Main nasamajh gyani hai tu
Main dhool hu aasmaan tu.
"But why can't I go?" Bondita frowned as Binoy and Trilochan looked at each other. "I must go. I can't miss Asha's wedding."
"You know women don't go to weddings, right?" Trilochan shook his head, taking the glass of Haldi milk Bondita had brought for him. "They wait at home to welcome the bride."
"I can come back early." She reasoned. "And I have so many reasons why you should let me go."
"I know you do." Trilochan shrugged. "And they will, as usual, be logical. But…"
"Dada, let her come along if she wants to." Binoy interrupted. "What's the big deal? It's just across the village."
"It's not about how we feel, Binoy. We are going as guests to the Kutumb bari. They also must have rules. And there will be guests. Ours and theirs. They will judge us."
Bondita frowned at his words, disappointed.
"Have you got the rooms ready?" Trilochan asked as she nodded.
"But… I think we may need to accommodate people in our rooms." She spoke. Aniruddha walked in on the conversation and saw her standing in front of Binoy and Trilochan quietly. What has she done now?
"Well, that is not a problem. I will shift to Binoy's room. We can accommodate my elder cousin Subinoy Da and his wife Malati Boudi there."
"We already have allotted rooms for our cousin sister Bina, her husband and son Nikhil," Binoy spoke. Bondita nodded. "And Prabhavati's cousin brother Subimal and his family."
"Umm… there is an addition." Bondita stared at the guest list. " Jetha Moshai's son is recently married, so he is also coming with his wife. Jethima called."
"Oh yes. That completely slipped my mind." Trilochan nodded. "Subinoy Da's son Satya got married a few months back. Remember Binoy?" Binoy shrugged.
"We are short of one room," Bondita stated. "And we can't accommodate any guests with Thakuma. She stays without electricity."
"That's no problem." Prabhavati walked into the sitting area and sat down. "Ira and I can shift somewhere."
"Let me move into Batuk's room." Aniruddha offered. "And Mashi can stay with Bondita. We will give her old bedroom to Nikhil."
"No, no. Why will you move from your room?" Trilochan shook his head.
"That's how we can give Mashi's room to Satya da and his wife," Bondita suggested.
"Don't call anyone by their names." Trilochan scolded.
"But … I know him." She stopped at Trilochan's stare.
"That's settled then. I am moving my things into Bondita's bedroom. Sorry, Aniruddha." Prabhavati got up and teased her nephew, who shook his head.
Bondita had cleared out her books from her old bedroom and Aniruddha's to the study as the guests poured in. Not only did the guests need space, but they also didn't need to know about her education. She didn't know how they'd react. Apart from close family, there were a lot of new people around, friends and acquaintances who now had access to the Roy Chowdhury house over the next few days. It also meant she could sneak some time out at night to study according to her own convenience.
The guests started pouring in soon. Aniruddha was busy reluctantly socialising with his cousins while Bondita kept an eye on the kitchen and arrangements. Batuk had found a few friends his age. Ira tagged along with them. Somnath wanted to help, but wasn't allowed to by Trilochan. He was extremely bored sitting around the elder generations discussing politics.
The women seemed to be attracted to the kitchen the way bees are attracted to honey. Bondita failed to understand why these women, who had these few days to themselves, could do anything else but chose to assemble in the kitchen as a habit. She was cutting vegetables with Koeli in a corner when Malati Debi walked into the kitchen and walked up to the other women who sat on the floor in circles, making spices, or separating leaves of a saag, and gossiping. Behind her was her newly married daughter-in-law, Kadambini.
"Come sit here, Boudi." Prabhavati smiled. "We were just hearing how Subimal gifts Boudi jewellery every now and then."
"So lucky." Bina Pishi gushed.
Kadambini was about to sit down on the floor when Malati almost shrieked.
"Bihari. Get her a high stool." She insisted. "She is expecting. The Kabiraj told her to be careful." Bondita looked up at the glowing face of the expectant mother. She was younger than Bondita. It disturbed her. But she seemed happy. Kadambini caught her stare and walked up to her.
"Can I sit here?" She asked.
"Surely. When are you expecting?" Bondita asked with a polite smile.
"Umm… It's been a few months." She blushed. Bondita nodded.
"You are newly married?" She asked. Bondita nodded. "A month. Almost."
"Then you must get all the attention from your husband. It reduces when you get pregnant." She held Bondita's hand as she looked a bit taken aback. "Now I sleep in my mother-in-law's room. He usually comes home late." She shrugged. "But my mother says once it is a boy, he will dote on me again." She smiled faintly. Bondita's eyes gave away her sympathetic look as Kadambini looked aware.
"Enough about me. How's your married life? Did anything change?" She asked eagerly. Bondita was reluctant to have this conversation. She looked away and smiled.
"Sorry for being harsh, I don't know Subimal that well." Malati's voice caught their attention. "But my mother always says, if a man is giving you too many gifts, start being suspicious of him." The other women listened wide-eyed. Bondita noticed Kadambini looked pale. "There are two instances a man gives you excess gifts. One is he's deeply in love, that goes away the minute he gets what he wants." Bondita looked awkward during the entire conversation. The other women seem to agree. "Or he's having an affair," Malati spoke confidently. "Or he's going to the Baiji bari," Bina added. "Right?"
Bondita suddenly remembered the Jalsaghar incident. Aniruddha's awkward face flashed in her mind, and suddenly made sense why he was against it all.
"Oh. You ladies. Stop being so bitter." Prabhavati shook her head. "The younger ones are here." She made everyone stare at Bondita, who resumed her vegetable cutting like she wasn't listening. "Kadambini." Prabhavati smiled. "How is married life?" She made her blush.
"My Bouma is very good. She is a perfect housewife. She knows how to cook, clean, sew, and everything. And look, three weeks into the marriage and we have good news." Malati gushed. "Bondita, how long have you been married?" She asked under the same breath. Bondita looked up at her words, and then at Prabhavati. "I… almost a month."
"Very well then! Convince that husband of yours that this is no vilayet. We should hear good news soon." Malati gushed. Everyone else smiled.
"True." Bina added, "That's what a wife's responsibility is. Run the house and have heirs. What else do women have in their lives?"
"True. I detest how some people nowadays are concerned with age and consent. Did anyone ask us?" Malati shrugged. "Are we not happy?"
Bondita got up abruptly. "I… need to go see the...
" She turned to leave.
"Oh. She seems shy." Bina laughed.
Bondita walked out of the main door, onto the portico, and she could breathe again. It was tough not to speak her mind. But she shouldn't. These were Kakababu's guests.
"Are you okay?" She turned to see Aniruddha staring at her with concerned eyes. She nodded.
"I am going to get flowers for the decoration. Anything you want?" He asked.
"Rajanigandha sticks. For the vases." He nodded. "Those are my favourites." He looked up at her face. She had a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Something was bothering her.
Prabhavati found Bondita in her room, folding her clothes as she sat down on the bed.
"Don't let them get to you." She spoke, making her nod. "I saw you are bothered."
Bondita kept the clothes aside. "Mashi. She is barely fourteen. Her marriage is illegal."
"Spoken like a Barrister's wife indeed." Prabhavati smiled. "There is a huge gap between written law and applied law in this country." She cupped Bondita's face. "It's a harsh reality."
"And how women speak of being comfortable in whatever is offered…" Prabhavati nodded at her words.
"Women themselves are comfortable in oppression. That's a sad truth, too."
Aniruddha had finally found peace after a hectic day as he sat alone in the study with a book. He was tired of fake smiles and forced conversation. Worst of all, it had just started. The sound of anklets on the spiral staircase made him look up. Bondita walked downstairs, in a very simple one-colour cotton saree she had changed into after being prim and proper the entire day. As much as she hated it, Aniruddha was aware that Jetha Moshai had clear instructions on her attire for these few days. She looked tired. She walked up to his study table and placed the notebook. "Here's today's work. I just finished it. Thakuma was making me massage her legs." She shrugged. "She keeps complaining that her legs are weak. She can't just start running at this age, can she?" Bondita made him smile. She walked towards the coffee table and started replacing the dried flowers with the newly bought Rajnigandha sticks. The smell of tube roses filled the room.
"Bihari could do that in the morning." He said as he opened her copy to check the work. "Don't overwork. You will fall ill."
"Everyone is overworked. Aren't you? With all the sweet talk?" She raised her brows as he shrugged.
"Uff. Of course. I want to speak out at times." He let out his frustration.
"Me too." She said softly, staring at the flowers.
"Bondita?" He frowned. "I have been seeing you since morning. What's wrong?" He asked. "Come here and tell me." She got up from her kneeling position to fix the flowers and walked up to the opposite side of the table.
"Did you know Kadambini is younger than me? She had been married at an illegal age, and now she is…She is…" Bondita looked agitated.
"Hold on. Hold on." Aniruddha spoke. "Who is Kadambini?"
"Satya da's wife." She shook her head hopelessly at him.
"Ohh." He frowned. "How did you know all this?"
"I heard it from the horse's mouth. Worse is, they don't even know that it's wrong." She shook her head.
"Did you say anything?" He asked.
"No. I promised Kakababu." Bondita looked sad. Aniruddha exhaled.
"So you feel guilty?" He asked.
"I don't know what I feel." She nodded truthfully. "I am just disturbed." She shook her head again, looking away. "Sometimes I feel, who are we fighting for, Barrister Babu?"
"We are fighting for Bondita." He made her look up at his face. "We are fighting for all the girls who are like Bondita. So that they don't become another unheard voice. Right?" He made her nod.
"Can I ask you something?" She rubbed her hands, unsure.
"Yes, anything."
"Barrister Babu, did we too, in some way, give in to the ill practices?" Her frowning face made him stare. "Did we, instead of protesting, give in to the belief our families had lived with for the last seven years?"
"No, Bondita." Aniruddha shook his head firmly. "And I will tell you why." He made her sit down and sat across her on the couch.
"We did believe what they said was not true. Didn't we?" She nodded. "Hence, what happened the second time was irrespective of the first. If I had known you, not knowing the past, and I saw the zeal you have to fight for rights and education, I would have still … wanted to help you fly. Reach your dreams. Help your education. And Bondita…" He held her hands in his. "I told you before. I came here quite clueless and wanted to contribute to making my country better. You showed me a way." Bondita's eyes widened. She remembered Pishima's words about charity. "So you helped me in my dreams as much as I am helping in yours."
"Because our dreams are the same?" Bondita asked as he nodded. "We didn't give in to anything, Bondita. We are always going to do what is better for the future. Like your matriculation should be a focus now." She nodded. "I won't let you down." He smiled.
"Okay then, too many questions. Now my turn." He got up and reached for his drawer. "I got you something." She looked eager.
Aniruddha handed her the tube rose garland he had got from the market. "You said they are your favourite." She smiled, taking the garland and smelling it. "I will put them on a plate in the room." She nodded. "Goodnight." He watched her go up the spiral staircase.
