Till The End of Time

Pratap had rushed into the courtyard of the house as the noise of his bike made Meera walk out feebly with a curious face. It was pouring heavily, quite unlike the winter around the area, and he was almost shivering in the cold, dripping wet. Meera rushed inside to grab the first dry piece of cloth she could find. Pratap walked in, still shivering, but least bothered about it. He stopped her hands while she was trying to wipe the dripping water off his head, and Meera could see his eyes were red.

“What happened? Is everything fine?” Her questions made him hug her, tightly, resting his face on her shoulder and weep.

“Ladesar?” She asked with a frown.

The party was probably nothing like Pratap imagined. It was a lot more lavish than even his greatest imagination. He and Patta were given the duty to overlook the bar counters, and standing at one end of the hall, he could see the entire crowd. The princess looked happy; her hand was entwined with her fiancé’s, and her parents looked proud. Pratap’s eyes didn’t miss the kind of female attention Prithviraj got in his bandh gala suit, and he enjoyed every bit of it. Twice, he had noticed Prithvi’s eyes search, as suddenly a fit of jealousy rushed through his veins. He was quick with his control. He needed to keep his emotions in check. He needed to be aloof, just like he promised himself.

Ajabdeh was sure that her lehenga was too dressy for a bride’s sister. She hence omitted the jewellery and let her hair fall loosely over her face, trying to keep the royalty to a minimum. She then checked herself in the mirror as the maid-in-waiting handed her the semi-transparent dupatta. As soon as she held the dupatta, the image of him putting it over her head flashed in her mind and ached her heart.

“I don’t want this.” She threw the dupatta on the bed and surprised the maids.

“But Baisa Hukum...” They looked scared.

“I can do without it.” Ajabdeh adjusted her off-shoulder crop top and pushed the lehenga up a little just enough to cover her belly button. “Hand me my purse.”

Prithvi’s eyes twinkled at the stairs as she appeared atop them. Heer’s gaze followed his as Ajabdeh smiled at her. The sudden buzz among the guests made Pratap turn to see Prithvi walk up to Ajabdeh to hold her hand and guide her down the rest of the stairs. He could see her parents beam happily. A sudden emptiness filled his heart as he saw her take Prithvi’s hand with a smile and let him guide her to the dance floor. All through the evening, he had stared at her through the corner of his eyes, hoping she perhaps once would stare back at him. It seemed like Ajabdeh totally dismissed his presence and enjoyed the company of someone more “worthy of being her friend”. Pratap had walked to different corners of the room, trying to keep himself busy, and hoping hard that his eyes didn’t travel to her, in vain.

Ajabdeh felt a pair of eyes on her all through the evening, and as much as her heart raced or her eyes felt the desire to stare back at him, Ajabdeh was determined not to. She had tried in vain to enjoy Prithvi’s company. Leaned in and smiled at his stories, laughed at his not-so-hilarious jokes. Yet her heart yearned for something totally different. She could sense Heer and Shakti staring at their best man and bridesmaid with eager anticipation. Her parents were more than happy to see her mingle with the heir of the Chauhans, but somewhere Ajabdeh tried in vain to smile, which made her jaws ache.

Pratap decided he had had enough when Prithviraj pushed Ajabdeh closer against him, by her waist, on the dance floor and the ladies around him gossiped about how their clothes were complementing each other, there could be a possible alliance and how perfect Prithviraj was. Pratap swallowed hard like something was stuck in his throat. He then decided what he needed to do.

He wanted a reason to leave; this was enough. He had walked up to Chundawat, saying Badima was unwell, and wished to discontinue his services. Chundawat was reluctant since it was the princess who hired him, but Pratap had reassured him that she would not have any problem with a replacement. Ajabdeh failed to spot him in the late hours at the party and frowned as she looked around frantically.

“Looking for me?” Prithvi had tapped on her shoulder with a smile, handing her a peg of drink.

“No... I ...” She gulped down the whole drink in one go, as taken aback Prithvi stared in disbelief, picked up her lehenga with both hands and ran towards the entrance where Chundawat stood.

“Have you seen....” Ajabdeh stopped to check the urgency in her voice, “Have you seen Pratap Singh?”

“Yes, Baisa Hukum.” Chundawat nodded, “He has left his service and...”

“What?” Ajabdeh frowned “How can he... I hired him!”

“He said you don’t have a problem if he...” Chundawat stopped as Prithvi showed up behind Ajabdeh

“Anything wrong?” He asked, concerned.

“No, excuse me, I am tired, I will call it a night.” Ajabdeh had walked past him, her face clearly pale, and rushed up the stairs as Prithvi stood frowning.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Shakti asked, patting his shoulder as he walked up to him.

“Nothing. Everything seemed fine, but...” He frowned and stopped as Heer approached them “Where is Jija?”

“She called it a night.” Heer’s gaze followed Prithvi’s up to the stairs.

“Excuse me.” Heer ran up the stairs and towards her room. The door was locked from the inside, and Heer knocked softly. “Jija?”

“Are you all right, Jija? Let me in.” She could not hear a sound. The maid-in-waiting rushed to her instead.

“Baisa said not to disturb her sleep; she has a terrible headache.”

“Does she?” Heer frowned slightly, staring back at the door one more time before she took a deep breath and knocked on it. “I am not going to leave unless you let me in, even if I have to stand here all night.”

The door opened, and Ajabdeh looked pale.

“What’s wrong?” Heer asked the moment she shut the door behind her.

“He ....left.” Ajabdeh’s voice was monotonous, as she looked up with a blank stare.

“Who....” Heer’s eyes widened. “He left Surajgarh?”

“He is going to.” Ajabdeh sighed. “Heer. You were right. He is right. I was wrong. I hoped... I hoped that I would find someone who would hold on to me and...” Ajabdeh took a deep breath to control her tears, as she hid her face with her palms and sat down on the bed.

“Can I ask you something, Jija?” Heer asked, putting her hand gently on her sister’s shoulder as Ajabdeh stared at her, “How do you know he is the one?”

“What do you mean?” Ajabdeh frowned.

“It can also be a momentary attraction. You know such things happen, you both were alone and had similar interests... maybe there is someone better who...”

“You don’t understand, do you?” Ajabdeh’s smile stopped Heer. “It is not about better, it is what he makes me feel. This feeling doesn’t need reciprocation, yet I hoped...It is not a momentary attraction when I know, with all my heart, that I can fight the world for him, even if he doesn’t hold on to me. I can fight the whole world, alone.”

“You can?” Heer asked, surprised at her sister’s words. “Then...Does his leaving really mean he is not holding on to you?”

“What are you trying to say?” Ajabdeh sighed.

Heer smiled faintly at her words.

“From where I see you, you are ready to fight the world for him, and he is ready to sacrifice all the possible happiness he could have so that you stay out of trouble. If this isn’t holding on, I don’t know what is.”

“But I wish I could speak to him once, tell him how he makes me feel. Tell him I can fight the world for him... tell him...”

“Then go, take your chance at it.” Heer said, holding her hand firmly, “And when you find yourself against the world, remember I am here.”

“But Heer. He is not ready to...” Ajabdeh stared at her sister in disbelief.

“Make him listen. But remember, what he is doing is right. Sometimes what is right is not what we want, and that is ...” Heer shrugged. “...meant to be.”

“I know in all practical ways, we aren’t... but my heart, for once, wants him to know... it will always be him, never anyone else” Ajabdeh’s words faded in a whisper.

“I am sure you will find your way.” Heer smiled. She hugged Ajabdeh firmly.”Now go find him.”

“We cannot leave the village.” Meera shook her head as Pratap clearly ignored her opinion, stuffing his clothes in his luggage bags.

“Badimaasa, I cannot stay here, and I cannot leave you here. I promise I will tell Daata to bring you back once you are better.” He stopped at Meera’s faint smile. She always smiled when she knew something and didn’t tell about it. He shook his head.

“What about you?” She asked. His hands stopped with a faint smile.

“I have the riding school, the horses, my job and...”

“Will you be able to forget her?” Meera’s words made his heart skip a beat.

“I... I don’t want to forget her, Badimaasa.” Pratap sat down on his knees before her, holding her hands in his. “She is like that dream that keeps coming back but is never in reach... I would like to keep it that way.”

“What does she want? Have you asked?” Meera asked, gently putting her hand over his ruffled hair.

“ She will agree to not being foolish enough to jeopardise...”

Ajabdeh had managed to make a rope out of the four drapes of her window, after changing into a pair of ripped denim and a jacket and using a scarf to cover her mouth. It fell out of her window and almost to the ground. She took a deep breath.

Patta did not know why he was called to the stables by the princess at this hour of the night, that too in secret. But he knew he was loyal to serve her. He had seen her shadow approach stealthily towards where he stood with Chetak.

“Has anyone seen you come here?” She asked in an urgent voice. He shook his head.

“Good, help me get up on Chetak, and you can go.”

“But... Hukum, you...”

“Do as I say.” Her voice was so serious that it scared the boy. He did as he was told and promised to wait at the stables until she returned.

“All right Chetak. We need to go find him.” She patted the horse “We can do this, you and I.”

She pulled on the reins softly as the horse galloped to the back gates. She prayed that everyone was busy with the guests and party to notice her leave. Chetak galloped out almost noiselessly, like a warhorse in guerrilla warfare. She smiled proudly and patted him. The back gates were closed, and a large lock hung from them. Ajabdeh stopped with a frown and spotted a part of the boundary wall in the distance that was shorter than the other parts.

“Chetak.” She patted him again “Can you jump over that?” He neighed.

Ajabdeh took a deep breath as she made Chetak fall back a few steps to make the jump. Her grip on the reins was firm. Ajabdeh had closed her eyes, leaning her body closer to Chetak, her heart racing.

 “Go!”

“Is that what she wants?” Meera asked, “I saw a fighter in her. I saw that spark that can change destiny. I hoped...”

“Badimaasa. I know what you believe in. I know you will say we were destined to meet. Everything is written. But... “

The sudden sound of hooves made his heart skip a beat as Meera smiled at the door. Dripping wet, from head to toe, was the princess at their threshold.

“Rajkumarisa?” Meera’s eyes travelled from her to Pratap and back at her.

“What are you doing here?” Pratap’s voice shook.

“Hear me out before you go. I am not here to stop you.” Ajabdeh crossed over the threshold, her jaws tightened, and her eyes did not leave his. Pratap looked away and tightened his jaws.

“Why are you here? If anyone saw ...” His voice was indifferent, making Ajabdeh clench her jaws.

“I don’t care anymore. I need to talk.” Ajabdeh’s voice was demanding.

“There is nothing to talk about. Don’t you realise that?” Pratap’s eyes met hers to realise she was teary.

“No, I don’t.” She shook her head with a faint smile. “But I know a thousand reasons why you should hear me out.”

“Listen, I...”

“No, Pratap. You listen to me...” Her voice choked as Meera walked up to hold her by her hand and stared at Pratap.

“Hear her out.” It was more of a command.

“But Badimaasa...” He protested faintly as Meera stopped him with a stare before walking out of the room.

“I am not here to stop you, because I know we aren’t ready to fight all the odds against the world. I am not telling you to stay, knowing very well each and every moment spent with you is a memory I will spend my lifetime reliving.”  Ajabdeh stepped closer to him as he looked away. “But here is the thing...If you leave without hearing me out, you will regret the ‘what if’ all your life, and so will I. You will imagine me having a life I will never have. You will end up doubting where we once stood. If those moments, those mere small moments, were just a momentary attraction for me.”

“It doesn’t matter.” His voice was unusually low.

“It does. It does because you need to know that maybe we were the right people meeting at the wrong time. Maybe we weren’t brave enough. But it doesn’t mean we will never be. They say that soulmates don’t end up together. They tell the same stories again and again. I don’t believe them. And only you can help me prove them wrong.”

She had gently touched his chest, where his heart thumped, with her right palm. “If you leave without hearing me out, we lose our chance at Love, Pratap.” He had stared at her as she smiled faintly.

“What are you trying to say?” Pratap’s voice choked a little as he gulped, “What do you want? We should never hurt our own people and be selfish; all the stories that begin there have the worst endings.”

“I want us to live our lives, our dreams, our separate paths. But if we ever cross paths again, I will always be yours. And I believe in destiny, Pratap. One day, we will meet again, at the right time, at the right place. I want our story to be unique. I want to be with you when the time is right. I want to cherish us as a happy past and hopeful future. Not heartache. I want to look back to say that we loved fiercely, once.”

“What if we don’t?” Pratap tried in vain to bring out his voice of reason, making her smile.

“If we don't, that doesn’t mean our story ends here. It doesn’t mean we are a lie.”

His voice was faint “Worse if we do...You know where this will... You and I can never...” She put her left hand over his mouth and inched closer, making his heart skip a beat.

“You and I haven’t met here, Pratap. I had told you this before.” She smiled. “We have been in each other all along. And together or apart, you are a part of me, as I am, of you.” She gently removed her hand from his mouth as he kept staring at her. “You and I have always been together, and we always will be.” She held out her hand, making him stare at it “This is our story, Pratap. I want you to be brave enough to hold my hand and write it with me.” Pratap stared at her hand and back at her as she smiled faintly. “I don’t know about tomorrow, I don’t know if we are meant to be. But I know that today, at this very moment, I have found a home to hold on to. I may wander, you may wonder. We will lose touch. We will prioritise our responsibilities. But I am here to let you know that no matter how far a branch travels, it is still attached to its roots. This is us, our root. That is all I know for now; we will figure out the future later.” Her words were met with silence. Ajabdeh sighed, trying to hold back her tears.

“I will hope every day of my life that I see you again. And I will wait every day, till the end of time.” Ajabdeh turned to leave, not waiting for his response, in fear that she was way too vulnerable, on the verge of a breakdown. Pratap held onto her wrist, making her heart skip a beat.

“I promise you, you will always be my only one.” Each word of his came out with intent and made Ajabdeh turn with tears in her eyes. Pratap didn’t want to hold back his emotions anymore. He had pulled her in a tight embrace, kissed her forehead and stared into her eyes like he was imprinting them on his mind.

“Ever since I knew what love was, I had been looking for you in all the wrong places. Now, I met you at the wrong time.” His voice sounded full of regret.

“And all the time we live separately, we will always be in each other. Promise?”

He nodded at her words as she stepped away from him carefully and slowly, his eyes not leaving hers. He let go of her hand.

She stopped at the threshold where Meera stood with a smile and tears in her eyes.

“Unconventional is always your way. Rajkunwarisa, I have never seen a soul like yours.” She hugged Ajabdeh tightly as Ajabdeh shivered in her warmth. Glancing at Pratap, who stared at them, his heart sinking some more, she nodded faintly.

“I can now say, I do see love survive the odds.” She said as Ajabdeh looked away. “In unimaginable ways.” Her last words were almost like a murmur as she walked away, unmindful.

“I hope to see you.” Ajabdeh smiled faintly, turning at the threshold once.

“You will.” Pratap smiled back at her. "I promise you that. And this time our timing will be right."

“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind I was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere, they are in each other all along” – Rumi.

The End

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