Knotted

Ek mauka de mujhe tu

Apni galti sudhaaru

Aa kahin se chule haath mera.

Bondita looked out of her window to see the ladies of the village preparing for the morning rituals of her cousin's wedding. The blushing bride sat in the middle of it, in a yellow saree, as one of the married women put the Shakhapola in her hands. She blushed as the ladies teased her. Bondita's eyes fell almost into a reflection of her mother sitting in a corner with her beads and praying. She remembered when such signs of a married woman were on this woman too. Bondita couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different had her father been alive. She sighed. As she approached the door a little eagerly, Sumati opened her eyes and called out to her.

"Bondita." She frowned. "I told you not to go out, didn't I?" She reminded her daughter. "And what have you done to yourself? Braid your hair, and brush it properly. It looks like a mess. Wear some kajal under your eyes." Bondita looked up at her own reflection in the small mirror of the hut at this. She hadn't cared to dry her hair or brush it since the morning. She had hurried back from the pond and was dragged into the room by her mother. She wore one of her mother's old and shabby sarees. She didn't care to use the Kajal. She wasn't stepping out of the room anyway.

"Don't look at her like that." Sumati reminded her.

"Like what?" Bondita frowned.

"They'd say your evil stares will harm her."

"Nothing like that happens Maa." Bondita shook her head. "If only these people understood there is more to a woman's life than just…" Sumati stopped her by putting her hand on Bondita's mouth, alerted. "Don't talk like that."

"But Mitra babu, please show me some mercy." Bondita overheard her Kaka outside the window begging an older-looking man. "I am trying my best. This is beyond my abilities." 

"Who is that?" Bondita frowned.

"That's the groom's Mama. He has come with the Gaye Holud." Sumati spoke. 

"Why is Kaka begging him then?" Bondita asked.

"Must be dowry," Sumati spoke nonchalantly. "I heard they have been very demanding." 

Sumati stopped at the sound of the door of the hut opening. Alert, she called after her daughter.

"Bondita. Bondita, don't go there. Come back here." She called in vain.

Bondita had kept her comb down and walked outside the threshold in her half-done hair, wrinkled shabby clothes, a pair of glass bangles on her hand, and the faded kajal from the previous day. She glared at the men talking and shaking their heads with slight smirks, as her Kaka was almost moved to tears. Before Kaki and Pishima could make a move to stop her, all eyes were on her as she reached the men. 

"He is giving you his most precious daughter, isn't that enough for you?" Her words made the men look at her a little taken aback, her Kaka stood spellbound and the ladies gasped. Sumati rushed out, pulling her saree over her head, and walked across to Bondita.

"What are you doing?" She snapped. "Let's go inside." Bondita freed the hand Sumati took.

"How can you measure the value of your Grihalaxmi in money and kind? Is she some good you are buying and selling?"

"Someone stop this girl." Pishima cursed under her breath.

"Who are you?" The older man frowned. "And how do you shamelessly come in between men, show your face and raise your voice like that?" The man rebuked. "Have your parents not taught you anything?"

"I am Bondita Das and I was always taught to protest against wrong." She spoke firmly.

"Forgive her Mitra Babu." Her uncle said, "She has lost her sanity after her husband abandoned her." Another gasp went around the courtyard.

"Her husband abandoned her?" 

"Sumati's daughter is mad?"

"I didn't know this."

"She shouldn't be here."

Pishima pointed at Kaki who walked up to her holding her wrist firmly. 

"Go inside the room right now." She said, 

Bondita shook her head. "Neither am I mad nor did anyone abandon me. I left." People stared at each other in shock. "But what you are doing here is wrong. You should not give away your daughter into a house where her only value is from the things you can afford to give them. Even if it means that they call off the wedding…" a slap resounded across her face. Scared, her kaki couldn't help herself stop Bondita. She couldn't afford her daughter to be left at the altar.

"You have successfully ruined your home and now you are eyeing my daughter's happiness?" Kaki pushed an already shocked Bondita away. 

Aniruddha was at the threshold of a very ordinary hut, the courtyard of which looked crowded. His eyes scanned the crowd. His heart raced in anticipation. All the way here he had imagined what it would be like to meet her, talk to her, convince her. Then his eyes fell on the centre of attention as he heard her speak "Even if it means that they call off the wedding…" 

Aniruddha's void and worries suddenly disappeared at the sight of her. As much as her appearance and the words of those around her disturbed him, he was proud that she stood there, alone, against the world. He was proud that no matter what life threw at her, Bondita wouldn't give in to wrong. And a pang of sudden guilt hit him that she was alone in it all.

Bondita stumbled a little from the push and was about to hit the floor when she felt a familiar pair of arms around her, stopping her from hitting the ground. She looked up at Aniruddha who looked away from her face at the crowd, angrily.

"Who dared to touch the daughter-in-law of my house?" Trilochan spoke as Bondita stood up. "If you disrespect her, you are calling for enmity with Roy Chowdhury." Binoy walked up behind him and Bondita felt Aniruddha's arms leave hers. 

"Are you alright?" Batuk asked as she looked up at him and Somnath and nodded.

"Forgive me, Jomidar Babu." Kaki looked intimidated as she folded her hands. "I was just saving my daughter from being left at the altar."

"It's better than dying for dowry." Aniruddha glanced over his shoulder as Bondita snapped.

"How can you give in to such…"

"Shut up." Sumati scolded her. Bondita looked surprised as she opened her mouth to speak again. "Shut up Bondita. I swear the next time you speak up here, it will be over my dead body."

"Maa." She looked perplexed.

"This isn't your moral class Bondita. This is reality. This is society. We live in it. We can't do whatever we feel like." Sumati looked disappointed. Bondita tightened her jaws and looked away. Sumati walked over to Trilochan and Binoy and folded her hands.

"I am sorry she left. She didn't tell me anything at all. Ever since she came here she is busy trying to change other people's opinions." Aniruddha looked up at her words. Bondita inhaled. 

Trilochan shook his head.

"No, no Didi, there has been some misunderstanding. But that's over now. We are here to take her back home with us." Sumati looked hopeful at his words as Binoy smiled. Aniruddha lowered his eyes down a little awkwardly with the entire village scrutinizing him. Bondita looked up and frowned. 

Trilochan walked up to face Bondita as she looked up at him with questioning eyes. "I apologize that I didn't tell you the entire truth. I know you were hurt. But I never expected you'd leave like that." He shook his head. Bondita's eyes teared up as he folded his hands in front of her. "Forgive me?" The villagers stared at each other. Never had they seen such a sight. 

Aniruddha looked up at them as she held Trilochan's hands in her own and shook her head. "No Kakababu. What are you doing?" She wiped his tears away and held her own ears with her hands. "I didn't ever want to hurt you. I didn't know I caused you pain. I am sorry."

"Come home, my child." Trilochan placed his hand over her head. "The house is a mess without you." Her eyes travelled to Aniruddha's stare as he looked away.

"Pardon us, Zamindar Babu." Pishima spoke as everyone looked up at her. "We can't send our daughter with you." Aniruddha narrowed his eyes at the lady's words.

"But Didi…" Sumati was about to speak up when Pishima stopped her with a hand gesture as she walked up to the Roy Chowdhury men. She eyed Aniruddha who looked away.

"When our daughter came here, she was neither wearing sindoor nor was she married. She keeps saying she is Bondita Das. Then how did she become your daughter-in-law? With what relationship are you claiming to take her home? This is her home. These are her people." 

The villagers agreed. "Yes indeed. They can throw her out any day." "If they don't have a relationship how can she live there?" "Yes, we didn't see her wearing sindoor." "These rich people keep poor ones as mistresses." Aniruddha looked up at the last words and a chill ran down his spine. He was about to approach the man when Som held back his hands. He stopped. 

"But they have been married seven years ago," Trilochan spoke. "That is why her mother left her with us."

"Yes, indeed she did." Pishima spoke "But she did so with the hope that your nephew will return home and she would start living a normal married life. That didn't happen. You didn't keep your word."

The villagers were abuzz with support. Aniruddha's throat dried. What was happening?

"Alright. I have a solution." Binoy raised his hands to silence the crowd. "Let them be married with all the rituals that are good enough to satisfy everyone here and then we can take her home. We can wait a day here. What do you suggest Dada?"

"Sure why not. If that is okay with the Das family." Pishima nodded. "Let's prepare for a wedding tomorrow then. Sumati, take your daughter inside and make sure she doesn't come and disturb any of the rituals with her moral policing." She glared at Bondita who looked helpless. "And we will arrange for the Roy Chowdhury family to stay at Sen Babu's house. His house has electricity." Sen Babu nodded at her words. 

"Come on girls. Continue the Gaye Holud ceremony." Kaki smiled. 

Aniruddha looked at the men discussing dowry. His jaws tightened. He was about to speak up when Trilochan walked up to him. 

"We are here for Bondita. Focus on that. Arguing with her family won't help your cause now." He warned.

"But Jetha Moshai?" 

"Do you want Bondita to study or not?" Trilochan warned him. He inhaled and looked away. 

Bondita's Kaka folded his hands as the Mitras accepted the last decided dowry as final. Sumati held Bondita's hand and dragged her away. She turned back to look at Batuk waving to her as Sen Babu led them to his house.

Bondita stared at the new sarees and jewellery Trilochan sent that evening. The Ulu Dhwani and conch shells outside haunted her with the nightmares of dowry. She stared up at the faces of the happy people. Would her cousin be happy? Her attention was drawn away by the women who were trying the jewellery around her neck and keeping the sarees across her chest to see if they suited her.

"For a family with only men, the Roy Chowdhurys have quite a choice for women's things." Pishima smiled. Sumati looked happy. For the first time in the last three days, Bondita looked at her mother and saw the relief on her face. She sighed. Isn't this what she wanted? To be accepted? Then why wasn't she happy? 

"The wedding is done." Someone spoke outside. Bondita sighed. She couldn't get it off her chest. She had failed. It was rare but she did. She inhaled.

Aniruddha paced the room he shared with Somnath and Batuk.

"What's wrong Dada?" Somnath asked. "aren't you happy?"

"Huh?" Aniruddha looked lost in his thoughts. "Som, did they really marry the girl off with such dowry demands?" Somnath shook his head at his question.

" Dada, you are still thinking about that? It's more common here than you think."

"I am happy and excited that Bondita will go home with us tomorrow." Batuk smiled.

"You are just happy you will get to eat good food for the wedding. And now start calling her Boudi." Batuk frowned at Somnath's words. 

"Why will I? She is Bondita. She is younger than me by months."

"Yes, but Dada is the eldest. So she is too." Somnath nodded.

"Then you also call her Boudi? But she calls you Dada." Batuk looked confused.

"She is boudi to both of you." Binoy entered with a smile. "Dada just went over to give her your mother's bangles. From now on nobody will call her by her name. She is either boudi or Boro Bou." Binoy patted Aniruddha's back and looked back at his children. "He's still thinking about the dowry thing, is he?" Binoy shook his head. "Aniruddha. My son." He made his firstborn look at him as he smiled. "This happens once in a lifetime. Enjoy every moment of it. For once, stop thinking of others first." He smiled reassuringly. Aniruddha nodded. Something told him he was not the only one who couldn't get it off his mind.

Kaki walked into the room in a hurry, carrying a chair along and declared "Bondita, your Kaka Sashur is here to see you." The girls left the room one by one as Pishima and Sumati remained in the room. Bondita got up from the floor and stood amidst the mess of new sarees and opened boxes as Trilochan walked in with Bihari.

"I sent for these things from Tulsipur in the morning." Bondita looked up as Bihari smiled at her. 

"We came as soon as we could."

"Koeli will stay here and help you people out," Trilochan spoke. "She will be with Bondita." He smiled as Pishima welcomed him. 

"Here are the things you will need for the morning." He extended a covered plate towards Pishima who took it. Removing the cover she smiled at the sight of the Sindoor Kouto, Shakha Pola, and Loha Bangles, coated with gold and silver toe rings. Bondita looked up at them. Pishima then walked away to bring some food and beverages for Trilochan. He took out a box from his pocket and removed the lid. In it was a pair of Navratna bangles. Bondita's eyes travelled from his hands to his happy face. 

"These belonged to Aniruddha's mother." He said, eyes glistening. "I have been waiting for so long to give them to their rightful owner." He extended the bangles to Bondita. She looked away circling the end of her saree with her fingers. 

"Kakababu… can we talk alone?" She asked, making him frown. He dispersed Bihari and Sumati walked away behind him to show Koeli around the house, as they were alone in the room.

"What is it?" He asked. "What is bothering you?"

"Kakababu… I didn't leave because you lied." She sat down on the floor at his feet. "I left because I felt I had no right to stay there. I thought I was like your daughter."

"You are." He nodded. "And now you are more than that…" he reassured her.

"You should ask Barrister Babu what he wants." Bondita looked a little awkward. "I mean I know you all are worried about my future. My education. He is too. But… Does he… will he…" she stopped as Trilochan smiled. He pushed the bangles into her palm.

"Let's just say, we came here because your Barrister Babu wanted to." She looked up at his words as colour flushed from her warm cheeks and her eyes widened a bit. "The rest you can ask him. I will not interfere between you two." He placed his hand gently on her head. "You overthink a lot, Bondita." 

Pishima came in with food and Trilochan helped himself. He then urged Pishima to put the bangles on Bondita's empty wrists. 

"I can't wait for tomorrow." Trilochan smiled. " All my dreams are coming true."

"But Dada." Som frowned. "Can't this wait?" He asked "You know how Jethamoshai is with rituals. He will not allow you to meet her before the…"

"I am not going to. I just want to … " He shook his head and looked at Batuk. "Help me, will you?"

He nodded. 

Bondita was sitting on the back side of her house, overlooking a filthy pond. The crickets sang in the bushes and the bamboo made a sound like a child was crying, as the wind whistled around the branches. Footsteps alerted her as she looked up to find Batuk there. 

"How did you come here?" She asked with a frown "This is a village, Batuk. You can get lost… there are snakes… there are…"

"Hush." Batuk snapped. "You start talking at every chance. Bondita. Boudi?" He thought to himself. "No. Bondita till I can call you that." He inferred as she shook her head at him, annoyed. "What are you mumbling?"

"Stay put here."

"Why?" She frowned as he walked away. "Batuk? Come back here."

" I will keep an eye on the road. Be quick." Som nodded as Batuk came back. Aniruddha looked at the brothers' amused faces but right now he needed them. 

Bondita threw a piece of stone into the water covered in weeds. It disappeared into the darkness. 

"Ahem." He cleared his throat, making her stop picking another one. Her back was to him, she didn't move. 

"I wanted to … apologize." His words made her frown. "I should have spoken out about the dowry…"

"Doesn't help. It's a lost cause." Her voice seemed monotonous.

"You know you did the right thing. Right?" He asked, looking up at her silhouette in the darkness. She shook her head.

"What's the use? I failed." 

"No Bondita." He stepped towards her and stopped carefully. "You didn't quite fail. Sometimes things don't work out as we want. But they do eventually. Someday someone will get that it's wrong and we are right.``

"I am not giving up. If you are asking that…" she shook her head. "You shouldn't be here. Someone might see you." 

Aniruddha inhaled, satisfied with her words.

"I was worried it is bothering you as much as it is bothering me." He spoke. "I just wanted to make sure you believe in yourself."

"It is bothering me. But I do believe in myself. Am not giving up that easily, and I know you wouldn't too. So thank you for the piece of advice.`` She said without turning. "You always know what to say."

"Well not always…" he stopped carefully, looking away. "I should go. Goodnight Bondita." He turned to leave.

"Goodnight Sikshak Babu." Aniruddha felt relieved. He was anxious about how the turn of events would affect them. She made sure he understood that they had started off just where they left off. These few days and endless emotional turmoil changed nothing. He was still her teacher and she was his student, they still dreamt of changing the world together.  Her words made him stop with a smile before he walked away. She turned to watch his figure disappear into the darkness.

Words:

Boudi: Sister-in-law, brother's wife

Bouma: Daughter-in-law, son's wife

Sakha Pola: White and red bangles are worn by married Bengali women

Loha Bangles: Must worn iron bangles coated with gold by married Bengali women

Gaye Holud: Haldi ritual of bride and groom

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