Skip to main content

Our Dream

 Main nasamajh gyani hai tu
Main dhool hu aasmaan tu.

"But why can't I go?" Bondita frowned as Binoy and Trilochan looked at each other. "I must go. I can't miss Asha's wedding."
"You know women don't go to weddings, right?" Trilochan shook his head, taking the glass of Haldi milk Bondita had brought for him. "They wait at home to welcome the bride."
"I can come back early." She reasoned. "And I have so many reasons why you should let me go."
"I know you do." Trilochan shrugged. "And they will, as usual, be logical. But…"
"Dada, let her come along if she wants to." Binoy interrupted. "What's the big deal? It's just across the village."
"It's not about how we feel, Binoy. We are going as guests to the Kutumb bari. They also must have rules. And there will be guests. Ours and theirs. They will judge us." 
Bondita frowned at his words, disappointed. 

"Have you got the rooms ready?" Trilochan asked as she nodded.
"But… I think we may need to accommodate people in our rooms." She spoke. Aniruddha walked in on the conversation and saw her standing in front of Binoy and Trilochan quietly. What has she done now?
"Well, that is not a problem. I will shift to Binoy's room. We can accommodate my elder cousin Subinoy Da and his wife Malati Boudi there."
"We already have allotted rooms for our cousin sister Bina, her husband and son Nikhil," Binoy spoke. Bondita nodded. "And Prabhavati's cousin brother Subimal and his family."
"Umm… there is an addition." Bondita stared at the guest list. " Jetha Moshai's son is recently married, so he is also coming with his wife. Jethima called." 
"Oh yes. That completely slipped my mind." Trilochan nodded. "Subinoy Da's son Satya got married a few months back. Remember Binoy?" Binoy shrugged.
"We are short of one room," Bondita stated. "And we can't accommodate any guests with Thakuma. She stays without electricity."
"That's no problem." Prabhavati walked into the sitting area and sat down. "Ira and I can shift somewhere."
"Let me move into Batuk's room." Aniruddha offered. "And Mashi can stay with Bondita. We will give her old bedroom to Nikhil." 
"No, no. Why will you move from your room?" Trilochan shook his head.
"That's how we can give Mashi's room to Satya da and his wife," Bondita suggested.
"Don't call anyone by their names." Trilochan scolded. 
"But … I know him." She stopped at Trilochan's stare.
"That's settled then. I am moving my things into Bondita's bedroom. Sorry, Aniruddha." Prabhavati got up and teased her nephew, who shook his head.

Bondita had cleared out her books from her old bedroom and Aniruddha's to the study as the guests poured in. Not only did the guests need space, but they also didn't need to know about her education. She didn't know how they'd react. Apart from close family, there were a lot of new people around, friends and acquaintances who now had access to the Roy Chowdhury house over the next few days. It also meant she could sneak some time out at night to study according to her own convenience. 

The guests started pouring in soon. Aniruddha was busy reluctantly socialising with his cousins while Bondita kept an eye on the kitchen and arrangements. Batuk had found a few friends his age. Ira tagged along with them. Somnath wanted to help, but wasn't allowed to by Trilochan. He was extremely bored sitting around the elder generations discussing politics. 

The women seemed to be attracted to the kitchen the way bees are attracted to honey. Bondita failed to understand why these women, who had these few days to themselves, could do anything else but chose to assemble in the kitchen as a habit. She was cutting vegetables with Koeli in a corner when Malati Debi walked into the kitchen and walked up to the other women who sat on the floor in circles, making spices, or separating leaves of a saag, and gossiping. Behind her was her newly married daughter-in-law, Kadambini. 
"Come sit here, Boudi." Prabhavati smiled. "We were just hearing how Subimal gifts Boudi jewellery every now and then."
"So lucky." Bina Pishi gushed. 
Kadambini was about to sit down on the floor when Malati almost shrieked. 
"Bihari. Get her a high stool." She insisted. "She is expecting. The Kabiraj told her to be careful." Bondita looked up at the glowing face of the expectant mother. She was younger than Bondita. It disturbed her. But she seemed happy. Kadambini caught her stare and walked up to her. 
"Can I sit here?" She asked. 
"Surely. When are you expecting?" Bondita asked with a polite smile.
"Umm… It's been a few months." She blushed. Bondita nodded.
"You are newly married?" She asked. Bondita nodded. "A month. Almost."
"Then you must get all the attention from your husband. It reduces when you get pregnant." She held Bondita's hand as she looked a bit taken aback. "Now I sleep in my mother-in-law's room. He usually comes home late." She shrugged. "But my mother says once it is a boy, he will dote on me again." She smiled faintly. Bondita's eyes gave away her sympathetic look as Kadambini looked aware. 
"Enough about me. How's your married life? Did anything change?" She asked eagerly. Bondita was reluctant to have this conversation. She looked away and smiled. 

"Sorry for being harsh, I don't know Subimal that well." Malati's voice caught their attention. "But my mother always says, if a man is giving you too many gifts, start being suspicious of him." The other women listened wide-eyed. Bondita noticed Kadambini looked pale. "There are two instances a man gives you excess gifts. One is he's deeply in love, that goes away the minute he gets what he wants." Bondita looked awkward during the entire conversation. The other women seem to agree. "Or he's having an affair," Malati spoke confidently. "Or he's going to the Baiji bari," Bina added. "Right?" 
Bondita suddenly remembered the Jalsaghar incident. Aniruddha's awkward face flashed in her mind, and suddenly made sense why he was against it all. 

"Oh. You ladies. Stop being so bitter." Prabhavati shook her head. "The younger ones are here." She made everyone stare at Bondita, who resumed her vegetable cutting like she wasn't listening. "Kadambini." Prabhavati smiled. "How is married life?" She made her blush.
"My Bouma is very good. She is a perfect housewife. She knows how to cook, clean, sew, and everything. And look, three weeks into the marriage and we have good news." Malati gushed. "Bondita, how long have you been married?" She asked under the same breath. Bondita looked up at her words, and then at Prabhavati. "I… almost a month."
"Very well then! Convince that husband of yours that this is no vilayet. We should hear good news soon." Malati gushed. Everyone else smiled.
"True." Bina added, "That's what a wife's responsibility is. Run the house and have heirs. What else do women have in their lives?" 
"True. I detest how some people nowadays are concerned with age and consent. Did anyone ask us?" Malati shrugged. "Are we not happy?"
Bondita got up abruptly. "I… need to go see the...
" She turned to leave.
"Oh. She seems shy." Bina laughed.

Bondita walked out of the main door, onto the portico, and she could breathe again. It was tough not to speak her mind. But she shouldn't. These were Kakababu's guests. 
"Are you okay?" She turned to see Aniruddha staring at her with concerned eyes. She nodded. 
"I am going to get flowers for the decoration. Anything you want?" He asked.
"Rajanigandha sticks. For the vases." He nodded. "Those are my favourites." He looked up at her face. She had a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Something was bothering her.

Prabhavati found Bondita in her room, folding her clothes as she sat down on the bed. 
"Don't let them get to you." She spoke, making her nod. "I saw you are bothered."
Bondita kept the clothes aside. "Mashi. She is barely fourteen. Her marriage is illegal."
"Spoken like a Barrister's wife indeed." Prabhavati smiled. "There is a huge gap between written law and applied law in this country." She cupped Bondita's face. "It's a harsh reality."
"And how women speak of being comfortable in whatever is offered…" Prabhavati nodded at her words.
"Women themselves are comfortable in oppression. That's a sad truth, too."

Aniruddha had finally found peace after a hectic day as he sat alone in the study with a book. He was tired of fake smiles and forced conversation. Worst of all, it had just started. The sound of anklets on the spiral staircase made him look up. Bondita walked downstairs, in a very simple one-colour cotton saree she had changed into after being prim and proper the entire day. As much as she hated it, Aniruddha was aware that Jetha Moshai had clear instructions on her attire for these few days. She looked tired. She walked up to his study table and placed the notebook. "Here's today's work. I just finished it. Thakuma was making me massage her legs." She shrugged. "She keeps complaining that her legs are weak. She can't just start running at this age, can she?" Bondita made him smile. She walked towards the coffee table and started replacing the dried flowers with the newly bought Rajnigandha sticks. The smell of tube roses filled the room. 
"Bihari could do that in the morning." He said as he opened her copy to check the work. "Don't overwork. You will fall ill."
"Everyone is overworked. Aren't you? With all the sweet talk?" She raised her brows as he shrugged. 
"Uff. Of course. I want to speak out at times." He let out his frustration. 
"Me too." She said softly, staring at the flowers.
"Bondita?" He frowned. "I have been seeing you since morning. What's wrong?" He asked. "Come here and tell me." She got up from her kneeling position to fix the flowers and walked up to the opposite side of the table.
"Did you know Kadambini is younger than me? She had been married at an illegal age, and now she is…She is…" Bondita looked agitated. 
"Hold on. Hold on." Aniruddha spoke. "Who is Kadambini?"
"Satya da's wife." She shook her head hopelessly at him. 
"Ohh." He frowned. "How did you know all this?" 
"I heard it from the horse's mouth. Worse is, they don't even know that it's wrong." She shook her head. 
"Did you say anything?" He asked.
"No. I promised Kakababu." Bondita looked sad. Aniruddha exhaled. 
"So you feel guilty?" He asked.
"I don't know what I feel." She nodded truthfully. "I am just disturbed." She shook her head again, looking away. "Sometimes I feel, who are we fighting for, Barrister Babu?"
"We are fighting for Bondita." He made her look up at his face. "We are fighting for all the girls who are like Bondita. So that they don't become another unheard voice. Right?" He made her nod.
"Can I ask you something?" She rubbed her hands, unsure.
"Yes, anything."
"Barrister Babu, did we too, in some way, give in to the ill practices?" Her frowning face made him stare. "Did we, instead of protesting, give in to the belief our families had lived with for the last seven years?"
"No, Bondita." Aniruddha shook his head firmly. "And I will tell you why." He made her sit down and sat across her on the couch. 
"We did believe what they said was not true. Didn't we?" She nodded. "Hence, what happened the second time was irrespective of the first. If I had known you, not knowing the past, and I saw the zeal you have to fight for rights and education, I would have still … wanted to help you fly. Reach your dreams. Help your education. And Bondita…" He held her hands in his. "I told you before. I came here quite clueless and wanted to contribute to making my country better. You showed me a way." Bondita's eyes widened. She remembered Pishima's words about charity. "So you helped me in my dreams as much as I am helping in yours."
"Because our dreams are the same?" Bondita asked as he nodded. "We didn't give in to anything, Bondita. We are always going to do what is better for the future. Like your matriculation should be a focus now." She nodded. "I won't let you down." He smiled.
"Okay then, too many questions. Now my turn." He got up and reached for his drawer. "I got you something." She looked eager.

Aniruddha handed her the tube rose garland he had got from the market. "You said they are your favourite." She smiled, taking the garland and smelling it. "I will put them on a plate in the room." She nodded. "Goodnight." He watched her go up the spiral staircase.






Popular posts from this blog

Sibling's Day

Shakti always had a very strict sibling equation with Pratap. Though they were only two years apart, the siblings had very different tastes and preferences. For Shakti,  Pratap's disciplined and well-planned life looked like he was missing out on a lot of things. He sometimes didn't even approve of how impulsive Pratap was when he was emotional. Shakti, on the other hand, prioritised experiences over plans. He never found a need to feel deeply for anything the way Pratap did, and over the years, mostly in  Pratap's absence from the family, he had managed to find a way with his parents. But he didn't really have any other elder sibling figure. All his cousins' sisters were close to him and younger. But with Ajabdeh, he had developed this very strong connection over the past few weeks. As a child, Shakti's playmate in the house used to be Sajja, while his father worked, his mother ran NGOs, and Pratap was always found with his head in a book. Ajabdeh was up for an...

My Everything

Kunwar Pratap stormed into the Mahal at Gogunda amidst uncertainty and chaos. Happy faces of the chieftains and soldiers welcomed him as Rawat Chundawat, and some other chieftains stopped the ongoing Raj Tilak. A visibly scared Kunwar Jagmal looked clueless at a visibly angry Kunwar Pratap. Rani Dheerbai Bhatiyani hadn't expected Kunwar Pratap to show up, that too, despite her conveying to him his father's last wish of crowning Kunwar Jagmal. Twenty-one days after Udai Singh's death, she was finally close to a dream she had dared to dream since Jagmal was born. He was not informed about the Raj Tilak as per Dheerbai's instructions. She eyed Rawat Ji. He must have assembled the chiefs to this revolt against her son, against the dead king. No one except them knew where Kunwar Pratap was staying. It was for the safety of his family. " What are you doing, Chotima?" A disappointed voice was directed at her. She could stoop down so low? For the first time, an anger...

Happy Ending

Dheer had a sleepless night. Yes, she had killed the Maharani, but to seek revenge for her son. Jagmal was all she had for a dream, and Rana Pratap's first decision was to banish him. He had never been that tough with his other brothers who went with Akbar, then why him? Just because he wanted to be a king? Just because they brought a false letter and bought a few witnesses? Her son died in Ajmer, so young. And she had always blamed Ajabdeh Punwar for Rana's hard decision. After all, ever since she came as a support for Jaivanta Bai, she had been like his shield, even though creating misunderstandings didn't help Dheer Bai Bhatiyani. Ajabdeh had done the impossible, showing him the real face of his Chotima. What bothered Dheer now was whether he remembered anything, and most importantly, if she did. Dheer had turned pale at the song and smile Pratap gave, but if he knew she had killed Ajabdeh, it meant Survi remembered her walking to a dying Ajabdeh and confessing that ...

Begum Sahib: Forbidden Love

2nd June 1634, Burhanpur. " My heart is an endowment of my beloved, the devotee and lover of his sacred shrine, a soul that enchants mine."  The Raja of Bundi had arrived at Burhanpur after a win in the war of Paranda. He had met the crown prince Dara and was honoured with a sword and elephant before he came to pay his respect to the Padishah Begum as per the norms of the court. Jahanara was writing in her room. Her maid came with the news, “Begum Sahib, the Raja of Bundi has arrived at court; he is at the Bagh to pay you his respect.” “Tell him to sit in the courtyard of my bagh, I will be there.” She had risen from her place, covered her face in the veil of her dupatta and walked to the place where he waited. “ Begum Sahib”, he had acknowledged her presence with a salutation. She returned the bow with a nod. She was sitting inside the arch while he was on the other side of the Purdah, the sun shining over his head as he took his seat on the velvet carpet th...

Queen of the Heart

Kunwar Pratap was in the Dangal Sthal practising his moves. Ajabdeh decided it was fair to know his strength before she summoned him. Sword in hand, in a white female warrior attire with only her face visible, she hid behind one of the large watchtowers of the Dangal, watching him move. She heard Rawatji say, "Your left hand is still weaker than the right one with the moves. Both should be perfect." A smile curved her lips. Knowing an opponent's weakness always helps, which is one rule of war she always remembered.   Kunwar Pratap swung his sword with his left hand and turned around. He could sense someone watching; his sixth sense was never wrong. He looked around. Ajabdeh again peeped at the grounds to see that it was empty. He had left. She walked towards the empty ground, sword in hand. Suddenly, the cold blade of a sword was felt on her neck. She stopped still. " So someone was spying on me." His voice had a hint of taunt. " No, I was ... walking by......

His Wife

" Where is the Kesar, Rama? And the Kalash?" Ajabdeh looked visibly displeased at the ladies who ran around. " They are at the fort gates, and nothing is ready yet!" She exclaimed. She was clad in a red lehenga and the jewellery she had inherited as the first Kunwarani of the crown prince. Little Amar ran down the hallway towards his mother. " Maasa Maasa... who is coming with Daajiraj?" His innocent question made her heart sink. " Bhanwar Ji." Sajja Bai called out to him. " Come here, I will tell you." Amar rushed to his Majhli Dadisa., " Ajabdeh." She turned at Jaivanta Bai's call. "They are here." " M... My Aarti thali..." Ajabde looked lost like never before. Jaivanta Bai held her stone-cold hands, making her stop. She patted her head and gave her a hug. The hug gave her the comfort she was looking for as her racing heart calmed down. Jaivanta Bai left her alone with her thaal. " Maa sa!" ...

The Adventure of PI Ved: The Case in London

There is something funny about the phrase “as dead as a doornail.” Why? Because I am dead and I don’t look like a nail of any sort. I lie on my living room carpet, hands stretched out, the knife stuck to my back...such a backstabber. I hated them all my life! And what is the purpose of killing me? It is not like I would have lived much longer, I was eighty-five, for God’s sake! I lay here, the blood turning thick as I stared at the painting on the wall. It is such a hideous painting. I bought it for so much money, I was duped. I am waiting for the morning when my caregiver arrives to discover me on the floor. But I feel they are still around, looking for something. Searching every room.  It is around 7 AM that she rings the bell. She bangs the door. She yells out, “Mr Smith!” Oh no, she is going back. Come back here, you fool! The criminal must still be upstairs. I hear them come down the wooden staircase and exit from the back door. Now the useless caregiver lady is back. Oh, she ...

Purnota: Epilogue

“Hello?” Saudamini’s voice was heard on the other end of the telephone as Aniruddha breathed in. “Mini, this is Aniruddha.” “Oh, Ani, how are you? How is Bondita?” Her voice changed from doubtful to excited. Aniruddha was standing by the couch in the living room with a phone book on the coffee table and a sheet of paper with a guest list in his hand. The mention of Bondita made him involuntarily eye the visible corridor to the dining area, where he could hear her voice, instructing Koeli. Ever since the marriage, she seemed to have taken up the job of ordering everyone around the house like a true landlord, and even he was not spared from her occasional orders. That is exactly how he had landed on the couch with a phone book. “Umm… she is good. Everyone’s good. I’m calling because…” “Oh, do tell her I truly apologise for not attending the wedding. I know she was disappointed with me and thought it was some payback for her not attending mine.” An amused smile formed on Aniruddha’s lips ...

Begum Sahib: An Introduction and chronology

Note to the readers: Women behind men in history fascinate me. I had been reading about the mothers and wives who changed men’s fortunes. But what about daughters and sisters? A few months back, I was looking for books on Mughal Ladies, mainly Noor Jahan and her work. In the bibliography credits, I had chanced upon “The Life of A Mogul Princess” By Jahanara Begum, the daughter of Shah Jahan. I had no idea about the book and thought it was another autobiography. Previously, I had read only about how she was imprisoned along with her father at Agra, and her involvement with Dara Shikoh, her younger brother, in connecting the two realms of Hinduism and Islamism and the establishment of Sufism. All of these and the chronological events of history can be found in various books. As I read each page of her diary, cross-checking each point with Jagunath Sircar’s “History of Aurangzib” and R.C. Majumder’s “Mughal Empire” as well as numerous other sources on the Mughal Harem, I discovered ...

Eternally Yours

Ajabdeh woke up to find neither the pillow nor the husband beside her. That was really unusual. Has she overslept? No, it was dark, and the first birds were singing. She sat up to find that he had neatly arranged the pillows and made his side of the bed, and put his blanket over her. She checked the changing room. No, he was not there, but unlike other days, his clothes were not in a mess. She freshened up and reached the dressing table. His brooch was not there. Where is he? Has the war... Her heart skipped a beat. What if he had left and not even woken her up? " Daasi? Daasi?" She called out as one of them walked in. " Ji Kuwaranisa?" " Where is Kunwarsa?" " He left early in the morning for Dangal and then a visit to the village. Do you need anything?" " No, you may go now." She put on the sindoor in worry. Maybe something urgent has come up. She walked to the Puja room and was shocked. Her garlands were made, the Chandan was in plac...