Homebound

Tark se hai fark padta tune mujhe ye sikhaya

Par yaha toh sab ne mere labon pe tala lagaya,

Sath jab se tera chuta koi na haath mein aya.

Sampoorna held Debaditya's last letter to her chest and wept. Bondita sat across her and firmly placed her hand on her shoulder. 

"What did he say?"

"He instructed me to help you run the school for the girls and women. He wants me to teach them music." Bondita smiled. "That will be the best. I will arrange a wage for you. That way, you can maintain the hut and your food." Sampoorna hugged Bondita tight. Bondita felt like she needed it more. She had spent a sleepless night running through the options in her head. What was her way forward now? She wondered. She closed her eyes, and she could see him. When did she become so dependent on Barrister Babu?

Sampoorna cupped her face, worried.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked. "Are you alright?" 

"Didi… did you know…. Do you remember…" she stopped. Bondita didn't want to remind Sampoorna of her wedding day.

"What are you saying?" She asked worriedly. 

"Nothing." Bondita shook her head. "I have to go. The women must be waiting for me."

Bondita reached the school to find out that the classes had already started. She frowned a little and approached the building. Ashapurna waved at her. She walked up to Ashapurna. 

"Aniruddha Babu said he will take our classes." Ashapurna smiled. "Isn't it great? We can keep studying." Bondita nodded with a faint smile. 

"I have to take the junior class now." She spoke, arranging her books in her hand.

"You won't attend his first class?" Ashapurna asked, surprised. Bondita shook her head. "The children are waiting to learn about Asoka." She gave Ashapurna a nod, "I'd better get going."

Aniruddha looked around at the faces in the class. The older girls were very few. 

"Ashapurna, where is Bondita?" He asked.

"She will take the notes from me. She is teaching the children, and then she has the women's class today." Ashapurna smiled as he nodded. 

"Okay, so we are going to learn about types of soils."

Bondita came downstairs to find Aniruddha waiting for their evening classes. She walked into the study noiselessly, set her stack of books down on the table, adjusted her pencils and sat down on the couch. Aniruddha looked up from his study table to spot her near the couch. He didn't move. Instead, he cleared his throat and took the question paper he had typed out on his typewriter out of the stacks of paper on his table. 

"You have three hours to answer these." He said, prompting her to walk up to his table and take the paper, carefully holding the other end of it. She stared at it. It was typed out. That's what he was doing in the study all morning. She looked up at his face. He still looked grim. He took out his pocket watch and tapped on the stopwatch button. "Your time starts now."

Bondita rushed to the coffee table, took out her copy and began to solve the questions. Aniruddha looked up at her, counting the numbers on her fingers. Her hair was tied back in a braid, and she was wearing the same saree she wore when he saw her on the balcony the first time. He looked away and concentrated on a stack of files. 

A sudden noise outside diverted their attention. Trilochan was scolding Bihari about something. Aniruddha noticed Bondita staring outside with eager eyes. He went across the room and shut the study room door noisily, making her look back into the copy. The sounds from outside could no longer be heard. He went back to his chair and concentrated on his file. Bondita wrote down her answers. Aniruddha eyed her every now and then. Concentrating on the paper. Ripples formed on her forehead as she tried to find the answers.

"Time's up." He said as his watch rang the alarm.

"One minute." She looked agitated.

"No." Aniruddha walked up to her and pulled the paper.

"Just one minute. I want to recheck it." She put her hand over his, trying to make the paper stay. He shook his head. 

"No. I will check it now." He took the papers away. 

He sat down across the coffee table from her and started checking the paper. She stared at the papers eagerly. Then her eyes travelled to him. He was holding the cap of the pen in between his lips, his eyes narrowed as he checked her calculations. He shook his pen a little. Once. Twice. It had run out of ink. Bondita promptly walked up to the table and found the ink pot. She placed it down on the coffee table and sat down beside it. He took the inkpot without looking at her and started to pour the ink. Some of it fell out as Bondita took a paper to blot it. The ink landed on her hands instead. Aniruddha took another paper and put it over the ink to blot it quickly. He then took out his handkerchief and held Bondita's hand, trying to wipe off the ink. Bondita looked up at him and back at the ink in her hands. It was drying up, and he was trying in vain to wipe it off. 

"I will wash it off. Don't worry." She spoke, as he realised he was holding her wrist and let it go. Putting his handkerchief down on the table, he started correcting the papers again as Bondita sat beside him. 

A knock on the door made them look up as Koeli peeped in.

"Saudamini Devi is here to see you, Choto Malik." She spoke. Aniruddha frowned. 

Bondita looked awkward and stood up in her position.

"I will go get tea." She said to nobody in particular.

"No. You stay here." He commanded. "Koeli, tell her to wait in the sitting area. I am checking Bondita's copy." Koeli nodded and was about to leave when Bondita spoke up.

"Koeli Didi, tell her to come in and wait here." She said as Aniruddha looked up at her words, but didn't bother to protest. 

Bondita moved to the other corner of the room as Saudamini walked in. At first, she noticed Bondita and smiled.

"How are you?" Bondita nodded with a faint smile. 

"There. One mistake. Why can't you get used to simplification?" Aniruddha looked up from his copy to find Saudamini smiling at him from where Bondita had sat a while ago. He looked across to Bondita. "Take your copy and do the corrections now." She nodded. She gathered her copy and pencil and started walking away, making him frown.

"I told you to do the corrections. Now." He spoke.

"I will do them in my room. Pari Didi has come all the way from Calcutta to see you." She stared back at Saudamini. "I will send your tea." Aniruddha opened his mouth to stop her, but she walked away faster than usual, making him frown a bit.

"See. You call her a child. Even she knows when people need privacy, but you don't." Saudamini smiled, making him look away.

"Mini… I…"

"I heard Binoy Uncle talk to Baba." She blushed. "About us." 

Aniruddha inhaled. He went across the room to close the study door. Saudamini blushed.

Bondita was going up the stairs when she saw the study door shut noiselessly. Her heart skipped a beat. She suddenly felt a hot rush of blood as she ran up the stairs, into her bedroom and shut the door. She kept the books down on the table and managed to sit down on the bed. She inhaled. Her hands wrapped around the now wrinkled bed sheet as she lay on her back.

"I am sorry, Mini. I can't do this." Saudamini's smile disappeared at his words.

"I know what Baba or Bhowmik Uncle expects of me. But it is not possible for me to marry you." Aniruddha looked up at her with an emotionless straight face. Saudamini smiled faintly.

"But I don't understand Aniruddha. Is there someone else?" She asked, scared.

"It's not that Mini." He shook his head. "You and I are very different people. We want different things." Aniruddha looked away and walked up to his chair. "You want a good life. A husband to settle with in London. I want to work here. Among my own people."

"You won't go back?" Saudamini frowned. "But why?" 

"Because I don't want to waste my life purposelessly. Debaditya died for the country. The least I can do is live for it." He shrugged.

"I know you are upset about that, but…" Saudamini stopped at his stare. 

"I decided on it before I even came here. You deserve a partner who would give you a luxurious life. I want someone different." Aniruddha spoke. "I hope you understand." Saudamini nodded.

"I do. What kind of a partner do you want, Aniruddha?" Her question made him look up. An image flashed in his inner eyes. He brushed it off.

"Someone who can fight my battles with me." He smiled. Saudamini nodded.

"So I guess that's it then. I will go tell Baba it's a no from both of us. I can't stay in the countryside for someone." She almost let out a chuckle as her eyes became teary. "I don't love you that much." Aniruddha looked up at her words.

"Mini." He shook his head. "I am so sorry."

"No, Aniruddha. I am." She shook her head with a faint smile and walked away. Aniruddha sighed, staring at the door.

"Did you ask for me?" Bondita nodded at the door of Trilochan's office to find Binoy there as well. It was late at night, and Koeli had informed her that Kakababu wanted to see her.

"Yes… I…" he stopped and breathed out. "Got a letter from your Pishi. She informs me that Kaka's daughter is getting married and you are invited to Krishnanagar for it. Your mother will be there too. So I thought it would be good for you to spend some weeks there with your family. Pack your bags. The car will drop you off there in the morning." Bondita looked up at Kakababu's grim face, then at Binoy's. Suddenly, she remembered the closed study room door. She was being sent away. And rightly so. She had no right to stay here. She nodded in silence. 

"I will pack my things." She was about to turn and leave.

"Take your books along too," Binoy suggested. "It will be long, and you wouldn't want to interrupt your studies." She stopped at the threshold and gulped. Nodding silently, she went away to her bedroom. 

Shutting the door behind her, she took out the trunk from under her bed. She opened the wardrobe next, and her hands stopped at the clothes. All her clothes, her jewellery, her belongings, were they actually hers? She sighed. All the gifts, sarees, jewellery, perfume, powder, and everything Kakababu gave her were not for her. It was perhaps for whom she couldn't be. How could she take all this with her? She found some old sarees in a corner. They belonged to her mother. And two of which her mother had sent. Another one, Debaditya, gifted her for Bhaifota. That was all she could claim as hers. She removed the gold earrings from her ears and put them in the box. Those belonged to Roy Chowdhury. She picked up a framed picture of her and Asha with Jamai Babu in front of the house. Another with Som and Batuk. She took out one of the sarees, made it into a bundle and put these few things inside. She took her copies, books and pencils. Wiping away her tears, she sat down to write a letter.

Aniruddha walked out for his yoga session on the lawn at dawn and frowned that the car was missing. He asked the clueless gardener. Where did it go? He walked inside the house, and his eyes fell on the half-opened study door. He was sure he had closed it shut the previous night. He opened the door, and his eyes fell on the coffee table. Aniruddha's heart skipped a beat. He walked in to pick up the coconut phone that was left there. Then he found the key to his bedroom that he had given her. Aniruddha looked perplexed. 

"Bondita?" He ran up the spiral staircase and reached her bedroom. "Bondita?" He looked around. His eyes fell on the piece of paper on the table that was kept beneath a keychain full of keys. He knew this bunch of keys. He saw them hang from the corner of her saree all the time. Aniruddha's throat went dry.

Trilochan Roy Chowdhury read the letter that was addressed to him.

"Respected Kakababu,

I don't even know if I should call you that. I know I probably will not come back. I am leaving you the keys to the storeroom and locker box that you once gave me. I am leaving behind all the things that you once bought me. They don't belong to Bondita Das. They belong to someone you thought I was. Please don't blame yourself for anything. I am taking with me all the love I received, the memories I cherish and your blessings. Tell Batuk he can have all the sweets now. Tell Somnath Dada to take care of Asha. Tell Binoy Babu not to forget his medicines. Take care of your health. And as a last wish to you, I hope you let Sampoorna didi stay. Tell Barrister Babu not to worry. I took all my books along. I will try to study as much as I can. Maybe I will even find a teacher there. Take care. Your daughter, Bondita."

Trilochan wiped his tears, making Aniruddha look up at him. Never had he seen his uncle cry. 

"I lost my Griholokkhi," Trilochan murmured under his breath. "Because of you."

"You sent her away." Aniruddha's voice was firm but low. 

"Her family wanted her back. Who are we to keep her?" He shrugged. "She doesn't belong here."

"So she is suddenly nobody to you?" Aniruddha asked, getting up, agitated.

Trilochan looked up at him.

"She was family to me. Your father insisted she shouldn't be here for yours and Saudamini's…"

"There is no me and Saudamini, Jetha Moshai." Aniruddha banged his hand on the table, frustrated. "There will never be."

"We have no right to bring Bondita back or tell her to stay. How did she know the truth?" Trilochan asked. "Did you tell her?" Aniruddha shook his head.

"Of course not." He thought a little. "I just helped her with the studies and…" he remembered Saudamini walking into the study and Bondita walking away. He sighed.

"I hope she will be happy finally being home," Trilochan murmured. Aniruddha looked up at his words.

"If she were, her mother wouldn't have left her with you." Aniruddha reasoned before storming out of the room. Trilochan followed him angrily.

"What do you want? What do you want me to do?" He asked. "You said you don't want a relationship. You said it was an accident. We have no right over her to keep her here, Aniruddha." He kept lashing out while he saw his nephew walk away, dismissing his arguments.