Observation

Kyu na jaane teri chinta ho rahi hai mujhe

Har ghadi ab kyun hai dhyan tera.

Prabhavati sipped on her morning coffee as Bondita rushed to set the breakfast table for everyone. She was running late.

"Bouma. Bouma." Sadhana's voice gave away the displeasure on her face. Prabhavati smiled. "She has been a pleasure, hasn't she?"

"I… Mashi… What bothers me more is that she said she has lived like this since she was nine. Can we even blame her for being harsh?" Prabhavati looked up at her words. "You seem more mature than your age. How old are you?"

"Sixteen probably. I am not sure. Maa says I was born on Durga Navami." 

"Ah. Really?" Prabhavati smiled. She nodded.

"Good Morning." Somnath walked there as Bondita laid down his plate.

"So she started chattering early in the morning? Regained your energy? Slept well, Boudi?" He teased her.

"Yes, unlike you I am not spending sleepless nights daydreaming, Somnath Dada." Bondita stuck out her tongue at him.

"Ah, are you Som?" Prabhavati laughed. "Tell us about her." He blushed.

"Why are you quiet?" Bondita almost scolded. "Like you never knew her?"

"Dada also knew you. Why don't you ask him?" He made a face. 

"Ask me what?" Somnath and Bondita suddenly grew alert as Bondita walked away to the kitchen and Somnath concentrated on the food. Mashi smiled.

"Oh looks like Dada is kept out of all the Deyor Boudi banters." Prabhavati shrugged. "Okay Som, tell us about her. Then Aniruddha will. I love bullying you guys."

"Tell you what?" Aniruddha sat down as Bondita came back to serve him. 

"Where are Baba and Jetha Moshai?" He looked up at Bondita asking as she didn't look back at him. "They have gone to Calcutta to buy some things."

"Should have told me." He frowned.

"You two eat. I will wake up Batuk. One of these days he will get a bucket full of water." She shrugged running up the stairs. "He's late for school."

"So Somnath, how is Asha?" Prabhavati smiled. "Come on, it's just me."

Somnath eyed Aniruddha who looked rather expressionless. 

"You are scared of him?" Prabhavati raised her eyebrows. "Wait till I get a hold of him."

Aniruddha shook his head with a smile and concentrated on eating. 

"Asha… is… nice," Somnath spoke awkwardly.

"You can do better. " Prabhavati scolded "She is beautiful?" He nodded.

"And talented?"

"She sings very well." It was Aniruddha who spoke. "She also attends the women's school Bondita set up."

"Bondita?" Prabhavati looked impressed. "She set up a school?"

"It's still unofficial. We do have a good response. All thanks to Boudi not giving up." Som smiled.

"Dada. Dada." Batuk ran down the stairs with Bondita behind him.

"Save me." He said running across the dining space as Bondita ran behind him.

"Today is the last day I swear Batuk." She exclaimed. "I am not your alarm clock"

They ran around in circles and Aniruddha tried to stop them in vain. 

"Bondita? Batuk?" Prabhavati saw his helplessness. 

"Thakuma?" Aniruddha spoke as if someone was behind them and Bondita froze. Batuk let out a laugh as Aniruddha smiled amused. 

"You tricked me." She narrowed her eyes as Batuk continued to laugh. 

"Not the first time, is it?" Aniruddha walked past her and headed out making her look a little wide-eyed.

Prabhavati went ahead to meet Sadhana Debi. She found Bondita on the floor scrubbing it as she walked in frowning. 

"So, you finally found time to meet me?" Prabhavati smiled at the taunt.

"I didn't want to upset your routine Pishima." She eyed Bondita on the floor.

"Bondita, let the house helps do this." She spoke as Bondita looked up.

"Oh no." Sadhana Debi kept her beads down and shook her head.

"I don't let house helps into my room."

"But soon guests will arrive, Pishima." She touched the old lady's feet. "It won't look nice if they see her scrubbing floors. The Boro Bou of the Roy Chowdhury house, just married." She made Thakuma think. "You know how people are. A wedding happens for five days and they talk about it for five years."

"You are right Prabha." She nodded. "You are so intelligent. Reminds me of Shubhra." Prabhavati smiled. "Girl." Bondita looked up at her words. "Leave that and fold my clothes."

Prabhavati took the betel leaves box from the side table and started making paan which the old lady liked. She smiled. 

"I don't know what they saw in her." Prabhavati saw her speak under her breath as Bondita folded her clothes. "No pedigree."

"Aniruddha seems happy," Prabhavati spoke aloud. "Coming back to India. Nowadays people rarely come back."

"He's Roy Chowdhury, Prabha. He has enough to sit and feed his children." Prabhavati noticed Bondita looking awkward at her words.

"How is your husband?" She spoke, taking the paan into her mouth.

"Oh, he's on a business trip. He will be back in a month to take us home."

"Far away?" Prabhavati nodded. Sadhana Debi looked suspicious. 

"You know you are like a daughter to me. I can tell you things?" Sadhana made Prabhavati nod. Bondita looked eager at the conversation while folding the clothes. 

"Keep these husbands tied up. They stray too easily." Prabhavati gave a silent smile. Bondita's face looked surprised.

"She means well." Prabhavati smiled while walking out of the room with Bondita. "she is just a bit…"

"I know."Bondita nodded and whispered. 

"Can I ask you something?" Prabhavati stopped Bondita from holding her hands. "Is everything alright between you and Aniruddha?" She made Bondita look up. "I don't mean to intrude into your private space but the mention of children shook you. I observed that."

"I…Mashi… Barrister Babu wants me to give the matriculation examination." Bondita spoke in a whisper. She somehow found it easy to confide in Prabhavati. "Nobody knows it yet."

"Oh, he does?" Mashi's eyes lit up. "You should."

"He even says … I should go to college," Bondita spoke as Prabhavati agreed. 

"He is right, there is a world full of opportunity outside Tulsipur."

"So he said…At my age, the priority for life should be studying." Bondita looked away. Prabhavati nodded. 

"That's alright but remember he's not only your Sikshak. He's a life partner. I hope your emotional bond doesn't get affected?" Bondita shook her head. 

"So don't be bothered by others." Prabhavati cupped her face. "I know you will face a lot of scrutiny. I did as a new bride too. It's how society works."

"Barrister Babu says, the right questions can change mindsets. I am hopeful that someday…"

"Do you have a question in mind now?" Prabhavati looked amused. 

"Yes." Bondita looked amused. "Are husbands like cattle? She told you to tie them up." She giggled as Prabhavati smiled. 

It was late afternoon when Prabhavati stood on the balcony outside her room and spotted Bondita walking towards the mango orchards. Aniruddha followed her a few steps back carefully, turning every now and then to see if anyone spotted them, consciously. Prabhavati hid behind a curtain and smiled. Oh, how it feels to be young.

"When I said anything I didn't really mean anything." He narrowed his eyes at Bondita who looked like something mischievous was cooking in her mind. 

"You should keep your word." She reminded him. "aren't you always saying that?" She looked around as she got up on a tree. Aniruddha suddenly looked taken aback and stared around to see if anyone spotted them. 

"Come up. It's a good view." She urged. 

"Why do I need to climb a tree?" He asked, looking up at her dangling her nupur-clad feet from a branch. Bondita giggled.

"It's a punishment. I heard stories of you and Jamai Babu. I want to see if London has changed the villager in you."

"You are stubborn, you know that?" He frowned. She shrugged.

"And Brave Bondita too." She spoke with pride.

"No." He shook his head. "This is not brave Bondita, this is Bodmash Bondita." She let out a small gasp, narrowing her eyes at him. 

He was amused. 

"You are also Rakkosh Babu." She made his smile disappear. 

"What?" He raised his eyebrows "What did you say?" 

"Rakkhosh babu. Even poor Batuk is scared of you. Everyone is." She sounded amused. 

"Bondita!" He warned her as she giggled. "You know what will happen if Thakuma hears you." Bondita stuck out her tongue and swayed her feet from the tree playfully.

"But it seems like this scares you. Are you scared of climbing a tree, Barrister Babu?" He shook his head as she smirked.

"Huh. Am never scared." He rolled up his sleeves and with a little struggle managed to reach the branch beside hers. 

"Happy now?" He stared at her amused face. "Imagine if anyone sees us."

"I do this often." Bondita smiled. "Kakababu knows."

He shook his head. "So what are we doing up here?" 

"Umm…" she looked around. "I don't know." She giggled. 

Prabhavati had walked out of her room and came downstairs after hearing a commotion. 

"What do you mean he fell down? How did he...? Fell from where?" Trilochan looked agitated as Bondita applied turmeric to Aniruddha's bruised and bleeding arm. 

"Ah." He almost shouted in pain like a child. Intimidated by the same Bondita looked scared.

"Sorry. Sorry." She fumbled. 

"What if he has broken a bone?" Binoy shook his head. "He's not even saying how it happened." Prabhavati looked at Bondita and Aniruddha exchanged a glance. Bondita was about to speak up when Aniruddha shook his head at her intendedly.

"Hay Ram," Thakuma exclaimed, reaching the scene last. "How did this happen?" She sat down beside Aniruddha as Bondita shifted away and patted his head. "Who was with him when this happened?"

"I…" Bondita opened her mouth and stopped at Aniruddha's glare.

"You? I should have known. Can't you take care of him?" Thakuma's rebuke made Aniruddha frown.

"I am not a child, Thakuma." He shook his head. "It was just an accident." He eyed Bondita looking scared. "It's just bruised."

Sadhana Debi shook her head. "Stop taking her side. All you newlyweds...this one will go for a toss too" she eyed Som. "Come with me." She insisted. "I will do your embalming and dressing."

Bondita sat in front of the oven and the oil on her pail was getting heated. She was lost in thoughts since the afternoon blaming herself for his pain. She had seen him wince and try to suppress the pain because she looked worried. She cursed herself as the scrutinizing eyes of Sadhana Debi hovered on her. Bondita unmindfully placed her hand on the side of the heated metal pail and jumped back in pain. She rushed to dip her hand in a jug of water but her hand ached. She blew air on it. 

Aniruddha was standing on the inner balcony of the first floor, overlooking the courtyard surrounding the house, where the ladies, Sadhana Debi and Prabhavati sat on a mat, chatting. Ira played with a doll near them, as Koeli was busy picking up the laid-out achar in jars. It was almost evening. Aniruddha had a book in his left hand as he could barely move his right one. After the incident of falling down from the tree, and Thakuma's rebuke, Bondita had not even once come near him. Mashi gave him the medicines she already had with her, Thakuma did his embalming and Koeli served him fruits. He had more than once hoped that the next person would be Bondita at the threshold of the bedroom. He was worried that she blamed herself. She wasn't at fault. He was a bit rusty in the rustic ways now. He held the book under his arm and looked up at the visible part of the roof. 

He could suddenly see Bondita, who had just taken a bath, most probably after he had left the bedroom, with a cloth wrapped around her long wet hair, the crisp saree falling loosely over her body, putting her clothes up in the line on the roof. She hadn't noticed him observe her. Aniruddha leaned against the pillar and observed, in the hope to decipher her feelings from her face. She had freshly applied sindoor and bindi, it seemed. Prabhavati looked up at him standing there and her eyes followed his stare to the roof. Smiling, Prabhavati excused herself and walked up the stairs to her nephew. 

"Ahem." Aniruddha looked away the moment Prabhavati cleared her throat. 

"Are you looking for something?" Prabhavati smiled. "No." He shook his head sheepishly.

Prabhavati walked up to him and smiled, staring up at the roof where Bondita was now watering the potted plants. 

"She reminds me a lot of Didi." Aniruddha looked up at her words.

"How she holds the house together at this young age, takes care of everything, has a zeal for knowledge." Prabhavati smiled at him. Aniruddha nodded, smiling back.

"I heard everything from Jamai Babu. What happened in the past, and about Saudamini. And Bondita." Aniruddha was not sure where she was going with it. "You made the right choice. Didi would have loved her."

"Mashi… It's not like…" He shook his head and looked away. "It's complicated."

"Is it? Don't you love her?" Aniruddha looked up at her words. Love? "I … care for her future and …"

"You don't love her then?" Prabhavati raised her eyebrows.

"It's not that." He shook his head.

"So you do then?" She smiled. Aniruddha realised that Mashi had tricked him. He looked away and blushed slightly.

"See. It's not complicated. She loves you too." Aniruddha looked up at her words as Mashi smiled and patted his back and left. 

Aniruddha sat down on the easy chair on the balcony. She loves you too. His cheeks flushed. Every time he had stopped himself from thinking of this possibility so that he could have control over his own emotions. Hearing it from someone else was different. He shook his head. Mashi could be wrong. Couldn't she? What did Bondita know of love? She was a teenager. Right?

Bondita was practising her apology numerous times in her head. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was. It was silly of her to challenge him. Of course, he had stayed the last few years away from home. He wasn't used to it. She should have been more mature. Bondita paced the room with the book in her hand. She was so lost in thoughts that she didn't see Aniruddha walk in carrying a bunch of files. He stopped at the threshold consciously remembering Mashi's words. He frowned a little realising that even when the book was open, her mind was elsewhere. Aniruddha shook his head, walked up behind her and tapped her shoulder. Bondita jolted and turned. 

"What are you reading?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. 

"I… err… this…" she looked clueless as he shook his head, sitting down on the chair. "How many times have I told you to read aloud? Don't let your mind wander." He winced a little as his wound touched the wooden surface. Bondita rushed to him and kneeled on the floor in front of him. 

"Barrister Babu. I am so sorry." Her eyes teared up. "I am to be blamed for your injury." He looked up at her words, at her face, as a teardrop fell on her cheek. 

"Why are you crying?" He took the book from her hand and said "It wasn't your fault. I am in no pain really." He was about to hold her right hand into his left one when he noticed the bruises on the fingertip. 

"What happened here?" He asked. She snatched her palm from his hand and hid her injury. "Nothing. Just in the kitchen…" She looked away. Aniruddha looked up at her face concerned. Then he got up and made her sit on the chair. He walked to the side table where the turmeric balm was kept for him. He brought it to her. Taking her hand in his, he applied the balm as she looked up. "This is your balm. Thakuma made it for you. She will scold me." She looked unsure.

"She also says what's mine is yours, isn't it?" He asked with a reassuring smile before wiping the fallen teardrop off her cheek. 

"You have learnt so much, hasn't Jetha Moshai taught you to not cry like this?" He smiled. "I am fine. I will be in two days. You hurt yourself. You are unnecessarily blaming yourself. It's just an injury. Go back to studying, okay?" She looked up at his words and nodded.

"It's just that you care for me so much, I let you get hurt." She sobbed.

"Bondita." He shook his head. "Are you a fortune-teller that you'd know?" He asked. "I am sure if you knew you would never let me get into trouble."

"Never ever." She shook her head, making him smile. 

"Go back to studying. Aloud this time. " He closed the door and sat down on the edge of the bed.

The lights went off as soon as she sat down. 

" Load Shedding." She whispered, moving her hand in the darkness for the candle stand. 

"Here." Aniruddha found the match stick and he lit it to find Bondita holding the candle stand up. He lit the three candles. Her eyes sparkled in their light. Aniruddha couldn't help but stare. Did he like the way she cared? Of course, he did. Was he sure it was love? Maybe not. There are thin lines between care, respect, affection and love. He was unsure where they stood. But at that moment as Bondita's eyes met his, the candle standing in between, Aniruddha's heart skipped a beat. 

Bondita noticed him staring and tried to break the moment by looking away. She looked up again to find his eyes on hers. She gulped noiselessly. There was tension in the air that she could sense. The silence added to it. Yet there was no word she could find in her vocabulary for it. Aniruddha's hand travelled to hold the candle stand over hers. Only her little finger brushed against his index as she tried in vain to look away. Her eyes were fixated on him. She could smell his musk perfume again. The familiar smell brought back a memory. The vision of him in her inner eyes gave way to her present. Her cheeks flushed.  

"Dada." Batuk knocked, breaking the moment between them. "Do you have candles? I am scared."

Aniruddha placed the candle stand down on the writing desk and rushed to open the door, as Bondita heard Thakuma call out to her "Bouma. Bouma."

"Uff!" Aniruddha looked up a bit amused as she rushed to the needs of Sadhana Debi while he gave Batuk a spare candle. He shook his head and smiled. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed staring at the candles burning. A new kind of feeling burned in his heart. Aniruddha was scared. The more he tried to suppress it, the stronger the flames of that became, like a phoenix rising from ashes. He moistened his lips nervously. He needed to be careful. Nothing should come between Bondita and her future. Not even his feelings.

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