The New Life

“Home is a feeling of love and protection, not a place or kin.”

A year had almost passed by in a trance for Kunwarani Ajbante Kanwar. She tried to blend with the ladies of the Ranimahal at Chittorgarh. Especially with Kunwar Partap away on most days, she spent her time with the princesses and lesser queens of Rana Udai Singh. She had learnt many things over the past year. The most important lesson was not to show her opinions to everyone. Ranima loved her like a daughter, and she was mesmerised by the kind of diplomacy and wit Ranima carried. She had learnt to be diplomatic herself, enough to survive in peace between the politics of the Ranimahal. She had realised that the Ranimahal was divided by opinions and united by their festivities. In any festival, from Diwali to Holi to Gangaur, she loved how the whole family came together in celebration. 

On all other days, however, she felt cold vibes between the queens, princesses and princes. She tried to befriend some of the princesses who were polite enough, as per the decorum to their Kunwarani. But none of them appealed to her like Heer Kanwar did. When she left for Jallore, Ajbante Baisa truly missed a friend. With Kunwar Partap and Kunwar Shakta away for most of the time, except in festivities, Ajbante Baisa learned to knit and sew from both their mothers. She carefully stayed away from some people who still seemed to judge her moves and spent her days writing to her mother, Ratan Baisa and Kunwar Partap.

Ajbante Baisa felt blessed that, unlike the queens who dressed and tried hard to get Ranaji’s attention, she never had to try the same with Kunwar Partap. Maybe because they were newlyweds. Or so the ladies said. They teased her every time they looked all over the Ranimahal for her, making her blush. And after each battle or camp, when Kunwar Partap returned home, she knew it was always to her. As he often told her tales of his adventures and sought her advice, Kunwarani Ajbante Baisa still gave her husband advice on administration and strategies, which he happily accepted.

She had also been busy with the wedding preparations of Kunwar Shakta with Kunwarani Heer Baisa in the summer as well. They left for Mandalgarh soon after, along with Rani Sajja Bai, as the rumour of another tiff with his father spread across the Ranimahal. She often wondered which rumours to believe in and which to discard. Many times she heard rumours of an alliance offer arriving for Kunwar Partap, but never did he or Ranima speak to her about any. Maybe because they assumed she would be hurt. But ever since Ajbante Kanwar knew that she would eventually marry the heir to the throne, she had also prepared herself for alliances and everything else that came her way for the betterment of Mewar. Maybe Kunwar Partap was yet to discover the sides of her, to love and cherish like she discovered his. Most of his habits that annoyed her made him smile, and every time he laughed, Ajbante Kanwar felt a little more in love.

Gossip had reached Ajbante Kanwar’s ears that Kunwarani Heer Kanwar was going to conceive soon, and Kunwar Shakta, being ten months younger than his brother, was to claim an equal right to the throne for himself and his heir. Many of the ladies suggested to Maharani Jivanta Bai that the only way to stop it was to ensure Kunwar Partap’s heir came first. The Maharani never paid heed to such rumours, and Ajbante Baisa found it hard to believe that Kunwar Shakta would try to take away what rightfully belonged to his Dadabhai. But, even Ajbante Baisa was forced to doubt when Rani Sajja Bai left for Mandalgarh, teary-eyed and unsure, with Rana Udai Singh’s instructions.

The Battle of Haramada had ended in victory, and as the Ranimahal sang praises of Kunwar Partap’s able leadership, Kunwarani Ajbante Baisa thanked god that he was safe. He had written to his mother to expect him back home after the long camp in a week, and Jivanta Bai made sure that her son got a hero’s welcome. He had come home in a hurry and spoke about leaving in two days, as the empty feeling crawled back into Ajbante Kanwar’s heart. She longed for the company in her lonely days, away from him.

“Why don’t you marry one of those cousins of mine, Kunwarsa?” She had giggled at Kunwar Partap, who frowned at her not-so-amusing statements. “I will at least get a friend while you are away.”

“No one is a friend here.” He had stated matter-of-factly, watching her pack his things.

“They did eye you throughout the wedding!” Ajbante Baisa loved to tease her husband and see him feel awkward at the unwanted attention of the ladies.

“You are perhaps the first one to joke like this about a husband’s alliances. One day, I will bring home a girl, and you will regret it!” He spoke a little irked.

“No, I won’t!” Ajbante Baisa frowned “Haven’t you seen Ranima and Majhli Maasa?” She made him smile faintly.

“We will be best of friends!” She stared at the flickering lamp with a longing smile as she spoke.

“You feel that lonely here, do you?” He asked, a little concerned. Ajbante Baisa realised the tone of seriousness in his voice and chuckled to lighten his mood.

“No, I was just saying!” She spoke, closing his trunk, “When you become king, you too will have lots of wives!”

“Queens.” He corrected, “And you can boss them around like Ranima!”

“I would love that!” She smiled, “But you know what I would really love?”

“What?” he frowned.

“A united family, where I will have friends and sisters, where I won’t be scaring them, people will love each other, and brothers will fight for each other, not against...” She stopped at Kunwar Partap’s surprised glance.

“Well then, lady, you married into the wrong family.” He shrugged matter-of-factly.

“No! We make a family the way it is. We will make ours like that. You will see.” Kunwar Partap admired her words and was worried at the same time, knowing her dreams were almost impossible.

“All these can be left for later.” He had changed the topic: “I am not going for any alliances unless absolutely necessary.”

“I know.” Ajbante Baisa freighted sadness, “I will have to be lonely here for some more time!”

“We can have a solution to that!” his smirk made Ajbante Baisa widen her eyes and blush to look away.

A few days later, during the morning prayers, Ajbante’s head felt heavy, and she fainted on the floor of the Meera Bai Temple. The news reached the Maharani as the wet nurses were called to check on her health. Kunwar Partap was informed of her health conditions almost immediately as he rushed back home, halfway on his way to Kelwara.

Worried about her health, he stepped inside the Ranimahal and sought a small audience with his mother, who smiled at him, saying Ajbante Baisa was on bed rest. He had entered her chambers, rather worried to see a few nurses attending to her, with freshly cut fruits. She stopped fussing about the fruit her mother had sent when she saw him at the threshold.

At first, Ajbante Baisa thought she was dreaming, for he had left only a few days back, telling her firmly that he could not possibly be back before Holi, and here he was frowning at her.

“What’s wrong with you?” His tone made her look up at him like she was seeing a ghost. “You don’t eat enough, you keep quiet, and then you faint like that! How many times have I told you to...”

“Ranima didn’t tell you?” Her words made him frown and stop.

“Tell me what?” He asked cluelessly. She patted the place beside her on the bed as the nurses left them alone. He sat down urgently, asking, “Tell me what?”

Ajbante Kanwar gently placed his rough warrior hand over her belly and smiled. She had not felt any changes yet, but the desire to see a part of her and that of Kunwar Partap’s wiggling in her arms was growing inside her. Ever since she had heard the news, a scared and nervous Ajbante Kanwar had suddenly become the centre of attention of the Ranimahal. The Maharani herself had walked into her chambers for the first time and blessed her with a Nathni. Ladies visited her with gifts, and the security around her had tightened. 

Maharani Jivanta Bai made sure no food reached her before being personally checked by the queen herself. It was Mewar’s heir in question, and Jivanta Bai did not want to take any risks. Ajbante imagined how her days would pass caring for the newborn. If it were a boy, she would train him, just the way Ranima directed Kunwar Partap, and if it were a girl, she would teach her bits and pieces of self-defence and administration herself. Ajbante Baisa smiled at her own silly thoughts. It had just been a week into her pregnancy, and she had thought so much. And here he was, worried and clueless about the news that she had fainted. She assumed he had not received the letter she had written to him, because he had hurried back home at the first letter he received about her well-being.

Ajbante frowned as colour flushed from Kunwar Partap’s face. He stared a little awkwardly, with wide eyes, at her, then at her belly and back at her. Ajbante Baisa was unsure of what to make out of the reaction when he hugged her tightly, almost suffocating her in his embrace. He had to leave, however, in a day, for the work at Kelwara was important. She did not mind that, knowing very well that her husband put his motherland before everyone else. However, when she did his tilak, he stared at her with admiring, twinkling eyes full of worry. She smiled a reassuring smile, watching him mount his horse, while he looked back at her from a distance. Ajbante Kanwar was happy that she gave Kunwar Partap a reason to look back at home happily, with a reason to come back, at last.