Skip to main content

Pain and Sorrow


Dur tak hai ek udasi
Aa gayi main kaha re
Atma tak kaapti hai
Koi na mera yaha re.

"Stop." The villagers stared at Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury frantically waving his hand as they looked at each other confused. He was not in mourning attire. What surprised them more was that Bondita accompanied him. She must have brought him here, they inferred. Bondita ran from his side to Sampoorna who was sitting on the ground in bridal attire, numb. 
"What do you think you are doing?" Aniruddha rebuked Munshi as he looked up. "How can you let her do the Sati?"
"That's what she should do. To ensure his partnership in the afterlife. And the next life." One of the older men spoke up, making him look perplexed. 
"What?" Aniruddha shook his head with a frown. "You think murdering someone will give them a passage to heaven?"
"I see you have been listening to some people a lot." One of the old men spoke. "You know what they say, if a man starts listening to a woman he is diverted off the path of Dharma."
"Is it so?" Aniruddha fumed. "Then did it apply to your mother too?"
"Aniruddha Babu. You are crossing your limits." The man fumed.
"Well, too late. I have crossed it already." Aniruddha spoke with his arms folded across his chest.

"Let me go with him, Aniruddha Babu." Sampoorna made Bondita and Aniruddha exchange a glance at each other as she sobbed.  "I was not able to be a good wife while he was alive. I couldn't be with him then. Let me be with him now." She looked inconsolable.
"No. Didi." Bondita shook her head. "Jamai Babu is gone. What you see here is a body. But what about his soul didi? Isn't he still with you?" Bondita wiped her tears and then Sampoorna's. "He would never want you to do this. Think about him. He will always be with you."
"What will I do living without him, Bondita?" Sampoorna wailed. "My life is purposeless. My identity is incomplete. I don't even have children to look forward to."
" She is right." Some of the villagers spoke. "A widow's life is worse than death. And she wants it. What's your problem?" They asked.
"I promised Debaditya I will look after his family." Aniruddha fumed. "And I will. Even if it means standing against all of you here, alone." The villagers were a little intimidated. After all, he was a Roy Chowdhury. 
"And I won't let my Didi go to the burning pyre alive. Bondita promises you that." Bondita stood up, behind Aniruddha and picked Sampoorna up by the shoulders, holding her firmly. 
"He left you a letter, Didi. Would he have done that if he wanted you to perform Sati?" Bondita sobbed "He would never want you to waste your precious life for him."
"He did?" Sampoorna looked up at her words. She nodded. "Don't you want to know what is in it?" Sampoorna hugged Bondita tight and cried inconsolably.
"You believe in God, right?" Aniruddha addressed the crowd. "Your god gives life. Who are you to take it away?" 

The villagers were alerted by footsteps as a few young men arrived at the crematorium. 
"Bondita?" One of them asked, "What is going on?"
"Dada they are trying to burn Sampoorna didi alive." She sobbed.
"Aniruddha Babu." Mahesh walked up to him. "He is our brother. Don't worry we won't let these people practice Sati here." Aniruddha noticed him take out his gun. "Even if it means by force."

The Panchayat heads were scared.
"We will… we will call the police. Get all of you arrested."
"My son died for you all."Munshi rebuked between his tears.
"No Kakababu." Mahesh shook his head. "He died for a cause. He died for his motherland. If we are lucky, someday we will too. You should be proud of him."
"And you can't call the police," Aniruddha spoke up. "Because you are trying to murder someone here yourselves."
The men looked worried. 
"We are letting her go," Munshi spoke with folded hands. "But please let me release my son. This pain is too much." He begged. 

The crema's wife was called. She washed the sindoor off Sampoorna's hairline and broke her bangles. Bondita stared at the broken pieces of glass and Shakha Pola on the ground and back at Sampoorna whose bindi was wiped off. While the men watched Munshi perform his son's last rights, the revolutionaries filled the air with slogans. "Vande Mataram." Their voices filled the air and gave chills down Bondita's spine. She looked up at the burning pyre as memories flooded her mind. Debaditya taught her the very first lessons in her life. He taught her that her dreams weren't stupid. He taught her about sacrifice and selflessness. He was like the brother Bondita never had. Now he was just ashes.

Aniruddha stood with hands folded as tears rolled down his cheeks. Most of his memories with Debaditya were from his childhood. When they were blissfully unaware of the barriers of house help and master relationship, their friendship blossomed in the purest forms. Debaditya taught him to skid rocks in the water. He taught him to use the catapult, climb a tree and escape punishments. Aniruddha smiled at the memories in between his tears. He looked around. Munshi stood helpless. He looked like he had aged overnight. The revolutionaries stood proud. Aniruddha looked back at Bondita staring at the pyre. 

He walked back to them making her look up. 
"Where will we take her?" Bondita asked a helpless question as her voice choked. "I am sure Munshi kaka won't take her home."
Aniruddha sat down on the ground in front of Bondita. He stared at her, wiping away the tears from her cheek.
"We will take her home." Bondita looked up at his words.
"But… Kakababu?" She asked unsurely. Aniruddha nodded reassuringly.

"What do you mean she will stay here?" Trilochan looked furious. "My house is not a Dharmashala." He shook his head. "Take her back to her in-laws or parents."
"Kaka she won't stay here permanently. Just for a few days until…" Bondita stopped at his stare. 
"I have given you enough freedom. That doesn't mean you misuse it." He snapped. "I am not keeping someone's widow at my place." He shook his head. "Then you will bring in more. Absolutely not."
"Why Jetha Moshai?" Aniruddha looked angry. "Do you also believe widows are inauspicious like everyone else?" 

"Aniruddha. I understand the world you saw outside is very different from this. But this is our world, our society, son. To thrive here we must follow some rules."
"Then why are these rules not followed by widowers?" It was Bondita who asked the question. "Why do women have to suffer under society's rules? Eat boiled food, wear white clothes, give away everything they hold dear." She stepped forward beside Aniruddha and questioned Trilochan. He shook his head. 
"I have grown up in this world, Kaka. I am yet to find the answers to my questions. When it comes to rituals, fasts, shyness, sufferings, or offerings it is the women who face it all in silence. From the Debdashis to the dancers at Heera Mandi, from the widows to the domestic abused ones, from dowry to Sati, why is it the woman who is always on the balance? Why does she have to suffer more and be happy with less?"
"I didn't make the rules, Bondita." Trilochan shook his head.
"But you sure do follow them. Why do you follow something blindly if you know it's wrong Kaka?"
"Enough now." Trilochan shook his head. "Alright. She can stay in one of the servant quarters. Not inside my house. Koeli?" He handed the keys over to the house help. Bondita wiped away her tears and smiled triumphantly. 
"You had gone to the crematorium. Both of you clean up and take a bath." Trilochan walked away. 

Aniruddha turned to Sampoorna reassuringly. "Koeli will take you to your room. If you need anything at all, let me know. Bondita will bring you the  letter tomorrow." He declared. Sampoorna folded her hands and sobbed. "I don't know how I will ever repay you, Aniruddha Babu."
"Please. Don't. All his life Debaditya has thought of others. This is the least I could do." He folded his hands and reassured Sampoorna. "You are safe here." He turned to Bondita. 
"Make sure she gets what we eat." She nodded. Koeli and Sampoorna exchanged an alarmed glance.
"No Bondita." Sampoorna shook her head. "I want to do all the rituals properly."
"Didi, does eating adequate and needed nutritions mean you mourn less?" Bondita asked "You are weak. You are emotional. You need…"
"Please, Bondita." Sampoorna wiped her tears. "Let me at least for these few days." Bondita stared back at Aniruddha who nodded. 
"Let her mourn the way she finds suitable." He said.
Bondita spoke almost in a whisper to Aniruddha. "I will go with her to see if she is settled well." Aniruddha nodded at her words.

The day went by almost in a trance for them. Bondita was quietly going about her work, occasionally she would send one of the house helps over to check on Sampoorna. She served lunch, did her chores and cooked, almost mechanically. 
"Let me do this today." Koeli insisted. "You go and rest Choto Malkin." She looked up with a faint smile.
"No Koeli Didi. I better be occupied."
Aniruddha sat in his room, door shut, hands on his forehead as the last conversation with Debaditya came floating in his memories. He sighed. He had skipped lunch but the feelings of hunger and thirst were still missing. They had to find a way for Sampoorna to live independently with respect in this village. He had to scrutinize all probable opportunities. He needed to assess them practically and ask Bondita for advice. She must have been thinking about the same too.

Binoy knocked on the door making Aniruddha look up as he peeped in.
"Are you alright?" He asked. Aniruddha nodded. 
"I wanted to speak to you about something."
"Baba I am not in the mood for…"
"No. Not now. But this is important. We need to talk." Aniruddha frowned at his words.
"If this is about Sampoorna again…"
"No. It is not. She can stay. I assure you." Binoy patted his back. "You are just like your mother. Always putting people before yourself." He walked away. Aniruddha watched him leave.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Protisruti

  প্রতিশ্রুতি  বন্দিতা মা কে জড়িয়ে ধরে যেন প্রাণ ফিরে পায়।  “ভাল আছিস?” জিগেস করে সুমতি। বন্দিতা হঠাৎ খেয়াল করে আগের মতো তার মুখ দেখেই তার মা আর তার মনের অবস্থা বুঝতে পারেন না। তার সাথে হঠাৎ মনে পরে কত অনায়াসে অনিরুদ্ধ বোঝে যে তার মন খারাপ। একবার জিজ্ঞেস করেছিল সে স্বামীকে, কি করে তিনি বোঝেন তার মন খারাপ। ছোট বন্দিতাকে তার মতন করে বুঝিয়েছিলেন তার স্বামী। আজ বন্দিতা বড় হয়েছে কিন্তু সেই প্রশ্ন সে আর করতে পারেনা। বন্দিতাকে খাটিয়ার উপর বসিয়ে এর মধ্যেই সুমতি যায় তার জন্য মুড়ি মুড়কি আনতে। বন্দিতার চোখ পরে পায়ের নূপুরের উপর। তিনি বলেছিলেন “তুমি খুশি হলে তোমার নূপুরের আওয়াজ অন্যরকম হয়, আর তোমার মন খারাপ হলে অন্যরকম।” বন্দিতা নূপুরটা বাজিয়ে দেখেছিল সেদিন। আজকে সে জানে পার্থক্য তার নূপুরের শব্দে নয়, অনিরুদ্ধের পর্যবেক্ষণ শক্তিতে। আবার কেন তার কথা ভাবছে সে? বাড়ি এসেছে মায়ের কাছে। আর ভাববে না সে, হয়তো দু তিন দিন পর ত্রিলোচনবাবু পাঠাবেন বিহারী কে বন্দিতাকে বাড়ি নিয়ে যেতে, ততদিন মায়ের কাছে একটু শান্তিতে থাকুক না সে।  দুপুরে আম দুধ দিয়ে ভাত দেয় তাকে সুমতি। “তোর প্রিয় খাবার দেখ, মাম...

Answers

Aniruddha could not work all day. It started raining heavily outside, the curtains of the room swayed in the gusty wind, and things around the room toppled over. Koeli came to pick them up, to see if he wanted to eat anything but Aniruddha wanted to be left alone. Countless questions and fears raced through his mind. Bondita never went home like she did that day. Rather, once a year, even before Jamai Sasti, she checked the household chores a hundred times. If Batuk had a test, if someone was sick, she was reluctant to go. She just packed a bundle so quickly and left for her mother’s place. Had she distanced herself from Aniruddha? Was it his fault? Anirudha started thinking. Could she not take him as a husband because he pushed her away and hurt her? Aniruddha repented for his actions. If indeed Bondita denied their relationship knowing the truth behind it, could she be blamed? But was that why she was pretending to be asleep even though she was awake that night? What did she think ab...

Promises

Bondita hugged her mother as if to find herself again.  "Are you okay?" Sumati smiled. Bondita suddenly noticed that her mother couldn't understand her state of mind just by looking at her face anymore. With that, she suddenly remembered how easily Aniruddha understood that she was upset. Once she asked her husband how he understood things without her saying it. Her husband explained to little Bondita in a way she would understand. Now that Bondita was grown up she could perhaps never ask him that question again. Meanwhile, Sumati hurried to get her some Muri Murki while she sat down on the bed. Bondita's eyes fell on her feet. He had said, "When you are happy, your anklet sounds different, and when you are sad, it is different." Bondita stirred her anklets unmindfully. Today she knew the difference was not in the sound of her Nupur but in Aniruddha's powers of observation. Why was she thinking about him? She came home to her mother. And she would not th...

Choices

The winter rains and gusty wind were unpleasant weather for Adhiraja Ishaan Dev. The Suryapalian capital was far more tropical weather of the plain lands than that of Neelambargarh, situated on a plateau rather close to the Heemdevi. It rained more in Neelambargarh, and the winters were cold. The wine did very little to comfort him as he kept the lamps of his chamber lit in an attempt to feel warmer. On the contrary, he observed how Priyambada complained that the winter isn't cold enough. It had been a quarter of the moon cycle since Maharani Priyambada met Kumari Advika of Mait. Although Ishaan Dev was eager to know what the ladies did talk about, he wasn’t sure whether to ask Priyambada. So he waited for her to tell him something, anything! But Priyambada seemed to act like the meeting never happened. She didn’t even disclose anything to Smriti as per Kumar Viraj. Ishaan Dev was perplexed. What was talked of in the meeting? Worse, did Advika mention him? She must have. The last t...

Going Home

Bondita's Mama came to Tulsipur to meet his daughter. He was a poor man and wore a short dhoti and a Batik shirt. It was wrong to come empty-handed to the daughter's house, so two pots of sweets accompanied him. Reluctantly, he had to go to Roy Chowdhury's house. They were the Zamindar of Tulsipur, the master of the father-in-law of Sampoorna, they needed to be respected. Apart from that, the fate of the sister and niece who he was reluctant to shelter and spent day and night rebuking them about had turned, the same sister now handed over some money to him by the end of the month, because of the kindness of Aniruddha Babu. He did not have the luxury of pushing Lakshmi away. Hence it was necessary to come to the landlord's house to meet his niece. In their house servants also dressed better than him; Look at the fate of the girl . Where he had arranged for her to stay in a corner of an old man's house, now Bondita was living a queen’s life.  Zamindar Trilochan Roy Ch...

Uttor

  উত্তর   সারাদিন কাজে মন বসেনা অনিরুদ্ধর। বাইরে অঝোরে বৃষ্টি হতে থাকে, ঝোড়োও হওয়ায় ঘরের পর্দা দোলে , জিনিসপত্র এলোমেলো হয়ে যায়। কয়েলি আসে ছোট মালিকের জিনিস গুছিয়ে দিতে, তিনি কিছু খাবেন কিনা শুধোতে কিন্তু তাকে চলে যেতে বলে ঘরে খিল দেয় অনিরুদ্ধ। একা থাকতে চায়। তার মনে আনাগোনা করে অসংখ প্রশ্ন এবং আশংকা। যে ভাবে বন্দিতা স্বেচ্ছায় মায়ের কাছে গেল আজ, সেরকম সে কোনদিন যায়না । বরং বছরে একবার জামাই ষষ্টিতে যাওয়ার আগেও একশো বার বাড়ির কাজকম্ম দেখে শুনে যায়। বটুকের পরীক্ষা, কারুর শরীর খারাপ হলে তো কথাই নেই। সেই বন্দিতা আজ হঠাৎ বাড়ি যাবে বলে কি তাড়াতাড়ি পোটলা গুছিয়েছে। এতই কি দূরে চলে গেছে সে অনিরুদ্ধের থেকে? তা কি তার নিজের দোষে? ভাবতে থাকে অনিরুদ্ধ। সে দূরে সরিয়ে দিয়েছে বলে অভিমান না কি তাকে স্বামী রূপে গ্রহণ করতে পারেনা বন্দিতা? অনিরুদ্ধ পশ্চাতাপ করে। সত্যি যদি বন্দিতা সব জেনে তাদের সম্পর্ক অস্বীকার করে, তাকে কি দোষ দেওয়া চলে? তবে কি তাই সেদিন রাত্রে জেগে থাকা সত্যেও ঘুমের অভিনয় করছিল সে? কি ভেবেছে সে অনিরুদ্ধের ব্যাপারে? কেন চারিদিক বাছবিচার না করে এমন করল অনিরুদ্ধ? নিজের প্রতিজ্ঞ...

Adornment

The rainy night had given way to a rather pleasant summer morning in Suryapali. The temperature was no longer soaring and a gentle breeze blew through the plains of Suryapali. The sun peeped out through the floating clouds occasionally. Priyambada walked into her chambers after a luncheon to find trays laid with drapes and jewellery, waiting for her. “The Maharani sent this for some celebration in the evening,” Vrinda spoke, bowing at her mistress who nodded silently. Priyambada eyed the trays and exhaled. She wasn’t sure if anyone talked to Ishaan Dev about the rituals. She dismissed Vrinda and decided to read the scripture. As Priyambada sat down on the edge of the bed, scripture in hand, her thoughts travelled to the happenings of the night and she inhaled as her throat felt dry. Why did he stop? Did he feel that he had offended her? Priyambada wondered. She walked up to the attire laid down for the evening and picked up the drape wrapped into a bodice and wrap-around skirt. They w...

Ghore Fera

  ঘরে ফেরা   বন্দিতার মামা মেয়ের সাথে দেখা করতে আসেন তুলশিপুর। গরিবের ঘরের ছা পোষা চেহারা তার, পরনে খাটো ধুতি ও ছিটের জামা। মেয়ের শশুরবাড়িতে খালি হাতে আসা অন্যায় তাই দুটি মিষ্টির হাড়ি সাথে। অনিচ্ছা সত্তেও রায় চৌধুরী বাড়িতে যেতে হয় তাকে। তারা তুলশিপুরের জমিদার, সম্পূর্ণার শ্বশুরের মনিব, তাদের সম্মান করে চলা মঙ্গল। তা ছাড়া যে বোন  ও বোনঝিকে আশ্রয় দেওয়া নিয়ে দিনরাত কথা শোনাতে বাঁধতো না তার, সেই বোন  এখন মাস গেলে তার হাতে টাকা তুলে দেয়, অনিরুদ্ধ বাবুর দয়ায়। হাতে আসা লক্ষ্মী পায়ে ঠেলার বিলাসিতা করার মত মুরোদ নয় তার। অগত্যা বোনঝির সাথে দেখা করতে জমিদার বাড়ি আসা। এদের বাড়ির চাকররাও  তার থেকে ভাল পোশাক পরে; ভাগ্য দেখো মেয়েটার। কোথায় কোন বুড়োর বাড়ির এক কোণে পরে থাকার ব্যবস্থা করেছিল সে, এখন বন্দিতা রাজরানী।  জমিদার ত্রিলোচন রায় চৌধুরীর যাকে পছন্দ নয় তাকে তিনি সেটা বুঝিয়ে দিতে দ্বিধা বোধ করেন না। বন্দিতার মামা তার তেমন এক অপছন্দের পাত্র । বৌমার মুখে তিনি যা  শুনেছেন তারপর বৌমার তাদের প্রতি টান দেখে আশ্চর্য হন ত্রিলোচন বাবু। কিন্তু কুটুম্ব তারা। হাতে কর...

Trust

Ishaan Dev woke up at the sound of the hourly bells and trumpets and found himself alone in bed. It took him some time to realise that he had perhaps overslept as he looked confused, half asleep first at the hourglass and then at the sun rays coming into the chambers through the swaying curtains. He sat up to suddenly remember the happenings of the night, as his eyes travelled to the blood stain on the sheet and he sat in contemplation for a good few minutes. He finally had his moment with Priyambada and it was nothing like he had imagined it to be. A part of him that yearned to touch her and taste her was satisfied enough to realise that his longing for her was not only physical. When bodies entwined in the union, and he had pushed himself in, as he had with a hundred other women before her, something in him felt a different sense of completeness and fulfilment that he realised was missing from his life. He had seen Priyambada react to the sensations that were completely new to her, m...

Gratefulness

Aniruddha did not return home that night, he informed on the telephone that he was stuck in urgent work so he would return home the next day after spending the night at the client's house. Bondita spent a sleepless night. What would she tell Barrister Babu? And why would he believe it? She was lost in her thoughts twisting and turning in bed all night. She was hurt. Was her husband so reluctant towards their relationship that he did not wish to return home because of her? Once he was busy with some work and was pacing in the study room. Bondita was a child. Her Jetha Shoshur Moshai had taught her to serve her husband. She used to see Bihari take a cup of tea to the study room every day. Despite Bihari's resistance, she picked up the cup of tea that day.  "Don't do this, Ginnima ," Bihari was terrified. “Barrister Babu does not like to talk or be disturbed during his work. If he gets angry, I will lose my job.” Bondita ignored his words and entered the study room w...