Dharm yehi hai mera
The cotton white clouds floating against the blue sky, with a gentle breeze touching her ears in a whisper, made Bondita sigh at the sight as she looked up with a smile. With so much changing in her life over the past year, Bondita never had time to stand and reflect. Durga Puja always made her do that. How life was a year ago, and how it became a year later, always made her wonder. She stood on the rooftop, as the wet clothes on the line swayed around her in all colours, drying fast in the scorching sunlight. Bondita ran her hands through her wet hair and stood by the parapet watching the horizon beyond the jheels of the Zamindar house. The thick bushes of Kash Phul made the tall grasses look like clouds themselves. Bondita smiled to herself, remembering how Batuk taught her to play hide and seek among the tall grasses when they were children. Sampoorna walked up behind her, silently, with Koeli in tow, helping her with the bucket of wet clothes as she stopped at Bondita’s figure. Koeli left her bucket of clothes to dry.
“I didn’t know you were here.” Bondita glanced over her shoulder at Sampoorna’s words.
“I...yes… Didi, look at the Kash Bon!” She pointed with a hint of excitement. “It always feels like we are looking at it for the very first time!”
“Yes, it does.” Sampoorna smiled. “Do you remember our first Durga Puja here?” Bondita looked up at her words with a nod. She did, in bits and pieces like any eight-year-old would. She remembered crying and hugging Sampoorna as they both missed home. But then, this became home. Bondita hugged Sampoorna, taking her by surprise.
“Is something wrong?” Sampoorna asked, taken aback by the gesture.
“Didi, have you ever misjudged someone and regretted it?” She asked Sampoorna, who stared at her eyes glistening with tears.
“Did you fight with Aniruddha Babu?” She asked with a suspicious stare.
“No. It’s not that. It’s a friend. She… she…” Bondita stopped. She didn’t want Sampoorna to uncover old wounds.
“You know, I always thought that your Jamaibabu was losing interest in me.” Bondita looked up at her words. “He would stay out, days and weeks, mostly nights and not share anything. I always thought about giving him a child… Maybe that would tie him down to me...” Sampoorna stopped gently placing her hand over her belly “I never understood him.” She smiled faintly “Until he was gone and it was too late.”
“I apologise, Didi. I shouldn’t have…” Bondita shook her head, feeling guilty.
“Please don’t.” Sampoorna held her hand firmly between her palms “You are the only one left in my life who still talks of him. I like that. It’s like he is here, and he is watching us.”
“He would be very happy to see you as a mother.” Bondita smiled reassuringly.
“And you, as a Barrister.” Sampoorna smiled back.
“Bondita? Bouma?” Trilochan’s voice prompted Bondita to rush into the sitting area. She caught a glimpse of Bina with Nikhil sitting on the Thakur Dalan, watching eagerly as the artisan put colour to the clay idols. “Look what Aniruddha got!” Bondita stood a little wide-eyed as Aniruddha took help from Bihari to set up the radio. Trilochan looked curious. “What is the need to waste so much money on this?” He shook his head, “We have the gramophone already, which nobody listens to…”
“Jetha Moshai, this radio is very useful. You can hear the news of the world in real-time and not wait for tomorrow’s papers for it.” Aniruddha smiled.
“The world is at the brink of a war Dada, maybe that will be useful.” Binoy nodded, walking in, “Germany and England aren’t quite on the same page.”
“And we will pay the price for it once again.” Aniruddha shook his head.
“I hope this time is different.” Nikhil walked in to inspect the radio, followed by Bina.
“Oh, stop talking about such remorseful scenarios, all of you.” Bina shook her head “Show us how it works, Aniruddha.” She suggested eagerly as Aniruddha nodded.
“We can now hear the Mahalaya broadcast of Mahisashurmardini too.” Bina smiled.
Bondita observed Aniruddha going about instructing Bihari on how the box worked. She observed him.
Aniruddha had observed for the last few days how preoccupied and sad Bondita was ever since she heard of the unfortunate incident that led to Manorama’s disappearance.
“It is almost a curse to not know for sure.” She kept saying every night, “Especially for the parents. She would contact someone if she were alive, right?”
Aniruddha gathered that he needed to do something to shift Bondita’s focus back to the festivities and, more importantly, get her smile back. After a lot of brainstorming, almost on an impulse, he had taken a ride to Calcutta and brought the radio. He was aware that Trilochan Roy Chowdhury was not a fan of modern amenities, but he was also unsure how his perspective would change once he heard the All India Radio broadcast of Chandi Path. Aniruddha searched Bondita’s face for reactions. She was surprised, yet the smile was missing from her lips.
“We will all gather in the sitting area at four in the morning and listen together,” Bina suggested as everyone agreed.
“What is going on?” Somnath walked in and stopped eyeing the radio. “What is that?”
“A radio.” Bina shrugged.
“I know what it is, Pishima, I mean, what is it doing here?” He asked with a slight frown.
“Oh, Dadabhai brought it for us to hear the Mahalaya broadcast.” Nikhil smiled. Somnath looked up at his visibly pleased uncle and smiling father. He nodded and walked away from the sitting area.
“Dada.” Somnath stopped in the fairly well-lit downstairs corridor at Bondita’s call. “Is something wrong?” He glanced over his shoulder at Bondita’s frowning face as he half-turned to face her.
“No.” He shook his head. “What could be wrong?” He shrugged, “Now that you are here.”
“Dada, I am aware that your thinking is different from Barrister Babu’s and…” Somnath stepped back as Bondita stepped forward and lifted up his hand as a gesture to make her stop.
“Please, Boudi. Don’t try to advocate for your husband here. This is between us brothers and…”
“And I see none of you bothering to clear a simple misunderstanding. I am not talking in favour of Barrister Babu at all. If only you’d listen to me and…” Somnath sighed.
“Boudi, I am glad you and Asha get along. I really am. But I can’t force myself to get along with someone just because they are my siblings.” Somnath shook his head, “We are different people. I am sorry.”
“And that is it? You two will not have a conversation, like adults?” Somnath looked up at her words and silently walked away. Bondita sighed.
“I need to talk.” Aniruddha looked up from the book he was engrossed in at the study table at his wife, standing on the threshold of the room, arms on her waist, clearly displeased.
“What have I done now?” He asked, clueless and surprised.
“Have you talked to Somnath Dada?” She asked, raising her eyebrows as she walked up to the table. Aniruddha bookmarked his read and sighed.
“He didn’t either.”
“Are you the older one or is he?” She frowned. “Aren’t you supposed to…”Aniruddha looked up at her words.
“You want me to apologise even when I am not wrong?”
“I want you to speak to your younger brother and stop fighting.” Bondita narrowed her eyes. “It is Dugga Pujo!” She shrugged.
“Fine.” Aniruddha shook his head “We will see.” Disappointed with his response, Bondita walked past him to the bed.
“ Asha shouldn’t be deprived of her family because of you two! Some people aren’t that lucky to…” Bondita stopped as she folded the sarees kept in a heap at the foot of the bed.
“Did you like the radio?” Aniruddha asked, turning and leaning against his chair. Bondita nodded.
“You didn’t need to do that. I will be fine in a few days.” She said without looking at him.
“What?” Aniruddha acted surprised “Who told you that I…” He stopped at her cold stare.
Bondita visited the school to officially invite the teachers and students to the Durga Puja of the Roy Chowdhury house, when Koeli rushed there to inform her that she was needed at home. Worried for Ashapurna, she excused herself in a hurry and rushed to the mansion to find a bullock cart at the entrance of the Mansion. Bondita frowned as she entered the sitting area, unsure. Her Kaka was sitting there with Trilochan Roy Chowdhury who noticed her walk in.
“There she is, Bondita look, your Kaka has come with puja gifts for us all.” Bondita nodded with a smile.
“I will go get tea and…”
“No, No.” Das Babu got up and folded his hands, “I was just waiting for you. I better get going, I have a few more places to be at.”
“How is everyone?” Bondita asked with a nod.
“Fine,” he smiled “, Your mother will come by from Brindavan after the pujas. Does she write to you?” Bondita nodded. “She makes someone write to me for her.” She corrected him. “Oh, wait.”
Bondita rushed to the telephone table to fetch a pen and paper and scribbled something, “Kaka, this is my address in Calcutta. When she comes by, can you bring her there?” Das Babu and Trilochan exchanged confused glances. “I just want her to see I am doing fine.” Bondita smiled. “She hadn’t been convinced ever since she heard I was there.” Trilochan nodded understandingly. Das Babu agreed. He folded his hands. “I'd better be going.”
Bondita looked at the spread of clothes he had brought for everyone. It must have cost him a fortune. Bondita couldn’t help but wonder why the people who refused to look after her or her mother when they were penniless now spend a fortune to impress the Roy Chowdhury. The priorities of people and society were sometimes beyond her logical understanding.
“Divide the clothes and give them to everyone yourself,” Trilochan suggested as she nodded.
Bondita walked into Ashapurna’s room to find her reading a romance novel. Hearing footsteps she jumped to hide the book under her pillow making Bondita giggle.
“It is just me.” She shook her head “Are you reading romance novels again?”
“I… thought it was Pishima.” Ashapurna sighed in relief. “I saw the radio.”
“We will all hear it tomorrow. Well… Dada…” Bondita looked up at Ashapurna’s silent glance.
“What is that?” Ashapurna asked eagerly about the brown paper packet in her hand.
“This is for you, my Kaka came by.” Ashapurna smiled, opening the packet as a saree peeped out of it. “I will wear this for Shosti puja.” She smiled. Bondita nodded.
“Are you alright, Asha?” She asked as Ashapurna’s smile faded a little.
“Of course, Didibhai.” She nodded. “I am in the happiest time of my life.” She reassured Bondita who was not convinced.
Batuk Roy Chowdhury was welcomed on Shosti by a familiar crowd gathered in the Thakur Dalan for the idol was being given her weapons. He kept down his handbag and touched the feet of Binoy and Trilochan as his eyes searched the crowd.
“Batuk!” Asha walked in with slow and careful steps as she smiled at him, “You are finally home.”
“Yes, Boudi.” He nodded, noticing her baby bump.
“Any day now?” He asked as Ashapurna smiled.
“Where is…”
“Batuk!” He turned to see Bondita smiling at him, in a red saree, identical to that of Asha’s.
“Welcome home.”
“You too.” Batuk nodded as she pushed a Narkel Naru into his mouth. “Where are Dada and Dadabhai?” Ashapurna and Bondita exchanged glances that were not missed by Batuk as his smile faded slightly “Are they still…” He frowned.
“Your room is ready, go and get fresh.” Trilochan interrupted their conversation.
Aniruddha hugged Batuk as he walked into the study room, where he sat with Nikhil.
“How is Bombay, Batuk?” Nikhil asked, “Have you made friends?” He nodded with a smile.
“Yes, it is very different, almost like another world out there, but I am liking it.” He smiled.
“How is Calcutta?” He asked as Nikhil and Aniruddha nodded.
“Why are you here?” Bondita’s accusing tone made him turn, as Nikhil and Aniruddha smiled.
“I just came home, Boudi!” He shrugged.
“That is not even an excuse. There is Durga pujo at home. Do you know how much work is left? I have allocated everyone…” She stopped noticing Nikhil and Aniruddha. “Why are you two here?” She tapped her forehead with her palm in a hopeless look, “Hey Bhogoban! Discussing world politics won’t make things happen here, is it?” She frowned. “Thakurpo, go check the lights.”
“On my way.” He nodded, “I was about to…” Nikhil met Bondita’s cold stare and left in a hurry.
“Batuk, go help Kakababu check the accounts for the puja samagri.” She said, “Now!” Batuk nodded, folded his hands in a gesture and left, making Bondita smile a little. “And you…” She stared at her husband, lost in thought “What was it that you were supposed to do?” She said in a scolding tone, “Definitely not sit and read.” Aniruddha smiled. On one hand, he was happy to get his old Bondita back, and on the other, in the crowded house, he missed being alone with her. Bondita was always with someone or the other, doing something more important than the last time he saw her.
“Why are you smiling like that?” Bondita frowned. Aniruddha held her by the wrist and pulled her closer, taking Bondita by surprise. The house was full of people, villagers, workers, relatives, friends and family. She tried to shake her hand off his in vain, almost in a reflex as her ghomta fell off her head, making her stare a little wide-eyed at his smiling, amused face.
“I was supposed to pay attention here.” Aniruddha almost whispered into her ears as Bondita’s cheek grew warm.
“Someone… the house…” She stammered. Aniruddha let go of her hand as she stood transfixed in her spot, and he walked behind her to put the ghomta on her head again. Bondita felt like she could breathe again. “So what does the Malkin of the Roy Chowdhury house want me to do?” He whispered, almost breathing on her neck. As much as Bondita was scared of being seen by anyone walking by, she wished they weren’t. Bondita was well aware that ever since she heard of Manorama and the Durga puja preparations started, she hadn’t been there for him, not that he ever complained about it. But did she miss some privacy she is now used to in Calcutta? Maybe. Bondita gathered her thoughts and turned to face him. She could smell his musk perfume nearby and oddly notice a single thread sticking out of his Panjabi collar. Bondita took a step back “I…”
“Bouma?” Aniruddha jumped back as they heard Trilochan call out for her. His jump made Bondita step back, and her hand landed on the loose sheet of paper scribbles Aniruddha had been keeping for a case on the study table, and they fell down in a scatter. Before they could react to the flying papers all around the carpet, Trilochan was at the threshold, shaking his cane agitatedly.
“There you are, you know what Somnath did? I don’t know where his mind is nowadays. He forgot to invite the Brahmins of the village for tomorrow’s feast.” He shook his head.
“It’s alright, I will do it.” Aniruddha stepped in reassuringly. Bondita wondered how his voice was so normal. “After I clean up this mess she made.” Bondita shot him a glance as Trilochan looked around the study room mess. “How many times have I told you to stop running around?” He scolded.
“I was not…” Bondita was quick to protest.
“Then how did this happen?” Trilochan shook his head.
“Tell him, Bondita, how did this happen?” Aniruddha raised his brows, amused. Bondita fumed as she sat down on the carpet to pick up the sheets of paper. Trilochan walked away as Aniruddha sat down facing her, to help gather the papers in a stack, as he brushed his hand over hers, amused. Bondita shot him a cold glance, kept the papers on the table and left.
The Kolabou Snan at dawn prompted Bondita to gather the married women of the village alongside Bina, Malati and others at the pond side for the rituals.
“We are so happy that you are back home.” Malati smiled “ Bouma couldn’t come by. I hope it's a boy this time.” She murmured as Bondita controlled her urge to say something. “ You are staying till Asha Bouma’s good news, I hope?”
“Yes, she is.” Bina nodded, “Then she will be needed at Calcutta too. After all, she is a Mashi and a Jethi.” Bondita smiled.
“So when are we getting good news from you?” Malati asked Bondita as she looked up at her words, a little startled. Ever since she had stepped out of Tulsipur, the lack of relatives around made sure such questions were avoided.
“I … am studying…” She said softly.
“That is alright, you can do all that after a child, too,” Malati said.
“Better not delay the first child, it may lead to complications.” Bina agreed. Bondita smiled faintly and looked away. She missed Prabha Mashi at these times. The ladies made their way to the Thakur Dalan as the priests placed the Kolabou beside the Ganesha idol.
“It is so unfair to poor Kartik!” Batuk shrugged with his hands in his Panjabi pockets “Ganesh has a Kolabou, why is he the bachelor?” He made the ladies gather around the Thakur Dalan, making alpona, separating leaves and flowers and preparing the prasad to laugh at his words.
“Indeed. Batuk feels him way too much personally.” Bina teased as his brows shot up.
“I didn’t mean…”
“Oh yes, Bina, have to tell Thakurpo to get him a bride soon.” Malati agreed.
“Oh, Batuk will have a tough time getting approvals around here.” Sampoorna smiled while peeling some peas for the Bhog, “Especially his Boudis.”
“Oh, I am not picky.” Ashapurna shook her head “Didibhai will be.”
“I will be what?” Bondita asked, placing down a plate she had brought from the kitchen.
“Choosy of Batuk’s bride.” Bina smiled. Bondita’s eyes shot up as she looked at a helpless Batuk with a teasing smile.
“Please. I was only talking about Kartik!” He shrugged.
“How the handsome man is still unmarried,” Ashapurna added with a laugh.
“What’s the hurry?” Bondita smiled, “ He has to become something first.” Batuk sighed in relief at her words.
“Thank you, thank you!” He said, folding his hands, and making everyone laugh.
“And by then, he would probably choose his own bride and save us all some work!” Bondita added, sitting down beside Ashapurna, who agreed with a nod.
“And then he will forget his poor Boudis,” Ashapurna added as Batuk shook his head at both of them in disbelief and stomped off.
“I thought you two were my friends!” He made a face at them at the threshold, making them laugh some more.
“Look who is here, Asha Bouma?” Binoy stood at the threshold of the Thakur Dalan smiling as the laughter died down. The ladies pulled their ghomta closer as Ashapurna frowned at her parents at the threshold. Did they have the audacity to come by, uninvited? Somnath had watched them walk in and followed in a hurry while Aniruddha walked out of his study alongside Nikhil to see the Mukhopadhyays arrive. He frowned a little.
“Kakima.” Bondita smiled, hugging Asha’s mother as she stood up with a frown. “I am so happy you came.”
“How could we disobey your orders?” Mukhopadhyay Babu folded his hands and smiled.
“Orders?” Bondita raised her eyebrows with a smile, “If that is what you call a daughter inviting her family home, then…” She turned to Ashapurna, who still looked a little pale as she teared up. Bondita rushed to her and smiled.
“How could you even think I would not bring them over? They are your family. My family.” She hugged Ashapurna, teary, “Kakima was always there when I needed a motherly figure.”
“I don’t know how to… are you sure?” Ashapurna wiped away her tears. “I mean, I wouldn’t forgive anyone if I were you.” She looked up at Bondita, “You don’t have to do it for me.”
“I didn’t. I did it for me.” Bondita was reassured as Ashapurna walked up to her parents to greet them.
“Boudi?” Bondita looked up from the list of things she had ordered for the evening rituals as Somnath stood at the threshold of her old bedroom. “Can I come in?”
“Dada, what is this formality?” Bondita narrowed her brows, keeping aside the list “Did you forget how Batuk and I used to hide under your bed when you used to be in school?” She smiled, “Did we ever ask for your permission?”
“We are not kids anymore.” Somnath shrugged a little awkwardly.
“But we still are who we have been, to each other.” Bondita’s words made him look up at her “And that makes me warn you, this Bhai Phota, I am taking a double gift from you and Batuk, I missed Rakhi!” She narrowed her eyes “You won’t be spared.”
“Thank you.” Somnath smiled, making her stop, “For doing that for Asha.”
“Would you do something for your sister then?” Bondita asked as Somnath nodded.
“Dada?” Aniruddha turned at the steps of the Thakur Dalan as Somnath walked up to him. The crowd was gathering for the pujo, and the dhak played loudly. Aniruddha was taken aback by the sudden hug his brother gave him.
“I am sorry I…” Somnath stopped as Aniruddha shook his head.
“Let’s stop apologising and respecting each other’s differences of opinion?” He suggested, “Neither of us is wrong, Som.”
“That works for me.” He nodded as Aniruddha patted his back.
Truth be told, Aniruddha didn’t expect that. Neither did he expect Bondita to go behind his back and apologise to the Mukhopadhyays. He didn’t know for sure what she said or did, but he was sure that Bondita must have somehow convinced them and that came with a price. He was a little upset at her not talking to him about it.
Bondita couldn’t tell why for the whole of Saptami and Ashtami, he ignored her. He was busy with Nikhil, sharing a room with Batuk as more guests arrived, and Bondita couldn’t help but wonder what she did to upset him. Navami nights were always attached to a melancholy feeling. For once, Ashapurna and Sampoorna were relieved that the frenzy was over. They chatted over some paan and books about how everyone seemed to be giving them free maternity advice. Malati and Bina had taken over the kitchen, leaving Bondita at last in her room, with a book in hand. The men chatted about politics over cups of tea. The women gathered in the Thakur Dalan in groups to gossip. Bondita kept down the book and wondered, Where is Barrister Babu?
She tiptoed into their bedroom which he was sharing with Batuk and looked around the empty place. She opened the almirah, hoping to take out the clothes for Visarjan the next day, and her eyes fell on something familiar. His gown and graduation hat that he wore in the picture hung over the bedroom door. Bondita smiled.
“Why will I go up to the roof, Batuk?” Aniruddha was annoyed as his younger brother persuaded him. “It is dark, I can see the kash bon in the morning.”
“No, Dada, you don’t understand.” Batuk shook his head. “You have to go now!” Otherwise, I will lose out on the delicious payesh Bondita promised me!
“Sometimes you act weird, you know that?” Aniruddha frowned. “Fine, I will go see it,” he shrugged.
Aniruddha was surprised at the lamps lit up across the parapet of the roof, as the moonlight seemed to fade away in their shine.
“What is…”
“Order! Order!” He turned to see Bondita, in his gown and cap, with a hammer in hand, bringing order to the imaginary courtroom.
“What are you…?” Aniruddha frowned, confused.
“My Lordship, this accused is misunderstanding my client.” Bondita kept the hammer down and quickly switched to the role of an attorney.
“And how is that, you ask?”
“Did you just call me Accused?” Bondita ignored his question.
“He misunderstood my client Bondita Roy Chowdhury and her intentions completely.”
“Is that so?” Aniruddha crossed his arms on his chest. “Explain how?”
“Bondita Roy Chowdhury was only trying to make her family happy. She didn’t apologise for anything she didn’t do wrong, and the Accused feels he was left out of her plan.”
“He was.” Aniruddha nodded “You could have just…”
“What is the meaning of a surprise if it is told, Your Lordship?” She shook her head and waved her hands very professionally “You tell me, would the Accused not have shouted the roofs of the house about it?”
“Are you saying I shout that much without understanding anything?” Aniruddha’s jaws dropped.
“Tell me, your Lordship, should my client be punished for something she didn’t do or the accused be punished for ignoring her?” She narrowed her eyes at him. Aniruddha cleared his throat.
“Ahem. Order!” Bondita looked a little wide-eyed and amused as he played along. “I see that your client has been wronged.” Aniruddha took the hammer as he spoke.
“Very.” Bondita nodded.
“The Accused must face repercussions.” He stepped up to her as she nodded. He handed her the hammer, and she looked a little surprised. “You be the judge of that.” He said, adjusting the mortarboard hat over her head. “But after you tell me where exactly you imitated the courtroom from?”
Bondita giggled, hiding her mouth with her painted hands. “I saw you, hiding behind the cupboard of the study when you were practising for your first case here.”
“You... “ Aniruddha looked a little wide-eyed “Watched me in secret?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I was curious about the process.” She placed the hammer down as he looked amused. “I wasn’t watching YOU!”
“Of course, I believe you.” He said with a hint of taunt.
“I never… it wasn’t…” Bondita suddenly felt her cheeks grow warm as she realised she had been observing him for some reason or other, without realising it, long before they were actually married.
“That’s not a crime, is it?” Aniruddha surprised her by pulling her into an embrace, his hand around her waist. “I watched you get drenched in the rain.”
“You… what?” Bondita looked taken aback. Could she ever place Barrister Babu looking at her like that, in her imagination? “What else are you hiding from me?”
“One secret at a time. I am still waiting for my punishment.” Aniruddha said, placing a kiss on her forehead.
“What about we postpone that for now?” Bondita blushed.
“That is a good idea. I have an intention of spending it here.” He spoke, holding her hand and dragging her to sit on the swing beside him.
“Just like the first time,” Bondita said, placing her head on Aniruddha’s shoulder.
“Exactly like that.” He said, entwining his finger in hers.
