Haunting Past

It started to rain by the time Hansa prepared breakfast. A storm brewed outside as Survi stood at the window, worried. If it rains like this all day, I can never see the Kalan, and I'm not leaving without answers.

“ I have never seen this kind of a storm in Bijolia”, Hansa said, surprised, “It’s raining like it will flood.” Pratap nodded in agreement. "Must be some calamity brewing." There was a knock on the front door as Hansa wondered, “ Who is here in this storm?”

Pratap went ahead to open the door as a lady came in, brushing off the rainwater, with a bag in her hand. She looked younger than Hansa, but they had a few similarities, like height and basic features that were clear indicators that they were related. She was more stylish than Hansa for sure. She frowned, displeased at the weather as she held the wet hem of her Anarkali suit.

“ Dheer Mausi?” Pratap hugged her as Hansa stared coldly at her sister's sudden, unannounced arrival. Survi stared at the lady. Something about her made her feel strangely uneasy. The lady stared right at her as if she saw a ghost.

“ Who is she?” She asked, displeased, pointing rudely at an awkward Survi in Hansa’s saree.

“ She is a guest, Mausi,” Pratap spoke up. “ She is a history student and…”

“ How many times have I told you that it's not safe to let strangers stay? When will your mother stop running a homestay?” Her tone shocked Survi as she eyed Hansa awkwardly, “ My father’s home has been turned into a Dharmshala, is it Jija?”

“ Mausi…” Pratap tried to explain. He eyed Survi awkwardly, "She is a guest, not a tenant."

“ No, Pratap, do you people not know that it’s so unsafe nowadays?”

“ She is right,” Survi spoke up as Hansa and Pratap looked at her wide-eyed. “ I should leave. I'm overwhelmed by my stay.”

“ Survi Beta, there is a storm outside,” Hansa said, alarmed. "Don't be naive."

“ It’s just a storm, Aunty.” She spoke, taking her backpack. “ Here is my number. If my luggage arrives, tell them to call me and I will courier your saree back as soon as possible." She eyed Pratap, who opened his mouth to protest as she walked past the newly arrived family member, feeling humiliated.

 In a minute, Hansa managed to say, “Pratap, stop her.” He ran to find his car keys as Dheer scolded, “Jija! It's raining. Where are you sending him?”

Survi was walking down the empty lane in the downpour in her saree, with her backpack. She was murmuring curses to herself.

“How can you be so stupid? You just barged into someone’s home. That too over some stupid voices in your head. Bin baat ki insult ki uss Buddhi ne! Damn it! Where is the way outta this place?”

She looked around. The storm had prompted the makeshift shops to close, and not a soul was in sight. She walked ahead and found a broken wall of an ancient building. She walked across it and found the base of what was once a palace. The pillars stood half-broken still in some areas. She sat down on one of the boulders.

“ Where will I find the Bus stop by midday?” She wondered. As the wind blew strongly, she felt the voices come back again.

“ Ajabdeh, Ajabdeh? “ It was Hansa Aunty again.

“ Khamma Gani… aap??” a man spoke.

“ Arree aree dekho kaise Sharma rahi hai Bindni.” Laughs, Giggles.

“ Kunwar Pratap! Kunwar Pratap” It was her own voice now. 

She tried to stop the noises by putting her hands on her ears.

“ Stop Stop Stop,, she shouted.

Pratap found her on the boulder as the rain turned into a drizzle.
She seemed like she was crying, “ Stop Stop Stop. Please,” She held her ears.

“ The voices again?” Made her look up at him as she wiped away the tears.

“ Look, you … go… I….”

“ Did you hear that?” He looked around as she stared, cluelessly.

“ Hear what?” She was looking around.

“ Drumrolls, shehnai…” He stared around. “ Who is getting married in this deserted area?”

“ Umm, Mr Singh. I can hear nothing.” She looked confused as he stared at her. He shook his head, and the noise was gone. She looked scared.

“ Maybe… I think… umm… I should get some help.” She looked annoyed. “ I will go mad.”

“ I have been hearing the voices for a long time, they are like a part of me, but with you, it started recently…”

“ Do you think the symptoms we have are linked? Like in a disease?” She looked scared.

“ We are not sick, Survi. Trust me.”

“ Where is the Kalan?” She tried to shake off the fear.

“ You are standing on it.” He smiled.

Her eyes went wide as she looked around at the pillars.

The clouds had given way to the sun, a little as she moved from pillar to pillar, he watched her. She got the flashes again, curtains, mandap, flowers. She kept them to herself.

He heard his own voice call out.

Ajabdeh? Ajabdeh. Hum apko nahi chor sakte, aap hum pe biswas rakhiye… hum sab theek kar denge.

Ajabdeh? Survi had spoken so much of the lady, now he was hearing it….He closed his eyes again, and as he opened them, he saw her slip. He grabbed her by the hand, preventing a fall.

“Pratap!!!!!”
She exclaimed, scared as he looked wide-eyed. The voices he heard in the corridors of the temple ever since he was a little kid were hers? He looked scared, sweating.

“ Say that again.”

“ What? Pratap?” Survi sounded unsure. He was sure.

“ What happened?” She asked again, and he shook his head. It Can’t be! I don’t know her.

“ What is that?” She pointed at the temple at a distance.

“ Shiva Temple. Let's go.” He felt uneasy.

The Purohit smiled at Pratap. He was giving devotees the sindoor tilak after the puja. As he put the tilak on his forehead, she looked at him. She felt she had seen him with the tilak before. She felt… attracted? She shook off the feeling as she said, “I should leave. The rain has stopped.”

“ You are going home with me, and that’s final. Maasa will not hear any excuses. Leave the day after tomorrow like it’s scheduled.” She didn’t protest. After all, she had nowhere to go. Ego was a stupid thing to show in this situation.

As she walked in with him, Hansa hugged her, pleased, while Dheer stared.

“ Mausi, apologise to her.” His voice made Survi surprised. He was angry.

“ Pratap…”

“Apologise.” He was stern.

“Am… Sorry, Survi.” She said as Survi added, “ It’s okay. I should go change.” She looked at her luggage that Hansa had kept, knowing fully well her son would bring her back.

That night, Pratap shifted restlessly in his sleep. He had a dream. In his dream was … Survi? In wedding attire, she looked much younger. He was filling her hairline with sindoor. He got up restless. What was that? He gathered he needed some fresh air. He walked out on the roof and found Survi there.

Survi couldn’t sleep. As soon as she tried to sleep, she heard voices. A very familiar voice she couldn’t place.

Ajabdeh aap hum e chod ke nahi jaa saakti, Bhagwan Das abhi bacche hai. Ajabdeh sunn rahi hai aap…

She was sleeping with great difficulty when she had a dream. That’s when she woke and realised she couldn't sleep that night.

She had walked out on the roof for some peace until he walked out.

“ Bad dream?” He asked as she nodded.

“ I saw I was lost in a jungle… and then I found a hut.” She tried to recollect.

“ A hut?”

“ Yes. Like some tribal hut.” He stared at her like he was trying to place her in his dream. She stared back in silence.

"I think you should try to sleep." He suggested, "You look tired."

"Why don't you sleep?" She asked as he eyed her. 
"I'm scared that if I try, I will see some haunting dream again." He said truthfully. 

"Me too. What is happening to us, Mr. Singh?" She looked unsure of him as he shrugged. "I believe everything happens for a reason, Survi. We found each other for some reason, and we have to wait for the right time to understand why." She watched him retreat to his room.

Pratap shut the door behind him and inhaled. There was something oddly attractive about Survi that he could not place. He did not trust himself to be less vulnerable around her. He was scared of this sudden feeling of familiarity that Survi brought with her. The woman he had never met in his life, and whose life story was very different from his. How did he end up with these strange feelings for a woman he barely knew?

Early in the morning, Survi got dressed and came downstairs to find Hansa busy preparing for Janmastami. The rain clouds hovered around the sky still, making the sun play hide and seek with them as the courtyard of the Punwar house was being cleaned and decked up for the pujas.

“ Come help me with the Janmashtami preparations.” Hansa offered to Survi as she watched her observe everything eagerly. “Do you know any Bhajan?”

Survi shook her head, “ No. I don’t, Maasa… I mean Aunty.”

“ Aree, Maasa nikla hai toh wohi bulao.” She smiled. " Waise bhi meri beti jaisi ho." made her feel a certain sadness she couldn't place. Then she remembered a Bhajan her mother used to sing.

“ I remember once at my Nani's place in Jalore, Mom sang one. Nanisa used to sing it very often.” 

“Sing it then.”

Aakhiyaan Hari Darsan Ko Pyaasi…. Aakhiyaan.... Hari Darsan Ko Pyaasi
Din kyun Chahat Komal Nayan ko, Nisdin rehta Udaasi.... 

Pratap stood still as a shiver ran down his spine. He rushed out of his room to check who was singing that familiar song. As soon as he spotted her with his mother, his stomach churned.

“ The tune…. It’s not right.” He spoke like he was not in control of the words. Everyone stared at him like he was a ghost.
" But Pratap..." His mother stared in surprise at how he knew that.

“Yes, He is correct. Survi, when will you learn?” The voice made them turn, and Survi’s eyes went wide.

“ Mom? You are here? How??” She ran to hug her mother.

“ I got Mahek’s call. Then I called your hotel and got the address from the Car services. You didn't think I would let you go alone like that, did you?" She rebuked. "Now that I am here too, I want to see Haldighati” She smiled at her daughter. She hugged her mother again, saying that she was glad she came by, telling her that the house was a homestay that belonged to Hansa and introducing them as Hansa looked at them, pleased.

“ Welcome, Behenji." She folded her hands, "Your daughter is a very warm and kind-hearted soul. She just came here for a few days, and I have formed an attachment to her as if I knew her for decades." Hansa's words made Survi's smile disappear as her eyes involuntarily turned to Pratap, who stared at them, frozen to his spot, his face unreadable.

“Call me Jaivanta.”

“Aap hi gaa dijiye sahi Bhajan.” She stared at her son, “ Waise Pratap, I didn’t know you knew this Bhajan. I never heard this one.” Pratap felt uneasy as he found himself staring at the older woman who stood hugging Survi in her arms. 

“ Mom, these people helped me a lot. This is Mr Singh and Mausi.” Survi introduced them.

“ Thank you so much, Beta.” Jaivanta smiled at Pratap. " My daughter has this impulsive nature. She goes on a two-day holiday and makes it ten." She eyed Survi disapprovingly again, "I hope she did not cause any hindrance."

"No... Not at all." Pratap cleared his throat as he found his voice, "Umm... aunty..."

As soon as she started singing, Pratap felt goosebumps. He had flashes of himself in front of Lord Krishna as the same voice sang this same song. He could stand there no longer. He walked out, and  Survi followed him out, seeing he had been disturbed ever since her mother arrived.

“ Are you okay?” She asked, tapping on his shoulder gently.
“No, I am not, I really am not!” He looked scared and confused.

“ What’s wrong?” She asked with a frown.

“ Does it ever happen that dreams come true and they really like…. Scare you?” He stared at her, looking for answers. This stranger looked like…. A soul he knew for time immortal.

“ Yes.” She replied, her eyes not leaving his. “ But why?”

“ Nothing… Can I ask you something?” He asked as she nodded.

“ How did you look as a teenager… I mean..” He looked disturbed.  “ I mean, were you a little…err… healthier before?”

“ Chubby? Yes?” She looked shocked. “ How do you know?” He stared at her, speechless. "I don't know, Survi. I feel like I don't know myself any more." He stared at her, and Survi suddenly felt like she could not breathe. She reminded herself to breathe as his gaze held hers.

She broke the trance with “Kal…. I… we… are going to Haldighati... me and mom… You want to come?”

“ Yes, I have never been there.” He smiled, shrugging. "But this holiday makes me feel like am working..."

“  If you don’t want to go…”

“ No, no, I want to.” He spoke up.

“ I am sorry.” Survi sounded unsure. "Ever since I came here, you seem upset."

“ No, Survi, I need the answers too.” This made her nod reassuringly at him. “ And … stop calling me Mr Singh. Call me Pratap.” He managed, fully aware that every time she took his name, he felt weird.

Why does her every gesture look familiar? Is it really what I think it is? How can it be? THOSE HAPPEN IN FILMS. She cannot be my…I am just attracted to her. Yes. It's just that ever since I met her, I feel a connection for the similar kind of things we face. But her eyes... Where have I seen them before?

" Umm... Pratap..." She felt uneasy at his gaze as he looked away. " What if we never find the answers? I mean I am leaving the day after tomorrow and..."
" Will you remember everything once you... reach Delhi?" He asked worriedly.
"Of course, I will. I ... want to know..."
" Then maybe you can give me a call..." His words made her look at him as he quickly added, " That is if you find something... I mean." He managed a smile as she smiled back, nodding.