Protidaan: Chapter Eighteen

Nightmares are of two types. Ones that happen in real life, and ones that happen in dreams. The latter, although responsible for many sleepless nights as children, was far better. I remember most of the time, as electricity at Punnya was not as efficient as that in the cities, with only the new neighbourhood houses lit up by the overhead wires, evenings would see long power cuts. Ma would make us sit in a circle in the open courtyard and light a kerosene hurricane lamp in the middle. It was enough to make our faces visible in the flickering light and darkness that surrounded us. Lata would sit close by her, and Ananta on her lap as Dada waved the hand fan over us, while we indulged in ghost stories. Sometimes Bibha would hold on to me as Ma kept Lata and Ananta close to her, and narrated tales from her native village, stories about Bhoot, Petni and Pishach. I remember that after those stories if the lights didn’t come past my bedtime, I was wide awake, scared that sleeping might give me nightmares. But those nightmares were nothing compared to the ones we had in broad daylight.

“Deb Da?” Lata’s scared voice made me look up from my work as she stood at the threshold of the Kajanchi Khana, unsure, with what looked like a letter in her hand. Her voice trembled as she managed to say “Didi.” I got up from my chair with a frown and walked up to her, almost snatching the letter from her hand. It was a letter, written by Bibha, addressed to Lata.

“Where is she?” I asked before even starting to read it. Lata shrugged cluelessly.

“Yesterday she told me to come by in the morning to take some books. I walked into her room and she wasn’t there. The books were on the table. I assumed she was somewhere busy so I picked up the books and this fell from it.” Lata was quick to explain. I read the letter. It said Bibha felt trapped in the house. Women were still prisoners of society. Her confinement in a free India was bothering her. So she left, to be with the man she loved because nobody here understood what love truly meant. I crumbled the letter up in frustration.

“Stupid woman!” I said under my breath. I checked my watch.

“Stay here, not a word to anyone.” I was quick to hand the crumbled letter back to an almost teary-eyed Lata as I rushed out, without making my urgency known to Thamma and drove to the station. The station master knew us well, and he hadn’t seen Lata. Of course, she was smart enough not to board a train here if at all. I drove to the next station and the one after that.

One of the railway vendors recognized my description of her when I described that there was probably a man with her, with Kalikinkar’s description. They had boarded the train to Bardhaman. I drove back to the school. I needed this man’s address but had to be discreet about it. So I made an excuse that he owed Thamma some money. The address was given by the headmaster. I returned back home to find Lata waiting in the library room.

“I told Thamma that Didi had gone to the temple with Kakima. She ate her lunch and went to sleep.” Lata sighed. I handed her the address in silence as I sank back into my chair.

“I swear I didn’t know. Trust me.” I looked up at her pale teary-eyed face. I nodded. I reassured her that I knew. But what could we do now?

“Can’t you go and meet Didi?” Her suggestion was futile. By now, if I know how stubborn Bibha was, she had married the man. They were adults. What could we do?

“I have to inform Dada,” I said, picking up the receiver. “He left Bibha in my care. I let him down.”

“That’s not true.” Lata protested. “Didi was stubborn. You tried.” She shook her head. “This is all my fault. I believed whatever she told me about him and about them. I never questioned her. You kept repeating that I should…” I stopped her by putting my finger over her lip. She looked alarmed. Her guilty rant wasn’t helping me at all. “Lata, it is not your fault either. She is an adult. She chose this.” I started dialling the number.

“What if Borda hurts them?” Lata sounded scared. The receiver dropped from my hand. I knew what Dada was capable of when it came to family honour. I could hear Boudi’s voice on the other end shouting “Hello. Hello.” Lata picked up the receiver and placed it back on the dialer.

“I should inform Thamma.” I managed as she nodded. Thamma gasped, then lamented that she had failed in parenting us properly and my parents wouldn’t forgive her when they met in heaven. Then she told me to inform Dada. I had to now. Kakima came in soon after, holding Thamma’s hand reassuringly and lamenting how children nowadays are beyond their control. She eyed Lata while saying this and Thamma agreed.

Dada arrived by the next available train. Thamma didn’t get a wink of sleep, as Kakima sat beside her, holding her hand as her cheeks were wet with tears. Lata stood behind her couch, eyeing me as I paced the room impatiently. Ananta sat on the single chair a little restless. The car honked outside as Dada walked briskly and Kanai brought in his luggage. He eyed Lata and then turned to me.

“Did you know about this?” His tone was accusing. I frowned. “Who was she going around with?” He turned from me to Lata and Ananta. “She must have told someone something.” I looked up at his words. Before I could speak, Lata spoke.

“I did.” Kakima gasped at her words Thamma looked a little shocked too. She looked up, first at Dada then at me. “She told me.”

“And you never thought of ever letting us know?” Thamma rebuked turning to her as Lata looked away.

“What will I do with this girl?” Kakima tapped her forehead with her palm, almost wailing. “Did you tell Bibha to do this?” She looked suspicious. “First the letters now this!”

“What? Why will I tell Didi…” Lata protested.

“What letters?” Dada interrupted with a frown.

“What should I tell about the shame she has caused us, Rudra Babu?” Kakima lamented. “I found letters in her notebook, of the shameless kind.” Lata looked up, first at Kakima, then at me. “I told her Kaku she should get married off.”

“Look what happens when you pity orphans and bring them into your home, Thamma.” Thamma looked a little shocked at Dada’s statement as Ananta stood up. Lata fell back a step as Kakima hung her head in shame. “Ma made a mistake and Bibha is paying for it.”

“Dada how can you say that about…”Ananta spoke as a slap resonated across his cheek.

“How dare you speak to me in that tone, lad?” Dada looked agitated.

Kakima took Lata’s hand and was about to leave, dragging the reluctant crying girl behind her. She looked up at me as Kakima dragged her and she walked across the hallway right in front of me. I had to speak up.

“Lata was trying to save our family’s honour.” All pairs of eyes were on me while Kakima stopped at the threshold. “The letter was Bibha’s. Not hers. She didn’t know.”

“And you knew it?” Dada approached me as I stood fixed to my spot.

“And what did you do to prevent this?” He asked, almost breathing at my face.

“I talked to her.” My jaws tightened.

Thamma shook her head and rebuked “You should have told me.”

“You talked to her?” Dada looked disappointed “You talked to her and you let it be?” He banged his fist on the marble side table. “Are you out of your mind Debu?”

I kept quiet. Ananta looked up at me and back at Lata.

“Let’s go home,” Kakima spoke, pulling Lata’s ear. “You have done enough already.”

“Wait.” Thamma stood up as Dada stepped back. “Lata is not going anywhere.” She eyed Dada who looked displeased. “She is family.” Thamma walked up to them at the threshold. “I am not losing one daughter over another.” Lata hugged Thamma and sobbed. In between, she murmured apologies. Thamma patted her hair as she cried. It wasn’t her fault. But then whose was it?

“I will get this girl married before she runs off.” Kakima snapped before walking away from the scene.

“I am going to Bardhaman, come with me,” Dada spoke as I nodded silently. He walked away to his room.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Ananta spoke in an accusing tone to his Didi. Lata looked up and sighed, wiping away her tears.

“You are too young.” She insisted. Ananta wasn’t convinced. He looked disappointed and walked away to his room. Thamma looked up at me hopefully.

“Go with him and see that he doesn’t do anything he will regret.” She ordered. I nodded silently.

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Protisruti

প্রতিশ্রুতি বন্দিতা মা কে জড়িয়ে ধরে যেন প্রাণ ফিরে পায়। “ভাল আছিস?” জিগেস করে সুমতি। বন্দিতা হঠাৎ খেয়াল করে আগের মতো তার মুখ দেখেই তার মা আর তার মনের অবস্থা বুঝতে পারেন না। তার সাথে হঠাৎ মনে পরে কত অনায়াসে অনিরুদ্ধ বোঝে যে তার মন খারাপ। একবার জিজ্ঞেস করেছিল সে স্বামীকে, কি করে তিনি বোঝেন তার মন খারাপ। ছোট বন্দিতাকে তার মতন করে বুঝিয়েছিলেন তার স্বামী। আজ বন্দিতা বড় হয়েছে কিন্তু সেই প্রশ্ন সে আর করতে পারেনা। বন্দিতাকে খাটিয়ার উপর বসিয়ে এর মধ্যেই সুমতি যায় তার জন্য মুড়ি মুড়কি আনতে। বন্দিতার চোখ পরে পায়ের নূপুরের উপর। তিনি বলেছিলেন “তুমি খুশি হলে তোমার নূপুরের আওয়াজ অন্যরকম হয়, আর তোমার মন খারাপ হলে অন্যরকম।” বন্দিতা নূপুরটা বাজিয়ে দেখেছিল সেদিন। আজকে সে জানে পার্থক্য তার নূপুরের শব্দে নয়, অনিরুদ্ধের পর্যবেক্ষণ শক্তিতে। আবার কেন তার কথা ভাবছে সে? বাড়ি এসেছে মায়ের কাছে। আর ভাববে না সে, হয়তো দু তিন দিন পর ত্রিলোচনবাবু পাঠাবেন বিহারী কে বন্দিতাকে বাড়ি নিয়ে যেতে, ততদিন মায়ের কাছে একটু শান্তিতে থাকুক না সে। দুপুরে আম দুধ দিয়ে ভাত দেয় তাকে সুমতি। “তোর প্রিয় খাবার দেখ, মাম...

Answers

Aniruddha could not work all day. It started raining heavily outside, the curtains of the room swayed in the gusty wind, and things around the room toppled over. Koeli came to pick them up, to see if he wanted to eat anything but Aniruddha wanted to be left alone. Countless questions and fears raced through his mind. Bondita never went home like she did that day. Rather, once a year, even before Jamai Sasti, she checked the household chores a hundred times. If Batuk had a test, if someone was sick, she was reluctant to go. She just packed a bundle so quickly and left for her mother’s place. Had she distanced herself from Aniruddha? Was it his fault? Anirudha started thinking. Could she not take him as a husband because he pushed her away and hurt her? Aniruddha repented for his actions. If indeed Bondita denied their relationship knowing the truth behind it, could she be blamed? But was that why she was pretending to be asleep even though she was awake that night? What did she think ab...

Promises

Bondita hugged her mother as if to find herself again. "Are you okay?" Sumati smiled. Bondita suddenly noticed that her mother couldn't understand her state of mind just by looking at her face anymore. With that, she suddenly remembered how easily Aniruddha understood that she was upset. Once she asked her husband how he understood things without her saying it. Her husband explained to little Bondita in a way she would understand. Now that Bondita was grown up she could perhaps never ask him that question again. Meanwhile, Sumati hurried to get her some Muri Murki while she sat down on the bed. Bondita's eyes fell on her feet. He had said, "When you are happy, your anklet sounds different, and when you are sad, it is different." Bondita stirred her anklets unmindfully. Today she knew the difference was not in the sound of her Nupur but in Aniruddha's powers of observation. Why was she thinking about him? She came home to her mother. And she would not th...

Choices

The winter rains and gusty wind were unpleasant weather for Adhiraja Ishaan Dev. The Suryapalian capital was far more tropical weather of the plain lands than that of Neelambargarh, situated on a plateau rather close to the Heemdevi. It rained more in Neelambargarh, and the winters were cold. The wine did very little to comfort him as he kept the lamps of his chamber lit in an attempt to feel warmer. On the contrary, he observed how Priyambada complained that the winter isn't cold enough. It had been a quarter of the moon cycle since Maharani Priyambada met Kumari Advika of Mait. Although Ishaan Dev was eager to know what the ladies did talk about, he wasn’t sure whether to ask Priyambada. So he waited for her to tell him something, anything! But Priyambada seemed to act like the meeting never happened. She didn’t even disclose anything to Smriti as per Kumar Viraj. Ishaan Dev was perplexed. What was talked of in the meeting? Worse, did Advika mention him? She must have. The last t...

Going Home

Bondita's Mama came to Tulsipur to meet his daughter. He was a poor man and wore a short dhoti and a Batik shirt. It was wrong to come empty-handed to the daughter's house, so two pots of sweets accompanied him. Reluctantly, he had to go to Roy Chowdhury's house. They were the Zamindar of Tulsipur, the master of the father-in-law of Sampoorna, they needed to be respected. Apart from that, the fate of the sister and niece who he was reluctant to shelter and spent day and night rebuking them about had turned, the same sister now handed over some money to him by the end of the month, because of the kindness of Aniruddha Babu. He did not have the luxury of pushing Lakshmi away. Hence it was necessary to come to the landlord's house to meet his niece. In their house servants also dressed better than him; Look at the fate of the girl . Where he had arranged for her to stay in a corner of an old man's house, now Bondita was living a queen’s life. Zamindar Trilochan Roy Ch...

Uttor

উত্তর সারাদিন কাজে মন বসেনা অনিরুদ্ধর। বাইরে অঝোরে বৃষ্টি হতে থাকে, ঝোড়োও হওয়ায় ঘরের পর্দা দোলে , জিনিসপত্র এলোমেলো হয়ে যায়। কয়েলি আসে ছোট মালিকের জিনিস গুছিয়ে দিতে, তিনি কিছু খাবেন কিনা শুধোতে কিন্তু তাকে চলে যেতে বলে ঘরে খিল দেয় অনিরুদ্ধ। একা থাকতে চায়। তার মনে আনাগোনা করে অসংখ প্রশ্ন এবং আশংকা। যে ভাবে বন্দিতা স্বেচ্ছায় মায়ের কাছে গেল আজ, সেরকম সে কোনদিন যায়না । বরং বছরে একবার জামাই ষষ্টিতে যাওয়ার আগেও একশো বার বাড়ির কাজকম্ম দেখে শুনে যায়। বটুকের পরীক্ষা, কারুর শরীর খারাপ হলে তো কথাই নেই। সেই বন্দিতা আজ হঠাৎ বাড়ি যাবে বলে কি তাড়াতাড়ি পোটলা গুছিয়েছে। এতই কি দূরে চলে গেছে সে অনিরুদ্ধের থেকে? তা কি তার নিজের দোষে? ভাবতে থাকে অনিরুদ্ধ। সে দূরে সরিয়ে দিয়েছে বলে অভিমান না কি তাকে স্বামী রূপে গ্রহণ করতে পারেনা বন্দিতা? অনিরুদ্ধ পশ্চাতাপ করে। সত্যি যদি বন্দিতা সব জেনে তাদের সম্পর্ক অস্বীকার করে, তাকে কি দোষ দেওয়া চলে? তবে কি তাই সেদিন রাত্রে জেগে থাকা সত্যেও ঘুমের অভিনয় করছিল সে? কি ভেবেছে সে অনিরুদ্ধের ব্যাপারে? কেন চারিদিক বাছবিচার না করে এমন করল অনিরুদ্ধ? নিজের প্রতিজ্ঞ...

Adornment

The rainy night had given way to a rather pleasant summer morning in Suryapali. The temperature was no longer soaring and a gentle breeze blew through the plains of Suryapali. The sun peeped out through the floating clouds occasionally. Priyambada walked into her chambers after a luncheon to find trays laid with drapes and jewellery, waiting for her. “The Maharani sent this for some celebration in the evening,” Vrinda spoke, bowing at her mistress who nodded silently. Priyambada eyed the trays and exhaled. She wasn’t sure if anyone talked to Ishaan Dev about the rituals. She dismissed Vrinda and decided to read the scripture. As Priyambada sat down on the edge of the bed, scripture in hand, her thoughts travelled to the happenings of the night and she inhaled as her throat felt dry. Why did he stop? Did he feel that he had offended her? Priyambada wondered. She walked up to the attire laid down for the evening and picked up the drape wrapped into a bodice and wrap-around skirt. They w...

Ghore Fera

ঘরে ফেরা বন্দিতার মামা মেয়ের সাথে দেখা করতে আসেন তুলশিপুর। গরিবের ঘরের ছা পোষা চেহারা তার, পরনে খাটো ধুতি ও ছিটের জামা। মেয়ের শশুরবাড়িতে খালি হাতে আসা অন্যায় তাই দুটি মিষ্টির হাড়ি সাথে। অনিচ্ছা সত্তেও রায় চৌধুরী বাড়িতে যেতে হয় তাকে। তারা তুলশিপুরের জমিদার, সম্পূর্ণার শ্বশুরের মনিব, তাদের সম্মান করে চলা মঙ্গল। তা ছাড়া যে বোন ও বোনঝিকে আশ্রয় দেওয়া নিয়ে দিনরাত কথা শোনাতে বাঁধতো না তার, সেই বোন এখন মাস গেলে তার হাতে টাকা তুলে দেয়, অনিরুদ্ধ বাবুর দয়ায়। হাতে আসা লক্ষ্মী পায়ে ঠেলার বিলাসিতা করার মত মুরোদ নয় তার। অগত্যা বোনঝির সাথে দেখা করতে জমিদার বাড়ি আসা। এদের বাড়ির চাকররাও তার থেকে ভাল পোশাক পরে; ভাগ্য দেখো মেয়েটার। কোথায় কোন বুড়োর বাড়ির এক কোণে পরে থাকার ব্যবস্থা করেছিল সে, এখন বন্দিতা রাজরানী। জমিদার ত্রিলোচন রায় চৌধুরীর যাকে পছন্দ নয় তাকে তিনি সেটা বুঝিয়ে দিতে দ্বিধা বোধ করেন না। বন্দিতার মামা তার তেমন এক অপছন্দের পাত্র । বৌমার মুখে তিনি যা শুনেছেন তারপর বৌমার তাদের প্রতি টান দেখে আশ্চর্য হন ত্রিলোচন বাবু। কিন্তু কুটুম্ব তারা। হাতে কর...

Trust

Ishaan Dev woke up at the sound of the hourly bells and trumpets and found himself alone in bed. It took him some time to realise that he had perhaps overslept as he looked confused, half asleep first at the hourglass and then at the sun rays coming into the chambers through the swaying curtains. He sat up to suddenly remember the happenings of the night, as his eyes travelled to the blood stain on the sheet and he sat in contemplation for a good few minutes. He finally had his moment with Priyambada and it was nothing like he had imagined it to be. A part of him that yearned to touch her and taste her was satisfied enough to realise that his longing for her was not only physical. When bodies entwined in the union, and he had pushed himself in, as he had with a hundred other women before her, something in him felt a different sense of completeness and fulfilment that he realised was missing from his life. He had seen Priyambada react to the sensations that were completely new to her, m...

Gratefulness

Aniruddha did not return home that night, he informed on the telephone that he was stuck in urgent work so he would return home the next day after spending the night at the client's house. Bondita spent a sleepless night. What would she tell Barrister Babu? And why would he believe it? She was lost in her thoughts twisting and turning in bed all night. She was hurt. Was her husband so reluctant towards their relationship that he did not wish to return home because of her? Once he was busy with some work and was pacing in the study room. Bondita was a child. Her Jetha Shoshur Moshai had taught her to serve her husband. She used to see Bihari take a cup of tea to the study room every day. Despite Bihari's resistance, she picked up the cup of tea that day. "Don't do this, Ginnima ," Bihari was terrified. “Barrister Babu does not like to talk or be disturbed during his work. If he gets angry, I will lose my job.” Bondita ignored his words and entered the study room w...

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