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Bibha wasn’t found for a good many months. Neither did she try to contact us. Every day, a little hope died in me. But then, like a gust of wind, her news came. Lata came running into my room as I was about to lie down for an afternoon nap and whispered almost in a gasp, “Didi.” I sat up, looking first at her face and then at the letter in her hand. She eyed the corridor and walked up to me to hand the letter over.
“It arrived this afternoon. I came here as soon as I read it.” She said almost in a murmur. I read the contents briefly. It was once again addressed to her. Bibha had written that they were in a small rented apartment in Shibpur, near the Botanical Gardens, and she had mentioned the address for Bibha to write to her. She said she trusted Lata not to inform anyone about her. She emphasised that although money was tight and Kalikinkar was looking for a stable job, they taught children and they were happy. She even wanted to join College soon. I looked up at Lata’s face when I finished.
“Should we inform Dada?” She asked, unsurely. She was reluctant to express her opinion. I pestered her. Lata finally said what she felt. We should tell Thamma that she was alright; it might help improve her health, but we should keep her address between us. Dada wouldn’t spare them if he found out. He had strong connections in Calcutta, and Ananta didn’t need to know that we knew her address.
“Write to her.” I insisted on Lata. “That way, we'll at least know her whereabouts, and she might just share things with you.” She agreed. We both went to Thamma to talk about the letter. Her eyes lit up as she sat up on her bed, holding Lata’s hand in her wrinkled ones. She was relieved to find Bibha safe, and so was I. Lata started corresponding with Bibha every week and bringing me her replies. That went on for a good few months.
The basic instinct of human beings is curiosity. None of us is ever saved from it. As Lata started corresponding every odd week with Bibha, a secret only we shared, her Kakima grew concerned about the sudden number of letters in her name. A part of her heart still didn’t believe Lata was innocent in the letter incident, and Lata was careful enough to hide the letters from her sight before finally handing them over to me. Kakima was at her wits' end. She was scared that Bibha’s influence would make Lata do something equally dramatic, and worse, it would jeopardise her daughter's future.
I had brought home some college forms and scholarship schemes for Lata to look into while I was at Calcutta for work. She needed to start college without wasting a year. Dada and Boudi had no news of Bibha, and to my utter surprise, Boudi apologised for her harshness the last time. I only came to know why from their driver soon. Kankana had bagged a rich NRI, a thousand times better than me, in his master’s words. I couldn’t care less. But at least this meant Boudi would go to see Thamma, even if in courtesy, and that way Thamma could see Khoka in her sickness.
I went to the police headquarters at Lal Bazaar for an update on Bibha. A gentleman greeted me with much eagerness when I took Dada’s name and offered me some tea. He then said that he had no trace of Bibha. She hadn’t yet enrolled in any school or college. Neither did Kalikinkar seem to be employed. I frowned, a little worried. From what Bibha told Lata, he had found a job in a small primary school, and she was to join the university soon. Did she lie about her life? I wouldn’t be surprised. But then, how did they survive so long in a proper town? I was worried sick when I returned home and conveyed the news to Lata. Unlike me, she didn’t seem muchly troubled. She was sure the police were only negligently looking in Calcutta. I agreed reluctantly.
Ever since Thamma was bedridden, mainly due to the hurt Bibha caused her, and the pain of not knowing how she was, she kept repeating that she would die soon. It disturbed us at first, and we often protested and prayed for her good health. Then we realised it was perhaps her fear that she would miss out on things and might never see Bibha again. The old woman lived till her nineties. But the fear of missing out, which she developed in her seventies, made her more emotional and hasty in her decisions. I had walked in one day, for lunch, to find Kaku coming down the staircase from Thamma’s room.
“I came to visit Pishima.” He smiled sheepishly, folding his hands in greeting “And to inform her that Lata’s Kakima had been pestering me to find a groom for her. We still don’t know who she writes to,” he frowned, sounding worried as I looked a bit taken aback.
“What did Thamma say?” I asked, eyeing Kanai Da, who called Lata to Thamma’s room at her order as she rushed up the stairs, unaware of our conversation.
“She said Lata needs to study in college, and she will find a groom who would allow her that. I would be happy to leave the responsibility to Pishima. She practically raised Lata.” Kaku nodded. I smiled involuntarily, nodding in agreement as he took my leave. I was in my room when I heard Lata run down the corridor. Frowning a little, I parted my curtains and called out to her. She didn’t hear me as she ran back home. The girl was always in such a hurry! Kanai Da, behind me, informed me that Thamma had called upon me.
I walked into Thamma’s room as she sat up on her bed, leaning against the pillow. She looked a little better than she did before we knew Bibha’s whereabouts. She asked me to fetch her glasses from the bedside table. As I did as told, she directed me to her shelf of journals.
“Bring the one from 1962.” She said, I went up to the shelf with a slight frown and picked the diary up. As soon as I saw it, I remembered it. I glanced at Thamma going through the yellow pages and stopping at the folded letter.
“There it is.” She smiled faintly. “Call Lata’s Kakima for me when you leave, will you?” I frowned.
“Why am I here?” I asked as I sat down on the bed beside her. She eyed me from behind her glasses.
“I am getting old.” She sighed. “Now someone has to take over the house.” I pretended to be clueless about where she was headed.
“You are fine,” I spoke firmly as I sat down beside her on the bed. She smiled faintly.
“Lata’s Kaku came by. He wants her to be married.” She spoke as she brushed her hand over the folded letter.
“Oh.” I shrugged, unsurely. She looked up at me.
“Oh? That is your reaction?!” She frowned rather coldly, her pepper-salt eyebrows raised to her wrinkled forehead in an arch. What did she want me to say? I had no idea. I looked away, intimidated by her stare at me. She grabbed my ear, taking me by surprise.
“You think I got old just like that? These wrinkles and grey hair aren’t experienced?” She shook my head a little. I looked at her, genuinely confused.
“I know that you know.” I flushed at her words. “I watched you react to her letter. And all you come up with today is Oh? Prasanna Debi can get old, but she is no fool.” For the first time in my life, I saw this side of Thamma. She was teasing me. I got up abruptly and stuttered.
“I will …umm… go tell Kanai…” She smiled.
“Oh, and while you are at it, speak to the poor girl. She thinks I am pushing her into your life.” I stopped at Thamma’s words at the threshold, a little taken aback. Why would Lata think that?
Lata entered Prasanna Debi’s bedroom, followed by Kanai.
“Dorja ta bondho kore de.” Prasanna Debi sat up, instructing the servant who closed the door behind him and left. She patted the bed where Lata sat down quite reluctantly.
“Your Kaku came by.” Prasanna Debi made her look up. “He wants to get you married.” Lata’s face looked pale at her words. She gulped.
“I also told them I will look for a suitable groom for you myself.” Lata looked up at Prasanna Debi’s words. Suddenly, her eyes were teary.
“No Thamma.” She surprised Prasanna Debi with a hug. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to stay with you. Please don’t make me leave.” Prasanna Debi patted her head with a smile.
“Of course, you want that, and so do I.”
“Then why do you want to marry me off?” Lata frowned. “Why do you want to send me away?” She looked clearly displeased at the idea.
“I want to see you married before something happens to me.” Prasanna Debi smiled faintly. Lata let out a gasp and hugged her tighter. “Don’t say something like that, please, Thamma.” Her eyes were teary. “Nothing will happen to you. I won’t ever leave you.”
“Who said anything about leaving?” Prasanna Debi smiled as Lata looked up at her, confused. Prasanna Debi wiped away her tears as she spoke.
“Wh…what do you mean?” She stammered.
“Tell me, would you take care of my Debu for the rest of your life?” Lata got up, suddenly alarmed at Thamma’s words.
“I… what…” She looked confused.
“Your father wanted this, and so do I.” Prasanna Debi’s words made Lata’s heart thump.
“Baba?” She asked, as her throat went dry. “He told you?” Prasanna Debi nodded.
“But Thamma… “ She shook her head. “Why would you push me forcibly into his life?” Prasanna Debi frowned slightly at her words. “I mean, last time, with Kankana didi… he …” Lata looked scared. Prasanna Debi smiled wider, shaking her head.
“You silly girl, why don’t you ask him that yourself?” She said in a teasing tone, making Lata’s cheeks feel warm. “While I talk to your Kakima about it?” Lata stepped back as she looked away shyly. She opened the door and ran down the corridor back to her house.
She reached in time for the postman who was shuffling through his bunch, standing by their letterbox.
“Is there one in my name, Dada?” She asked, her voice still trembling a little in nervous tension as Kakima eyed her suspiciously before heading to the Bhattacharya house with Kanai. The postman nodded, handing her an envelope.
Lata didn’t wait to get inside the house as she opened it in a hurry. Her face grew grim.
She ran back to the house and looked around, first at the library, then the living area, and the Kajanchi Khana. He wasn't there. She could hear Kakima giggle and chat with Thamma upstairs. Kanai walked by, confused as she ran about.
“Are you looking for someone, Didimoni? Ananta Dadababu…”
“Where is Deb da?” Lata asked as Kanai frowned.
“I last saw him go up to the roof…” He didn’t finish recollecting as Lata dashed up the stairs to the roof.
I stood there, smoking a cigarette. I was aware that Kakima was downstairs, chatting with Thamma, and my heart raced at the thought of having a conversation with Lata about us. Where do I begin? Should I tell her that I knew what her father had wanted? Should I reassure her that she didn’t have to say yes just because her father and Thamma wanted it? Should I tell her about my feelings? My stomach felt funny as I gathered my thoughts. My feelings. I never talked about those. Could I accurately articulate everything I felt in all those years in a few moments? Of course not. I smiled in between puffing on the cigarette to calm my nerves. Perhaps that is why we had a lifetime. My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden sound of hurried footsteps approaching the roof. I froze when I realised it was Lata. A thousand thoughts ran through my head. I inhaled to calm my nerves as I turned, anticipating her at the threshold. She appeared there soon, with a letter in hand. Her face looked troubled as I put the cigarette off, under my slippers and rushed to her.
“Didi…” She managed, almost trembling, “She needs our help.”
