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The tourist bus from Udaipur had stopped at the ticket counter of Kumbhalgarh fort when the conductor instructed the passengers, “The bus will be here till 5 PM. Get back within that time, or we will leave without you.” Roshni straightened her backpack and arched her arms a little. She had been sitting in the same position for too long. Removing her earphones, letting them dangle near her neck, she looked around and approached the ticket counter.
“One.” She said to the man behind the caged counter.
“Light and sound?” The man asked, and she shook her head.
The ticket was printed and handed to her along with the change as she tucked it in the pocket of her jeans, straightened her Kurti and walked inside the fort through the gates. The sight of the palaces and temples around her was breathtaking. A few groups of monkeys were running about near the Hanuman Temple at the entrance, and she stood there looking around. Pratap had instructed her to meet him there. Phone signals weren’t strong inside the fort, and the weekend crowd was already there. She looked around, a little confused when she saw a man approaching her.
“Roshni Chauhan?” The man asked as she nodded unsurely. “Punwar sir told me to take you.”
“Where?” Roshni frowned as the man walked ahead in silence. She followed him up the first round to where the first Pol gate was visible. She spotted Pratap there, in a white shirt and formal trousers like he wore, with his ID card around his neck, explaining something to a man. He spotted her and nodded, acknowledging her presence as she waited for him to finish with the man.
“Miss Chauhan,” he shook her hand as she smiled faintly. “I am glad you could make it within such a short time.”
“Well, this is the weekend and I have nothing much to do.” Roshni shook her head. “And I told you it's Roshni.”
“My bad.” He smiled faintly. “So shall we?” Roshni nodded and followed him up to the Chand Pol. Instead of going to the right with the crowd, they turned left to a fairly less crowded and open area from where the Aravallis were visible.
“So how did you get here?” He asked as she shrugged, “There are a lot of tourist buses from Udaipur, I will have to get down there by 5 PM.” She checked her watch. It was around two.
Pratap walked further ahead as she followed him in between the conversation, and they reached a flight of stairs. The board beside it read “Maharana Pratap’s birthplace.” Roshni looked up from the board at him.
“The dreams you said you have… are they similar to mine?” She asked as he shook his head.
“I guess not, but I also feel I am not who I am there.” Pratap smiled faintly.
“Do you know who you are there?” Her question was met with silence as he took out a key and unlocked the chained gate of the chambers. He pushed the door open, and the smell of fresh paint hit Roshni’s nostrils.
“Restoration work.” He murmured as he stepped inside, followed by her and up a couple of stairs to another open door, “That is the chamber.” Roshni stepped inside as he waited at the door, his hand in his pocket, observing her looking at the wall, the windowless jharokha designs inside the room and even the knobs on the door.
“Anything familiar?” She shook her head and looked up at him, “What about you?” He turned to let her get out of the way and began to lock the door again. A couple of visitors came up the stairs as Pratap stopped them with a hand gesture, saying, “This area is restricted”, and walked ahead to where the crowd was. Roshni followed in silence, and he walked into the ruins of the Kumbha Palace Complex. The moment they entered the complex, it was cooler, perhaps because the rays of the sun didn’t hit the damp stone walls of the palace anymore. They walked up to a jharokha and peeked out at the mighty walls of the fort.
“I find this place eerily familiar,” he spoke at last as Roshni peeked to spot the stables and grounds below. She eyed him as he sighed and asked, “Do you see other people in your dreams?”
“Not clearly.” He shrugged, “You?” She shook her head. “I hear their voices,” Pratap observed her taking out a notepad and a pen and jotting things down.
“What are you writing?” he asked. Roshni showed him the notebook.
“This is my therapy journal. Everything related to it I write down. My therapist told me to note down anything you and I find similar.” Pratap stopped her with a hand gesture between her hand holding the pen and the other one with the writing pad.
“Not clearly.” He shrugged, “You?” She shook her head. “I hear their voices,” Pratap observed her taking out a notepad and a pen and jotting things down.
“What are you writing?” he asked. Roshni showed him the notebook.
“This is my therapy journal. Everything related to it I write down. My therapist told me to note down anything you and I find similar.” Pratap stopped her with a hand gesture between her hand holding the pen and the other one with the writing pad.
“Your therapist knows about me?” He raised his eyebrows. Roshni nodded. “Yes, of course, I told her you too have similar kinds of dreams… she always told me I am not alone.” She shrugged. “I think you should see her once. Her treatment made my anxiety a lot better. She is sure that if I continue these bad dreams will also go away…” She stopped, watching him observe her keenly. Roshni felt a little awkward as she cleared her throat, and Pratap looked away, frowning a little.
“You think therapy will make these dreams go away?” His voice had a hint of doubt. Roshni nodded. “I know people have prejudices over…”
“It's not that. I am sorry, but I think it's not how these things work…” He suddenly seemed rude, and Roshni looked confused.
“What is wrong? Did I say something I shouldn’t have?” She asked, a little startled. Pratap sighed.
“No, it is just that… all my life I haven’t told a single soul about these dreams because they would say it is not normal and I need help. Didn’t expect you to think the same…” He blurted. “Let’s go, find a tea stall and have something… then you can leave.” he walked away as Roshni followed quickly.
“No, it is not that. Even I feel the same way, trust me. I go to the therapist because my friend insisted.” She confessed. “ I don’t believe anything is wrong with me.” Her words stopped him in his tracks as he half turned to ask, “Then why do you think you need to stop dreaming?” Roshni parted her lips, but a part of her was unsure of sharing her nightmares with Pratap. Instead, she followed it with a question.
“If you think these dreams are normal, why does it not happen to everyone, only us?” Pratap didn’t answer as they reached the tea stall, and he ordered two cups. They sat down on the wobbly bench as the man got to make the tea in a saucepan. He took out his packet of cigarettes, offering Roshni, who refused.
“I hope you don’t mind if I…” She shook her head at his words as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
“I believe everything in life has a purpose. Maybe we were chosen for these dreams. But that doesn’t mean something is wrong with us.”
“Therapy is not only for those who have something wrong happening to them.” Roshni retorted. “I am sorry, I can’t find an explanation for such eerie dreams, so I…”
“Sometimes it is okay not to find explanations,” Pratap explained in between the puffs. “Sometimes things happen without rhyme and reason.”
“Yet we are here, two strangers, looking for answers.” Roshni shook her head. “My final project submission is on the line, I have an examination in six months, what am I even doing with my life?”
“Why did you take up history?” Pratap’s voice was calm. Roshni inhaled and composed herself.
“Well, most of my childhood was spent reading stories of kings and queens, and I wanted to know their truths…” She smiled. “I realise now those are nothing like fairy tales, good and evil, kings and villains, princes and white horses…” She stopped, a little alarmed, noticing Pratap staring at her, a little amused.
“Are you judging me?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. He shook his head.
“Not at all, you just didn’t look like someone who would… believe in stories…” He smiled, “So you want to do some specialisation?” She nodded. “Yes, in scriptures.”
“Oh, then do keep in touch, we can do with some like you. Our company isn’t very big or like the ASI, but we work for them on sites, and we do provide paid internships.” He smiled. Roshni nodded.
“It will be great to have an internship and pay for my own master's.” She smiled. “I will send you my resume when my exams are over.”
“Please do, and…” Pratap took out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket and gave it to her, “Before I forget, here is my address. I talked to Maasa. You can come by next month’s first weekend. Do confirm before you come.”
“Thank you so much for this. It will help my project. Will you be there?” Roshni asked, eyeing the address. Pratap nodded. “Great, I will call before I drop by.”
“I am sorry today’s trip wasn’t very fruitful.” Pratap smiled faintly as they finished the tea.
“Don’t worry about it. I should get used to disappointments in historical places if I want to go ahead in my field.” Roshni chuckled slightly as he agreed. “Well, yes, you are right.”
“I should start going down to the parking area.” She checked her watch. Pratap shook his head. “You have plenty of time, don’t miss Kumbhalgarh’s speciality.”
“And what is that?” Roshni asked, narrowing her eyebrows slightly.
“It's not that. I am sorry, but I think it's not how these things work…” He suddenly seemed rude, and Roshni looked confused.
“What is wrong? Did I say something I shouldn’t have?” She asked, a little startled. Pratap sighed.
“No, it is just that… all my life I haven’t told a single soul about these dreams because they would say it is not normal and I need help. Didn’t expect you to think the same…” He blurted. “Let’s go, find a tea stall and have something… then you can leave.” he walked away as Roshni followed quickly.
“No, it is not that. Even I feel the same way, trust me. I go to the therapist because my friend insisted.” She confessed. “ I don’t believe anything is wrong with me.” Her words stopped him in his tracks as he half turned to ask, “Then why do you think you need to stop dreaming?” Roshni parted her lips, but a part of her was unsure of sharing her nightmares with Pratap. Instead, she followed it with a question.
“If you think these dreams are normal, why does it not happen to everyone, only us?” Pratap didn’t answer as they reached the tea stall, and he ordered two cups. They sat down on the wobbly bench as the man got to make the tea in a saucepan. He took out his packet of cigarettes, offering Roshni, who refused.
“I hope you don’t mind if I…” She shook her head at his words as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
“I believe everything in life has a purpose. Maybe we were chosen for these dreams. But that doesn’t mean something is wrong with us.”
“Therapy is not only for those who have something wrong happening to them.” Roshni retorted. “I am sorry, I can’t find an explanation for such eerie dreams, so I…”
“Sometimes it is okay not to find explanations,” Pratap explained in between the puffs. “Sometimes things happen without rhyme and reason.”
“Yet we are here, two strangers, looking for answers.” Roshni shook her head. “My final project submission is on the line, I have an examination in six months, what am I even doing with my life?”
“Why did you take up history?” Pratap’s voice was calm. Roshni inhaled and composed herself.
“Well, most of my childhood was spent reading stories of kings and queens, and I wanted to know their truths…” She smiled. “I realise now those are nothing like fairy tales, good and evil, kings and villains, princes and white horses…” She stopped, a little alarmed, noticing Pratap staring at her, a little amused.
“Are you judging me?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. He shook his head.
“Not at all, you just didn’t look like someone who would… believe in stories…” He smiled, “So you want to do some specialisation?” She nodded. “Yes, in scriptures.”
“Oh, then do keep in touch, we can do with some like you. Our company isn’t very big or like the ASI, but we work for them on sites, and we do provide paid internships.” He smiled. Roshni nodded.
“It will be great to have an internship and pay for my own master's.” She smiled. “I will send you my resume when my exams are over.”
“Please do, and…” Pratap took out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket and gave it to her, “Before I forget, here is my address. I talked to Maasa. You can come by next month’s first weekend. Do confirm before you come.”
“Thank you so much for this. It will help my project. Will you be there?” Roshni asked, eyeing the address. Pratap nodded. “Great, I will call before I drop by.”
“I am sorry today’s trip wasn’t very fruitful.” Pratap smiled faintly as they finished the tea.
“Don’t worry about it. I should get used to disappointments in historical places if I want to go ahead in my field.” Roshni chuckled slightly as he agreed. “Well, yes, you are right.”
“I should start going down to the parking area.” She checked her watch. Pratap shook his head. “You have plenty of time, don’t miss Kumbhalgarh’s speciality.”
“And what is that?” Roshni asked, narrowing her eyebrows slightly.
Pratap smiled and walked ahead as she followed him up to the wall. The western sky was a palette of red, the sun going down slowly in between the dark green Aravallis, which seemed to fade into a blue hue with the skyline. The breeze was pleasant. Roshni stood there mesmerised at the beauty and serenity of the place.
“I am sorry I interrupted your workday.” She said as Pratap smiled, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, supervising such restorations can be a boring one-man job. I was glad to show you around.” Roshni nodded as they watched the sun go down in silence for some time again.
“Doesn’t it seem like we have watched so many such beautiful sunsets all our lives, yet everyone is differently beautiful?” Roshni asked as Pratap nodded in silence with a sigh. If he could speak his mind, he knew in his soul that he wasn’t witnessing a sunset here the first time or the last. He glanced over at her, Roshni smiling unmindfully at the scene. It wasn’t the first time she was there either. Pratap suddenly felt disturbed by his chain of thoughts. He shook his head and tried to concentrate back on the scene when Roshni let out a gasp. She was staring at her watch, and her face said everything. They ran down the fort’s winding road to the gateways, Pratap a few steps behind her as she grunted at the parking lot, frustrated with herself.
“I missed the bus. How could I… I was so captivated by the sunset…” She shook her head. “How could they leave without me? How will I get back?” Pratap could sense the panic in her voice when he interrupted. “I will drop you. I told you to watch the sunset, so it is on me…” He reassured.
“No, I don’t want to…” She shook her head. Pratap insisted. “My company provides a car for on-site work, it is no trouble. Besides, I was meaning to get down to Udaipur to buy some supplies tonight.” He lied to make her feel less obliged. Roshni sighed. There was no other way to get back to her PG before late evening. She agreed. The drive down from Kumbhalgarh with Pratap driving and music on the radio was otherwise uneventful and quiet. Occasionally, Roshni stared out of the window and hummed along with a song, or Pratap would read a signboard and talk at length about the place and its history. They had reached a “T” road when he pointed at the board.
“That way is Haldighati.” She followed his hand gesture to the empty, dark road they had left behind.
“Have you been there too?” She asked as he shook his head.
“I have been meaning to, I have a project in Dholan next month.” He spoke with his eyes on the road.
“Well, if you find anything interesting…” Roshni’s words faded as he nodded.
“I will let you know…”
“Sometimes I feel we are chasing nothing… is it even worth it?” Roshni asked. Pratap smiled in silence. “Well… depends on what you call wasting your time. To me, these places, the stories and history and someone to share it with is a pretty good way of spending time.” Roshni felt awkward as he spoke.
“I didn’t mean that…” he chuckled a little at her awkward, low voice.
“I know that. I was just …” Pratap turned the roundabout into the city. “... not trying to think of answers I don’t know.”
“I am sorry I interrupted your workday.” She said as Pratap smiled, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, supervising such restorations can be a boring one-man job. I was glad to show you around.” Roshni nodded as they watched the sun go down in silence for some time again.
“Doesn’t it seem like we have watched so many such beautiful sunsets all our lives, yet everyone is differently beautiful?” Roshni asked as Pratap nodded in silence with a sigh. If he could speak his mind, he knew in his soul that he wasn’t witnessing a sunset here the first time or the last. He glanced over at her, Roshni smiling unmindfully at the scene. It wasn’t the first time she was there either. Pratap suddenly felt disturbed by his chain of thoughts. He shook his head and tried to concentrate back on the scene when Roshni let out a gasp. She was staring at her watch, and her face said everything. They ran down the fort’s winding road to the gateways, Pratap a few steps behind her as she grunted at the parking lot, frustrated with herself.
“I missed the bus. How could I… I was so captivated by the sunset…” She shook her head. “How could they leave without me? How will I get back?” Pratap could sense the panic in her voice when he interrupted. “I will drop you. I told you to watch the sunset, so it is on me…” He reassured.
“No, I don’t want to…” She shook her head. Pratap insisted. “My company provides a car for on-site work, it is no trouble. Besides, I was meaning to get down to Udaipur to buy some supplies tonight.” He lied to make her feel less obliged. Roshni sighed. There was no other way to get back to her PG before late evening. She agreed. The drive down from Kumbhalgarh with Pratap driving and music on the radio was otherwise uneventful and quiet. Occasionally, Roshni stared out of the window and hummed along with a song, or Pratap would read a signboard and talk at length about the place and its history. They had reached a “T” road when he pointed at the board.
“That way is Haldighati.” She followed his hand gesture to the empty, dark road they had left behind.
“Have you been there too?” She asked as he shook his head.
“I have been meaning to, I have a project in Dholan next month.” He spoke with his eyes on the road.
“Well, if you find anything interesting…” Roshni’s words faded as he nodded.
“I will let you know…”
“Sometimes I feel we are chasing nothing… is it even worth it?” Roshni asked. Pratap smiled in silence. “Well… depends on what you call wasting your time. To me, these places, the stories and history and someone to share it with is a pretty good way of spending time.” Roshni felt awkward as he spoke.
“I didn’t mean that…” he chuckled a little at her awkward, low voice.
“I know that. I was just …” Pratap turned the roundabout into the city. “... not trying to think of answers I don’t know.”
When Roshni told Pratap to stop the car a few feet away from her college gates, he frowned a little, as there were no residential buildings in sight nearby.
“I will walk from here. It's five minutes away…” She smiled a little awkwardly. “I can’t be seen in a car with someone like that… I have lied to my roommate about where I was today…” She confessed sheepishly.
“Why would you do that?” He asked, a little surprised.
“Well…” Roshni opened the door of the car as she spoke. “I didn’t want them to come along and … make things awkward… You know how girls are in colleges… I mean…” he nodded, interrupting her awkward attempt to spell out the fact that her friends might think they were dating.
“Well, the good thing is now I know where to find you…” Pratap smiled awkwardly as Roshni looked up at his words, a little surprised and fumbled, “Yes… of course…”
“I will walk from here. It's five minutes away…” She smiled a little awkwardly. “I can’t be seen in a car with someone like that… I have lied to my roommate about where I was today…” She confessed sheepishly.
“Why would you do that?” He asked, a little surprised.
“Well…” Roshni opened the door of the car as she spoke. “I didn’t want them to come along and … make things awkward… You know how girls are in colleges… I mean…” he nodded, interrupting her awkward attempt to spell out the fact that her friends might think they were dating.
“Well, the good thing is now I know where to find you…” Pratap smiled awkwardly as Roshni looked up at his words, a little surprised and fumbled, “Yes… of course…”
