Hijr: Letter One

In these thoughts to my soul,

I know not what to write, yet I shall, for these ears are drawn towards your home.
It is the most foreign of lands that we call our home, where I and everyone who left the citadel have settled. A million graces of the heavens that before innumerable gnashes sheared away our desire to walk further, we found this sweet-smelling land by the Sarasvati, a river so full of life and plentiful. Although an envelope of sadness always wraps around our cotton, the conviction keeps the lamp burning.

By the grace of Lord Pashupatinath, I wish good health and happiness for you. Wish that is all I can muster for now, as I am well aware of how torn your heart must be, shattered into uncountable pieces of glass. Such is your grief, I know, your liveliness parched as a desert. We came with nothing, broke apart with nothing and slept with nothing; a bouquet of memories is all we have to share with our graves.

The sunset is strange, just like the day I had left and you stood by the Bath; your doe eyes, resplendent with the hues of setting dusk. Not a word escaped your lips, but I heard your sob and you mine. That sunset continues to haunt me despite all these years. The gravel and silt from the hills have settled under the river, but my anguish has built a fort around my heart. Under the moonlight, when all fires have been extinguished and all speeches have been hushed, I sit in silence, watching the path towards you.

Oh! If only I could scribble in the wind. There aren't enough stones to inscribe my words for you. So, I shall keep it short.

The mornings begin differently than at the citadel. We have cows that I graze in the riverine pastures. The foreigners haven't yet discovered the beauty of this land, and we dare not dwell too far. We never knew the feeling of being imprisoned in freedom. Maybe we have to move again, or our grave will be dug on these very lands in the years to come. But, for now, our stocks are plentiful, the baths are brimming, the kiln is busy baking the bricks, and the priests mellow the fears of our kin.

In the past tide, waves of joy spread over our settlement as our boats returned with wealth and piles of riches from the sea lands. We rose from destitution, but know not how long we can sustain; the houses are lit with dances by the Bath, and we celebrate as we did at the citadel. We again found our appetite for jewellery, and the old potter's son now carves mesmerising pieces as lavish gifts.

All the world's wealth is in our thriving new settlement, yet there is a void. We are adorned in dazzling metal jewellery and cotton attire, but the poverty of our happiness wreaks havoc in our sleep. I hear the younger ones cry out with nightmares, and men spend the night watching the roads while elders patiently wait to be carried to the mound. We have everything, yet nothing.

And I? As the endless streams meet the sea, our streams will confluence in the sea of eternity. That shall be our home, where our souls shall light the night, and days will be spent in the cold embraces of our decaying selves.

I shall end here, for I fear a word more will burden you. I shall scatter the stone tablets on the way I took to leave you behind. I am glad that our trade led us to the Egyptian friends whose writing on tablets fascinated me. In the tenebrosity of this detachment, may my words illuminate your way to mine!

The ever-destitute in your memory,

𑀳𑀺𑀦𑁆𑀤𑀯𑀺

The Pashupatinath seal reveals a form of Shiva with a headgear surrounded by animals, indicating an overlord or God of the civilisation. As Indus Valley scriptures are yet to be deciphered, it is very difficult to understand the culture solely based on archaeological findings and assumptions.

My Everything

Kunwar Pratap stormed into the Mahal at Gogunda amidst uncertainty and chaos. Happy faces of the chieftains and soldiers welcomed him as Rawat Chundawat, and some other chieftains stopped the ongoing Raj Tilak. A visibly scared Kunwar Jagmal looked clueless at a visibly angry Kunwar Pratap. Rani Dheerbai Bhatiyani hadn't expected Kunwar Pratap to show up, that too, despite her conveying to him his father's last wish of crowning Kunwar Jagmal. Twenty-one days after Udai Singh's death, she was finally close to a dream she had dared to dream since Jagmal was born. He was not informed about the Raj Tilak as per Dheerbai's instructions. She eyed Rawat Ji. He must have assembled the chiefs to this revolt against her son, against the dead king. No one except them knew where Kunwar Pratap was staying. It was for the safety of his family. " What are you doing, Chotima?" A disappointed voice was directed at her. She could stoop down so low? For the first time, an anger...

Towards You

The Afghans, after Sher Shah Suri's untimely demise, were at loggerheads for power. Their troops near Mewar were now led by Mehmood Shah. They secretly captured territories in the forests and waited to attack Mewari camps when the time was right. Rawat Chundawat and his spies had confirmed the news, and Udai Singh sent a warning to Mehmood Shah to withdraw his troops from Mewar in vain. Now that it was out in the open, it was time they declared war. Mehmood Shah had limited resources in Mewar. His internal rebellion against his commander did not help his cause. His spies clearly suggested that in no way could he win, especially with Kunwar Pratap leading his troops. He was having second thoughts about the war. It was then that one of his aides suggested a perfect plan. Maharani Jaivanta Bai had decided to go to the Mahakaleshwar Temple near the outskirts of Chittorgarh, in the forestlands of Bhilwara. They had travelled a long way and across the Gambhiri river that meandered during...

Purnota: Chapter Thirty Eight

Trilochon was so overwhelmed that Binoy came for the Pujo and Kirtan on Dol Purnima. Their neighbours, friends and acquaintances had all gathered in the Thakur Dalan, first for the pujo when the idol of Sree Radha and Sree Krishna were worshipped in the Dalan, and Horir Loot of Batasha and Naru were distributed. Unlike in the village, people here, especially children, did not fight over the Horir Loot . Bondita and Batuk took part in the ritual like they used to as kids, counting the number of Batasha each of them had, amusing the elders who reminisced about their childhood and how Batuk snatched Bondita’s share and ran as she chased after him, shouting. The Kirtan followed the pujo, the tales of Sree Krishna’s prowess, his Leela and Radha’s sacrifice were sung with the sounds of Dhol and Khanjani . It followed the devotional songs praising Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and his praises to Lord Krishna. Bondita not only liked the stories of Kirtan but also how the crowd joined in the singing and...

Purnota: Chapter Thirty Seven

“Why will Bondita not come for Holi?” Asha asked as she inspected the colours, Abir, Pichkiri and balloons Somnath had ordered from Baro Bazaar. He shrugged. “She is scared of colours, I think.” Asha smiled, a little amused at her clueless husband. “She is not ten anymore.” He looked up at her words with a sheepish smile, “Well, I never saw her play Holi, perhaps Dadabhai knows the reason.” Asha contemplated her husband’s words. She did not share a relationship with Aniruddha frank enough for him to share things about Bondita. It would be easier for her to ask Bondita instead. “If you wish for her to come,” Som said, like he could almost read her mind, “Perhaps you can invite her. She won’t say no to you.” Asha nodded. “It will be good to have the whole family together. It's not been so since the wedding.” She smiled. Som agreed as he matched the list with the things. “Yes, and Baba will be coming too, he told me not to tell Jethu, but I was surprised by that.” “Maybe because he an...

His Wife

" Where is the Kesar, Rama? And the Kalash?" Ajabdeh looked visibly displeased at the ladies who ran around. " They are at the fort gates, and nothing is ready yet!" She exclaimed. She was clad in a red lehenga and the jewellery she had inherited as the first Kunwarani of the crown prince. Little Amar ran down the hallway towards his mother. " Maasa Maasa... who is coming with Daajiraj?" His innocent question made her heart sink. " Bhanwar Ji." Sajja Bai called out to him. " Come here, I will tell you." Amar rushed to his Majhli Dadisa., " Ajabdeh." She turned at Jaivanta Bai's call. "They are here." " M... My Aarti thali..." Ajabde looked lost like never before. Jaivanta Bai held her stone-cold hands, making her stop. She patted her head and gave her a hug. The hug gave her the comfort she was looking for as her racing heart calmed down. Jaivanta Bai left her alone with her thaal. " Maa sa!" ...

Purnota: Chapter Forty One

Kalindi stood looking at the Ganga in the distance as Trilochon watched her. It was later in the night, and the stars were veiling the clear summer sky. A cool breeze blew from the Ganga, relaxing Kalindi’s restless heart as she took a stroll. Trilochon had spotted her in the garden from his balcony and walked up to her. She did not turn as he came up behind her and cleared his throat. “I apologise for storming off like that.” He was the first to speak. Kalindi inhaled. “Have you heard that she went to borrow a saree from Bouma to wear to some party?” Kalindi spoke rather monotonously. “Yes, Bouma said so.” Trilochon cleared his throat. He left out the part where Asha enthusiastically told him about Bondita blushing and her idea of telling Bondita to confess her feelings. Instead, Trilochon added, “The senior is very influential. He can have some good contacts for Bondita. Perhaps enough for her to get a job in Kolkata, like you wanted.” Kalindi could hear through his unconvincing...

To Protect You

Kunwar Pratap was in the court with Rana Udai Singh. The Mughals were conquering a huge part of the north courtesy of Bairam Khan and Mewar on their routes to the ports of Surat. " Daajiraj, we need to secure the roads leading to Agra and also towards the west. The attack-prone areas should always be under surveillance." " Yes, Ranaji. Baojiraj is right." Rawatji agreed. In the Rani Mahal, everyone was preparing for a grand lunch. Ajabdeh was making a drink for the princes and princesses, and in a hurry, she forgot to add the Kesar and Badam on top. As she served the smaller princes, including Kunwar Jagmal, Dheerbai came to inspect her eldest son's food. " What is this? Who made this? Kokoiaji?" She stormed to the kitchen with a bowl of sweet dishes. " Kunwaranisa did." Came a scary answer, from Veer Bai. " Ajabdeh Baisa." Her words let out a silent gasp from the lesser queens who stood witness. Calm and composed, Ajabdeh walke...

Purnota: Chapter Forty Three

Trilochon and Kalindi were having tea in the morning in their living room when Binoy walked downstairs in his Pajama Panjabi, pipe in hand and found them. Watching him unusually in his home attire, Trilochon frowned. “Are you sick? I thought you had already left.” Binoy sat down on the single chaise chair beside the couch as Kalindi poured some tea for him. “ I told you, Dada, I am here to retire.” He said, putting his pipe in his pocket. “Today, Som is going alone. We will see how that goes.” Their conversation was interrupted by Asha coming into the house in a white and red saree, with a red sindoor Teep on her forehead. She had a basket with her, and Koeli was accompanying her as she offered them the sweets she had taken as Prasad. “Since it’s his first day at the new position, we went to the temple together.” Asha narrated to Kalindi. “He left for work from there.” “Do you not have school today?” Kalindi enquired as Asha shook her head. She smiled, eyeing Trilochon, who narra...

Life and You

" Maharanisa! Maharanisa!" The maid-in-waiting ran through the quiet Rani Mahal as Jaivanta Bai, who was sitting in front of the Lord in her room ever since she was back, rushed out of her room, followed by Sajjabai and Veerbai. " What happened?" She asked, her voice calm, but her heart thumping. " Kunwarsa is here... with Kunwarani... She... She...." The maid sobbed as Jaivanta Bai rushed to the room. She stood at the door as her eyes could not believe what she saw. Kunwar Pratap was soaked in her blood as he laid her down on the bed, shouting, " Quick. Rajvaidya..." His eyes stopped at the door as Jaivanta Bai rushed to be beside the unconscious Ajabdeh. The Daasis and Sevaks were running about soon enough. Sajja Bai gasped at the scene. So much blood. Kunwar Pratap had not noticed anything except her calm, unconscious face. Now that he noticed his blood-soaked, red hands, he stared at them as though in a trance. "Kunwar Pratap! Tell me w...

Eternally Yours

Ajabdeh woke up to find neither the pillow nor the husband beside her. That was really unusual. Has she overslept? No, it was dark, and the first birds were singing. She sat up to find that he had neatly arranged the pillows and made his side of the bed, and put his blanket over her. She checked the changing room. No, he was not there, but unlike other days, his clothes were not in a mess. She freshened up and reached the dressing table. His brooch was not there. Where is he? Has the war... Her heart skipped a beat. What if he had left and not even woken her up? " Daasi? Daasi?" She called out as one of them walked in. " Ji Kuwaranisa?" " Where is Kunwarsa?" " He left early in the morning for Dangal and then a visit to the village. Do you need anything?" " No, you may go now." She put on the sindoor in worry. Maybe something urgent has come up. She walked to the Puja room and was shocked. Her garlands were made, the Chandan was in plac...

RAABTA

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