Skip to main content

Her Strength

 Main hu iss mitti se hi

Vilayati babu hai tu.


Bondita sat, hands folded in front of the Durga idol at the Thakur dalan on the rear portion of the house, eyes closed. She had lit the evening lamps after the storm had passed and placed a letter she had written on the feet of the idol. Ever since Bondita wrote letters to her mother, she had also developed a habit of leaving letters on the feet of Maa Durga. Most of the wishes she wrote in them got fulfilled as she woke up the next morning to find the letter missing. It wasn't until she was thirteen that she caught Trilochan reading her letters. She made him swear on Maa Durga not to read her letters again. She had realised it was he who fulfilled her wishes. But now it had become a habit she couldn't let go of. Only the letter remained the next day, and she took it to the river to float it away in the morning hoping that it found its way to Maa Durga.


The first thing Aniruddha noticed when he stepped into his room was its familiar look of it. His room was kept intact just the way he had left it when he went abroad... The only addition was the picture he had sent home, that now hung above the door. He sat down on the bed as Bihari came in with a jug of water. He started unpacking as a much excited Batuk was waiting patiently to see what Dada got him from abroad. Aniruddha smiled at his stories once in a while, before handing him the bowtie he got his little brother from London. As Batuk left, Aniruddha was called downstairs for dinner and he had to change into the first clean shirt he found in his belongings.


Aniruddha stopped following Bihari down the stairs at the sight of the chandelier in the courtyard. He gestured at Bihari to go on and removed his slippers to step across the threshold into the Thakur dalan. The first thing he spotted was the illuminated lamps. The darkness around the courtyard danced as shadows from the light of the chandelier and the lamps lit at the feet of the idol. He walked towards it, went up the steps and folded his hands to the goddess. Something stirred in the wind at the feet of the idol. He was scared it could be a rat or mole. Then he noticed a piece of paper about to blow away in the wind as he picked it up and looked around. There was nobody there. He opened the paper. His brows shot up. The handwriting. He recognized it from the innumerable letters Jetha Moshai sent him. Whose was it? He knelt down before the goddess to read the letter in the light.


" Beloved Mother,

You know how they always say I see the world differently. But never was I taught that being different is wrong. All I wish for is that my tribe gets the opportunity they had been denied for decades and help them achieve this dream. I know what I am about to do tomorrow is very tough. And I know it's the beginning of a long battle ahead. But Dugga Ma, I chose this battle. So give me the strength to fight it. I feel like I am alone against the world here. Does anyone else think the way I do? Can anyone give me answers? Give me strength Maa. I need it.

Your faithful daughter." 

Aniruddha's brows raised as he brushed his fingers over the word daughter. Who was this?


Bondita had retired to her room much before dinner time because of the festivities the next day. Although Trilochan was disappointed he didn't show it. Neither did he push for Bondita to stay for dinner. In fact, he was relieved. He knew his nephew. He would ask a thousand questions about the girl he apparently never saw. Trilochan had not once but thrice observed him lost in thoughts at the dining table as Somnath and Batuk spoke of their school and friends, excited to have him back. He spoke too little. But Trilochan gathered that is how he must have been these few years. He had grown into a man.


Aniruddha was in his room, but he couldn't sleep. He took a book from the shelf and smiled nostalgically at the pages. He then remembered the letter in his pocket, read it again, and bookmarked the page of the book with it. He decided to take a stroll around the house and to the open balconies to help with his sleeplessness. He stopped at one of the balconies a little alarmed to see a figure in the dark. Her hair was unmanned and swaying in the wind as she held the railings and stood with her back to him. Her silhouette appeared to be in a saree. Aniruddha looked around. Who was this? No woman lived in his house. Nobody from the servant quarters roamed about at night. He tiptoed across the threshold curious.


Bondita felt someone behind her. Someone whose footsteps were unfamiliar to her. A sudden fear gripped her. The dacoits were at large so were the revolutionaries. She had nothing around her for self-defence. Her throat dried up. Aniruddha glanced at the girl standing a few feet away from him and extended his arm unsure, of what to call her.


She turned before he could. Her face was barely visible in the darkness. She looked like a teenager, her face innocent, eyes sparkling. Her hair fell to her waist. Aniruddha approached the figure a little unsure, withdrawing his extended hand. To his utter surprise, the figure sprang away alarmed as if he was about to attack her. In a reflex, Aniruddha took a step away. 

"Who are you?" She asked, alarmed. "What are you doing here?" Aniruddha frowned. Not only was she in his house, but she also didn't know him as well.

"Answer me, or are you dumb? Can't you speak?" She frowned. "can't you hear?" She gestured to her own ears.

"Of course, I can speak. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" He frowned. "At my home?"

"You must be Barrister Babu!" Bondita jumped a little and looked a bit wide-eyed as he watched her put her hands on her mouth. "I apologize. I thought the dacoits attacked." She looked embarrassed as she smiled sheepishly. "I am so sorry."

"Dacoit?" Aniruddha raised his eyebrows. "Are there many around?" He asked, concerned. 

"So I have heard." She nodded. "But you really are Barrister Babu?" She stared at him. "They talk of you all the time."

"Yes, I am Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury." He frowned. "I don't know what you heard about me though."

"So you are for real!" Bondita had a curious smile on her face.

"What do you mean?" Aniruddha frowned. "Of course I am real."

"Seeing is believing, Barrister Babu. And I never saw you before." Aniruddha suddenly felt her tone was familiar. He just couldn't place it.

"Do I know you?" He asked unsurely. "I felt like I knew you." She shook her head. 

"That's not possible. I came here after you left. I just knew your room was locked all the time and I was curious about what was inside." 


By now Aniruddha assumed this girl was from the servant's quarters and smiled at her innocent rant.

"And I corresponded with your letters. Read them aloud to Zamindar Babu and write what he told me to."

"That was you?" He asked, surprised. "I assumed with pride that my younger brother had such nice and clear handwriting." 

"I take that as a compliment. Thank you." Bondita smiled.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking around. "At this hour?"

"I am praying." She looked up at the sky and back at him. "Tomorrow is a big day for me." She rubbed her hands pensively...


Aniruddha put his hands back in his pocket and thought. He suddenly remembered the letter he had found at the feet of the idol.

"Whatever it is you are praying for, I hope you find it, or it finds you." He smiled politely. "I should get going. Don't wander around like that. You can scare people." She nodded with a smile. "Shubh Ratri."

"My bad, I didn't ask you, what is your name?" Aniruddha stopped to turn at the threshold. He didn't know why he didn't feel comfortable enough to tell her that he found her letter and read it.

"I am Bondita." Her words made his face turn pale and his throat felt dry.


"They are saying you married her." One of his friends had said. He laughed. "Just because we collided in some accidental way and the plate fell on her? Are you serious? She is a child."

"Children her age get married all the time." Another friend shrugged. "the priests said it's a…"

"The priests feed you with what you want to hear." Aniruddha dismissed them. "It was a mere accident. Don't make it destiny."

"Society believes…"

"Doesn't matter what they believe. They also believe killing women in their husband's pyre gives them a ticket to heaven." He retorted.

"Well in case you are interested..."

"I am not." He shrugged.

"Her name is Bondita Das."

"And I am leaving for Kingston. I will never see her again."


"Do you work here?" He asked as she shook her head. 

"Why are you here, then?" He managed.

"I stay here because my mother is too poor to look after me. And Kakababu took me in." 

"Kakababu?" He asked with his brows raised.

"Your Jetha Moshai." She said,

Trilochan did have a habit of helping people. This could just be that. Couldn't it? Or it could be a mere incident of similar names. 


He looked at her eyes again. No, he thought he had forgotten those eyes. He clearly hadn't. The memories became more vivid. Bondita stared back cluelessly.

"Where are you from?" He asked as his heart thumped in his chest.

"Krishna Nagar. My father passed away and… " she stopped noticing his pale face. 

"Is everything alright?" He nodded. "I am tired. I need to…"

She smiled. "Welcome home Barrister Babu. I better get going too." She ran across the corridor, her nupur making music, and disappeared into the darkness on the other side. 

"What is she doing here?" He asked almost to himself.


Aniruddha reached his room in a haze. Thoughts ran through his mind. What if she was here because of him? What if Trilochan Roy Chowdhury was forced by her family and the poor girl was clueless? What if he was the root cause of all the trouble?


As soon as Aniruddha shut the door behind him he lay down on the bed. His mind raced. The image of the girl he had assumed to have forgotten haunted him. Those eyes, that vermilion-smeared face. The words of the people around him. Destiny. Fate. Suddenly the vermillion-smeared child turned into a teenager. 

Barrister Babu. Barrister Babu. A voice echoed in his mind. Aniruddha jolted awake to find himself half laying on his bed, his clothes unchanged.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Protisruti

  প্রতিশ্রুতি  বন্দিতা মা কে জড়িয়ে ধরে যেন প্রাণ ফিরে পায়।  “ভাল আছিস?” জিগেস করে সুমতি। বন্দিতা হঠাৎ খেয়াল করে আগের মতো তার মুখ দেখেই তার মা আর তার মনের অবস্থা বুঝতে পারেন না। তার সাথে হঠাৎ মনে পরে কত অনায়াসে অনিরুদ্ধ বোঝে যে তার মন খারাপ। একবার জিজ্ঞেস করেছিল সে স্বামীকে, কি করে তিনি বোঝেন তার মন খারাপ। ছোট বন্দিতাকে তার মতন করে বুঝিয়েছিলেন তার স্বামী। আজ বন্দিতা বড় হয়েছে কিন্তু সেই প্রশ্ন সে আর করতে পারেনা। বন্দিতাকে খাটিয়ার উপর বসিয়ে এর মধ্যেই সুমতি যায় তার জন্য মুড়ি মুড়কি আনতে। বন্দিতার চোখ পরে পায়ের নূপুরের উপর। তিনি বলেছিলেন “তুমি খুশি হলে তোমার নূপুরের আওয়াজ অন্যরকম হয়, আর তোমার মন খারাপ হলে অন্যরকম।” বন্দিতা নূপুরটা বাজিয়ে দেখেছিল সেদিন। আজকে সে জানে পার্থক্য তার নূপুরের শব্দে নয়, অনিরুদ্ধের পর্যবেক্ষণ শক্তিতে। আবার কেন তার কথা ভাবছে সে? বাড়ি এসেছে মায়ের কাছে। আর ভাববে না সে, হয়তো দু তিন দিন পর ত্রিলোচনবাবু পাঠাবেন বিহারী কে বন্দিতাকে বাড়ি নিয়ে যেতে, ততদিন মায়ের কাছে একটু শান্তিতে থাকুক না সে।  দুপুরে আম দুধ দিয়ে ভাত দেয় তাকে সুমতি। “তোর প্রিয় খাবার দেখ, মাম...

Answers

Aniruddha could not work all day. It started raining heavily outside, the curtains of the room swayed in the gusty wind, and things around the room toppled over. Koeli came to pick them up, to see if he wanted to eat anything but Aniruddha wanted to be left alone. Countless questions and fears raced through his mind. Bondita never went home like she did that day. Rather, once a year, even before Jamai Sasti, she checked the household chores a hundred times. If Batuk had a test, if someone was sick, she was reluctant to go. She just packed a bundle so quickly and left for her mother’s place. Had she distanced herself from Aniruddha? Was it his fault? Anirudha started thinking. Could she not take him as a husband because he pushed her away and hurt her? Aniruddha repented for his actions. If indeed Bondita denied their relationship knowing the truth behind it, could she be blamed? But was that why she was pretending to be asleep even though she was awake that night? What did she think ab...

Promises

Bondita hugged her mother as if to find herself again.  "Are you okay?" Sumati smiled. Bondita suddenly noticed that her mother couldn't understand her state of mind just by looking at her face anymore. With that, she suddenly remembered how easily Aniruddha understood that she was upset. Once she asked her husband how he understood things without her saying it. Her husband explained to little Bondita in a way she would understand. Now that Bondita was grown up she could perhaps never ask him that question again. Meanwhile, Sumati hurried to get her some Muri Murki while she sat down on the bed. Bondita's eyes fell on her feet. He had said, "When you are happy, your anklet sounds different, and when you are sad, it is different." Bondita stirred her anklets unmindfully. Today she knew the difference was not in the sound of her Nupur but in Aniruddha's powers of observation. Why was she thinking about him? She came home to her mother. And she would not th...

Choices

The winter rains and gusty wind were unpleasant weather for Adhiraja Ishaan Dev. The Suryapalian capital was far more tropical weather of the plain lands than that of Neelambargarh, situated on a plateau rather close to the Heemdevi. It rained more in Neelambargarh, and the winters were cold. The wine did very little to comfort him as he kept the lamps of his chamber lit in an attempt to feel warmer. On the contrary, he observed how Priyambada complained that the winter isn't cold enough. It had been a quarter of the moon cycle since Maharani Priyambada met Kumari Advika of Mait. Although Ishaan Dev was eager to know what the ladies did talk about, he wasn’t sure whether to ask Priyambada. So he waited for her to tell him something, anything! But Priyambada seemed to act like the meeting never happened. She didn’t even disclose anything to Smriti as per Kumar Viraj. Ishaan Dev was perplexed. What was talked of in the meeting? Worse, did Advika mention him? She must have. The last t...

Going Home

Bondita's Mama came to Tulsipur to meet his daughter. He was a poor man and wore a short dhoti and a Batik shirt. It was wrong to come empty-handed to the daughter's house, so two pots of sweets accompanied him. Reluctantly, he had to go to Roy Chowdhury's house. They were the Zamindar of Tulsipur, the master of the father-in-law of Sampoorna, they needed to be respected. Apart from that, the fate of the sister and niece who he was reluctant to shelter and spent day and night rebuking them about had turned, the same sister now handed over some money to him by the end of the month, because of the kindness of Aniruddha Babu. He did not have the luxury of pushing Lakshmi away. Hence it was necessary to come to the landlord's house to meet his niece. In their house servants also dressed better than him; Look at the fate of the girl . Where he had arranged for her to stay in a corner of an old man's house, now Bondita was living a queen’s life.  Zamindar Trilochan Roy Ch...

Uttor

  উত্তর   সারাদিন কাজে মন বসেনা অনিরুদ্ধর। বাইরে অঝোরে বৃষ্টি হতে থাকে, ঝোড়োও হওয়ায় ঘরের পর্দা দোলে , জিনিসপত্র এলোমেলো হয়ে যায়। কয়েলি আসে ছোট মালিকের জিনিস গুছিয়ে দিতে, তিনি কিছু খাবেন কিনা শুধোতে কিন্তু তাকে চলে যেতে বলে ঘরে খিল দেয় অনিরুদ্ধ। একা থাকতে চায়। তার মনে আনাগোনা করে অসংখ প্রশ্ন এবং আশংকা। যে ভাবে বন্দিতা স্বেচ্ছায় মায়ের কাছে গেল আজ, সেরকম সে কোনদিন যায়না । বরং বছরে একবার জামাই ষষ্টিতে যাওয়ার আগেও একশো বার বাড়ির কাজকম্ম দেখে শুনে যায়। বটুকের পরীক্ষা, কারুর শরীর খারাপ হলে তো কথাই নেই। সেই বন্দিতা আজ হঠাৎ বাড়ি যাবে বলে কি তাড়াতাড়ি পোটলা গুছিয়েছে। এতই কি দূরে চলে গেছে সে অনিরুদ্ধের থেকে? তা কি তার নিজের দোষে? ভাবতে থাকে অনিরুদ্ধ। সে দূরে সরিয়ে দিয়েছে বলে অভিমান না কি তাকে স্বামী রূপে গ্রহণ করতে পারেনা বন্দিতা? অনিরুদ্ধ পশ্চাতাপ করে। সত্যি যদি বন্দিতা সব জেনে তাদের সম্পর্ক অস্বীকার করে, তাকে কি দোষ দেওয়া চলে? তবে কি তাই সেদিন রাত্রে জেগে থাকা সত্যেও ঘুমের অভিনয় করছিল সে? কি ভেবেছে সে অনিরুদ্ধের ব্যাপারে? কেন চারিদিক বাছবিচার না করে এমন করল অনিরুদ্ধ? নিজের প্রতিজ্ঞ...

Adornment

The rainy night had given way to a rather pleasant summer morning in Suryapali. The temperature was no longer soaring and a gentle breeze blew through the plains of Suryapali. The sun peeped out through the floating clouds occasionally. Priyambada walked into her chambers after a luncheon to find trays laid with drapes and jewellery, waiting for her. “The Maharani sent this for some celebration in the evening,” Vrinda spoke, bowing at her mistress who nodded silently. Priyambada eyed the trays and exhaled. She wasn’t sure if anyone talked to Ishaan Dev about the rituals. She dismissed Vrinda and decided to read the scripture. As Priyambada sat down on the edge of the bed, scripture in hand, her thoughts travelled to the happenings of the night and she inhaled as her throat felt dry. Why did he stop? Did he feel that he had offended her? Priyambada wondered. She walked up to the attire laid down for the evening and picked up the drape wrapped into a bodice and wrap-around skirt. They w...

Ghore Fera

  ঘরে ফেরা   বন্দিতার মামা মেয়ের সাথে দেখা করতে আসেন তুলশিপুর। গরিবের ঘরের ছা পোষা চেহারা তার, পরনে খাটো ধুতি ও ছিটের জামা। মেয়ের শশুরবাড়িতে খালি হাতে আসা অন্যায় তাই দুটি মিষ্টির হাড়ি সাথে। অনিচ্ছা সত্তেও রায় চৌধুরী বাড়িতে যেতে হয় তাকে। তারা তুলশিপুরের জমিদার, সম্পূর্ণার শ্বশুরের মনিব, তাদের সম্মান করে চলা মঙ্গল। তা ছাড়া যে বোন  ও বোনঝিকে আশ্রয় দেওয়া নিয়ে দিনরাত কথা শোনাতে বাঁধতো না তার, সেই বোন  এখন মাস গেলে তার হাতে টাকা তুলে দেয়, অনিরুদ্ধ বাবুর দয়ায়। হাতে আসা লক্ষ্মী পায়ে ঠেলার বিলাসিতা করার মত মুরোদ নয় তার। অগত্যা বোনঝির সাথে দেখা করতে জমিদার বাড়ি আসা। এদের বাড়ির চাকররাও  তার থেকে ভাল পোশাক পরে; ভাগ্য দেখো মেয়েটার। কোথায় কোন বুড়োর বাড়ির এক কোণে পরে থাকার ব্যবস্থা করেছিল সে, এখন বন্দিতা রাজরানী।  জমিদার ত্রিলোচন রায় চৌধুরীর যাকে পছন্দ নয় তাকে তিনি সেটা বুঝিয়ে দিতে দ্বিধা বোধ করেন না। বন্দিতার মামা তার তেমন এক অপছন্দের পাত্র । বৌমার মুখে তিনি যা  শুনেছেন তারপর বৌমার তাদের প্রতি টান দেখে আশ্চর্য হন ত্রিলোচন বাবু। কিন্তু কুটুম্ব তারা। হাতে কর...

Trust

Ishaan Dev woke up at the sound of the hourly bells and trumpets and found himself alone in bed. It took him some time to realise that he had perhaps overslept as he looked confused, half asleep first at the hourglass and then at the sun rays coming into the chambers through the swaying curtains. He sat up to suddenly remember the happenings of the night, as his eyes travelled to the blood stain on the sheet and he sat in contemplation for a good few minutes. He finally had his moment with Priyambada and it was nothing like he had imagined it to be. A part of him that yearned to touch her and taste her was satisfied enough to realise that his longing for her was not only physical. When bodies entwined in the union, and he had pushed himself in, as he had with a hundred other women before her, something in him felt a different sense of completeness and fulfilment that he realised was missing from his life. He had seen Priyambada react to the sensations that were completely new to her, m...

Gratefulness

Aniruddha did not return home that night, he informed on the telephone that he was stuck in urgent work so he would return home the next day after spending the night at the client's house. Bondita spent a sleepless night. What would she tell Barrister Babu? And why would he believe it? She was lost in her thoughts twisting and turning in bed all night. She was hurt. Was her husband so reluctant towards their relationship that he did not wish to return home because of her? Once he was busy with some work and was pacing in the study room. Bondita was a child. Her Jetha Shoshur Moshai had taught her to serve her husband. She used to see Bihari take a cup of tea to the study room every day. Despite Bihari's resistance, she picked up the cup of tea that day.  "Don't do this, Ginnima ," Bihari was terrified. “Barrister Babu does not like to talk or be disturbed during his work. If he gets angry, I will lose my job.” Bondita ignored his words and entered the study room w...