Skip to main content

Distraught Hearts

By
Over the past months, Ajabdeh Baisa had trained her mind and body to be Bijolia’s Baijilal. Bijolia’s very own “Ajbandeh” was now everyone’s Baijilal, running the administration and defence for the Punwar house. She had grown into what her mother thought was a reflection of the woman she always admired, Maharani Jaivanta Bai. She feared mentioning that even to herself lest wounds be reopened and cause pains that can never heal.

Ajabdeh had made Bijolia and her subjects her life, ever since that faithful day she broke the norms and took an oath as Samanth. She vowed to be the son her father wanted. However, although Bijolia was more than happy knowing they were in Baijilal’s safe hands, she was clear that her position was just as Balwant’s representative and nothing else.

As per the norms, the news had reached the Kumbha Palace. Rawat Chundawat was walking down to the court when he could spot the messenger from Bijolia. His heart had skipped a beat, worried for her. In the court, discussing matters over the Afghan attacks were Ranaji and Kunwar Pratap. He had managed to stop the messenger in time before he disrupted the court with the letter from the place they now wanted to forget. He didn’t blame them, though. Both father and sons were mere Katputlis of a bigger hand at play. He smiled sarcastically at the Ranimahal. He had dispersed the man and read it twice. He had smiled in awe at the seal from the new Samanth. He was now sure she was indeed his soulmate, a fighter for life.

“Ranaji.” He had entered the court beaming, making everyone stare in surprise.
“ Aapke haat mein yeh kya hai, Rawatji?” One of the eager courtiers had asked. He had smiled.
“Bijolia mein…” Kunwar Pratap, rising from his seat, had made him stop.
“Hu…Hum astrashala se aate hai.” He had walked away, not looking up from the carpet. 

His heart had made this weird skip of a beat at the place’s mention, and he hated to admit the ache it caused. The ache she… He was better off with his weapons and horses, away from everything that reminded him of the two people one he had lost, another he had abandoned. Since that fateful day, he had not stepped into the Ranimahal corridors. He had heard both rooms were locked the way they left them; he feared being trapped by memories he needed to forget. Rawatji knew the boy; he had grown ten years in these few months, but from the looks of it, she had grown much more.

“Rawatji, hum nahi chahte Bijolia ka koi bhi baat aap yaha kare, unko koi madat chahiye toh aap dekh lena, lekin iss Chittorgarh mein kabhi uss jagah ka naam nahi lenge koi bhi.” Everyone stared at the visibly displeased Ranaji in awe.
“Hukum.” Rawatji had not dared to correct the concerned father who walked out after his son. He had kept the letter to himself. Something told him this was important for later.

The Bijolia Palace was shining in the rising sun of the dawn as a song filled the air and gave a peaceful feel.
“Akhiyaan Hari darsan ko pyasi.” 
Balwant was running half-dressed through the corridor, about to fall, when his mother caught him.
“Hum e shama kijiye Ranisa, ve phirse uthne mein der…” The Dasi stopped at Hansa Bai’s cold look.
“Ek taraf Ajabdeh hai jo sab kuch samhal rahe, dusre taraf baki saab jinko koi hosh nahi…”
“Kakisa.” Saubhagyawati interrupted, saving the three-year-old about to cry. “Chodiye na, baccha hai.”
“ Ajabdeh bhi…” Hansa stopped a little teary as Saubhagyawati’s smile faded. “Uska bholapan cheen liya sabne.” She walked away as Balwant looked confused.
“Chaliye bhai.” Saubhagyawati smiled at the boy.

“kesaar tilak, motin ki maala… Vrindavan ke vaasi.” 
There she sat, eyes closed, in her own simple and graceful way, in front of the smiling Lord as they entered silently. She smiled, feeling their presence as she took the Aarti thaal in hand for the last bit of the morning prayers.

“Baisa…” The Daasi ran through the Rani mahal of the Bijolia palace searching, a folded, wrapped letter in hand.
“Baisa…?” She asked a passing by Daasi.
“Kanha mandir…” She didn’t finish as the one with the letter ran.

Baijilal was worried about her flickering Diya. It was about to die when she saved it from the gusty winds with her hands.
“Baisa.” The daasi stopped breathlessly.
“Baijilal.” Saubhagyawati corrected, irritated. She smiled at her friend.
“Kya hua hai Kasturi?” Her smile faded at the letter in hand. The daasi looked down at the carpet, prompting her to get up and take the letter. The seal was from Rawat Chundawat’s place. She frowned as she struggled with the string.

News from Chittorgarh? Was Ranima… Opening it, she froze like a stone-cold statue. Her warrior hands were shaking.
 “Ajabdeh?” Saubhagyawati’s voice shook her. “Kya hai isme?”
“Vivah nimantran.” She said plainly as Saubhagyawati frowned.
“Vivah? Kiske?” She had raised her eyebrows. As far as she knew, Rawatji’s son was still an infant.
“Woh… woh… aise kaise maan gaye?” Her teary eyes made Saubhagyawati’s heart sink as she hugged her friend tighter than she ever did. Ajabde stared blankly at Kanhaji, smiling. Breaking away from the hug, she wiped away the tears.

“Kasturi.” She called the daasi awaiting her orders.
“Humara palki taiyyar karo. Hum… abhike abhi niklenge.”
“Kaha?” Her mother asked in awe as they turned to face her.
“Wohh kakisa…” Saubhagyawati stopped at her hand gesture.
“Vrindavan.” Ajabdeh walked away as her mother looked worried.

The streets of Vrindavan were filled with Krishna’s chants and stories. From the curtains of her Palki, she could make out the temples, the narrow lanes, and the riversides. After travelling for two days, they reached the lonely huts of the Ashram.
“Baisa.” The daasi called softly. “Hum aa gaye.”
“ Humare liye jo vastra abhushan hum ne mangwaye thee, aap laye na?”
“Ji baisa.” The Daasi held out the bundle.

Maharani Jaivanta Bai was just another hermit here. The children called her Mausirani, and spent time with her listening to her stories and lessons. Her days were spent in the Lord’s name, and she had learned to control her urge to know the news from Chittorgarh. She was sure he was in good hands. After all, Ajabdeh was as much her choice as his.

“Sita ji vanvas gaye, bina Ram ji ko sawal kiye aisa kyun?” An innocent voice asked. She smiled, remembering another boy had asked her the same, the boy she had left behind, her life, her heart…
“Kyunki…” A voice behind her broke her trance, “ Sita ji nahi chahte thee ke unke karan Ram ji ka rajdharm vrast ho. Raghukul ki writ hai, Rajdharm ko ve sarvapari mante hai.”

She looked wide-eyed at the one in front of her. Not a single piece of jewellery on her, she was wearing the saffron attire she once heard Meera Ma had adorned, that of the saint, the wanderer. Rudyaksh's jewellery and her hair were left open. Her heart skipped a beat.
“Ajabdeh?” She frowned, worried.
“Ranima.” She smiled with teary eyes before running to hug her. Jaivanta Bai cupped her face in worry and anxiety.
“Hua kya hai?” She dreaded the answer more because Ajabdeh smiled in her tears.

Chittorgarh was lit up in its glory for a marriage. Marriage at the Bhattiyani queen’s will. She had tried to again make relations with Marwar in vain, as Ranaji opposed, but Sajja bai’s sheepish niece, Pur Bai Solankhini, was better than a certain Jaivanta Bai’s reflection any day. With a look and a smile at her, she was already scared of the “Chotima.” The girl seemed half dead at the thought of who she was marrying, adding to that the rumours that flew about the marriage, the wife at Bijolia and his mother. Which princess would even dare talk to him?

“Dadabhai kya yeh sahi hai?” Kunwar Vikram had frowned at Kunwar Shakti for the third time.
“Hush.” He had stopped his brother just as Kunwar Pratap entered his face, all calm, unreadable.
“Dadabhai hum ko apse baat karni hai.”
“ Bhai Shakti hum…” his words were interrupted by a sevak.
“Ranaji ne sabko tilak ke liye bulaya.”  The brothers looked at each other in silence.

Kunwar Pratap was walking down the corridors with his brothers in tow. Something kind of made him restless. Was it marriage all over again, or the fact that these two, who were always in secret support of Ajabdeh Baisa, didn’t even utter a single word to him against this, even when Chotima instructed no invitation to reach Bijolia… Why was he even thinking of the girl who… He breathed in. Kartavya Kunwar Pratap, Raghukul ke kartavya.

It was time to meet the people of Chittorgarh before the tilak as he appeared in the window of Appearances with his father, who was beaming proudly.
“Kunwar Pratap ki Jai!” The crowd cheered at his humble, folded hands.
“Dadabhai, Chotima aarti ke liye bula rahi hai.” Vikram smiled, beaming. He frowned at his brother’s over-excited pitch before walking away.

“Dadabhai Shakti aap nishchit hai ke…” Vikram whispered.
“Jis Bhabisa ko hum jante hai, ve chup nahi baithengi. Aur agar hum sahi hai, toh… shayed badima…” Shakti nodded, hopeful.

The Bhattiyani queen Dheerbai was dressed up in her glory today. After years of patience, she was finally going to taste victory. Or so she thought.
“Chotima?” Kunwar Pratap’s unsure voice made her turn with a smile, while Kunwar Jagmal looked displeased at his mother’s happiness.
“Chaliye Kunwar Pratap, aarti thaal taiyaar hai, purvajo ke kaksh mein.” She led him out to the hall where the family waited.

Purbai was putting on her jewellery, helped by her mother, aunt and sisters. Some words around the palace still haunted her. 
“She” was irreplaceable. 
“She”, who was never to be named. 
“She” committed a crime as per the rumours, the crime of taking his mother away. 
“She”, who always ruled his heart. 
Where was the Solankhini princess going to stand in this palace? She wondered at the happy faces. This alliance was needed. That’s all she knew. For her father, for Sajja Bua. Veiled as per the norms, she walked to the hall of the ancestors. Big room, portraits, and Lord Rama’s idol. She looked around. Smiling faces. His… however, full of responsibility and… sadness?

Kunwar Pratap could actually make out that not a single soul in this room felt what he felt each time he came here, the goosebumps, and the lump in his throat. The feeling he had once shared with his mother and… He closed his eyes and took a short breath, inhaling. For once, he wished this girl felt that way; at least then, they could even try to be friends. But he knew she didn’t. Like all the others, she saw a big room. Nothing else. She was not….” her”

“ Vaar ki maa aarti kare.” The panditji instructed, “Pehle Vadhu ki… phir…”
Rani Dheerbai took the aarti thaal from a not-so-pleased Sajja bai and walked towards the girl. Kunwar Pratap looked away as the scene haunted him with memories.
“Ruk Jaiye Dheerbaiji.” The voice ran a shiver down his spine. 

Udai Singh couldn’t believe his eyes as he saw Jaivanta Bai standing at the threshold of the hallway. Bending down at the threshold, she touched it with her forehead and the Maharani of Mewar walked in, dignified, in all her grace.
“Ranima”, Kunwar Pratap’s voice choked as Dheerbai looked at her like she had seen a ghost.
“Jija” Sajja Bai was the first to reach for the hug.

She stared coldly at the Bhattiyani queen before walking up to her husband. As Kunwar Pratap came for a hug, she stopped him with a hand gesture. She was clearly displeased. Purbai was already in awe of this lady’s grace and dignity, but unsure whether to approach her.
“Ranaji.” Her voice echoed throughout the hall. “Yeh sab kya hai?”
“Jaivanta hum…” Udai Singh looked shocked. She shows up after months, in a Sanyasini attire, asking him questions about something he had not decided and had no clue she knew. The Jaivanta he knew, however, didn’t surprise him.

“Ek patni ke hote huye, unke sehmati ke bina Pratap ki koi vivah kaise ho sakta hai?” She stared at her son, disappointed as he looked away. “Bataiye?”
“Waise bhi, aapse kisne keh diya ke hum mahal Ajabdeh ke liye chod ke gaye?” Her words shocked both father and son as Shakti smiled victoriously at Vikram. A gasp followed from the ladies.
“Pratap?  Aapse aise bhool ki toh hum e apeksha nahi thi.”
“Ranima woh Patra…” His mouth went dry. His heart sank, beating. 
She was not the reason?
“Grina karte hai na aap humse, karte rahiye ghrina, lekin humne toh aapse prem kia tha Kunwar Pratap hum prem hi karte rahenge…” 
Her last words haunted him like never before. He should have listened once. Just once.

“Ajabdeh.” His voice shook as the hall full of people stared at him. In months, he had taken that name out loud, and yes, his shaking voice proved much more than guilt. He missed her, his shadow; he was miserable and alone, and none could replace her ever. He had hated to admit all those to himself, but he knew it. His voice made Pur Bai look up and smile faintly. She who ruled his heart. It was all true!

“Ha Ajabdeh.” Jaivanta’s voice was calm and firm.
“Jija, accha hua aap aa gayi thoda vishram…” Dheerbai stopped at her cold stare.
“ Ranaji apko lagta hai jis Ajabdeh ko hum ne beti mana tha uske upar aarop lagake hum mahal chod denge? Kyun?” Her question made Udai Singh restless.
“Lekin phir kaun…” Sajja asked what Shakti wished she did.
“Umm woh ab…” Dheerbai started as Jaivanta Bai answered, “Wohh abhi baad mein dekhenge.”
“Ab?” Shakti asked, staring at a visibly moved Pratap. “Bhabisa ke paas kaun jaega?”
“Aur yeh vivah?” Purbai’s mother looked troubled.
“Vivah avashya hoga.” Jaivanta Bai answered, smiling. “Hum vachano se murte nahi hai. Lekin, Ajabdeh ke sehmati se.”

Her words made Kunwar Pratap look up. He knew what he had to face now. An apology was not enough for what had happened, and then there was a wedding. A wedding, Ajabdeh will need to approve. The Ajabdeh he knew would cry out to her Kanha, but approve it with a smile as brave as it would scare him. He had seen her do that before. For the greater good.

“Ajabdeh Baisa Bijolia mein nahi hai.” Rawatji entered as the crowd stared at him.
“Kya? Kya matlab nahi hai?” Udai Singh frowned.
“Ve teen din pehle hi waha se nikal gayi, kisi ko nahi pata kaha gayi hai.” Rawatji nodded as Kunwar Pratap looked distraught. 
Jaivanta smiled, instructing Dheerbaiji.
“Jab tak yeh vivah nahi hota hum yehi rukenge, aur haan humare ek khaas Atithi ayenge kal, unko bhi humare kamre mein rehne ki vyavastha karva dijiye.”

“Kaun Atithi?” Udai Singh frowned.
“Humare Pratap ke vivah hai.” Her voice was clearly taunting, “Aur humne ek Atithi bulai, uspe sawal? Koi humare kamre mein nahi aenge. Hum ko shanti chahiye, aur vivah hote hi hum chale jaenge.” She spoke firmly.
“Kunwar Pratap.” She touched his shoulders lightly, and he felt like crying, hugging her. 
“ Hum e pata hai, jo sahi hai, aap wohi karenge.” Her smile made him guilty. Where was Ajabdeh?




Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Sibling's Day

By
Shakti always had a very strict sibling equation with Pratap. Though they were only two years apart, the siblings had very different tastes and preferences. For Shakti,  Pratap's disciplined and well-planned life looked like he was missing out on a lot of things. He sometimes didn't even approve of how impulsive Pratap was when he was emotional. Shakti, on the other hand, prioritised experiences over plans. He never found a need to feel deeply for anything the way Pratap did, and over the years, mostly in  Pratap's absence from the family, he had managed to find a way with his parents. But he didn't really have any other elder sibling figure. All his cousins' sisters were close to him and younger. But with Ajabdeh, he had developed this very strong connection over the past few weeks. As a child, Shakti's playmate in the house used to be Sajja, while his father worked, his mother ran NGOs, and Pratap was always found with his head in a book. Ajabdeh was up for an...
Read More

My Everything

By
Kunwar Pratap stormed into the Mahal at Gogunda amidst uncertainty and chaos. Happy faces of the chieftains and soldiers welcomed him as Rawat Chundawat, and some other chieftains stopped the ongoing Raj Tilak. A visibly scared Kunwar Jagmal looked clueless at a visibly angry Kunwar Pratap. Rani Dheerbai Bhatiyani hadn't expected Kunwar Pratap to show up, that too, despite her conveying to him his father's last wish of crowning Kunwar Jagmal. Twenty-one days after Udai Singh's death, she was finally close to a dream she had dared to dream since Jagmal was born. He was not informed about the Raj Tilak as per Dheerbai's instructions. She eyed Rawat Ji. He must have assembled the chiefs to this revolt against her son, against the dead king. No one except them knew where Kunwar Pratap was staying. It was for the safety of his family. " What are you doing, Chotima?" A disappointed voice was directed at her. She could stoop down so low? For the first time, an anger...
Read More

Purnota: Chapter Forty Four

By
Aniruddha tapped his black loafers on the Italian marble floor of the entrance as he eyed his watch.  It was almost half past five. He checked himself in the full-size mirror beside the coat hanger, looking fresh as he shaved and bathed, set his hair, chose a white summer blazer over his black shirt and trousers and abandoned the idea of a tie. He cleaned his glasses with the handkerchief, contemplating whether he should knock at Asha’s door, telling Bondita to hurry. He wondered what the women were doing there for such a long time. He could hear them giggling and gossiping as he walked past the room. He wondered what huge deal a party was that a woman needed another to help her dress up. He took out his phone and wondered if he should call her downstairs instead to avoid the awkwardness of knocking on the door. It was then that Aniruddha heard footsteps on the stairs and looked up in a reflex. He would give her a piece of his mind for wasting precious moments, especially when they...
Read More

AAYA TERE DAR PAR DEEWANA

By
Pratap was outside the gates of Meera Girls College in Udaipur by the next afternoon, unsure of whether to go in and ask for her. He spotted a few girls walking out, and one of them kept staring at him suspiciously before approaching him. He stood in his spot, still awkward as she asked, “Aren’t you that ASI guy that Roshni met?” “I… what?” Pratap narrowed his eyes “I am sorry, I don’t remember you.” “I am Mahek.” The girl waved her hand and smiled, “I was with her at Chawand.” “Oh, I see.” Pratap sighed. “I found some information that might help her …err… project.” He stopped at Mahek’s suspicious frown. “So I thought…” “You came all the way here to give her some information about her project?” Pratap cursed himself inwardly. Indeed, that sounded lame when she repeated it. “Why didn’t you call her?” “I…” He cleared his throat “I lost her number, so… I was hoping that she would be interested in an on-field internship…” “Oh, wait, I will give you her number. But she isn’t here, and I do...
Read More

His Wife

By
" Where is the Kesar, Rama? And the Kalash?" Ajabdeh looked visibly displeased at the ladies who ran around. " They are at the fort gates, and nothing is ready yet!" She exclaimed. She was clad in a red lehenga and the jewellery she had inherited as the first Kunwarani of the crown prince. Little Amar ran down the hallway towards his mother. " Maasa Maasa... who is coming with Daajiraj?" His innocent question made her heart sink. " Bhanwar Ji." Sajja Bai called out to him. " Come here, I will tell you." Amar rushed to his Majhli Dadisa., " Ajabdeh." She turned at Jaivanta Bai's call. "They are here." " M... My Aarti thali..." Ajabde looked lost like never before. Jaivanta Bai held her stone-cold hands, making her stop. She patted her head and gave her a hug. The hug gave her the comfort she was looking for as her racing heart calmed down. Jaivanta Bai left her alone with her thaal. " Maa sa!" ...
Read More

Purnota: Chapter Forty Three

By
Trilochon and Kalindi were having tea in the morning in their living room when Binoy walked downstairs in his Pajama Panjabi, pipe in hand and found them. Watching him unusually in his home attire, Trilochon frowned. “Are you sick? I thought you had already left.” Binoy sat down on the single chaise chair beside the couch as Kalindi poured some tea for him.  “ I told you, Dada, I am here to retire.” He said, putting his pipe in his pocket. “Today, Som is going alone. We will see how that goes.” Their conversation was interrupted by Asha coming into the house in a white and red saree, with a red sindoor Teep on her forehead. She had a basket with her, and Koeli was accompanying her as she offered them the sweets she had taken as Prasad. “Since it’s his first day at the new position, we went to the temple together.” Asha narrated to Kalindi. “He left for work from there.” “Do you not have school today?” Kalindi enquired as Asha shook her head. She smiled, eyeing Trilochon, who narra...
Read More

Purnota: Chapter Forty Five

By
Aniruddha stared at the clock on his chamber wall for the third time and verified its working condition by checking it with his watch. He had asked Bondita to come to his chambers at six. It was almost six-ten and there was no sign of her. The peon he had sent to call her in had also left. He wondered if she had gone home earlier than usual. But then would she not have informed him? He eyed the partnership deed he had prepared to be signed, going through the terms one last time before he decided to go downstairs and see where she was for himself. As soon as Aniruddha got up, taking the coat from behind his chair to go, gathering the paperwork of the deed, a knock resonated on the door as he straightened his glasses and found his most professional voice to ask her to come in. Bondita looked a little breathless as though she had run up the stairs and apologised in a hurry, “Sorry, sorry… Meghna had some issues with her computer.” “There is a tech guy for that.” He narrowed his brows slig...
Read More

The Adventure of PI Ved: The Case in London

By
There is something funny about the phrase “as dead as a doornail.” Why? Because I am dead and I don’t look like a nail of any sort. I lie on my living room carpet, hands stretched out, the knife stuck to my back...such a backstabber. I hated them all my life! And what is the purpose of killing me? It is not like I would have lived much longer, I was eighty-five, for God’s sake! I lay here, the blood turning thick as I stared at the painting on the wall. It is such a hideous painting. I bought it for so much money, I was duped. I am waiting for the morning when my caregiver arrives to discover me on the floor. But I feel they are still around, looking for something. Searching every room.  It is around 7 AM that she rings the bell. She bangs the door. She yells out, “Mr Smith!” Oh no, she is going back. Come back here, you fool! The criminal must still be upstairs. I hear them come down the wooden staircase and exit from the back door. Now the useless caregiver lady is back. Oh, she ...
Read More

Purnota: Epilogue

By
“Hello?” Saudamini’s voice was heard on the other end of the telephone as Aniruddha breathed in. “Mini, this is Aniruddha.” “Oh, Ani, how are you? How is Bondita?” Her voice changed from doubtful to excited. Aniruddha was standing by the couch in the living room with a phone book on the coffee table and a sheet of paper with a guest list in his hand. The mention of Bondita made him involuntarily eye the visible corridor to the dining area, where he could hear her voice, instructing Koeli. Ever since the marriage, she seemed to have taken up the job of ordering everyone around the house like a true landlord, and even he was not spared from her occasional orders. That is exactly how he had landed on the couch with a phone book. “Umm… she is good. Everyone’s good. I’m calling because…” “Oh, do tell her I truly apologise for not attending the wedding. I know she was disappointed with me and thought it was some payback for her not attending mine.” An amused smile formed on Aniruddha’s lips ...
Read More

Embracing Truths

By
Rana Udai Singh had sent his Senapati Kunwar Partap back to Chittorgarh because Dungarpur had summoned them to the battlefield. How did a friendly visit culminate in a war? Rumours spread faster than wildfires in Mewar. Rana Udai Singh was attending a Mehfil where he liked one of the King’s best dancers. He wanted to take her back to Chittorgarh, and the king, who took pride in art, refused to part with his best dancer. Udai Singh, at the height of intoxication, abused the king, insulted his dynasty and almost forced the dancer girl to follow him, leading to an altercation. What he expected now was for Kunwar Partap to lead an army to Dungarpur, wage a war and force the king to apologise. Kunwar Partap was appalled by what he heard from the soldier. Could the Rana not understand that he could not make any more enemies? He asked his troops to prepare to leave and informed Raoji. Ajbante Kanwar ran down the corridor to her chambers as fast as she could. She did not care if anyone saw her...
Read More