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Pain and Sorrow


Dur tak hai ek udasi
Aa gayi main kaha re
Atma tak kaapti hai
Koi na mera yaha re.

"Stop." The villagers stared at Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury frantically waving his hand as they looked at each other confused. He was not in mourning attire. What surprised them more was that Bondita accompanied him. She must have brought him here, they inferred. Bondita ran from his side to Sampoorna who was sitting on the ground in bridal attire, numb. 
"What do you think you are doing?" Aniruddha rebuked Munshi as he looked up. "How can you let her do the Sati?"
"That's what she should do. To ensure his partnership in the afterlife. And the next life." One of the older men spoke up, making him look perplexed. 
"What?" Aniruddha shook his head with a frown. "You think murdering someone will give them a passage to heaven?"
"I see you have been listening to some people a lot." One of the old men spoke. "You know what they say, if a man starts listening to a woman he is diverted off the path of Dharma."
"Is it so?" Aniruddha fumed. "Then did it apply to your mother too?"
"Aniruddha Babu. You are crossing your limits." The man fumed.
"Well, too late. I have crossed it already." Aniruddha spoke with his arms folded across his chest.

"Let me go with him, Aniruddha Babu." Sampoorna made Bondita and Aniruddha exchange a glance at each other as she sobbed.  "I was not able to be a good wife while he was alive. I couldn't be with him then. Let me be with him now." She looked inconsolable.
"No. Didi." Bondita shook her head. "Jamai Babu is gone. What you see here is a body. But what about his soul didi? Isn't he still with you?" Bondita wiped her tears and then Sampoorna's. "He would never want you to do this. Think about him. He will always be with you."
"What will I do living without him, Bondita?" Sampoorna wailed. "My life is purposeless. My identity is incomplete. I don't even have children to look forward to."
" She is right." Some of the villagers spoke. "A widow's life is worse than death. And she wants it. What's your problem?" They asked.
"I promised Debaditya I will look after his family." Aniruddha fumed. "And I will. Even if it means standing against all of you here, alone." The villagers were a little intimidated. After all, he was a Roy Chowdhury. 
"And I won't let my Didi go to the burning pyre alive. Bondita promises you that." Bondita stood up, behind Aniruddha and picked Sampoorna up by the shoulders, holding her firmly. 
"He left you a letter, Didi. Would he have done that if he wanted you to perform Sati?" Bondita sobbed "He would never want you to waste your precious life for him."
"He did?" Sampoorna looked up at her words. She nodded. "Don't you want to know what is in it?" Sampoorna hugged Bondita tight and cried inconsolably.
"You believe in God, right?" Aniruddha addressed the crowd. "Your god gives life. Who are you to take it away?" 

The villagers were alerted by footsteps as a few young men arrived at the crematorium. 
"Bondita?" One of them asked, "What is going on?"
"Dada they are trying to burn Sampoorna didi alive." She sobbed.
"Aniruddha Babu." Mahesh walked up to him. "He is our brother. Don't worry we won't let these people practice Sati here." Aniruddha noticed him take out his gun. "Even if it means by force."

The Panchayat heads were scared.
"We will… we will call the police. Get all of you arrested."
"My son died for you all."Munshi rebuked between his tears.
"No Kakababu." Mahesh shook his head. "He died for a cause. He died for his motherland. If we are lucky, someday we will too. You should be proud of him."
"And you can't call the police," Aniruddha spoke up. "Because you are trying to murder someone here yourselves."
The men looked worried. 
"We are letting her go," Munshi spoke with folded hands. "But please let me release my son. This pain is too much." He begged. 

The crema's wife was called. She washed the sindoor off Sampoorna's hairline and broke her bangles. Bondita stared at the broken pieces of glass and Shakha Pola on the ground and back at Sampoorna whose bindi was wiped off. While the men watched Munshi perform his son's last rights, the revolutionaries filled the air with slogans. "Vande Mataram." Their voices filled the air and gave chills down Bondita's spine. She looked up at the burning pyre as memories flooded her mind. Debaditya taught her the very first lessons in her life. He taught her that her dreams weren't stupid. He taught her about sacrifice and selflessness. He was like the brother Bondita never had. Now he was just ashes.

Aniruddha stood with hands folded as tears rolled down his cheeks. Most of his memories with Debaditya were from his childhood. When they were blissfully unaware of the barriers of house help and master relationship, their friendship blossomed in the purest forms. Debaditya taught him to skid rocks in the water. He taught him to use the catapult, climb a tree and escape punishments. Aniruddha smiled at the memories in between his tears. He looked around. Munshi stood helpless. He looked like he had aged overnight. The revolutionaries stood proud. Aniruddha looked back at Bondita staring at the pyre. 

He walked back to them making her look up. 
"Where will we take her?" Bondita asked a helpless question as her voice choked. "I am sure Munshi kaka won't take her home."
Aniruddha sat down on the ground in front of Bondita. He stared at her, wiping away the tears from her cheek.
"We will take her home." Bondita looked up at his words.
"But… Kakababu?" She asked unsurely. Aniruddha nodded reassuringly.

"What do you mean she will stay here?" Trilochan looked furious. "My house is not a Dharmashala." He shook his head. "Take her back to her in-laws or parents."
"Kaka she won't stay here permanently. Just for a few days until…" Bondita stopped at his stare. 
"I have given you enough freedom. That doesn't mean you misuse it." He snapped. "I am not keeping someone's widow at my place." He shook his head. "Then you will bring in more. Absolutely not."
"Why Jetha Moshai?" Aniruddha looked angry. "Do you also believe widows are inauspicious like everyone else?" 

"Aniruddha. I understand the world you saw outside is very different from this. But this is our world, our society, son. To thrive here we must follow some rules."
"Then why are these rules not followed by widowers?" It was Bondita who asked the question. "Why do women have to suffer under society's rules? Eat boiled food, wear white clothes, give away everything they hold dear." She stepped forward beside Aniruddha and questioned Trilochan. He shook his head. 
"I have grown up in this world, Kaka. I am yet to find the answers to my questions. When it comes to rituals, fasts, shyness, sufferings, or offerings it is the women who face it all in silence. From the Debdashis to the dancers at Heera Mandi, from the widows to the domestic abused ones, from dowry to Sati, why is it the woman who is always on the balance? Why does she have to suffer more and be happy with less?"
"I didn't make the rules, Bondita." Trilochan shook his head.
"But you sure do follow them. Why do you follow something blindly if you know it's wrong Kaka?"
"Enough now." Trilochan shook his head. "Alright. She can stay in one of the servant quarters. Not inside my house. Koeli?" He handed the keys over to the house help. Bondita wiped away her tears and smiled triumphantly. 
"You had gone to the crematorium. Both of you clean up and take a bath." Trilochan walked away. 

Aniruddha turned to Sampoorna reassuringly. "Koeli will take you to your room. If you need anything at all, let me know. Bondita will bring you the  letter tomorrow." He declared. Sampoorna folded her hands and sobbed. "I don't know how I will ever repay you, Aniruddha Babu."
"Please. Don't. All his life Debaditya has thought of others. This is the least I could do." He folded his hands and reassured Sampoorna. "You are safe here." He turned to Bondita. 
"Make sure she gets what we eat." She nodded. Koeli and Sampoorna exchanged an alarmed glance.
"No Bondita." Sampoorna shook her head. "I want to do all the rituals properly."
"Didi, does eating adequate and needed nutritions mean you mourn less?" Bondita asked "You are weak. You are emotional. You need…"
"Please, Bondita." Sampoorna wiped her tears. "Let me at least for these few days." Bondita stared back at Aniruddha who nodded. 
"Let her mourn the way she finds suitable." He said.
Bondita spoke almost in a whisper to Aniruddha. "I will go with her to see if she is settled well." Aniruddha nodded at her words.

The day went by almost in a trance for them. Bondita was quietly going about her work, occasionally she would send one of the house helps over to check on Sampoorna. She served lunch, did her chores and cooked, almost mechanically. 
"Let me do this today." Koeli insisted. "You go and rest Choto Malkin." She looked up with a faint smile.
"No Koeli Didi. I better be occupied."
Aniruddha sat in his room, door shut, hands on his forehead as the last conversation with Debaditya came floating in his memories. He sighed. He had skipped lunch but the feelings of hunger and thirst were still missing. They had to find a way for Sampoorna to live independently with respect in this village. He had to scrutinize all probable opportunities. He needed to assess them practically and ask Bondita for advice. She must have been thinking about the same too.

Binoy knocked on the door making Aniruddha look up as he peeped in.
"Are you alright?" He asked. Aniruddha nodded. 
"I wanted to speak to you about something."
"Baba I am not in the mood for…"
"No. Not now. But this is important. We need to talk." Aniruddha frowned at his words.
"If this is about Sampoorna again…"
"No. It is not. She can stay. I assure you." Binoy patted his back. "You are just like your mother. Always putting people before yourself." He walked away. Aniruddha watched him leave.

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