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The Letter



Dear… Guy to whom I am writing my last letter,

It’s been a long time since I wrote to you. I was busy. But I am sure; you have no complaints since you don’t reply back to any of my letters anyway. No, I am not disappointed. I am stopping here. There will be no more letters. Not to you or anyone, anymore.

The day you left, I feared you leaving me more emotionally than physically. You made me believe that was impossible. I trusted you. I am glad I did. At least now I don’t regret anything. I will never need to look back and think “What if I gave myself that chance?”

I am glad we shared a wonderful journey. From being complete strangers to a beautiful bond of friendship and understanding that ultimately bloomed into the feeling I feared the most… Love.

I still remember the day you left. It was pouring heavily. The sky did what I couldn’t as I smiled strongly holding back my tears. You were chasing your dreams; I couldn’t be your weakness.  You had promised me nothing will change. Well, you didn’t. Your hug did. I heard what you never said. Assumed you were not good with words.

The first few months were the toughest. I was getting used to life without you. I wrote down everything I felt, saw and experienced in the letters to you. Your first letter made my heart dance. My friends teased me saying we were old-fashioned lovers. It was rare and perfect. The way it felt. Maybe too perfect. As I feared.

I kept reading the letter until each one of the punctuation was vivid in my memory. Like it was the only thing to keep me going, my reason to live.

But I didn’t know that it was your last one as well. I waited religiously, every month, for replies that never arrived. All that I got were excuses. People around me had started speculating. Friends, family. They were sure you had lost interest. Why wouldn’t you? The world was such a large place full of options.

I had to face it; you had drifted away, and eventually, the calls decreased in the name of work. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I didn’t want to confront you from miles away. So, I waited.

I didn’t know that one phone call could change my life forever. Make me question myself. My senses and feelings. My doubts and expectations. I met you after two years. Yes, you had changed. You appeared more calm and composed. Perhaps nervous about what you were about to say. Your face scared me. I felt like my worst nightmare was coming true.

It’s been almost a year since that day. I have been busy in life. The way it shaped and turned out to be. You have been busy in yours in a different country. You had travelled across half the world for your work perhaps. I was busy making a home for myself, the way I wanted.

This is my last letter to you. Because I moved on. I moved on from being in a long-distance relationship, endless waits, and being the girlfriend you never ever spoke to about your feelings. I moved on from being the girl who waited while you travelled the world. I am done waiting for you.

Today onward, we start a new journey. And looking back, I am glad we met. I am glad you came into my life. As my lesson, experience, and love. I am glad you called that day. And I had left all the uncertainties to see you.

Because…
From this day we start afresh. We travel. Together. Stay Together. Dream together. We build a home together. I am glad you gave me everything and more.

Yours, always.

Mrs. Ajabdeh Pratap Singh.


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