TU HI APNA PARAYA

Jivanta glanced over to the hospital bench opposite hers, where Pratap sat, his eyes fixed on the corridor where they had wheeled Roshni to the ICU. She couldn’t understand anything. She had asked Roshni and she had repeated there was no… what irked Jivanta was how she was genuinely concerned about a man she barely knew who caused her so much humiliation. She didn’t give herself credit for being so kind or weak. She found a woman around her age approach, Pratap, as he got up at her sight, and hugged her tight.

“It will be fine.” The woman whispered as Pratap let out what Jivanta thought was a sob. Did he love Roshni that much? Jivanta sighed trying to look away from them as Pratap brought the woman over to her.

“This is my mother.” He spoke, his voice still hoarse. Jivanta looked up at the woman who smiled faintly. “Roshni is a strong child, she will be fine.” Hansa sat down beside Jivanta as Pratap went to get them some tea, while they talked.

“Did you… meet her?” Jivanta asked after an awkward silence.

“Only once did she come home. But honestly, I didn’t think they are…” Hansa stopped with a smile. “But then, he never brought any girl home I should have known.”

“I don’t understand anything,” Jivanta confessed, a little puzzled. “I asked her and she said she had nobody. She never mentioned him and…”

“As far as I know they met on her Chittorgarh trip.” Hansa smiled.

“But that was… recently?” Jivanta raised her eyebrows as Hansa nodded.

“But you know what they say about love. Time doesn’t matter because soulmates travel with each other through seven lives.” Hansa’s words made Jivanta look up and ask, almost sarcastically, “You believe in love and all that?”

“Why not?” Hansa shrugged “It is perfectly plausible. I had loved once. Yes, he left us early because he had no choice but I know in my heart he loved me and who knows he is probably waiting for me somewhere.”

“You sound saintly. Almost perfect to be true.” Jivanta shook her head. “I don’t know. I know nothing about him or them to give my blessings.”

“That is justified, so make a choice only after you have heard them out. Once Roshni is better.” For the first time, Hansa saw Jivanta look weak as she sighed and choked saying “They said there was a lot of blood loss…”

“She will be fine,” Hansa reassured her. “My sister-in-law used to say, love is the strongest force of nature. It makes mothers. It can never be weak. The strength of your love and his is with Roshni.” Jivanta wiped her tears and inhaled.

“Your sister-in-law seems wise.”

“She was, she was widowed at eighteen but never had I heard her complain. One day she just renounced everything and left. Pratap used to be around her all the time. I may not vouch for my upbringing but I can vouch for hers. Meera didi’s Pratap would never wrong your daughter.” Jivanta nodded silently at Hansa’s words as Pratap offered them tea. He was relieved to see Jivanta was a little less uptight with him since his mother arrived. After an hour a nurse came looking for the family and said she had regained consciousness. A relieved Jivanta wiped her tears in a smile and turned to see Pratap wipe his tears as she made up her mind. Jivanta realised that the love she heard of, resented and saw Hansa believe in was something she had never felt before. Her parents resented her as a daughter, and her husband never loved her. She tried to be as less affectionate towards Roshni as possible. Love hurt her and made her weak, and she believed Roshni should be prepared for the worst of it. She didn’t realise that the same love made her a protective mother, and gave her the will to live for her child’s better future and there was no way she could deny Roshni her chance at love.

“Go and see her.” Her words startled Pratap as he looked at his mother who nodded and smiled.

His touch on her cheeks gently woke her up. Roshni blinked as her vision cleared and she could see him smiling even with his bruises.

“Are you hurt?” She asked, a little alarmed, as he shook his head.

“I didn’t expect you would come.” She spoke softly. "But I hoped..."

“I wasn't sure I would either.” He shook his head.

“Then why did you?” Roshni asked, with raised eyebrows. Pratap smiled faintly.

“Because I felt like this is not the first time I was losing you, and I couldn't stand that empty feeling." His eyes shone as she smiled faintly,"... and I had to tell you something, and take you somewhere.” Roshni looked puzzled at his last words.

“And what made you think I’d go with you?” She raised her eyebrows slightly and realised her head hurt. She winced as he looked concerned for a moment.

“I don’t know. I still don’t know what I feel and what I do and why I do it…” he confessed.

“Maasa?” She asked worriedly.

“She is the one who sent me here.” He reassured, holding her hand, with a smile as she sighed relieved.

“What do we do now?” Roshni asked, confused. “Tell the world our story?”

“Is our story here and now?" His voice seemed distant and she felt a shiver down her spine. "No. It was there before this life and it will continue after us." She smiled faintly as her teary eyes made him wipe away the droplets before they reached her cheeks, " We keep our story within us and give them a story they would believe in.” Pratap shook his head. “Not all stories are meant for the world to understand. You know who used to say that?”

“Meera Ma?” Roshni guessed.

“Yes, she talked of how humans are capable of all kinds of love. Like that of her namesake Mira Bai and her Giridhar. Hidden from the world was love, so deep that even cupid was jealous.” Roshni nodded at Pratap, “So we tell them we met at Chittorgarh?”

“And fell in love at Bijoliya.” he nodded with a smile. “Where is the lie?”

“So… that’s it? How it starts?” Roshni asked, suddenly a little awkward as he smiled at her.

“It starts here… with… I love you, now, forever and beyond this life.” Pratap gently kissed her forehead as her eyes sparkled. “And I am never giving up on us.”

“I love you too and I am not giving up either.” Roshni agreed.

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Purnota: Chapter Eleven

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She Left...

The war was over and so were the hopes of regaining Chittor. The Battle at Haldighati had robbed the Rana of all his wealth, and brave men, and bruised him for life. Trying to match up to Akbar or rather Raja Man Singh's army with one-third its strength had cost his bravery dearly. He had lost his friend and companion. He had brushed past death. The only good thing that this war ensured was that Akbar accepted that he cannot have Mewar. His army retreated and left the country in peace after almost two decades and seventeen wars. This war gave something else too. Kunwar Shakti came to help his brother in his time of need. He lived up to his brother's expectations of being loyal to his family. A heavy-hearted Rana Pratap Singh was overseeing the construction work on his lost friend's memorial right where he died, trying to save his master. The Bronze statue of the life-like Chetak stood tall but was no match for the void Chetak has left behind. He was lost in his thoughts as ...

Purnota: Chapter Five

Aniruddha finished reading the book he had carried with him in the dim light of the bulb in his room and decided to pack it away. He was leaving in a few days and wanted to make sure he left nothing behind. The construction work on the school had started, and the Panchayat wanted to give him a thankful farewell he humbly refused. The spotlight should be on Trilochon to help with his next election campaign. Aniruddha did not want to associate himself with the party or the job. He contemplated going back home and telling his father that he had decided to pursue a career in India instead of his initial plan of going back to London. He had been giving it a thought for quite some time, and the day he said it out loud to Bondita, he knew in his subconscious mind he had already decided on it. The more he saw the village, the more sure he was that he was needed by his countrymen. Dadu put faith in him that he could be part of something bigger than himself and his career, and he intended to kee...

Purnota: Chapter Twelve

Bondita woke up to the alarm clock ringing as she struggled to get her hand out of the quilt wrapped around her. She sat inside the mosquito net, rubbing her eyes and staring at the clock, trying to remember why she had set the alarm at 3.45 AM. Then her eyes shone in delight. It was Mahalaya. She remembered that during her days in Dehra, she had educated her roommate on the tradition of starting pujo with the voice of Birendra Krishna Bhadra echoing through the air. She was uninterested, and Bondita had borrowed her headphones to hear the program and deeply missed home. She remembered as a child, while her father was still alive, he would gently wake her up, and take her on his lap to the huge Banyan tree near the Panchayat where people gathered near the Pradhan’s radio, putting flower garlands and lamps around it and folding their hands as they heard Mahishashur Mardini killing the Asura. When she arrived in Kolkata to get her law degree, she thought things would be different. But ev...

Purnota: Chapter Ten

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" Maharanisa! Maharanisa!" The maid-in-waiting ran through the quiet Rani Mahal as Jaivanta Bai, who was sitting in front of the Lord in her room ever since she was back, rushed out of her room, followed by Sajjabai and Veerbai. " What happened?" She asked, her voice calm, but her heart thumping. " Kunwarsa is here... with Kunwarani... She... She...." The maid sobbed as Jaivanta Bai rushed to the room. She stood at the door as her eyes could not believe what she saw. Kunwar Pratap was soaked in her blood as he laid her down on the bed, shouting, " Quick. Rajvaidya..." His eyes stopped at the door as Jaivanta Bai rushed to be beside the unconscious Ajabdeh. The Daasis and Sevaks were running about soon enough. Sajja Bai gasped at the scene. So much blood. Kunwar Pratap had not noticed anything except her calm, unconscious face. Now that he noticed his blood-soaked hands, red, he stared at them as though in a trance. "Kunwar Pratap! Tell me w...

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