Decisions

Tere kadmo ke nishano par chalegi duniya

Main teri akhon mein dekhu sapna mera.

It was almost noon when Bondita reached the riverside with Koeli. The driver had arrived late and she wasn't supposed to go to the riverside alone. Aniruddha and Batuk had left for Kolkata early in the morning. They would be back in a day. That gave Bondita enough time to think of her choice of a career among other things. Somnath was going to leave for hunting with Binoy soon and Bondita noticed Ashapurna being a little sad about his departure.

"Come to the riverside with me." She insisted. Ashapurna shook her head. 

"We will be back by lunch." Bondita tried to persuade a reluctant Asha. Nevertheless, she was alone here. 

She sat down on the bank of the river and took out the folded letter from her potli. She then opened it to read what she wrote once before sending it her Goddess's way. Her eyes fell on the black ink beneath her blue ones. She could recognise his handwriting. 

"Don't listen to any of her worries, Maa Durga. If she is a better Barrister than I, you know I will be happiest." A smile curved Bondita's lips. She made the paper into a boat and floated it down the river. In a while, it sank into the flow of the river. She watched it with folded hands. Then she suddenly felt offended. He had read her letter without asking. She was sure to give him a tough time when he returned. She smiled again at the idea. The car zoomed towards the Roy Chowdhury house as her thoughts wandered.

When she woke up at dawn, she had found his hand in hers. Alarmed, she tried to pull it away without waking him up. He moved in his sleep as she froze. She couldn't help but notice his sleeping figure, his hair locks falling over his forehead. How peaceful he looked in sleep. Like he was calm. Bondita was amused at her own thoughts. She had slipped away her hand, making him blink awake. "Bondita?" He looked half asleep, barely able to open his eyes.

"Go back to sleep. It's barely dawn." She whispered as he turned to the other side. 

Bondita came to the kitchen to find Ashapurna not there. She asked the cook, who shrugged. Bondita sat down to prepare lunch without waiting for her. Ashapurna was in her room, packing for Somnath. He was instructing her on what he needed. 

"My hunting boots." He said, half lying on the bed. She nodded.

"Can I ask you something?" She looked up at him, not waiting for his answer "Isn't hunting…Risky?" Somnath laughed aloud at her scared face. 

"Are you aware that our forefathers went to wars for kings?" He said with a hint of pride. "You are scared of a hunting experience?!" His voice had a hint of taunt. Ashapurna grew quiet. The room fell silent for some time before she spoke again. "Can you not take me along?" Somnath's face grew grim at her words. "Ashapurna. Don't forget you are the lady of this house, the daughter-in-law of the Roy Chowdhury house. You can't simply think you can go hunting with me and your father-in-law. That's outrageous!"

"No. No. Please don't get me wrong." She shook her head. "I just thought I could accompany you to their house. You will not be here for a month and…"

"You can't. What will Baba think?" Somnath shook his head. "There are so many people in this house. A month will be nothing. Besides, if you feel lonely, visit your parents." He shook his head. "I have a lot more important things to worry about than your sadness. Go prepare lunch. I am hungry." He looked away. Ashapurna kept the half-packed luggage and rushed to the kitchen.

"Are you alright?" Bondita asked. Ashapurna forced a smile. 

"Don't worry, he will be back before you know it." She reassured her. 

"Didibhai. You know so much. Tell me. Why do women not accompany a hunting party?" Bondita was a little surprised. Barely ever did Ashapurna have any questions! 

"Who said they don't?" She shrugged. "You know Jahangir's chief wife Nur Jahan could hunt better than him." She smiled. "I read in a book. I will give it to you." Ashapurna nodded.

"Aree, Mejo Bouma, Bondita?" Trilochan called, "Will we get lunch or not?"

"Aschi." They said in unison and smiled.

In the evening, Bondita hovered around the telephone set. She sat on the couch reading a book, dusted the tables and bookshelf in the sitting area, and checked the telephone for dial tone. 

"Is he supposed to call?" Binoy's voice made her jump as she dropped the receiver.

"What? Baba. I was just dusting." She looked away awkwardly. Her ears grew warm. Binoy smiled as she walked away. 

That night, Bondita sat thinking. She could choose a safer profession like a teacher, and study literature like many women did in the city. A few chose to be something other than nurses and teachers. She cupped her face, lost in thought. She was aware of the struggles of choosing a profession in this man's world. She had read in the newspapers about the lady pioneers like Kadambini Ganguly and Cornelia Sorabji. Success stories mesmerised her. Her thoughts wandered as she eyed Aniruddha's portrait in the barrister's clothes. Was it only about her dreams? What about him? He had done so much for her. By midnight, lying on her empty side of the bed, she had made her choice. She couldn't wait for him to get home. 

Batuk ran up the stairs to greet Ashapurna and Bondita as soon as the car stopped at the front porch. 

"I met a real archaeologist." He gushed. "I will tell you all about it!" They nodded excitedly. 

"I will get you coffee." Bondita smiled as a tired Aniruddha nodded. 

"In the room, please."

"Keep the stories for when we make achaar," Ashapurna suggested to Batuk. "We have loads of chores to finish. Didibhai has to go to school as well."

"Yes, without Didi here, it's tough. We will need some real teachers soon." Bondita agreed. 

Bondita placed down the coffee on the table as Aniruddha walked up to get it. His hair was wet and the towel hung from his neck. He had changed into a crisp blue Panjabi. He took a sip of the coffee as Bondita took the wet towel from his neck and was about to walk out the door. She stopped at the threshold. 

"What did you get for me?" She asked with eager eyes.

"What?" He looked a bit taken aback and clueless. Was he supposed to get anything? She never said. 

"I thought you would bring Rosogollas." She frowned. 

"I didn't know you wanted them." He shrugged, still clueless. 

"When did I ever ask for them? You always got them anyway." She frowned. She had heard marriages changed a man. She saw it clearly now. Never before had she ever asked him, yet every time he visited Kolkata, he had inevitably got them for her. Now he was acting like she always asked for it. Giving him a disapproving stare, Bondita left. 

It was afternoon when Ashapurna and Bondita sat down to make some achar in the inner courtyard. Batuk took this opportunity to move around the courtyard in circles and tell them about his experience in Calcutta. A paper plane landed almost in Ashapurna's bowl of spices. 

"Batuk!" She frowned. "Be careful." A clueless Batuk shrugged. Almost like a reflex, Bondita looked up at the first-floor balcony and picked up the paper plane discreetly. 

"I will go get some oil." She hid the paper plane in her anchol and walked away towards the store room. 

Aniruddha had ducked the moment the plane veered off its course. He watched her go and smiled.

"What is all this?" Bondita frowned as she approached the terrace. He smiled, pleased. The message on the paper plane had reached its rightful owner. 

"Roshogolla. Maybe not from Calcutta but…" He held out the earthen pot sheepishly. Bondita narrowed her eyes at him. He held his ear with the other hand and urged her to have one. Amused, Bondita took one of the rosogollas and smelled it. He watched her savour them with a smile. 

"I also have something to tell you." She said in between bites. He nodded.

"Do not, and I repeat, do not, read my letters or jeopardise them. It's an invasion of privacy. Write your own letters."

"As you order, Judge Roy Chowdhury Madam." He made her laugh as he folded his hands. 

"You know, I feel Asha wanted to go with Som Dada." She said keeping down the empty pot. "But he won't let her."

"You have been too concerned with them lately." Aniruddha almost complained. "I have better news."

She waited with raised eyebrows. 

"I actually talked of making the school official with some sources in the Government. And we will get some positive news soon. Along with making it official, they will also enrol more students and appoint teachers."

"That's such a relief. I feel like I have been ignoring the school a lot lately." Bondita spoke a little guiltily.

"That's not true. You are trying hard to balance things but it will get more difficult when you start studying more." He reassured her. 

"I have something to share, too." She smiled. "I made up my mind on a career."

"And?" He crossed his arms across his chest. 

"And I would like to be a Barrister." The happiness in his eyes was unmistakable. Bondita suddenly felt silly for all her insecurities earlier. She smiled as he pulled her into an embrace. 

"I am so happy. We will get you enrolled in the University of Calcutta and…" he smiled as her face looked sad.

" That means I have to move out of the home."

"We. Yes, we have to, for a few years." He agreed. 

"Why will you?" She frowned, "I heard there are girls' hostels there."

"But I am not letting you go alone." He shook his head.

"Will Kakababu agree?" She asked unsurely. 

"We will talk to him. But that's later. Right now, I am so proud of you." His words met her smile. "You chose something more difficult than what is expected, and that is brave."

The sound of footsteps alerted them. Aniruddha looked around as Bondita held his hand and dragged him up the spiral stairs to the chilekotha above the terrace.

"What are we…'' he frowned as she ducked behind the railings, forcing him to sit down. "Hush." She warned as they saw Somnath and Asha enter the terrace through the railings.

"Why are we hiding here?" He whispered.

"Because we don't want to disturb them." She warned. "But what is it…" Aniruddha stopped, taken aback as her hand reached his mouth to stop him from talking further. The smell of achar from her palm hit his nostrils. His heart beat faster as his eyes scanned her face closely. He held her hand over his mouth. She turned a little conscious as his palm brushed against her hand. 

"Will you call me?" Ashapurna asked unsurely.

"I will write to you," Somnath reassured. "It's only a few weeks."

"Letters arrive very late," Ashapurna complained. Somnath smiled, holding her wrist, "The distance will be good. I promise."

"What if you like someone there?" Her query was met with laughter from Somnath. 

"You know what I was thinking?" He teased Ashapurna. 

"Why not solve your loneliness?" She looked clueless at his words. "If a child engages you, you will not have time to think of unwanted things." She blushed at his words.

Bondita was about to shriek as a lizard jumped right beside them, prompting Aniruddha to hold her mouth the same way she held his. He shook his head, widening his eyes like a warning. Her eyes caught him in a peal of mischievous laughter hidden in them. Bondita suddenly felt alarmed as he pulled her closer to himself. Her hands automatically reached his shoulder for balance. She could feel his breath and heartbeat. Her throat felt as dry as her lips. Her eyes traced the sharp features of his face and found his eyes lingering on her lips. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Will we not get the evening tea already?" Trilochan's voice alarmed the couple. 

"Ohho. He is looking for me." Bondita sounded alarmed. Aniruddha looked at her face amused.

"Jetha Moshai is calling us," Ashapurna spoke. "I have to go. Where is Didibhai?" She wondered aloud as Som followed her downstairs. Bondita waited for their footsteps to fade away as she got up in a hurry to reach the kitchen. Aniruddha watched her go with a smile.

It was late at night when Bondita came into the bedroom to see Aniruddha asleep on his side. She changed into her simple cotton saree and removed her jewellery. Then she lay down on her side and smiled at his sleeping figure. She held his hand in hers. Neither did he hold it back, nor did he move at all. He was in a deep slumber. Bondita moved her face closer to where her hand touched his. She blushed at his sight. Then bravely, she moved her lips closer to his hand in hers and let them brush lightly on his skin. She moved away immediately and closed her eyes, as her cheeks grew warm. A smile curved Aniruddha's lips as he held back her hand firmly, making her heart skip a beat. Bondita wasn't brave enough to open her eyes and check on him anymore. If she did, she'd know he was staring at her pretend sleeping face, amused.