

Yours, always.

Mrs. Ajabdeh Pratap Singh.

Purnota: Chapter Eleven

Bondita opened her window to find Thamma and Jyatha Moshai missing from the lawn. The chairs were empty. Was she sleeping till late? She checked the clock and shook her head. Taking the towel, she hurried towards the bathroom, countering Kalindi on the way. She was reading the newspaper with her rimless reading glasses on. “Umm… why are you here? Where is Jyatha Moshai?” Kalindi raised her eyes briefly and sighed without putting the paper away. Her lack of response puzzled Bondita as she made her way to take a bath. When she came out in a pair of jeans and a shirt, rolling her sleeves up, Kalindi observed her keenly. “Will you be going somewhere?” She enquired. Bondita nodded. “Ah, yes, the District Office, some of my paperwork for the Bar Membership needs to be signed by a Gazetted Officer. Jyatha Moshai knows someone…” “Don’t go by their house… he is in a bad mood.” Kalindi placed some Chirer Polao in front of her and spoke as Bondita rubbed her wet hair with a frown. “Why?” “Oh...

Purnota: Chapter Thirteen

Aniruddha eyed Trilochon, sitting at the desk in his room, attending to some paperwork. His reading glasses were on his nose, and he appeared engrossed in a financial document. He stood at the threshold, a bit unsure and glanced over his shoulder at Somnath, Batuk and Bondita. She gestured at him to go on. Aniruddha cleared his throat. That prompted Trilochon to look away from his document at his nephew. “Jethu, if you are busy, I can come back…” He suggested unsurely. “Come in and close the door.” Trilochon glanced over Aniruddha’s shoulder at the others who walked away hurriedly. Aniruddha closed the door, and Bondita tiptoed to place her ears on it. Batuk and Somnath stood at a distance. “So you met her?” Trilochon spoke while cleaning his glasses. Aniruddha nodded. Somnath had introduced them to Ashalata. Bondita, Batuk, and he had met them in a Dhaba off the highway. Although Bondita did most of the talking, initiating a friendly gesture to put the nervous Ashalata at ease, he had...

Purnota: Chapter Twelve

Bondita woke up to the alarm clock ringing as she struggled to get her hand out of the quilt wrapped around her. She sat inside the mosquito net, rubbing her eyes and staring at the clock, trying to remember why she had set the alarm at 3.45 AM. Then her eyes shone in delight. It was Mahalaya. She remembered that during her days in Dehra, she had educated her roommate on the tradition of starting pujo with the voice of Birendra Krishna Bhadra echoing through the air. She was uninterested, and Bondita had borrowed her headphones to hear the program and deeply missed home. She remembered that as a child, while her father was still alive, he would gently wake her up, and take her on his lap to the huge Banyan tree near the Panchayat where people gathered near the Pradhan’s radio, putting flower garlands and lamps around it and folding their hands as they heard Mahishashur Mardini killing the Asura. When she arrived in Kolkata to get her law degree, she thought things would be different. B...

You Deserve More

Ajabdeh woke up with the song of birds as she felt something warm on her hand. Her eyes went wide. Her hand was on the pillow in between them, between his hands, clasped as he slept. She thought of removing it slowly, but he was holding on to it so tightly. Ajabdeh's heart beat faster and faster. What do I do now? How do I not wake him? What if... why is my hand in his? She was utterly confused. " Am I...In love?" Pratap was staring at the sleeping figure on the bed as he stared back at the rain. Then he frowned as he noticed that she shivered. He closed the windows of the room to make it cosy, then sat on his side of the bed. A lamp flickered on her side like always, and he stared at her sleeping figure as he put his blanket over her as well. She shifted a little in her sleep to make herself cosy again. Her payals and bangles made a rhythmic sound, breaking the silence of the room. Her hand was out of her blanket and on the pillow in between. He tried to slowly put it ...

Purnota: Chapter Ten

The rain clouds gave way to the scorching sun the following day as Bondita woke up as the first rays of the sun hit her face and disturbed her sleep. She cursed herself for keeping the window open and sat inside the mosquito net with a sleepy yawn. She eyed the alarm clock on her desk that said 6.30. Bondita scratched her head and pulled the mosquito net up to search for her slippers. She heard the bell ringing from Thamma’s room and the chanting of mantras. A smile came involuntarily to her lips as she realised that she might have come after ages, but everything in Chandannagar seemed to have been at a standstill. She grabbed the Kurti from the chair to change from the top she was wearing and wondered what she could do for the day. For the first time in a long time, she was free from the routine of boarding houses. Her eyes fell on the mess around her room since she had not unpacked the day before. Bondita decided to spend the morning unpacking her belongings. She opened the door of h...

Dreams and Wishes

At dawn, the Bhil women took the girls to the Kalika Mata Temple and the Jal Kund. Dressed in white, a nervous Heer followed everything Ajabde knew and did, trying to explain the significance of the rituals to her. They prayed to Lord Ganesh. Kunwar Shakti and Kunwar Pratap were staying at Punja Ji's place, as they were not supposed to see the brides before the wedding. Ajabde was dressed in her mother's lehenga, a mang tika Jaivanta Bai gave her as a family heirloom and the simple nosering Pratap had gifted. They made their hair into a simple bun with wildflowers before putting on their dupatta. Heer was dressed in traditional Bhil jewellery of silver and beads that the women had gifted her. They made her wear a red and white saree draped as a lehenga and a red chunri with it. She looked like a pretty, colourful Bhil bride. Kunwar Shakti was a nervous groom dressed in a traditional bhil dhoti, kurta and cap. The bhil shawl hung from a side, making the white attire colourf...

Purnota: Chapter Sixteen

It had been a month since Bondita had started working in the firm. With Somnath’s wedding date being set for winter, many things were keeping Trilochon and Kalindi busy as they took charge of the smooth running of things leading up to the wedding. They needed to shop for everyone, buy gifts and choose jewellery and sarees for the bride. Despite his attempts, Trilochon found Binoy reluctant to participate in his son’s wedding arrangements. Somnath took him and Kalindi to places they wanted to go, especially Kolkata for shopping, and Trilochon made arrangements to make sure that the first wedding of the generation was grand enough. Bondita tried to help as much as she could as she noticed Aniruddha being oddly aloof from the entire thing. She assumed it was due to Trilochon’s reactions to his lack of interest in marriage. Trilochon kept pestering her to enquire into his reasons while she kept stalling him with excuses. Bondita also failed to know more about Kalindi and Trilochon’s past, ...

Towards You

The Afghans, after Sher Shah Suri's untimely demise, were at loggerheads for power. Their troops near Mewar were now led by Mehmood Shah. They secretly captured territories in the forests and waited to attack Mewari camps when the time was right. Rawat Chundawat and his spies had confirmed the news, and Udai Singh sent a warning to Mehmood Shah to withdraw his troops from Mewar in vain. Now that it was out in the open, it was time they declared war. Mehmood Shah had limited resources in Mewar. His internal rebellion against his commander did not help his cause. His spies clearly suggested that in no way could he win, especially with Kunwar Pratap leading his troops. He was having second thoughts about the war. It was then that one of his aides suggested a perfect plan. Maharani Jaivanta Bai had decided to go to the Mahakaleshwar Temple near the outskirts of Chittorgarh, in the forestlands of Bhilwara. They had travelled a long way and across the Gambhiri river that meandered during...

Confrontation

Maine kahan tha saath rahunga Banunga main tera saaya Par tere saath kuch kadam bhi Main nahi chal paya Bondita got out of bed and left the room before Aniruddha woke up. She went about her chores and decided to ignore his presence until she found herself a logical explanation for her impulsive behaviour, good enough for him to forgive her mistake. She made breakfast and told the cook to note down who preferred what for when she would leave. She waited in the kitchen long enough for the breakfast to be served by the house help and eaten. His routine was fixed. He would go to the study room and leave for work in half an hour. Then, she wouldn’t have to put up with this hide-and-seek till late afternoon or evening. But things rarely go as planned in life. “Bondita? Bouma!” Trilochan’s call made her shake her head. She pulled the ghomta above her head and walked out to the dining area. Eyes met briefly as she looked away and spoke to Trilochan as if dismissing his presence altogether....

Purnota: Chapter Fifteen

A week was all it took for Bondita to get used to work and the new routine. She would wake up early and hurry through her chores, helping Kalindi prepare a tiffin of either Chirer Polao or bread jam and then proceeding to the Roy Chowdhury house. She would arrange the day’s paperwork before Aniruddha arrived at the study room. Occasionally, she would hear him call out to Koeli for breakfast and pack her things, knowing he was almost ready to leave. He would walk into the chamber, check his list, and they would go to work. She would follow him from courtroom to courtroom. She would be sitting in the audience and learning. She would follow him to conferences and client meetings and take notes. They would discuss complicated cases. She would share the tiffin she brought from home. He would at first take a reluctant bite, then eat more than her. She often gave him her share of food discreetly. They usually stayed back after everyone was gone and ordered food for dinner. Some days, he woul...

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