The Wounds of Love

The procession had stopped at a clearing. The women and children needed to rest for the day. The maids and guards who had followed them into this life of difficulty and sacrifice quickly laid the tents for rest. The young crown prince, still a child, was not used to the extreme conditions of the open air and the desert sun. He was slightly feverish. In his tent, his mother put her hand on his warm forehead worried. There were sounds of footsteps and she grew alarmed. The tent curtains parted. It was his father. She managed a smile, he looked worried and tired.

"Is he all right? He still has a fever doesn't he?" His voice was filled with guilt. Maybe if he did not want the throne or take it upon himself to liberate their land from the Mughals, his son would have lived the luxurious life he lived.

" He is fine Kunwar sa, he is only five. He needs to get some rest. He is not used to the desert sun. Please stop worrying." He clearly saw the worry in her eyes. She just could not lie. He sighed heavily and sat down beside her. Taking her hand in his, he looked at the sleeping boy and smiled. He reminded him of those days when he used to sleep soundly on his mother's lap, much before the Mughal Emperor decided to be his sworn enemy.

"You go and eat your dinner with Rana Ji and Kunwar Jagmal. I am here with him."

" No, I will eat later, with you."

" Solankini..."

" Go feed her, I am sitting with Amar."

"Kunwar Pratap!" Her stern voice stirred him. " She is your responsibility, she is new in the family and it's your duty to make her feel comfortable."

"I did not want to marry her, you forced me to take care of her yourself."

" This is not how a Rajput prince behaves."

"Really? This is how a princess fights with her husband?"

" I am not a princess."

" Yes, you are."

" Kunwar Pratap!"

Their childish fight was interrupted by Solankhini Bai's entrance.

" I am so sorry, I did not know Kunwar Sa is here Jija." She apologised. " I came to see Kunwar Amar." She grew uneasy. She had found a sister in the kind-hearted and gentle Ajabde who was loved by everyone, yet even after almost a year of marriage, she was scared of Kunwar Pratap's presence. She knew he always turned to Ajabde for support and she was relieved it was that way. She was his queen but not his wife yet despite Ajabde's several tries.

" It's fine Behena, he was leaving." Ajabde gave her husband a cold stare. He got up reluctantly and gave a half smile to Solankhini before leaving. Solankhini rushed to Ajabde's side.

" Has his fever receded?"

" No, I am so worried." Ajabde opened her worry to her new friend.

" Shouldn't we call the Rajvaid?"

" No, it will worry everyone. I will see what I can do."

" Why don't you ask Pandit Ji to help?"

" You are right, he might be able to." Calling the daasi, she sends her to Chakrapani's tent to get some medicine for Amar.

" Can I ask you something, Jija?"

" Of Course Behena."

" You called Kunwar sa by name..." Ajabde bit her lips, it was indeed bravery on her part but only inside the closed doors between him and her, now Solankhini knew. Seeing her blush, Solankini smiled. " You and Kunwar Sa are indeed just like I heard before marriage." She left Ajabde smiling.

At night the guards announced that no one should leave the group alone as danger lurked in every corner of the forest. They would resume their journey at noon the next day. As she lay half awake beside her son, Kunwar Pratap came in. She sat up startled.

" Hush." He made a hand gesture at her. " You will wake him."

He came and sat on the other side of the bed.

" Kunwar..."

" No, I will not leave his side." She knew arguing was in vain.

The next day they woke to an alarming noise of guards and maids. Kunwar Pratap stepped out and saw the maids of Solankhini crying. His heart filled with concern. Ajabde rushed to their side. " What is it?"

" Baiji Sa, we woke up and Choti Bai Sa was not there, we searched for her everywhere."

" Hey Eklingji, I hope she did not leave alone in search of the river." Ajabde murmured worriedly.

Pratap rushed to the armoury chest, took out his sword and getting on Chetak ordered Ajabde, " Nobody leaves this spot until I find her." She nodded.

Kunwar Pratap searched all the way to the rivers calling her name in vain. He rode across the clearing in search of her. His anger turned to concern for his new bride. In a clearing, he thought he heard a twig break. He jumped off Chetak and started looking for clues. Suddenly there was the sound of footsteps. He turned in time to catch Solankhini almost falling at his feet, she was breathless.

" I saw a wild cat and I was so scared I..."

" Who told you to go alone?" He held her up, supporting her with his hands.

" I..."

More noises in the clearing and they turned towards the sound. Kunwar Amar stepped out of the trees surprised to see his Choti Ma sa and father in what looked like a hug to him.

" Amar..." Ajabde's call was heard as she appeared behind him taken aback. She dragged Amar by his hand, ignoring what she thought to be a private moment between her husband and his wife and scolded him, " I told you not to run off, you are not well, start listening to your Maa sa." They left for the tent.

Kunwar Pratap let go of Solankhini's arm and called the maids to take her to her tent. He knew what Ajabde thought. He rushed to her tent. On the way, he spotted Amar playing with his grandmother. Ajabde was singing bhajans while making a garland of wildflowers for her Lord Krishna. His footsteps stopped her but she didn't turn to look at him.

" AjabDe..."

" Kunwar sa you should have a bath and get dressed, we are leaving in an hour or two." She looked away.

" There is no one here."

" I know."

" Still you are calling me Kunwar Sa? What's wrong ?"

" Nothing."

" What you saw there..."

" You don't need to explain your personal life to me."

" Yes, I do." Kunwar Pratap rushed to her side. Their eyes met, he knew she had cried. He knew this would eventually hurt her.

" Nothing happened, she fell and I..."

" She is your wife, you owe me no explanation." Ajabde's voice was calm.

" I knew this! I knew you would be hurt someday, I did not want this." He sounded like he was about to cry. " I told you I don't need another wife." Ajabde knew her mistake. She was not supposed to show him she was hurt, he would be reluctant to alliances then and it would also be unfair to Solankhini. She called out as he was about to leave.

" Kunwar Pratap." He stopped to turn back and look at her. She smiled at him and walked up to him.

Their eyes met and she hugged him. He smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead. They smiled at each other and Ajabde moved away saying, " Go now, get dressed, Amar will come back." He saw her blush afraid of what he might do next, in a tent, under broad daylight and he walked away with a smile leaving her to her Pujas. Back in her tent, as the daasis treated her wound, Solankhini smiled at the closest she had got to Kunwar Pratap in the last few months, and the worry she witnessed in his eyes. She said to herself, Jija was right, maybe someday I will get his respect if not love, and be his wife instead of a Queen.

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RAABTA

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