Express

The fashion during those days was that during winter holidays people of Calcutta used to go to villages for change. Aniruddha's first friend in advocacy life was Shekhar Mukherjee. He is the son of a business family in Calcutta. Their gold business had been around for a long time. Since Aniruddha told him about Tulsipur, Shekhar wanted to go and spend a few days there. First Aniruddha avoided it. He did not know how Shekhar would view his family and village life, apart from that he did not tell his friend anything about Bondita as well. All he knew was that Aniruddha was married. Aniruddha didn't want Shekhar to see their relationship wrongly after hearing about his friend's child marriage and not understanding his situation. But Shekhar was adamant about going to Tulsipur. Hence Aniruddha was forced to tell him everything. But his reaction was unexpected. Shekhar understood that Aniruddha's married life was not normal even though he didn't say it. It suddenly occurred to him that this new-found friend had a lifelong deprivation from pleasure and lust and he needed to change that. He invited Aniruddha to a Baijibari in Chitpur. He suppressed his purpose of the invite from Aniruddha. 

Aniruddha heard that his father sometimes travelled to these Mehfils. He had a strong desire to know how these events were. He heard from his friends that the Baijis are very beautiful, their voices like nymphs and their Kathak dance performances rich. But if someone in Tulsipur came to know he went there? Jethamoshai would be angry. He did not like the taste of his younger brother in this case. Aniruddha also stayed away from alcohol. That was the real thing in these events. 
"No, you don't have to do that." Shekhar insisted. “You go, see, learn, what else? If you understand, it is also an experience.” Aniruddha agreed, deciding not to tell Bondita where he was going. She did not enquire if he said there was a party, he would stay at Shekhar's house for the night. Shekhar secretly thought of formulating his plan.

The junction of Chitpur led to a narrow bylane. A hired carriage stopped there. After settling his fare, Aniruddha followed Shekhar. Shekhar told him one should not come to Baiji Para wearing pants and a shirt. So Aniruddha settled for the Dhuti Panjabi for the real experience. Aniruddha said he had an invite in Calcutta at home. Bondita put his money bag, and perfume handkerchief neatly for him. She did not ask her husband a single question. Aniruddha felt suffocated by her trust that day. He came out of the house hurriedly. Shekhar stopped in front of a house. The sound of music was coming from inside. Two stairsteps were barely visible in the dim light. Suddenly a woman stood there and asked "Did you bring this new Babu today?"

"He's my friend," Shekhar replied as Anirudha felt uncomfortable at the observation of the woman. "Babah! He is red with embarrassment." The woman laughed. She offered garlands of Bel. Shekhar bound one around his wrist, and Aniruddha followed after him. He then followed the woman to the third floor. There a girl suddenly spread watered perfume on them. The strong smell made Aniruddha feel like he would have a headache. The event was in a large room, first an older woman sang, she was the main Baiji and then came the dance performance. To be honest, Aniruddha liked it. How many Ragas, how many dance forms, and how many unknown resources of Hindustan culture survived in the house of these Baijis? For whatever reason they do this, they have immense respect for their art. In the middle of the night, Aniruddha checked his watch. Shekhar was busy drinking. 

"Say, let's get up now?" Aniruddha asked Shekhar, close to his ear. Shekhar laughed. "Wait my friend, I have prepared something special for you." Shekhar staggered and took Aniruddha to another Kothi house next door. Aniruddha followed because he did not find it wise to leave him alone. Shekhar went to a girl about his age and stood there. He gave the girl some money. She was wearing a Benarasi and jewellery as if she were a new bride.

"Go ahead with her, I'm coming," Shekhar said to a confused Aniruddha.

"Where?" Aniruddha asked. The girl came forward with a smile, "Are you afraid Babu, will I harm you?" Before he could say anything, the girl entered a room holding Aniruddha's hand and closed the door. 

“What is this? What are you doing?” Aniruddha protested. 

"What your friend told me to do." The girl laughed and threw her garland at him. "You don't have any experience at this age?" She sounded amused. Aniruddha's jaw tightened. Shekhar brought him for this? Did he mean this in his words? "Is there a wife at home? No?"

"Yes." Aniruddha didn’t know why he could not disrespect the girl as he replied. The girl smiled again, "She is that young, is she?" He remembered Bondita’s face. Suddenly Aniruddha couldn't stand in that room anymore. As if he was disrespecting their relationship.

Aniruddha walked out of the house, not wanting to know where Shekhar was. He came to the street and took a Tanga. All through the journey, Aniruddha kept wondering, was Shekhar wrong? It's normal to have desires like Shekhar did at his age.  But more important than fulfilling that need was Bondita’s trust in him. She might be young, but she was his wedded wife. Aniruddha had the maturity to know what their relationship was like, even if eleven years Bondita did not. He could not knowingly commit any wrongdoing towards Bondita. What if Anirudha had lost control of his emotions after listening to Shekhar for a moment? Could he ever forgive himself? Could he ever become worthy of Bondita again? And if Bondita came to know when she understood, wouldn't her respect for him decrease? Could he live with that? For the first time, Anirudha was afraid of losing his wife by his actions.

When Aniruddha returned home, Bondita was lying on the bed with a book. She suddenly stood up when she saw him, "You?" Worry swept across her face, “You were supposed to come tomorrow. Are you sick?” Aniruddha’s sudden hug made her stop. Bondita was surprised. She only held Aniruddha like that when she was afraid. She had never seen Aniruddha do that. But what was he afraid of?

"Are you also afraid of something?" Questioned Bondita. Aniruddha sighed looking into her eyes. 

"I was terrified, I've never felt anything like this before," Aniruddha says putting his hand on her head. 

 "Are you not braver than anyone else?" Bondita questioned with undying faith.

"No matter how brave," said Aniruddha, bowing slightly to her height, "everyone is afraid of losing some precious things." Knowing that the meaning of his words would not be understood, Aniruddha could speak his mind to Bondita more easily. Bondita nodded wisely.

“Don't worry, Barristra Babu. Bondita will not let you lose anything valuable.” Aniruddha was overwhelmed by her assurance. 

The next day he informed Shekhar by telegram that he would not be coming to Tulsipur.

ALL CHAPTERS /Original Version